Bearly Shifted: (A Howls Romance) BBW Paranormal Shapeshifter Romance (Mates of Bear Paw River Book 1)

by Everleigh Clark

  “Were you listening to a word I said?” Zach’s eyebrows did that thing where one rose, and the other remained still.

  “Yeah.” She kicked a stone into the woods. “But then, I started thinking of ice cream. And I didn’t get enough to eat. Bears need a lot more food to keep going.”

  His lips curved up, and his eyes twinkled. “I’ll feed you properly after we get our shift done. Just try it a few times and see what happens.”

  “Okay. Explain the barely shifted thing again, please.”

  “In your case, I would call it b-e-a-r-l-y shifted. Your bear’s need to run free isn’t the same as your need for ice cream.”

  “But I need ice cream.” She didn’t like the high-pitched whine that left her mouth.

  He laughed, and finger flicked her forehead. “You need oxygen to breathe. You need water to hydrate. You need food to give you energy. You need to sleep to regenerate your powers and heal your body.”

  “Yeah, I think ice cream should be in there somewhere.” She shook her head and grinned. “Okay, okay, ice cream isn’t necessarily a life or death thing—unless you take my last pint.”

  “Duly noted.” He smiled and sat down to lounge in the lush grass. “Does your bear get overwhelmed by being around a lot of people or in large buildings with no windows? Does she feel better when she can at least see the mountains?”

  Nissa nodded. “My bear loved it here. This exact spot actually.” She lay on her back to look at the clouds overhead. “When I was younger, I would stay out here and bask in the sun, feeling the warmth of the golden rays seep through my skin and into my soul. It sounds stupid.”

  “No, it doesn’t. Keep going.”

  “When I got too warm, I would shift into my bear and run through the woods as fast as I could go. My feet felt like they never touched the ground. I was light and free, like I was part of the wind that blew around me. The breeze cooled my thick fur as I ran. I had the coolest trail that ran between the trees and boulders, and it was only mine. It took me down to the bank of the pond where, without even looking, I would just barrel into the water. It wasn’t much of a drop, just a few feet. If you tried to do that from up here, you’d probably break a leg or something. The water was always cold and would clear my thoughts and refresh me. My whole body. My bear. Everything that made me, me. It was renewed in that one afternoon.”

  “Why’d you stop doing those runs?”

  Tears sprung to her eyes, and she angrily rubbed them away. “You think I abused my bear by cooping her up. That I’m a horrible person.”

  “No. I don’t.” His firm lips grazed her forehead, and the spot he had just kissed heated. “I just want to help you find your bear again. She’s obviously still in there, waiting for you.”

  “I’m afraid to lose my human side.”

  “As in going feral?” He cocked an eyebrow and lay down next to her on his side.

  “Well, that too. But mostly, I just remember the men in our clan, my father and uncle. They weren’t feral, but they allowed their animal sides to rule them and tore our clan apart. I guess I am afraid that’s going to happen to me.” She shrugged and sat up. “I’m afraid of my bear, of letting her loose and then losing control.”

  “Your Alpha, your brother, doesn’t seem the sort to let you get hurt that way. Don’t you think he could help you if you needed it?”

  She nodded again and wiped her nose on her shirt. Not her classiest moment, but it was probably better than having snot running down her face in front of the guy that might possibly be her mate.

  Mates don’t mind a bit of snot, dork.

  Nissa didn’t have the energy to reply with a sarcastic retort, so she let that one slide. “I didn’t mean to hurt my bear or myself. I just wanted a break. I was scared.” When the tears started falling harder, Zach pulled her into his chest, letting her sob freely.

  He smelled wonderful. His woodsy, musky scent combined with the saltiness of her tears, and she settled fully into their embrace. This was the closest she had ever gotten to the release she used to get in the woods, and she embraced it as if it were her only lifeline.

  She took one, last, hiccupping sob and pulled her cheek from the warmth of his chest. “Thanks. Sorry about that.” She rubbed her eyes. She probably looked like hell, but she didn’t care. It felt like some of the fuzz was clearing and she could think again. It was like watching the first five minutes of a 3D movie without the special glasses, then putting them on to see everything come into focus.

  Zach was in focus. The perfect lines around his eyes, laugh lines. The perfect scar on his forehead. His perfect blue eyes, shimmering like the pond that used to bring her peace. His perfect mouth with firm lips that she wanted to kiss to again…

  “Come on, little bear.” Zach stood and helped her to her feet. “Are you ready to try again? Try to get from bearly shifted to full bear?”

  “Okay. But I’ll warn you. I tried three more times last night and twice this morning. She wants to come but isn’t following through.”

  “Let’s see if we can give her a push.” He smiled, took her hand, and led her to the edge of the woods.

  Okay, it was time to get nekked again. All the times she had done this before had been in front of her family or the rest of the clan, and it had never been a big deal. But standing in front of Zach, with his perfectly chiseled body and kind eyes that no amount of bad boy looks could hide, she felt for the first time, inadequate.

  He was already naked and waiting patiently for her to shimmy out of her clothes. She looked down at her wide hips and soft belly. She’d lost a good bit of her curves during her time in the city this past year, trying to please Asshole and her skinny roommate. What would Zach think if he ever saw how much bigger her tummy was at its normal size? How much wider her hips would be? And, oh Lord, her ass.

  Dammit, she was a bear. She was supposed to be bigger than the average human woman, even the average shifter. Zach would be better off with a sleek, gorgeous wolf with firm, small boobs and a tiny waist. Not a waist that loved fudge ripples and peanut butter. She squinted her eyes for a moment and thought about escaping before Zach could see her nude form. She accepted her body. She loved her curves and wouldn’t mind getting those extra pounds back. They made her Nissa. But she couldn’t stand the thought of Zach’s eyes turning cold with revulsion when he fully took in her form. Wolves were sexy and strong and muscular. Not bulky and wide like her and her family. If he shunned her, her already aching heart would break into a million pieces. Damn, she was a fragile girl, wasn’t she? All because of Asshole.

  Well, she wasn’t going to take this anymore. If Zach wanted to be an asshole about her curves, then it was his loss. Yeah, she would cry once he left. But she wouldn’t let him see how much he hurt her. She flung off her top and unclasped her bra, letting her breasts free. Then she quickly shoved off her pants and panties with a growl. “For the record, I am just doing this so you can help me get my bear out. I don’t give a shit what you think of my body. I know I’m not like the women you are used to, but it doesn’t matter to me. You can just take a flying—”

  His lips crushed down on hers, silencing her. He stole her breath as he savagely attacked her mouth, darting his tongue in and out, claiming her fully.

  She moaned and pressed herself against the hard lines of his body, reveling in the heat that built between them.

  He pulled his mouth away from hers, and his eyes flashed dark and gold as he gripped her ponytail tightly in his fist, not allowing her to move except to try to catch her breath. “If you’d shut up, I could tell you what I think of your gorgeous body, little bear.” He pulled her ponytail harder, tilting her chin up, so she had to meet his heated gaze. “Except for needing to gain a few pounds, you’re perfect. I love the softness of your belly.” His fingers scorched their way along a trail down her tummy. “Your hips are big enough to handle me pounding into you with all my strength without having to worry about hurting you.” He gripped her hips hard, hard enoug
h to leave bruises. “God, don’t get me started on your full, firm, exquisite breasts, or we might never get to shifting. I’d take your nipples in my mouth and feast on them.” His eyes flashed with desire. “I ache for you. Your perfect body calls to me.”

  She shuddered as the heat built throughout her entire body.

  “Now, are we going to get started with this shift, or am I fucking you senseless on the forest floor?” He growled and pressed himself against her.

  God, he wasn’t kidding about being attracted to her. His thick cock pressed against her belly and she thought she might fall. Luckily, he held her up.

  She took a shaky breath and nodded at him. “Dammit, let’s shift.”

  Chapter Five

  His woman was gorgeous. She stood there with her chin high and her shoulders so tense they must ache. Zach followed the curve of her luscious form up to her beautiful, mismatched eyes, reveling in every part of her, except the fear. She wasn’t afraid of him, she was afraid of the shift.

  Zach’s wolf whined at him to comfort his mate. Rip out their throats. His wolf growled, wanting to single-handedly take down everyone who had ever hurt her. Zach agreed. This beautiful woman should have been covered in soft, black fur and ambling through the woods already. Instead, she stood naked with apprehension in her eyes. Nissa was a shell of what she once was because of the two men who should have protected her above all else.

  He loved this woman. But he wouldn’t spook her by telling her yet. First, he needed to see if he could give her a little push.

  “Come on, little bear. You can do this.” He coaxed gently and took her by the shoulders, turning her back to him. “Just relax and close your eyes.” He rubbed and massaged her tight shoulders and neck. “Listen to the wind rippling through the branches. Where’s it coming from? Where is it going?”

  Zach could tell the moment she smiled. It was right when her tense shoulders dropped and a large whoosh of breath released from her.

  “Okay, I’ll play your game. It’s cold, with an icy nip to it, since it came from the top of the mountain. It weaved through the woods and is frolicking its way down to the pond, where it will cause ripples in the water.”

  “Very good.” He gave her shoulders one last firm squeeze before releasing her. “Keep your eyes closed.”

  She shrugged and gave a quick snort, but stayed put.

  “Tell me what you smell?”

  “Besides Dog Breath?” she asked.

  He smacked her ass, and she yelped before laughing and rubbing the red blotch. “Okay, we skipped straight to feel, huh?” She wiggled her perfect, round cheeks. “For the record, I did hear that also.”

  “What’d it sound like?”

  “Hot.” She leaned back against him, scorching his skin with her heat. “Seriously, freaking hot. So are we going back to scents?”

  “Yeah.” His voice deepened with lust as he ran his hands up and down her creamy hips. “I can smell your arousal, and my wolf is going crazy for it.”

  She shuddered in his grip.

  “I want nothing more than to lay you back, spread your legs as wide as they can go, and lick up every ounce of honey running down your thighs.”

  “Sweet talking the bear, huh?” She rubbed her ass against his cock. “I thought we were trying to get me shifted, not sexed.” She continued her amazing little grinding action, and he groaned as he pulled away from her.

  “Huge emotions like arousal, fear, anger and love help trigger the animal’s release. I was hoping a little foreplay might help you loosen up and shift, but all this is doing is frustrating me. Shit, I might die from blue balls by the time you finally shift.”

  “Let me guess. You’re going to call me fat, and try to get me to angry shift?” She turned and cocked an amused grin at him.

  “Do you want me to turn you over my knee and wallop your ass, little girl?”

  She laughed. “Only if you want me lying down on my back, legs spread accepting all that honey talk you mentioned.”

  “You’re killing me.” He groaned and bit his inner cheek.

  “Come on; let’s get this over with, so we can celebrate by making out.”

  “I don’t make out, little girl. I fuck. Hard.”

  “Okay, sex with no strings attached sounds good too. I’ve been horny for weeks.” She scrunched up her face and took a few deep breaths. “I see my bear. She’s so pretty. I miss her.”

  “Keep going.”

  “She’s willing to accept the shift. It’s like her arms are open wide, calling me into a nice, big hug.” She laughed. “A bear hug. That’s funny.”

  “What’s stopping you from moving forward?”

  Nissa opened her eyes, unshed tears swimming in the depths of her haunted gaze. “I don’t know. She’s close, like I can almost touch her, and her warmth feels amazing. But I can’t shift.”

  “You’re going to be all right. I promise you.”

  “How can you know that? How can you know for sure I’m not going to go all dark-side and start killing off helpless cubs or other bears who threaten my position in my tiny pack?”

  Zach pulled her into his arms and held her tight. “Not only is that not going to happen. But I wouldn’t let it. Because that would hurt you. And I won’t let anyone harm you. Not even you!”

  She nodded and gently pulled out of his arms. “I have your word?”

  “You have me.”

  “Well, let’s not go overboard, but thanks. Help with my shifting and some casual sex is about all I want right now. Can you handle that?”

  “Absolutely.” Not a fucking chance in hell. One taste of her would be his downfall. He ought to stop this right now before it went any further. But every fiber within him was primed to help her overcome her demons. To put that smile back on her sweet face, and remove the dark pain from her eyes. He’d do whatever it took, even if it meant hurting himself. His heart was the first casualty. He had lost that during their first meeting, in this exact spot, yesterday. “You can do this.” Her eyes widened at the gruffness of his voice, so he softened his tone. “Just relax, and let it build up within you.”

  He backed up another pace and looked beyond her toward the mountain peaks to the west. “Let the warmth fill you, heat you, nourish you. Know that the Mother Goddess doesn’t bestow a gift this wonderful for evil. She gives it with love. Your spirit animal is excited at the prospect of reuniting with your soul, fully. Let the heat gradually build in the very core of your being. Do you feel that?”

  She nodded.

  “Let it fill your body. Let it loop through every twist and turn, every cell, every muscle, every bone—all of you. Just like weaving through the trees on the trail to your favorite spot. Your special gift is preparing your body for the change. Accept the beauty; accept it without question. Just let yourself be. You. Your bear. Your gift merged and gratefully accepted from the Mother Goddess.”

  He turned when he heard the whoosh of air. The shimmering light surrounded the gorgeous black bear standing on four paws in front of him. His mate in her most perfect, most natural form. She was glorious. “Good girl. Go find your trail. I’ll be right behind you.”

  He shifted into his wolf and watched with pride as his gorgeous mate bounded on all fours through the forest, zigging and zagging between the trees. She was perfection. He let out a playful yip and tore after her.

  Chapter Six

  It was as wonderful as she remembered. Trees and bushes seemed to blur as she sprinted down the trail. The birds chirped a joyous song that harmonized with the melody in her heart. She was totally free. Tendrils of golden sunlight shimmered between the leaves overhead, and her body heated with each warm kiss. Squirrels stopped their play long enough to throw a few acorns at her, angered by her appearance. But not afraid. They knew she and her bear belonged here, in the home she had missed for far too long. She would never shut her bear away again. Her poor bear must have been in agony.

  She chuffed when the sleek, gray form bounded past her, taki
ng the lead with a joyful howl. Zach’s wolf obviously loved this game of chase as much as her bear. She ached to sprint after him and tackle him to the ground like she had at their first meeting. To roll and nip and play. To truly let go of all her fears and accept the mating call.

  Nissa stopped and sat down to lean against a large oak tree, her mind suddenly whirling out of control with what-ifs. Being in bear form was glorious, like all her memories resurfacing. All the times she had bounded through these woods on all fours without a care in the world. But that kind of frivolity led to irresponsibility, to animal behavior. With no human side to remind her of right and wrong, she could very easily embrace the behavior that killed her father and uncle.

  She blinked her eyes shut, trying desperately to hold onto her form, but when she opened them her fur was gone. She was once again filling out the human body she wore every day, and her heart ached with the sudden loss.

  Zach trotted over and gave her a light nudge on her hip before shifting back, and then sat next to her. “Hey, it’s okay. You did great. Just keep practicing, and she’ll stay longer each time.”

  But did Nissa want her bear to stay longer each time? Wasn’t that her biggest fear? She shivered until Zach reached to pull her against his heated chest. She couldn’t tell who was more disappointed. Her or her bear. Nissa couldn’t handle the heavy heart and ache coming from both sides of her, so she did the only thing that felt right.

  Grabbing Zach’s face, she kissed him hard and climbed onto his lap. “Make me forget about my bear for a while. Please?”