“What about a picture?”
She shrugged. “That’s boring. I can do that any old day.”
“Okay, well, how about on Monday after school when you come by, we think of something? We can look up different Christmas craft ideas for kids, and then we can work on it after school until you’re done.”
Isabella’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Really, Addie?”
“Of course. We’ll have fun. Then Tuesday we can go to the outdoor rink and practice our routine. You have, what, two weeks left before Christmas break? We can totally get it done. I’ll get the supplies for you, and we’ll get to work.”
Isabella squealed and hugged her. “You’re the best, Addie. I’m so happy I know you. At first, I was really scared about coming here, but I knew it’s where Daddy grew up, and now it’s turning out to be amazing. I know you, and now I get to spend way more time with Daddy than I ever used to. Before, I hardly saw him,” she whispered.
Addie’s heart squeezed. “I know surgeons work long hours because they have really important jobs.”
“Yeah, but that wasn’t it. I never saw him or my mom because I spent all my time with my nanny. But here, I see Daddy all the time. It’s like all of a sudden he thought I was important.”
Tears pricked the back of her eyes, and she realized how significant what Isabella was telling her was and how little she really knew of Drew. The conversation was getting very personal, and Isabella was trusting her with information she wasn’t even aware the little girl knew was so revealing. “Oh, Isabella, your dad and mom always think you’re important.”
Isabella shrugged. “Well, I don’t know Addie. I don’t think so. I think my daddy only thought I was important when Mommy said she didn’t want me anymore.”
Addie stopped breathing. Do not cry. Do not cry. She didn’t know the details, and she shouldn’t be re-writing a history that she didn’t know, but how awful that this little girl was thinking her mother didn’t want her and the only reason Drew did was because there was no one left. “Sweetie, I don’t know your mom, but I’m sure she loves you very much, and I’m sure she misses you and does the best she can.”
Isabella shrugged. “I guess. But all’s I know is that ever since moving to Shadow Creek, I got the best family I ever had, and I’m so glad you’re part of it.”
Addie hugged the little girl close, wishing thousands of wonderful things for her, wishing that this truly was the beginning of a new life for Isabella and Drew. “I’m so happy I met you, Bella.”
She stood slowly, and Bella snuggled her favorite bear and smiled at her. “You’re going to stay here until Daddy gets back, right?”
She stood in the doorway, resting her hands on the doorjamb. “Of course I’m staying here. I’ll probably do some clean up and then watch TV until your dad gets home.”
Isabella smiled sleepily. “I’m so glad I don’t have a nanny anymore. Now it’s just you and Daddy. Night, Addie.”
Her throat constricted, and she smiled back. “Night, sweetie. Go dream about Christmas.”
“Best idea ever.”
Addie closed the door, leaving it open a crack, and made her way back to the great room. They hadn’t bothered cleaning up after dinner. She wrapped up some of the leftover stir-fry she’d made in case he hadn’t had time to eat at the hospital. Bella had helped her chop vegetables and had eaten all of them, talking about their nutritional value. It had been impressive. Addie left the plate with plastic wrap on the counter and cleaned up the kitchen quickly and efficiently before moving on to the family room. She sat down on the couch an hour later with a satisfied sigh.
She turned on the television, seeking out a Christmas movie, but her mind wandered to the two people who were starting to mean so much to her. Her heart felt like it was going to burst when she was around Isabella. She felt a connection to the little girl that she couldn’t deny, and she felt a kinship toward her, she understood her loneliness, and she was determined to help her…and her father. She knew Drew wasn’t anything like the men she was used to, and she sensed his pain, she heard it in his voice, she felt it when he spoke to her and then Bella today. She knew there was so much more to him than just the talented, handsome surgeon that he presented to the world. Despite the attraction she felt building between them, she could never get involved with a man who wasn’t willing to try again at happily ever after, no matter how sweet he’d been about the mouse debacle in the basement or how good he’d felt up close.
Chapter Eight
Drew unlocked the door at three o’clock in the morning, exhausted but happy his emergency surgery went well. He also felt guilty he’d left Addie here all night.
He walked in and hung up his coat and noticed the house looked immaculate. The under-cabinet lighting was on, along with the Christmas tree, lending just enough light so he could walk without banging into anything. There was a plate on the counter with what must have been leftovers for him, along with a napkin and fork. He stopped in the middle of the room when he spotted Addie curled up on the couch, looking like the sweetest and most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
He didn’t want to wake her, and yet he wanted her company. He wanted to lie beside her; he wanted her to wake up and smile at him as though this was their normal life. Instead, because he’d made a mess of his life and his daughter’s life, he picked up the neatly folded blanket and placed it over Addie’s body, smiling as she sighed in her sleep.
It took every ounce of self-control to leave the room. He put the food in the fridge, noticing it was stir-fry; he wondered how that went over. He stopped to admire the tree, emotion washing over him as the beauty of it hit him. To others, it may have looked like Christmas exploded with wild, mismatched, and tinsel-laden decorations, but to him it looked like it had been decorated by a daughter who was finally allowed to be the little girl she was meant to be…and by a woman who had shown his daughter more kindness and patience than her own parents.
“Do you like the tree, Daddy?” Bella whispered in a not-too-soft voice. She was standing in the doorway to her room, rubbing her eyes, her candy-cane flannel nightgown making him smile.
“I love it,” he whispered, walking toward her and motioning for her to get back into bed.
He smiled. “It’s looking like Christmas in here,” he said, pointing to the tinsel around her window and bedposts.
She turned to him, beaming. “I asked Addie to help me with my plans for my room decorations, and she agreed she thought it was a good idea.”
More like Bella had convinced Addie and bull-dozed her opinions on tinsel. He pulled back her covers, and she jumped into bed with an energy he found himself envious of. He tucked her nightgown around her and then pulled the covers over her. “Did you have fun with Addie?”
She beamed and nodded. “We had the best time ever. We even rehearsed our skating moves even though we danced them out. Did you know Addie was a figure skater?”
“No, I didn’t,” he said, hanging onto every piece of information about Addie. How sad he’d become that he was now getting information about Addie from his eight year old?
“Well, she was. I want to do figure skating too. Can I?”
“Sure. For now, let’s just worry about getting the basics down.”
“Addie will help me. She’s great. She knows everything. But you know what?”
He leaned forward.
Bella winced. “I think she’s afraid of mice.”
He stifled his smile, not wanting to give away Addie’s secret. “She might not be crazy about them. Feel like a story?” he asked.
“Of course! Addie read me three, but I’ve always got time for one more.”
He smiled and walked over to her bookshelf. He wasn’t surprised she’d read Bella three, one night he’d had to read five and had fallen asleep during the last one. “Anything come to mind?”
“You can pick, but it has to be Christmas.”
“Sure,” he said, skimming the shelf. Most of the books we
re from Addie’s store, and he knew she’d probably read most of them already. “But just one and then it’s back to bed. It’s the middle of the night.”
“Is Addie still here?”
He nodded, trying not to remember the enticing picture Addie made on the sofa. “She is. She’s sleeping, though, so let’s be quiet.”
“Daddy, maybe you can just sit and talk to me.”
He turned around. “Really?”
She nodded.
“Okay,” he said, sitting beside her. “Anything you want to talk about in particular?”
“I like it here,” she said, her eyes on him.
He smiled. “I’m glad, Bella. Hey, how come you ate stir fry tonight?”
She giggled. “I didn’t want Addie to not like me, so I pretended it was my favorite.”
“Did you let the vegetables touch the chicken and the rice?”
She nodded, her big eyes filled with laughter. He tickled her, laughing along with her. “We’d better be quiet. I’m glad you had fun with Addie.”
“I like that this was your house.”
Warmth filled his chest, and he was surprised by the idea that his daughter might be appreciating the security that came from living in a place that was part of her family. Her security was shattered after the divorce and the move, but maybe this had been the right thing all along. “It’s a pretty special place. I’m kind of sad sometimes when I think of how long I stayed away.”
“Do you miss them?” she whispered, her eyes shining.
“My parents?”
She nodded.
He ran his hand down the front of his jeans. “I do. A lot. But I guess I feel close to them here, and that’s nice.”
She reached out to hold his hand. He looked down at her small, pale hand in his, and the lump in his throat grew at that gesture of comfort. “Am I going to see Mommy again?”
“Of course you will. She’s going to plan some dates, and you can go visit her.”
“Maybe she can come here instead.”
He squeezed her hand. He hadn’t told her that Jill was staying in Paris or that she hadn’t even asked to speak to Bella. He didn’t have the heart to tell her. He was hoping Jill would get out of whatever mood she was in and realize she was still a mother. “We’ll see what we can do.”
She frowned, a look of worry shooting across her eyes. “I like being here with you. Just you and me and no nanny.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment because of the emotion reminding him of everything he’d been missing out on. “I like it, too.”
“And I like Addie.”
He cleared his throat. “I like Addie, too.”
“She’s going to help me make a gingerbread house next Sunday if we don’t have plans. She knows how to make anything, Daddy. She said it won’t make me fat, either.”
He stilled. “Pardon?”
She nodded. “Yeah, I asked her because ‘member Mommy would always say not to eat treats because it’ll make you fat and lumpy?”
He ran his hands down his face. It was too late at night for this. He’d naively hoped that Bella would have forgotten all that crap. One of the more disturbing things he’d noticed was that as Jill’s business grew, so did her obsession with appearances. Hours a day were spent either shopping, getting herself groomed, working out, or putting outfits together. She constantly spoke about fashion and weight in the limited time she was around them. He knew enough to know that wasn’t what he wanted for their daughter. He didn’t want her to be raised in an environment that was so focused on appearances that there was nothing left for what really mattered. His biggest regret was losing sight of who he was at his core.
Maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe this town, this home, these people would be his second chance to rebuild their lives. Maybe he could be a real father to Bella.
Jill threw I love yous around like confetti on a wedding day. She said I love you to the concierge when he had a package for her containing her favorite brands. She said I love you to her clients. She said I love you to her BFFs. She even said I love you to her reflection. By the time her I love yous were handed out to him or Bella, they meant nothing.
He didn’t want to tarnish Bella’s image of her mother, but he needed to correct what he felt was work, especially since he was the full-time parent. “What did Addie say?” he asked.
“She said that’s not something kids should really be worried about. She said as long as I eat healthy food and play and do sports, I don’t need to worry about how I look. She said it was important to be healthy and happy and that treats are okay if we don’t eat them all the time.”
God, how was he ever going to stay away from Addie? She was what they both needed in their lives. “I think Addie’s right, don’t you?”
She nodded. He smoothed her hair away from her face as she smiled up at him. “You’re a good daddy.”
He swallowed past the lump in his throat. “You make it easy.”
She beamed at him. “We’re going to be okay, Daddy. I thought I was going to be sad forever, but I’m not because I never knew that leaving would mean that you and I would get to be together every day. I really like all the time you spend with me. I never knew you were so funny. I want to stay with you forever, Daddy.” She sat up and threw herself at him, her arms wrapping around his neck. He held her small body against his tightly and squeezed his eyes shut as moisture filled his eyes. His throat hurt, and he kissed the top of her head, wondering how this could all be happening, how this little girl was capable of loving and forgiving him like this. It couldn’t be this easy, could it? All that had been needed all along was just love?
Some days, he felt like he was really getting the hang of this parenting thing. Those were the nights that made him feel the worst, ironically. Mostly as he was lying in bed alone, thinking back on the little things that Bella did to make him smile or laugh, which inevitably led to him wondering how he ignored her for years. He hadn’t been a father until now. It had taken him eight years to really understand, to really love her. It was unforgivable. He’d justified it by telling himself he was saving lives, but the truth was that he was killing the one life that meant the most to him. Some nights he’d stare at the ceiling and shame would rip into him. He’d been brought up by good people, simple people who knew what mattered most in life. He had thrown away all those old values for wealth and prestige.
If he could go back…if he could go back, he’d fix it so that Bella would have no memory of the man he used to be. If he could go back, he’d tell his parents he was sorry for not thinking they were enough, that there was something else that could have fulfilled him as much as the love of family. If he could go back, he would have opened a bottle of champagne and celebrated and thanked God for the day his sweet daughter was born.
…
Addie laid perfectly still, the glow from the Christmas tree making the hard lines of Drew’s face seem even more perfect, if that were somehow possible. She had just opened her eyes and noticed Drew standing in front of the Christmas tree. Judging by his profile, he was deep in thought, and she wasn’t about to interrupt him.
It was almost four in the morning, and he must have just come home from the hospital. His hair was damp, and he was wearing worn-in jeans and a T-shirt that clung to his broad shoulders. Tears pricked her eyes as he leaned back and stared at the star at the top of the tree. She was discovering he was a man who hid a lot of his heart, of his hurt. She shifted, and he turned around, blinking away moisture from his eyes. “Hi, I hope I didn’t wake you,” he said, his voice deliciously low.
She sat up and shook her head, feeling her hair come loose and tumble around her shoulders. His gaze flickered over her, and her heart fluttered as she saw the spark in his eyes. Was this actually happening? Was the attraction mutual? He sat down beside her, and she almost stopped breathing. This close she could count the few strands of grey at his temples, the fine lines around his eyes. His eyes…they were the deepest shade of green, and th
ey seemed to hold her still. She sat there, anticipating that she was on the brink of a life-changing moment that she probably wasn’t ready for but that she might never be ready for. She felt somewhat comforted by the blanket…as if it could somehow offer her shelter in case this wasn’t what she was hoping for. Had he put the blanket on her when he’d come home? She hoped she hadn’t been drooling.
“Thank you for staying with Bella,” Drew said. His eyes were filled with tenderness, and his mouth had curled up into a hint of a smile that was just enough that she could justify her curling her toes.
“We had a fun time. She’s a really great kid,” she said, trying not to cringe at how breathy her voice sounded. She sat up a little straighter, tucking the blanket around her. She needed to leave. Like, go home. Because right now, her thoughts weren’t on babysitting; they were on him and the fact that the vibe had changed, and she really wanted to say…I don’t know what to do with when you give me all your attention and look at me like…like you want me.
“Thank you. She really loves her time with you. You…you came through for her at a time she really needed a woman in her life to show her affection. I won’t be able to make that up to you,” he said, his gaze dipping to her mouth.
“She makes it easy. I should probably get going,” she said, standing abruptly.
He stood beside her. “Sure. Of course. Are you okay?”
She looked up into his eyes. “I am, but I have to work tomorrow, and it’s crazy early so I’m thinking I might as well use that time to prep some of the activities and sales I have coming up in the next few weeks.”
He took a step back. “Of course. I really didn’t mean to take up your time.”
She waved a hand and walked backward, almost falling over the end table. He reached out to steady the lamp. “I’m fine. Did it stop snowing?” she asked, even though she could see perfectly well that it had.
“Yeah, the side roads haven’t been plowed, so be careful,” he said, taking her coat off the rack and helping her into it. Oh boy, the gesture, coming from him was chivalrous and made her feel cared for. “I cleaned the snow off your car, so you should be good.”
A Christmas Miracle for the Doctor Page 9
