He looked at her sharply, anger on his handsome features.
“I’m joking. As if that would happen. But Melody is here. She’s in the first row with Luke and Gwen and their baby. You should sit with them. Bella and I will come over when our number is done.”
“I’ve been thinking about our situation,” he said gruffly, coming closer to her.
“Addie, it’s time to get our skates on!” Isabella said, running over to her. Suddenly, chaos erupted as kids and their mothers rushed to get ready for the show.
“Go, we’ll be fine,” Addie said, grabbing Isabella’s hand and walking to the bench.
Drew stood there, the look on his face unreadable. “Good luck, girls,” he said, giving them a forced smile. Her heart squeezed as he gave Isabella a wink before walking away.
“Addie, I’m so excited,” Isabella said as Addie tied her laces. “I’m not even too sad that Mommy’s not here. I mean, I wish she was here, and when she texted Daddy today to say she wasn’t coming, I didn’t even cry because I knew you were going to be here.”
Addie took a deep breath. “There’s no place in the world I’d rather be, Bella. Let’s go out there and make your daddy proud.”
Bella nodded and stood. Addie grabbed her little hand, and they walked over, waiting for the show to start, waiting for their routine to begin. She squeezed her hand and looked down at the little girl that had come to mean so much to her and smiled. She felt ready to conquer the ice and her old wounds.
…
Drew smiled at the adorable baby drooling all over his friend’s shoulder as he waited for the show to start. “Here, can you hold her for a second? My phone is going off, and I’m on call this weekend,” Luke said, handing the baby over.
Melody and Gwen had gone to get hot chocolates before the show, and it was just him, Luke, and their baby. Drew stared into the baby girl’s eyes, and emotion clogged his throat. She stared at him with all the trust in the world, with all the self-assurance of a well-loved baby. He struggled with the thoughts and feelings coursing through him, because this little baby made him think of the two girls in his own life, the ones about to take to the ice. He thought of their own struggles in a world that had made them feel less than. He hated himself for his own contribution to that. He’d spend the rest of his life making it up to Isabella. But this little girl in his arms, she had parents who had it together.
“All right, baby, Daddy is back,” Luke said, taking his daughter and making funny faces at her, making it all look so effortless.
“You got this whole dad thing down pat. I gotta admit, I’m impressed.”
Luke shot him a look, and for a second he thought his friend was going to make a cocky remark, but instead he looked at him seriously. “I learned the hard way, man. I lost everything until I realized what was important. I was going to lose everything again until Gwen saved my sorry self. I thought I couldn’t do this. I thought I didn’t deserve fatherhood or Gwen.”
Drew hung on to his words, onto the rare glimpse of this other side of the confident doctor he’d worked alongside for almost a year. “So what happened?”
“I figured out I couldn’t live without Gwen. Even if I didn’t think I deserved her, I knew I couldn’t live without her. I could spend the rest of my life regretting things I’d done in my past or I could spend the rest of my life loving a woman that was too good for me but loved me anyway. Gwen was the road to redemption for me,” Luke said, his voice hoarse.
They both looked away from each other because it was too revealing, too uncomfortable. “Well, I’m happy for you,” he said awkwardly, staring straight ahead, waiting for a glimpse of two women that he knew were too good for him but loved him anyway.
“I’m so glad it hasn’t started yet,” Melody said, coming to sit beside him.
Gwen handed out hot chocolates to all of them, and he managed to say thank you even though he knew he was too riled up to drink anything.
“She’ll be okay, Drew,” Melody whispered.
“I want to find him and hurt him, Mel,” he said.
“Hurt who?” Luke said, looking very interested in the prospect of a fight.
“He’s here. His kid is in the show,” Melody whispered. “I saw Damien standing near the kids bench, talking to Addie.”
He stood up abruptly, people admonishing him for blocking their view as the show started. “I’ve got to go,” he said, shoving his way through the bleachers.
As he approached, he heard the announcer say Addie and Isabella’s names, and he stopped.
Pringles would have to wait. He pulled out his phone, making sure he had a great angle, and proceeded to record the skating event. He wasn’t going to dwell on the fact that this was the first event of his daughter’s that he’d recorded. He wasn’t going to dwell on the guilt that came with that, because the pride and love he felt for Isabella washed it all away…and the love he felt for the woman who was flawlessly skating beside his daughter, holding her hand, despite her own wounds, was more powerful than he could have ever expected.
Bella could barely skate, and the few times she looked like she was going to flip out, Addie’s arms were there, making sure she stayed upright. He zoomed in, and the smile and admiration shining from Bella’s eyes for Addie when she caught her made him realize what his daughter already knew—Addie was part of their family; she had captured their hearts with her love.
He clapped and whistled when their number was done and ran over to meet them. Isabella jumped into his arms, and Addie was smiling like someone who’d just achieved victory.
“You girls were amazing,” he said as Isabella broke free from his arms to hug Addie.
“Addie, this was the best day of my life,” she said, knocking Addie to the ground.
He wasn’t surprised anymore that Isabella said it was the best day of her life. Since coming back to Shadow Creek, since spending time together, since knowing Addie, his daughter had declared dozens best days of her life. Maybe that was the way it should be when you were eight.
Addie stood, holding Isabella’s hand. “I’m going to run to my shop now, because I bet it’s packed in there. I’m sure I’ll see you two later tonight,” she said, smiling at Bella, avoiding his stare.
“Addie, come with us! There’s wagon rides and hot chocolate,” Isabella said, tugging on her hand.
“Well, we can go visit Addie at her store tonight, okay?”
“No, I want Addie to stay with us. Addie, please, don’t go to work. Come on the wagon ride.” Drew frowned at his daughter, not used to her causing a scene. Her voice was raised, and she was bordering on having some kind of tantrum.
He crouched down and tried to reason with her. “Addie has work, just like all grownups. She has to go. We can see her later.”
She snatched her hand from his and turned to Addie. “Please, Addie. Please.”
He put his hand on her shoulder. “Isabella, you’re not being fair.”
“No, you’re not being fair! Mommy was supposed to come here, and she didn’t. I thought Addie was going to spend the whole night with us, and she’s not, either. I’m mad at you, and I want you to leave me alone!” She ran away from him and into the women’s washroom.
“Hell, I’m sorry,” he said to Addie.
Addie didn’t miss a beat, and they were already walking in the direction of the washroom. “Drew, can I go speak to her? Would you mind?”
He shook his head. “Of course not.”
She gave him a nod and walked into the washroom, and he realized she’d just saved him from having to enter a ladies’ washroom. He knew it had been good to be true, Isabella forgiving him for everything. But he had no idea how she’d gotten it into her head that Jill would be coming tonight. It had been wishful thinking that she’d be fine with her mother neglecting her even more than usual, especially at the holidays.
“Hey, man,” a voice said.
Drew looked away from the washroom doors into the direction of the voice. Pringles. Dr
ew stood straighter, narrowing his eyes. “Yeah?”
“I just wanted to know if you were with Addie, because I want to ask her out.”
Drew balled his hands into fists and tried to remain rational. “You’re the guy from high school? The one who humiliated her in front of the whole school?”
He shrugged. “If I’d known she’d turn out to be this hot, I never would have.”
Drew couldn’t stop his fist from making solid contact with Pringles’ face.
“What the hell?” he said, looking up at him from the ground.
“Stay the hell away from Addie,” he said as Pringles stood up, rubbing his jaw and lip. Drew frowned as he spotted blood.
“If the bleeding doesn’t stop after an hour, you should go to the ER for stitches. Ask for Dr. Luke Thomson.”
Pringles gave him a look like he was insane before walking away. Drew shook his fist and flexed his hand. It had been a long time since he’d had to fight anyone. He took a deep breath as Addie and Isabella walked out a few minutes later. It looked as though they’d both been crying.
“Everything okay?” Drew asked, forcing a smile.
Isabella nodded, smiling up at him. “Yes, Daddy. Addie’s going to work now, and we can go see her after.”
He had no idea what had just happened. That was exactly what he’d suggested fifteen minutes ago, and it was met with a tantrum. He looked over at Addie, wanting to be alone with her but knowing there was no way he’d be able to leave Bella tonight. “Addie, thank you.”
She smiled politely. “I’ll see you both later tonight. Have fun, Bella!”
She waved, and he stood there with Isabella’s hand in his, watching her walk away.
Chapter Thirteen
They did the wagon rides, they drank the hot chocolate, they watched the school play, they shopped the stores, they ate gingerbread men.
And he’d had to walk away from Addie one more time.
“Daddy, I’m all ready for bed,” Isabella yelled.
Drew let out a rough sigh and crossed the living room of their house, feeling the emptiness that had really been noticeable lately. Since Addie. He had nothing left in him. He was physically and emotionally exhausted. He had to be at work tomorrow morning, and he had a full day of surgeries. He couldn’t let his mind wander. He smiled at Isabella she stared at him, all tucked into her bed but looking solemn. “You look tired.”
She shrugged. He expected her to smile, but she looked at him with those eyes that seemed to gut him. “I guess. Daddy, do you want to talk to me?”
“Sure. What do you want to talk about?” he asked, sitting on the edge of her bed.
“No, I mean, do you need to tell me something?”
Hell, his eight year old had detected he needed advice? “I’m okay, Bella. Don’t you worry about me.”
She winced, like she really didn’t believe his assessment about himself. “You should maybe try making a wish.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Seriously. That’s what Addie says to do. Christmas wishes.”
He smoothed her hair away from her face, looking into her eyes, the earnestness there, and wished he could make Christmas wishes, that that was the answer. He searched for an answer that wouldn’t crush her spirit. “Sometimes you can’t make wishes for the things you really want because you don’t know how to put them into words.”
She frowned up at him. “You don’t know what you want for Christmas?”
He shook his head. “When I was a kid, it was easy. I wanted things that could be bought. My parents didn’t have a lot of money, so I knew there were certain things I’d never get.”
“Like the train set at the Toy Shop?”
He stilled. “How did you know about that?”
She shrugged, smiling mischievously. “Christmas is magic. I can’t reveal all the magic.”
He let out a short laugh and ruffled her hair. “Okay. Fair enough. I won’t ask more questions.”
“But what about the things you can’t buy? Did you wish for any of those?”
He sensed his daughter knew a heck of a lot more about his romantic life than he’d thought. “I, uh, haven’t thought about those.” He had. He’d thought about Addie every single day. He wasn’t able to sleep without thinking about Addie and how the hell he’d managed to screw things up. He had promised himself not to get involved. Not only did he get involved, he fell in love, like the kind of love his parents had talked about. The kind of love that happened fast and without warning but that you knew was right.
“You should think a little harder, Daddy.”
He cleared his throat. “Pardon?”
She smoothed out the covers around her and raised a little eyebrow, looked at him as though she were the adult. “Think really hard, Daddy. Who is missing?”
“Mommy.”
She clutched the edge of her pink quilt. “Yes, but we already know that. Who is the other person we love that isn’t here?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Addie.”
She nodded slowly. “Why?”
He let out a rough sigh and leaned forward, bracing his forearms on his thighs. “It’s complicated, Bella. Adult stuff. But you still see Addie all the time.”
“Addie looks just as sad as you.”
He looked over at Bella sharply. She nodded wisely. “Bella, Addie will always be our friend. But you and I have to go on and be a family together.”
She reached out to grab his hand, and he looked down at it as he grasped it dearly. How many times this year had she reached for his hand? More than maybe in her whole life. She’d trusted him again this year.
“I thought you loved Addie?”
“Why did you think that?” he asked, shocked his daughter knew all this.
“Because you were always so happy when you saw her. You’d have a funny smile on your face, you’d be extra nice, you’d say funny things. And Addie would have the same look. Every time you came to pick me after work, she’d look all nervous, and most of the time she would brush her hair quickly and look out the window a thousand times to see if you were there. These are all signs people are in love, Daddy,” she said, patting his hand like he was a moron adult she needed to give love advice to. His stomach clenched just thinking about Addie looking out for him. Had they been that obvious? Had he been that transparent?
“Bella, you make me happy too. I know that Mommy and Daddy getting divorced hasn’t been easy for you. It makes me sad you had to go through that. My parents always stayed together, and I never worried about them splitting up. I don’t want to do anything that might hurt you again.”
She sat up abruptly and hugged him from the side. “I love you, Daddy. If we are together, nothing will hurt me again.”
He drew a shaky breath and kissed the top of her head, humbled by her faith in him. They had come a long way in a year. Or maybe she’d always been there, always waiting for him. Maybe it was just him who’d come a long way. “I’ll do my best, sweetie.”
“Maybe you can do that for, Addie. You can marry her and then make sure nothing bad happens to her too.”
He pulled back to look down at her. “Bella…it’s not that simple. I love that you think I can do all these things, but I can’t. I can try. But I can’t…be with Addie because it’s not fair to you. It should just be me and you for a while.”
“But Addie is already part of our family. I love her. You love her. We all love each other, so that makes us a family anyway. And family should be together at Christmas. Last Christmas was the best one I ever had. I just couldn’t tell you that because I didn’t know if it would ever happen again.”
The lump in his throat grew, and the memory of the two of them sitting in his penthouse, eating pizza on the carpet in the living room struck him. How unsure he’d been. How consumed with guilt he’d been. How ill-equipped he’d been to be a father. Somehow, he’d learned. Somehow, he’d given this little girl what she needed. Maybe that was it. Maybe it was that her nee
ds were truly simple, to be loved unconditionally. “That was my best Christmas, Bella,” he said hoarsely.
“Maybe this can be our best Christmas if we ask Addie to be part of it.”
“You love, Addie, don’t you?”
She nodded vigorously. “As much as you love her.”
He smiled. There was no fooling Bella. She was smart and astute, and he loved that. “So you wouldn’t be upset if Addie and I…were together?”
She clapped her hands and let out a squeal. “Marry her! We can live here like a family!”
He knew it wasn’t that simple. As much as his daughter thought it would be, he knew there would be ups and downs. He knew Jill would complicate things. He knew that along the way, Bella would be confused at times. He also knew that one day Addie would want children, and he would want that with her…and that would bring out a new host of issues. But maybe that was what life was all about. Maybe he didn’t need to be perfect. Maybe what he’d been chasing had been all wrong. Maybe he just needed to be the best man he could be and that would be enough for the women in his life. He needed to give them the best of himself. He cleared his throat and shot her a look. “I may have told Addie that I couldn’t do that again.”
Bella inhaled sharply and then threw her hands in the air. “Daddy! Don’t do things like that without asking me first. I can help you.”
He laughed out loud and reached out to hug her. “How did you get so smart?”
She beamed at him. “My daddy is so smart. Now, let’s come up with a plan so you can beg Addie to forgive you. I’ll help you. Don’t worry.”
Addie poured herself a glass of wine, turned on the television, and sat down on her couch for what was probably the first time since Drew had been lying on top of her on her couch. She glared at her Christmas tree and scrolled through the channels until she came upon a Hallmark Christmas movie. She wanted to yell to the heroine that it was all going to end in disaster but thought that yelling out loud by herself to a television was bordering on insanity.
She drank her wine instead. It was Christmas Eve, and Melody was working, and Molly and Ben were spending it with Finn in the hospital. She was fine being by herself. Her mother was off on a cruise after sending a group text to all of them claiming she needed time to figure out where she’d gone wrong in life.
A Christmas Miracle for the Doctor Page 14
