by Utt, Kelly
“I know…” I offer, sheepishly.
“And if we decide to go to the grocery store, it’s not a big deal,” my wife continues. “Breakfast, remember?”
I shake my head slowly from side to side, thinking of the dream Ethan and I shared. Thinking of the open door at Mom’s house. Thinking of the cargo van we passed on the way to the airport. And thinking of the horrible night of sheer terror in January when we almost lost our sweet boy. I haven’t told Marjorie and Ali about Ethan’s bad dream the other morning being the same as mine from a couple mornings prior.
“George,” Roddy says, placing one hand on my shoulder and gently forcing me to rotate to face him. As usual, he seems to be able to tell what I’m thinking. “Do you really think I’d leave my wife, my daughter, and my grandsons anywhere if I had even the slightest indication that it wasn’t safe for them?”
“Of course, not,” I answer quickly.
I feel Liam’s hand on my other shoulder.
“Buddy,” my uncle begins. “This is a good chance to relax and enjoy. Remember?”
“Yeah,” I say. “And the last time you told me that, my relaxation lasted about a day before my entire life nearly collapsed.”
Ethan and Leo are looking up at me now. They look worried. Roddy opens his eyes wide and motions towards them with his head, letting me know that it’s time to be strong so they feel safe.
“George, buddy,” Liam continues. “We’re going out on the lake for the afternoon. No big deal. We’ll pick up Marjorie, Ali, and the boys for dinner. We’ll only be gone for a few hours.”
I take another two deep breaths in quick succession, trying to calm myself.
“Georgie,” Ali says. “You’ve been away from us plenty of times at home in recent months. Why are you getting so worked up now?”
I close my eyes and shake my head side to side again, involuntarily. I wonder if I should tell them all now about the dream. Or about the gnawing pit in my stomach that I can’t explain. Words fail me but my body speaks, shaking my head side to side once more, saying no. I feel both Liam’s and Roddy’s hands on my shoulders. They’re holding me steady, just like they’ve done before, and like they’ll no doubt do again. I’m still clasping Ali’s hand. I open my eyes and look towards the door. I know Duke and Taye are out there waiting. We invited them here and everyone is ready to talk business. I want to talk business. I really do. I’m excited about the venture. And I feel driven to pursue it for the sake of my family’s long-term wellbeing.
“Okay,” I say. “I’m okay. Everything is okay.”
“Attaboy,” Roddy says, patting my shoulder now.
“We’re good, Georgie,” Ali says as she looks up into my eyes.
I love the sight of my wife’s face. It’s the most beautiful sight in the whole world. I adore her and our boys so very much. A flash of fear catapults through my mind and I wonder if this is the last time I’ll see the four of them. Not to mention, I’m not sure I could go on without them. They are the very essence of me.
I toss the frightening thought out as quickly as it enters. I can’t think like that. What’s wrong with me? Like Liam said, it’s no big deal. We’re going out on a boat for a few hours. That’s all.
I kiss my wife on the lips gently, then I kiss my children, Ethan, Leo, and John William, on the foreheads. I savor the feel of their warm skin on mine. I inhale their sweet scents. Then I kiss my mother-in-law on the cheek and I walk out the door. I close it behind me, making sure to listen for the comforting chime of the alarm system. Relax and enjoy, Liam implores. Relax and enjoy.
The Jeep ride to the marina is just as fast as my uncle promised. In a matter of minutes, we have the keys and we’re loading our cooler onto a new, sparkly pontoon boat. It’s a looker. Liam picked a good one. The seats are a sandy color leather. There’s a ladder on the back for easy reentry after a swim. And there’s a red sun shade over top to keep us from getting sunburnt. The boat is actually larger than we need. We could probably fit another five people onboard if we wanted to. Maybe even seven or nine extra people if we packed in close. It’s a perfect party boat.
“You did good, Liam,” I say, trying to lighten up and sound normal.
“Yes, sir,” Duke says with a laugh. “You’ve almost convinced me it was worth it to leave my pregnant fiance at home and come hang out with you guys.”
“We’ll make it worth your while, Duke,” Roddy says.
“Oh, I know you will,” Duke replies. He admires Roddy. Defers to him even. We all seem to do so without completely understanding why.
We pull out a round of ice cold beer bottles and crack them open as we scoot out of the marina and into open waters. Liam drives the boat. I’m sure any one of us could steer the watercraft if needed, but Liam rented the thing and is taking charge of captaining, so we let him. The steering wheel and captain’s chair sit squarely in the middle. Better for stability, I suppose. This boat isn’t designed for speed. I take a seat on one of the benches towards the back near Taye. The sun is warm and I’m loosening up, despite a persistent feeling of dread that I can’t fully explain. Maybe I should talk to Dr. Epstein about this anxiety when I get back, if that’s what it is. The crystal clear waters of the lake sparkle below us. Relax and enjoy, I tell myself.
It doesn’t take long for our group to arrive at a nice cove on the western side of the lake. Several other boats have anchored there and people are happily swimming nearby as Bob Marley music plays in the background from a sound system. As we pull in to dock alongside the others, I notice that there are a few dogs swimming with their owners. Boy, our Ladygirl would love that. I wish she were here.
“Hey Duke,” I say. “If Jen ends up missing you so bad that she flies out here, tell her to bring Lady along. Can’t you see my furry girl frolicking in these clear waters? The boys would love to see that, too.”
“You’re right, George,” Liam adds as Marley’s Three Little Birds pipes through the air.
Singin’ don’t worry. About a thing.
“Lady would get a kick out of this. These waters are much better than the muddy lake waters at home.”
Cause every little thing, is gonna be alright.
“Hey,” I say to my uncle. “Did I hear that right? Did you just call Ithaca home?”
“Nice,” Roddy adds, smiling.
“I guess I did,” Liam says with a smile of his own. “Life is good, George. Like we said at the party the other night, good things are happening for this family.”
Duke nods along to the beat, both feeling the music and expressing his agreement at the same time.
“I know I have a hell of a lot to look forward to,” Duke says.
“Look at you,” Taye says. “Wedding and baby coming up soon, right?”
“That’s right,” Duke confirms. “I hope every one of you plan to attend the special event.”
“Oh? You gonna let us watch when that baby is born?” Taye teases.
“Nah, man,” Duke says with a laugh. “Seriously, though. The wedding is next month. I want you all there. Wear something pretty.”
“We’ll be there, Duke,” Roddy says. “But right now, it’s time for a dip in this water. It’s calling to me.”
“And look, Taye,” Liam adds with a chuckle. “No creepy crawlies.”
We’re all wearing swim trunks. We put them on before we knew Liam had rented a boat. I guess we all envisioned an afternoon swim happening, regardless of the details. Roddy peels his shirt off, exposing his fit and trim physique as he jumps into the lake. It’s impressive for a man of any age, let alone a man in his sixties. Maybe he and I can go boxing together once he moves to town. I know my father-in-law likes to box regularly.
“Hey, Roddy,” I say once his head surfaces above the line of the water. “You found a place to box in Ithaca yet? I want to join you.”
In a few quick motions, the rest of us have our shirts off and are jumping into the water around the boat like a bunch of carefree boys. The water is cold bu
t refreshing. It feels invigorating as I plunge and it swallows my body. I hear Duke and Roddy already talking about boxing when my head breaches the surface.
“Yeah, George,” Roddy says, turning his attention to me. “I have a place picked out. We’ll do it. Duke, too.”
“I’m in,” Liam adds. “Haven’t boxed in a long time. Might as well give it another go.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Roddy replies.
“I’d say I’d join you, as well,” Taye adds, wiping water from under his eyes. “But, you know.”
“Yeah, I’d like to know,” Roddy says. “Any chance you’ll be joining the rest of us in Ithaca at some point?”
“It’s a possibility,” Taye begins. “It all depends on what we’re doing with this new business, and how and when. I’m set up pretty nice in Connecticut. And I’m close to Malcolm.”
“Why don’t we get down to it, then?” Roddy asks as we splash around and tread water.
“Right here?” I ask. “In the water?”
“Why not?” Liam adds. “It’ll be memorable that way. First business meeting. Right in the waters of the world-famous Lake Tahoe.”
“Alright, alright,” Duke adds, sounding like he’s just accepted a challenge.
I’m sensing a competitive spirit amongst us. The water we’re in is too deep for any of us to touch the bottom. I assume no one will want to be the first to say he’s tired of treading water. The physical activity and camaraderie is helping me feel better. The pit in my stomach is going away now. The others turn and look at me as if I should call the meeting to order.
“Oh,” I say. “Is that my cue?”
“Looks that way, buddy,” Liam says, his wet, salt and pepper hair glistening in the sun. It strikes me that he looks a lot more like Dad when his hair is wet. I’m glad I have my uncle. He’s the only genetic link I have to Dad aside from my boys.
“Okay, then” I begin. I glance at Roddy to see if he seems to want to take the lead. He doesn’t. Not right now. Not in this situation, anyway.
“Go on,” Roddy says.
“Alright,” I say. “How about we begin by talking a little bit about what we envision for this company and what we think we can contribute?”
“Right,” Duke says. “I’ll start, because I’m not sure what this company even is, let alone how I can contribute to it. I’m here because I’m intrigued by the prospect of true financial security for my family.”
“I get that,” I say. “Roddy suggested we get you involved. The rest of us agreed it was a good idea.”
“Beautiful,” Duke says.
“We’ll come back to you,” I say. “Anybody else?”
“I’ll go,” Liam says, letting his knees rise up above the water and attempting to float in what looks like a makeshift chair position made entirely out of his body. I think his muscles are too dense to make the pose work. His legs quickly sink back down below him.
“Go ahead, Liam,” I prompt.
“I’m here because I envision George doing great, important things,” my uncle says. He sounds proud. “Like I said at the party the other night, when I heard George’s plans, I couldn’t let him pursue them alone. So, I’m here to support my nephew and to utilize my aerospace engineering expertise in a setting that allows me more flexibility than the Air Force currently does. It’s time for a change.”
“That’s very kind of you and much appreciated,” I say.
“It is,” Roddy says to Liam. “Tell us more, though. What specifically can you contribute?”
“Alright, well,” Liam continues. “As most of you probably know, I’ve worked closely with George in Air Force special ops for a number of years. We have a lot of overlapping knowledge and experience.”
“We do,” I add.
“I’m a little older,” Liam says with a grin. “My bachelor’s degree is in mechanical engineering. When I was young and fresh, I worked with teams designing some of the old fighter jet engines back before drones were even a thing. Once the focus on unmanned aircraft started intensifying in the nineties and early oughts, the Air Force sent me back to school and I picked up a master’s degree in aerospace engineering. That program had a lot of mechanical engineering, but even more coursework specific to aeronautics and aerospace.”
“Wow,” Taye says, genuinely in awe. “I knew you guys did that kind of thing, but hearing a few details makes me even more impressed. You gotta be smart for them to let you through those gates.”
“Maybe,” Liam says with a smile. “But my nephew is the one with the Ph.D. He’s the smartest of us smart guys.”
I smile, too, and feel myself blush. I don’t want to draw too much attention to my professional qualifications. I believe in being humble. I realize I still need to work on that though. And I realize I’m amongst friends. Not to mention the fact that these guys are putting their own futures at stake by aligning themselves with me. They need to know I’m qualified. It’s an old habit that’s hard to break though, so rather than talking about myself, I deflect.
“How about you, Taye? Give us an introduction,” I say.
“Okay,” Taye starts as he moves forward a little in the water towards the rest of the group. It looks as if he has stepped forward, even though we’re all still swimming. “Most of you know about me, too, I believe. Duke knows the least, but I filled him in some on the ride down from Reno this morning.”
“Good shit,” Duke says, nodding.
“My bachelor’s degree is in criminology,” Taye says. “Ali and I met and became friends while we were both undergraduate students at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville. I was recruited and went right into the F.B.I. when I graduated college. Now, I should preface that by explaining that I was a late bloomer and didn’t start college until I was almost twenty-five. Once I got there, I was serious though.”
“Better late than never,” Liam says.
“I know that’s right,” Taye agrees. “I soon found myself in Albany, New York at the regional field office which serves all of Vermont and a long list of counties in the state of New York. There, I worked on a range of criminal cases. Most involved sexual predators, child pornography, and human trafficking. Nasty stuff. I quickly realized that I needed more technical knowledge to keep pace. I felt like I had to gain additional training to meet the criminals where they were beating us. I didn’t want to become an old, crusty dinosaur, unable to be agile in the modern age. So, I went back to school and picked up a second bachelor’s degree in computer engineering with a concentration in cybersecurity. That really accelerated my career and allowed me to dabble in all sorts of useful areas within the F.B.I. including data networks, RF systems, alarm and access control systems, video security, and other tactical programs.”
“Nice,” Roddy says.
“It’s relevant these days,” Taye replies. “That’s for damn sure.”
We all nod and continue swimming, waiting for him to go on.
“And how did you jump from that to your consulting business?” I ask.
“It took some time,” Taye continues. “It didn’t happen overnight. But after years of seeing all the ugly things that can happen to people, I decided that I wanted to do something to prevent the bad stuff from happening in the first place. I always felt so helpless as I worked on cases where innocent kids had been victimized in some way. When my own boy, Malcolm, was born and began to grow up, I knew it was time to position myself on the prevention end. From there, it was as simple as looking at my knowledge and skill set and figuring out where I could best help. I saved up some money to use as a cushion, then moved to the Gold Coast of Connecticut and began pitching my residential security services to wealthy residents. There’s plenty of money in that area. And security is important. Luckily, the business took off quickly and has provided me a nice living ever since.”
“Sounds great,” Liam says. “Nice work.”
“Thanks, man,” Taye answers. “It is nice. Honestly though, I worry about all the kids outside of my
little spot in Connecticut. And the elderly folks who can’t very well defend themselves. There’s a tremendous need for security systems to keep people safe. When I heard you guys talking about larger scale systems, that’s what piqued my interest. I’d very much like to be a part of a broader solution.”
“I think you’re a great fit,” Liam says. “Don’t you, George?”
“I do,” I reply. “I’m glad you expressed interest in working with us, Taye. I didn’t realize all the details of what you’ve done either. It lines up nicely.”
“I’m glad to be here,” Taye says. “Thank you for the opportunity.”
I smile big and shake my head up and down. I know how much Taye means to Ali. I’m really looking forward to the chance to get to know him better myself. He is clearly a good guy.
“I’ll go next,” Roddy offers.
This should be good. I wonder if he’ll tell us something new.
“Please do, Mr. New York City Playwright,” Liam says, only half joking.
“I’ll expect that what I’m about to say won’t go beyond our group,” he begins. “Agreed?”
We all agree emphatically and scoot forwards to tighten our circle. There are some other boaters lounging on their decks not too far away. We lower our voices to ensure privacy.
“My background involves more than just being a playwright,” Roddy confirms.
“I knew it,” I mumble under my breath.
“I’m originally from Britain. When I was a young adult, I was recruited for British Intelligence.”
And there it is. Out in the open, at last. I wonder if anyone besides Liam and I ever suspected as much. He and I share a knowing glance. Suspicions confirmed.
“Whoa,” Duke says, surprised.
“That’s intense,” Taye echoes.
