“How do you know all that?” he asked.
She flinched. “I…don’t. I just. It’s common sense.”
His mouth did a little tilt on the one side. “Yeah. I was so busy chasing the wrong things that I forgot what really matters. Being back here makes me regret a lot of the choices I made,” he said.
“We can’t go back and change the past, as much as we might want to. If you keep thinking about it, what you could have done differently, how things might have turned out if you only made different decisions, you’ll ruin where you are right now. You’ll miss out on the joy right in front of you.” She stopped speaking abruptly, her cheeks feeling like they were on fire because she realized she’d made it sound like she was the joy standing right in front of him. “I mean, like, things. You know, Bella. Bella,” she said, stammering.
He gave a sharp nod and then moved across the kitchen. The man actually had to physically remove himself from her vicinity because he didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. Oh, he’d discovered her sad crush and didn’t want to lead her on. It would have been noble if it didn’t involve herself being the object of his pity.
“Addie, look what I found! It’s Daddy’s old stocking!”
They both turned to look at Bella, who was standing in the doorway holding up an old, handmade felt stocking with Drew’s name stitched across the front in red. “Wow, I forgot about that,” Drew said, a half smile on the corner of his mouth as he walked over.
Bella held it out for him. “Be careful, Daddy. It looks really old.”
He chuckled, gently taking the needlepoint stocking. “I remember your grandma working on this for months at night. I begged her to let me cut out my name in felt letters,” he said, the smile and the nostalgia in his voice making tears prick the back of her eyes.
“She must not have liked you making these sloppy letters,” Bella said earnestly.
Drew kept smiling. “She was too nice to say it, though. She did try to discourage me, but I was pretty stubborn, and I begged and begged. When she finally said yes, I tried cutting perfectly shaped letters for hours, and I kind of knew that I was going to ruin the stocking. I left the letters all over my floor, knowing there was no way I’d attach them. The next morning, my stocking was hung on the mantel, with my felt letters glued on. My mom said I should be as proud of all my hard work as she was.”
Addie surreptitiously swiped away the tears from the corner of her eyes. Her mother would have never done that. God forbid something or someone was less than perfect in her house. God forbid her mother ever notice that sometimes the best things weren’t in perfect packages.
“I wish Grammy and Grandpa were still here, Daddy,” she whispered, looking up at Drew with tears in her big eyes. Addie suddenly felt like she shouldn’t be here, intruding on this family moment.
Drew crouched down and grasped his daughter by the shoulders. “Me too. I do know that they would have been as proud as I am about the little girl you are. You’ve had so much change to deal with this last year, Bella, and you are handling it all so well. And I’m happy that I have you by my side every day,” he said, pulling her into a hug. Addie tried not to sob loudly and tiptoed to the box of Kleenex on the side table. She had never felt like this before. She wanted to be with Drew; she was falling in love with Drew and his little girl. They were everything she had ever wanted in a family…except for the fact that they were off limits.
Chapter Seven
Drew didn’t want to look over at Addie, especially when he heard sniffles. He was embarrassed that he’d revealed so much about himself today. But he wouldn’t take any of it back. “I’m so happy you didn’t leave me, Daddy,” she whispered in his ear. He closed his eyes and held on tight.
“Never, ever,” he whispered hoarsely. When she pulled back, he looked in Addie’s direction, but she wasn’t there.
“Okay, Bella. How about we have some of the lunch Addie was nice enough to pick up?”
Bella nodded. “Yes, I’m starving!”
He walked toward the kitchen, and Addie came out with the takeout soup in bowls, her eyes shiny, indicating she’d heard almost everything. But neither of them said anything, and Bella took over the conversation. She didn’t even complain about the vegetables in the soup that were touching noodles. They sat around the table eating together…like a family. They had rarely even done this with Jill, and yet now he and Bella ate most of their meals together. Addie fit in with them as though they’d been doing this for years. She spoke with Bella and listened and laughed at his daughter’s antics along with him. When Bella spilled half her soup, Addie had immediately helped her while he’d cleaned the mess on the table.
“Daddy, what about the ancient Christmas star you said you had?” Bella asked when she finished her soup.
Addie looked at him questioningly.
“My mother hand-beaded a wired star for the top of our tree. I’d forgotten about it until we were shopping today.”
“That sounds very special,” she said, smiling softly at him. Addie seemed to appreciate all this stuff, all the stuff he’d dismissed for so long. These objects, this house, the memories it held were things he’d pushed aside, had deemed insignificant in his adult life.
He’d never talked to Jill much about his parents; he didn’t really know why. Or maybe he never thought about why until now. Part of why he’d stayed with Jill for so long was that she’d never demanded anything from him emotionally. She had no use for his parents, for his past, because none of it was important. When he’d lost them…he’d almost pretended it hadn’t happened. After coming back and having their house packed up, deciding on a few things to keep in the basement, he’d almost closed that chapter on his life. He’d flown back to the city and cut the cord with his other life. But now, standing with Bella, who was looking as though she was desperately clinging to the idea of knowing her heritage, he realized how wrong he’d been. What was wrong with him? How had he gotten his priorities so messed up? “It was, if I remember correctly. Sure, Bella. I’ll see if I can find it.”
“Come with us, Addie. The basement is spooky.”
He glanced over at Addie, who was looking slightly uncomfortable. She tucked a piece of brown hair behind her ears, and he clenched his hands in his pockets, the unfamiliar urge to reach out and touch her catching him by surprise. Well, maybe not surprise, but still, it wasn’t a convenient emotion. “Oh, um, that’s okay, sweetie. You go ahead with your dad. I’ll just stay here and continue the decorating.”
Bella put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes. “Addie, I think you’re afraid of spooky basements.”
“Bella…” he warned, watching as Addie’s cheeks grew warm. Was his daughter more perceptive than he was?
“I love spooky basements. I mean, the spookier the better,” Addie said with a smile that clearly didn’t reach her eyes as she followed them down the hall.
“Great. Let’s go! Daddy goes first. I go second. Addie, you’ll be safe if you’re last. If something was going to get us, it’ll get Daddy first.”
“It’s great to know you find me so expendable, Bella,” he said, flicking on the light to the basement and trying not to laugh.
“That doesn’t make sense. You can’t expand,” she said, giving him a push down the narrow wooden stairs.
“Can you not try to kill me, please?”
He heard Addie’s muffled laughter, and the three of them descended the staircase slowly. “Do you think there’s rats and mice?” Bella said with excitement. He had no idea his daughter loved rodents.
He heard an odd noise from Addie but couldn’t turn around because the stairs were narrow and steep. The single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling cast only a dim glow in the entryway of the basement, leaving the rest almost completely dark. “There shouldn’t be. There’s no food or anything, and I think there might be some traps out.”
“Oh, so there’ll be dead mice?”
He was standing at the foot of the stairs, and he saw
Addie pause when Bella mentioned dead mice.
“Come on, Addie, hurry. I can’t wait to find the star!”
Addie gave a wobbly smile. “Sure thing, can’t wait.”
The damp, musty smell of the old basement was exactly as he remembered. He would help his father haul the boxes up every Christmas and then down again every January. His father would always warn him not to tell his mother when they found a mouse in a trap. She would proudly declare how even though they lived in the country, they’d never had a mouse in the house and that it must be due to her excellent housekeeping skills. He smiled, picturing his father’s sparkling eyes across the dinner table when his mother would bring that up.
“Daddy, do you know where the boxes are? I can barely see down here!”
“I think we should have brought a flashlight,” he said, walking deeper into the basement.
“I’ll go get one!” she said, just as the one lightbulb flickered and then died.
“Oh, maybe I can go,” Addie said, her voice sounding strangled.
“No, you’ll never find it because Daddy is disorganized and I took all the flashlights for a party I was having with my animals last week.”
“Great,” Drew said as his daughter ran up the stairs.
“Drew?” Addie said, her voice making him turn around. She sounded…nervous.
“Yeah. Are you okay?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I’m fine I guess. Except for the fact that I’m in a basement that’s filled with rodents, and I hate creepy dark places,” she whispered, the nervousness sounding closer to panic.
“Okay, hold on,” he said, turning in the direction of her voice. It really was pitch black down here. He swore as he bumped into a box. “Where are you?”
“Omigosh,” she hissed, “I think something just crawled over my foot.”
“Are you afraid of mice?”
He jumped as he felt hands grab clumps of his sweater.
“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she whispered.
“You didn’t scare me. I just didn’t expect to be grabbed in the dark.”
“I wasn’t grabbing you.”
“You did,” he said, turning around. He didn’t want to add that he didn’t mind being grabbed by her, but that would be crossing the line. And he didn’t want a woman in his life again; it wouldn’t be fair to Bella. He turned around, and his body brushed against soft curves that sent a jolt of unwanted awareness through his body. Hell. Addie didn’t pull back. Instead, she clutched his arms, her nails digging into his biceps. “Something furry just ran across my feet.”
“I don’t think so,” he said, trying not to laugh.
“Listen, I’m trying really hard to keep it together, but it’s dark and dingy, and I swear if those lights come on and I see something furry with a long tail and pointy ears anywhere down here, I’m going to lose my cool, and I’m going to look like an idiot.”
“You’re afraid of mice?”
“Mice, rats, bats, spiders if they are larger than a dime.”
“Well, why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t want Bella to know I had this hang up, and I didn’t want her to think that all women are like me. I also didn’t want her to think there was some validity to my fear. It’s irrational, but you know, girl power and all that stuff? Yeah, I sacrificed my sanity for my new little friend.”
He was torn between laughing and being touched. She had filtered her own thoughts and had braved a fear out of concern for his daughter. He didn’t want to compare her to Jill, because it wasn’t fair, but Jill had never filtered her hang-ups. She’d imposed them on their daughter, and he was now going to have to spend years trying to undo the damage. “I won’t spill your secret,” he said, very aware of her hands on his body and how good it felt.
“That’s great, but what are you going to do about the rodent situation?”
“Right.” Maybe he wasn’t in a hurry to have Addie take her hands off of him. He liked having her close; he liked the subtle scent of flowers. “I’m pretty sure there isn’t anything down here.”
“I have a light, I have a flashlight!”
Addie let out a sigh of relief, and her hands dropped from his arms. She didn’t move away from him, though.
A light beamed directly in his eyes, and he squinted. “Bella, keep the light on the floor and not in my eyes, please,” he said.
“Sure, sorry, Daddy,” she said, pointing the flashlight to the ground. He quickly scanned the ground, looking for any signs of furry creatures.
“Look! A dead mouse!” Bella squealed with excitement. “We can perform a blopsy!”
“A what?” He stood in front of Addie to block her from the view of the mouse.
“You know, to find out the cause of death.”
An autopsy. Hell, where did she get this stuff? It was impressive. This opened up many conversation possibilities for them. “You mean autopsy, sweetheart. But we really don’t want to do that right now. Besides, we know he died because he got stuck in the trap.”
He heard what sounded like a muffled scream and turned toward Addie, whose eyes were shut and her hands were covering her mouth. “How about Addie goes upstairs and we deal with…this situation?”
“Sure, sounds good,” Addie croaked.
“Are you sure you don’t want to help, Addie?” Bella said.
“I’m actually really thirsty. I think I need a drink,” she said, shielding her eyes as she walked by them.
“Wine is on the counter. Don’t look left.”
“Thanks,” she said, storming up the stairs.
Once he and Bella retrieved the star, dealt with the mouse, and washed their hands, they joined Addie in the kitchen. She was looking much calmer and sipping a glass of wine.
He was about to pour himself a glass when his phone rang with the custom hospital ring. Crap. He didn’t mind being on call and having to drop everything to get to the hospital, but tonight…he’d been enjoying his time so much. He had also hoped to have some time alone with Addie, not that it could go anywhere, but he couldn’t deny his need to get to know her better.
“That’s Daddy’s work ring. It means he’s going to leave,” Bella said. He answered it while noticing that she didn’t look all that bothered. Sure enough, he was needed at the hospital.
He looked over at Addie. “I hate to do this, but I’m on call this weekend, and I’m needed.”
“No problem. It’s perfect timing because I’m already here, and Bella and I have a ton of stuff to do anyway,” she said, shooting his daughter a smile.
“Yes! Movies, Christmas carols, more decorations, stockings,” she said, running out of the room—presumably to get the supplies for everything she’d mentioned.
He was getting on his jacket and boots. “Looks like we’re in for a storm.”
Addie’s gaze went from his to the window, a slight frown appearing in her forehead. “Well, drive carefully. You know how bad it can get out there.”
He paused for a moment, the genuine concern in her voice making him feel all the things he didn’t want to feel. She hadn’t even batted an eye when he’d said he’d have to go into the hospital. He cleared his throat. “I don’t know what time I’ll be back…”
She held up her hand and smiled. “Don’t even think twice about it. We will be fine.”
He gave her a nod just as Bella came barreling out of her bedroom. It occurred to him that back in the city he’d never seen her so animated; she’d always been calm. Here, it was as though every sentence out of her mouth ended with an exclamation point, and she only ran instead of walking. It was like she was an entirely different child. Bella put her hands on his back and pushed him toward the door. “You go. We’ll be fine,” she said, blowing him a kiss when he turned around.
He laughed and bent down to give her a real hug, the gesture so natural when it hadn’t been a mere year ago. “All right. I’ll see you tonight. Be good for Addie.”
She nodded, and Addie walke
d over to stand behind her, placing her hands on her shoulders. “This place will be all decorated by the time you get back, Drew.”
“Well, no pressure. If you just want to relax and watch a movie, that’s fine.”
“We’re going to do both, I think.”
Bella jumped up and down again. “Bye, Daddy!”
He smiled on his way to the car, the cold wind and snow not bothering him a bit. Something was happening to him. It wasn’t just Christmas, it wasn’t just Isabella, it wasn’t just being back home…it was all of it, and Addie. He loved work, but he was looking forward to coming back home to both of them tonight.
…
Addie closed the Christmas book she’d finished reading Isabella. “Well, I had a great day. How about you?”
Isabella nodded, smiling. “It was awesome. I’ve never seen Daddy so happy.”
Her heart leaped, and she struggled with what to say next. It’s not like she would ever stoop to trying to get information from a child, but it was kind of a curious statement. Surely, Drew had been happy before. Maybe she was referring to the end of her parents’ marriage. Things must have been so hard on the little girl. “He was happy. That’s one of the reasons I like Christmas so much. Everyone is in a great mood and thinking about helping others.”
Isabella nodded. “I don’t know what I should get him for Christmas.”
Addie sighed and leaned against the headboard beside Isabella. “It’s always tough, trying to figure out what to give the people closest to us, isn’t it? I think you should make him something. Parents really love it when their kids put time and effort into making them something special. It would beat a store-bought gift any day.”
Isabella nodded, tapping her finger against her chin. She was so cute that Addie had to smile at the mature gesture. “I wouldn’t know what to make.”
A Christmas Miracle for the Doctor Page 8
