No Regrets: Jani Kay (Firebird Trilogy Book 2)

by Jani Kay

  “I missed you too, sweetheart.”

  Fuck. This is going to be harder than I thought.

  Natasha had never done anything wrong. She’d gone all out to please me, never refusing sex or other requests. Her only fault was that she wasn’t Rebecca. I didn’t want to hurt her. She was aware it could end at any time.

  Only she has no clue it’s happening tonight.

  She grabbed my belt, going straight for the chase. A few months ago, I would’ve loved it. Natasha had been away on consignment for nearly three weeks and the pressure in my balls had built up to maddening levels. After how Rebecca left me yesterday, I was ready to explode.

  Natasha knew me well after being together for three years of ‘marriage’. She understood I wanted her to blow me as soon I walked in the door to get the worst pressure off. Then I’d fuck her—sometimes twice depending on my stress levels—before I went home to sleep in my own bed.

  Placing my hand over hers, I stopped her.

  “We need to talk.”

  No point in delaying the inevitable.

  “Max, I need you to fuck me. My pussy is all wet for you. Isn’t that what you want first, babe? To fuck me? We can talk after.” Her voice was low and sexy, her eyes filled with lust.

  She gripped my cock. Her eyebrows rose as she pouted and pulled a sad face. “What, no hard-on to welcome Natasha home? What’s wrong, Max?”

  I pushed her toward the couch. “Sit. Like I said, we need to talk.”

  She pulled the tie of her robe, letting it fall open to reveal her naked body. Exactly how I’d instructed her to wait for me—pussy waxed and ready to fuck. “Oh, baby, I can fix that. Natasha can give Max a hard-on.” She grabbed my hand and placed it between her legs. “Feel how wet I am, Max. Wet for you.” She spread her legs to give me access to her clit.

  Christ, I sure needed a fuck! I was just a man with a load ready to go off. What man in his right mind would refuse such a willing pussy?

  I’d fucked Natasha on every surface in this place, what would one more time matter? For old time’s sake? But no, it wasn’t her I wanted. My dick remained limp.

  With a heavy sigh, I closed my eyes. There was only one image burnt into my mind: the silhouette of Rebecca against the wall, her lips parted, her breasts heavy from her arousal.

  I want Rebecca more than I need this.

  I pulled my hand away, before the temptation overwhelmed me. “Baby,” she moaned, pushing her pussy against my leg. “Fuck me, please.”

  “Natasha, sit. Now,” I growled.

  With a pout, she sat on the curved leather chair—the special one I’d bought specifically for fucking—her legs spread wide open so that her shaved pussy was shamelessly exposed.

  With my best poker face, I sat across from her, on the edge of the seat, training my eyes on her face.

  “The contract is over, Natasha. Please come to the lawyer’s office to sign the release papers tomorrow.”

  Her jaw dropped. She jumped up and straddled my lap, placing her long arms around my neck.

  “No, Max. No!” she cried. “It can't be over. What has Natasha done wrong? Natasha will stay home. You can fuck her more if you want.”

  “It's not that,” I said, pulling my brows together, weary to the bone. The way she referred to herself in third person grated on my nerves. I’d always thought it cute. Now it was just plain childish.

  “What can Natasha do to make Max happy? To make Max stay?”

  My frown deepened. Why wasn’t she listening? “There’s nothing. I warned you from the start that someday the contract could end. That time is now.”

  A side of Natasha I’d never seen before emerged in front of my eyes. Her voice hardened, not sounding like a needy child any longer. “Who’s the bitch you’re fucking, Max? Tell me, I have a right to know.”

  “Calm down. I'm not fucking anyone else.” Technically that’s true.

  “Liar. Your dick is limp. It's never limp. You always want to fuck me. I’ll kill the bitch.” Her voice was a shrill pitch.

  I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, drawing a deep breath. “It's over, Natasha. You keep the apartment. And you have your career. You’re a beautiful woman, rich and famous—you’ll find someone else.”

  “I don’t want anyone else. I want you, Max. Don’t you get it? I love you. Please don’t end it.” She’d gone from psycho bitch to pleading and needy in two-minutes flat.

  “It's time to move on,” I said, trying to calm her down.

  She played her trump card. “I’ll tell the tabloids you’re having an affair; that’s why we are splitting up. Imagine the scandal. It will break you and Grant Industries.”

  I let out a long breath. “No, it won’t. And if you really love me as you say, you wouldn’t want to harm me. I wish you all the best for your future, Natasha. Why can't you do that for me—for all the good times we’ve had?”

  She wiggled her ass till she was off my lap. Standing in front of me, she slipped the robe off her body, letting it fall to her feet. “You’re walking away from this. So many men have wanted to fuck me, but I've only ever wanted you. It was easy to keep my side of the contract.” Her voice was a low whisper. “Now this. Haven’t I been good to you, Max? Why now?”

  I shrugged. She’d never understand.

  “Is there someone else?” She sucked in a breath and held it, her gaze trained on me.

  “No,” I lied.

  “I know you, Max, better than you think. You’re lying.” Her eyes narrowed as she scrutinized my face. “I know who she is. The redhead. You practically pant when she’s around, like she’s a bitch in heat. And you never want to fuck me when she’s in town. I worked it out before—”

  “She doesn’t want me.” Maybe the truth would throw her off guard.

  She cocked her head sideways. “Yeah, wasn’t she fucking that rich, sexy French guy? I think she was even engaged to him.”

  Natasha could’ve stabbed me with a dagger in my heart; it would’ve hurt less. I exhaled sharply, trying to regain my balance.

  “It is her. You look as if your mother just died. You want her, don’t you, Max?”

  I pressed my lips together tightly. My fucking head was pounding. “Just sign the papers tomorrow, Natasha.” I pushed to my feet to leave. I'd had enough.

  Natasha stood in my path. She grabbed my shirt in her fists, looking up at me seductively. “Fuck me, Max. One more time. I want your dick inside me.”

  “I know what you’re trying to do. It's not going to work. Step aside.”

  There was nothing left to say.

  Her eyes went cold. “I’ll kill the bitch, Max. You’re mine.”

  A chill ran down my spine.

  “No, Natasha, I never was. Get over it and move on with your life. You can make it really good if you want to.”

  I got into the elevator, watching her stand there as the doors closed. Naked. Shoulders slumped. Tears streaming down her cheeks.

  Thank fuck I dodged that bullet.

  Chapter 16 – Rebecca

  I hugged Lily as if I’d never let her go. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed my baby sister until this moment. One week since my impulsive return from New York, and I was going stir crazy being alone most of the day.

  “Becca! Oh, my God, I’m so excited to be here,” she squealed, her cheeks flushed. She’d saved up for weeks to afford a ticket to visit me while I was in Paris. It’d always been her dream to see the romantic French city. So when I called my mother to tell her I’d relocated to Munich, she was so taken aback that she blurted out all Lily’s plans to me. I’d convinced Mum to let me pay the balance of my sister’s ticket to Munich.

  “It’s great to have you here, cupcake. Even though it’s not Paris, the Germans are fun too. In fact, I brought a friend to meet you.”

  I pulled Kurt from behind me, and shoved him toward my sister. “Lily, meet Kurt. He’s the only person I know in Germany.”

  Lily smiled shyly at Kurt an
d I heard him draw in a ragged breath. His eyes gleamed as he took her hand in his. “Welcome to Munich. Rebecca has told me a lot about you. I’m looking forward to showing you around my city.”

  Her eyes widened for a second as she appraised him. Lily had always been shy around boys, and as far as I knew, she was still very much a virgin. She’d never had a boyfriend or brought boys home like Chloe and I did. Maybe she never met the right ones who made her feel comfortable. She pulled her hand from Kurt’s and adjusted her glasses.

  “I’ll get your luggage.” Kurt offered and walked off toward the baggage carousel.

  “Did you have a good flight?” I said, my arm around her thin shoulders as we followed him.

  She laughed. “Ha ha, you definitely spoiled me. As a student, I could barely afford cattle class never mind business class. Thanks, Sis. Nice touch.” She nodded toward Kurt who had retrieved her suitcase. “Where did you meet him? He’s rather cute.”

  “He is, but he’s just a really good friend. He’s helped me a lot since I got here. Kind of took me under his wing,” I said wistfully. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without Kurt. The universe put him in my path just when I needed someone to look out for me. I couldn’t have wished for a better friend than Kurt.”

  “You mean he...he’s not your boyfriend?” Lily asked, her gaze pinned on me. “He’s so good looking. I'm surprised you haven’t hooked up with him.”

  “After Julian, I'm off blond guys. As sweet as Kurt is, there’s no chemistry between us. Besides, right now, I actually need a friend more than a lover. So it works just perfectly for me.”

  “Ohhh, sorry. Is it still the Frenchman? Mum told me about him.”

  Before I could answer, Kurt was beside us, pulling Lily’s suitcase along. “Wow, for a girl, you sure travel light,” he laughed as he led us to the car.

  “Hmmm, that’s only since I got an e-reader. Before their invention, my bags were heavy with books. At least now I only have to carry one small device.”

  Kurt blinked at her, grinning. “You like reading? Me too! I can get lost in a book for hours.”

  “Hey, bookworms,” I teased, “let’s get Lily settled before you start talking books, huh?”

  Kurt insisted Lily sit in the front seat. I was happy that the two of them had hit it off because it was a rare occurrence for Lily. She had a gentle soul, one that took time to open up to strangers or to trust anyone who wasn’t family.

  I must have nodded off in the back seat, because Lily gently shook my shoulders. “Hey, Sis, wake up. I'm the one who should be jet-lagged,” she laughed. She was right, but the sleepless nights I’d had, tossing and turning in my bed, replaying the last conversation I had with Maxwell over and over in my mind, had completely worn me out.

  Although I’d resigned as soon as I got back to Germany, Maxwell had refused to accept my resignation. He told me to take two weeks off and think about it. Since I’d already organized a trip to Paris with Lily for my thirtieth birthday, I agreed. On one condition: he couldn’t contact me at all. I needed a clean break to sort through my mind.

  I showed Lily to her room and let her freshen up. Kurt had invited us to his apartment for dinner, so he’d just dropped us off and then went to prepare the food. I wouldn’t say he was a great cook, but he always whipped up something healthy and nutritious that didn’t taste too bad.

  She had a shower while I made us both a cup of tea so we could catch up with one another’s news. She wrapped her robe tightly around her and curled her legs under her on the couch.

  Steam rose from her mug and she blew over the hot tea. “Wow, it's so awesome to finally be here. It felt like the final exams would never end. I just hope I pass everything.”

  I laughed. “Cupcake, you study so damn hard, I’m sure you’ll ace it. Mum told me you hardly slept and she had to force you to eat properly.”

  Lily shrugged. “You know how nervous I get. And living with Chloe in your apartment isn’t always easy.”

  My eyes snapped to hers. “What do you mean? What’s Chloe up to now?” I couldn’t help feeling annoyed. Chloe and I clashed all the time, so she was getting an earful from me if she’d hurt Lily in any way.

  She bit her lip. “Um...she’s fine. Really.”

  Lily hated when Chloe and I quarreled and she’d do anything to keep the peace.

  “Tell me. Nothing Chloe does surprises me.”

  As close as we were as sisters, Chloe and I often had heated arguments growing up and still did as adults. My mother called my middle sister her ‘wild child’ because she was such a free spirit. She spoke her mind, did as she pleased and lived life as if there were no tomorrow. As cautious as I was and as shy as what Lily was, so out there Chloe was. Sometimes I wished I could be more like her—carefree and spontaneous.

  “Oh, nothing unusual. She’d bring guys home...and I could hear them in her bedroom. So I used your earphones a lot. I’m so glad you got new ones and left the old ones behind.”

  Although she chuckled and made light of it, I could just imagine what went on. Chloe wasn’t shy around men. She collected them like other people collected stamps. Most men were attracted to her outgoing nature and larger than life personality. Poor Lily.

  I took a sip of my tea. “Well now you’re with me, you can sleep as much as you like. Besides Kurt, nobody comes here and there’s certainly no crazy sex going on.”

  “Please don’t tell Chloe I said anything.”

  Reaching out, I squeezed her hand. “If it will make you feel better, I promise I won’t.”

  I smiled reassuringly and changed the subject to our mother. Lily told me all her news, most of which I already was aware of as mum called me every week to find out if I was okay and eating properly. Even though I was a continent away, she couldn’t help herself worrying about me.

  Eventually we’d caught up and I noticed Lily’s eyes were glazing over. I threw a light blanket over her, encouraging her to take a nap. It wasn’t five minutes and she’d dozed off.

  I sat staring at her innocent face for a while. She was even more angelic when she slept. At least she’d keep me occupied while I struggled with my inner demons about what to do with Maxwell. The irony was that I missed him. He kept to his promise of giving me space as I’d demanded. Yet I was secretly disappointed, wanting to hear his voice. Yeah, it was fucked up and I knew it. When I was with him I ran away and when we were apart I missed him. Go figure.

  An hour later she woke up and seemed refreshed. She changed into jeans and a T-shirt and applied lip-gloss.

  “I’m ready to go. I'm excited to see his place,” she said, grinning.

  Lily’s cheeks flushed as we walked over to Kurt’s place. She was more curious about Kurt than any guy I’d ever known of. She bombarded me with questions, carefully trying to fish if we were in a relationship or not. The more I told her we were just great friends, the less she wanted to believe me.

  “There must be something wrong with you if you don’t find Kurt attractive,” she gushed, watching my face apprehensively.

  “I didn’t say he wasn’t attractive, Lily. All I said was he was a great friend and nothing more.”

  “So you wouldn’t mind if I took him up on his offer to take me sightseeing then?” She beamed, her cheeks rosy and her eyes bright.

  “Not at all, cupcake. I have a few things going on work-wise I’m trying to sort out, so it would be great if you spend time with Kurt. I know he’ll take good care of you. He’s a good man.”

  “Thanks, Sis. I’m glad I came to visit you. It's going to be great.”

  If my family and friends were happy, I was happy.

  Only, I wasn’t truly there yet. There was still the issue of my boss. I just couldn’t stop thinking about Maxwell fucking Grant. But it wasn’t the same as it was before. Instead, it was because I wanted him. Fuck my life. I just couldn’t win.

  *****

  Dinner was great. I sat listening to Kurt and Lily rave about books they both loved, watchi
ng them discover they liked most of the same things, not only books, but also movies, music and art. They made plans for each day around Kurt’s work schedule and he was scheming how he could ask his brother for a few nights off when he didn’t need to do shifts at the bar. It sounded to me as if they planned to spend every free moment Kurt had together, since he invited Lily to join our fitness workouts too.

  It was sweet actually. It also gave me the opportunity to chill out and simply soak up the pleasure of their company without any pressure.

  Of course my mind drifted to Maxwell. I had another week to sort myself out; to decide if I was staying or going back to Australia with Lily.

  A week in which I probably wasn’t going to get much sleep either as I wrestled between what my heart and my mind wanted.

  A week for Maxwell to prove he was willing to fight for me.

  Chapter 17 – Rebecca

  “I’m so tired tonight, sweetheart. I’m just going to veg out on the couch and watch a bit of TV before I go to bed. Do you mind if we eat leftovers and have a quiet night?”

  I’d kicked off my shoes as we walked in the door and I had my legs folded under me on the comfy sofa. A whole day out with Lily on a sightseeing tour had been fun, but the restless nights and lack of sleep had finally caught up with me. My limbs ached, feeling heavy and impossible to lift.

  Lily frowned. “I was hoping to go shopping to get Kurt a book as a gift for all the time he’s spent showing me around. There’s a specific one he mentioned and I’d love to see his face when I give it to him.”

  “Can we go another night? My feet are killing me.” I didn’t want to sound whiny, but my body was telling me it had enough for one day.

  “Um...Kurt’s working, so going tonight is ideal. Since when have sore feet stopped you from shopping? You’re the one who calls it retail therapy.” She laughed. “Why don’t you have a power nap for an hour, then we’ll go?”

  “Lily, please don’t make me put those shoes back on.”

  Struggling to keep my eyes open, a pang went through my heart when I registered her disappointed face. She wasn’t demanding like Chloe could be when she wanted something, so it made me feel extra guilty.