Blown Away

by K'Anne Meinel

  “I think it’s time I grew up and moved on. Enough about the past, my past actually. I’m ready to move on and enjoy myself. God knows I’ve paid my dues.”

  “Which dues are those?”

  “I’ve worked hard since college. I’ve done nothing but work. It’s time I enjoyed the fruits of my labor. Ryan would have wanted that for me. Hell, he always encouraged me to take time off. Now I do.” She had made shopping in antique shops a regular thing and having Rae along had made it even more of a pleasure. She did see the woman in a different light now and while their relationship wasn’t exclusive yet, they hadn’t taken it to a more intimate level; she enjoyed her friendship, something she hadn’t let her be before. Having a friend, one that could potentially be her lover, was a novelty to her and she wasn’t going to ruin it, not this time.

  “Well I’m pleased to see the changes.” Nancy was trying to be fair.

  “I think I’m ready for them. I thank you for your help and listening to me over all this time,” Ellen told her with a finality that made Nancy worry. “I think I won’t be coming here anymore,” she finished, which confirmed the trepidation that had struck Nancy at her tone.

  “Are you sure that’s what you want?” she wasn’t ready to let go, not yet. She enjoyed seeing her for these weekly sessions. They had worked through so much together.

  “Yes, I think it’s time. I didn’t want to come in the first place.” She gave Nancy an apologetic look but she moved on. “I’m both surprised and happy at how much you’ve helped me, but it’s time I think,” she said with absolute conviction.

  This was the confident woman that had entered her office so long ago. Before some of it had been bravado. Now it was part of her that was going to break Nancy’s heart. Well, she could ask her out now if they weren’t patient and doctor. She’d have to wait a bit and she hoped it wasn’t too serious with this Rae. She’d have to run across her at some function. Maybe she too would start antiquing. “Well, you know I will always be here if you feel you need a tune up,” she told her professionally.

  “I know, thank you for all you’ve done,” Ellen said politely and stood up. She offered the doctor her hand and after they shook she took her leave.

  Doctor Nancy Keurig watched her walk out of her office and her life with regrets, but sighed. It wasn’t professional of her to have had these feelings. She must remember that. She had to let her go. Maybe, if fate was in her favor they would meet again.

  CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

  RYAN’S DREAMS

  “Oh Ryan would have loved you,” she told the two people in front of her who had just proposed a movie to her.

  They exchanged a smile and looked at her hopefully. “With the technology that Ryan developed which we saw at the convention, I’m certain your company Animated Studios has exactly what we’re looking for.”

  “Well, what you are proposing, I think we can actually do. We can integrate the live action in a way that our animated art will look natural. It will be like nothing the public has ever seen before,” Ellen mused, imagining it in her head from the storyboards they had presented and wishing she could show it to Ryan. He would have loved it and jumped at the idea. It was why she was inclined to do the project so readily.

  “Then you will look at our proposal and get back to us with a quote?” he asked hopefully.

  “Absolutely,” Ellen promised with a handshake as they handed her the packet. “How soon do you need to know?”

  “Yesterday,” the woman answered with a smile. “Everything in Hollywood is yesterday,” she explained with a self-depreciating little grin. “Hurry up and wait,” she amended looking into the redheads eyes with a bit of interest. There was a little something more there too that Ellen mentally filed but wouldn’t pursue without further investigation. It didn’t pay to date someone you were going to work for. She had learned that the hard way by dating employees once or twice. Ryan had joked with her, but they’d been lucky that they hadn’t been sued.

  “Well, I will look at this soon and you will be hearing from me, I assure you,” she said closing the meeting. They had asked for this meeting shortly after the latest electronics convention where Animated Studios along with Gigitech had both shown off their latest to prospective buyers. After all, it was part of Ellen’s job to continue to expand the company; even after Ryan’s death. She had an obligation to her employees and stockholders as well as the minor partners she had picked up from companies she had bought out.

  “We look forward to hearing from you,” they assured her and left the office. The woman, Sherrie Spotweiler glanced over her shoulder before she closed the door behind her. That look told Ellen a lot.

  “Well, well, well,” Ellen said aloud and then sat down and opened the packet. The proposal they had pitched her sounded so much better than the dry words on the paper she was reading. It did however serve to emphasize their much more animated and broad proposal that they had verbally presented. She laughed at the little cartoon characters they had drawn for the proposal. Ryan and his comic books would have loved this.

  Pressing a button on her intercom she waited for someone to answer it.

  “Yes boss?” she heard a voice come through the line.

  “Hey, can you assemble the best of the best and meet me in the conference room?” she asked. She wanted them on this right away. This was exactly the kind of project Ryan had loved and wanted Animated Studios to head into. Not just cartoons, but real movies that had special effects. They could really enjoy this kind of work. The computer generated graphics or CG that they would be able to embrace would make it a reality, the visual effects would be stunning and very, very real.

  In the conference room they spent hours going over the packet and shooting out ideas and throwing them around. By the time Ellen finally brought the impromptu meeting to a close, everyone was excited about the ideas. They were working feverishly to pencil in the proposal and to incorporate their own ideas into it.

  “Okay, we are agreed, you will have some working numbers to me by the end of the week?” she asked with a smile. She knew that creative minds such as these needed to expand their horizons and the work they had been doing, while enjoyable, didn’t excite them the way that a project of this magnitude might. Their eyes sparkled, their brains snapped, and they were all amped up. Ellen knew that her normal Ice Princess personality would never work with these employees. It was why she was such a study in contrasts, and why they were so successful with the employees they hired. She let them use her company to let their skills expand and she used their skills to expand the company.

  CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

  FRUSTRATED

  Rae was a little annoyed. She wasn’t sure where her relationship with Ellen was going. She knew they were dating but Ellen made no attempt to make love to her and as they had enjoyed a healthy sex life the last time they dated, she had to wonder if they were only fated to be friends. Ellen would kiss her, chastely, respectfully, but any attempts to deepen them had the redhead withdrawing.

  She enjoyed their dates though. Ellen was much more adventurous now. They went out more, on hikes, on forays into places that would result in a trip to an antique store, to even a historical monument. It was much different than clubbing or eating out which they would have done in the past. This thoughtful Ellen was a relief. But still, Rae was frustrated. She wanted to be with Ellen. She wanted a future with her. She had fallen in love with her once but to have a second chance like this and finding Ellen changed had made her fall in love with all over again, deeper, stronger, and frustrating. The redhead infuriated and delighted her by equal turns.

  “When you say the Valley this far north they are going to assume Napa,” she laughed at the confused expression on Ellen’s face.

  “When I say the Valley I always assume Silicon,” she returned the laugh, laughing at herself. This too was new; she would have been annoyed at the misunderstanding before.

  Overall she had a lighter feel about her and Rae had notice
d, enjoyed, and fallen deeper. The redhead held her heart and hadn’t cared before, now she treated her and it with kid gloves. Attempts to kiss had never gone beyond a certain point. To say that Rae was becoming frustrated was an understatement.

  “Why don’t you want to make love with me?” she asked after a frustrating encounter on Ellen’s new couch in the living room. It was an exact replica of a 1920’s velvet Club Couch and Ellen had wavered on it as it was a brilliant red in color. Rae had talked her into it and it had just been delivered along with a matching chaise longue that looked fabulous, comfortable, and a tiny bit naughty. They had both sat on it to test it out and Rae had found herself kissing Ellen.

  “It’s not that I don’t want to,” Ellen said uncomfortably. “I just don’t want to ruin things between us.”

  “How could you ruin things?” she asked bewildered.

  “I royally screwed things up before,” she answered, looking away ashamed.

  “I think it takes two to end a relationship,” Rae said astutely.

  Ellen looked at her sadly. “I’ve gone through a lot since then,” she tried to explain.

  “You told me about Ryan dying. I knew that anyway, I read the papers.”

  “Well there is that but he had a requirement in his will…” she began and began to squirm.

  Rae noticed how uncomfortable Ellen was talking about this. What could it be that would make this cool and collected woman fidget? “What was it?” she asked simply.

  “I had to go to therapy.”

  “That’s it?” Rae asked astonished. Everyone she knew had a therapist.

  “Yeah, that’s part of it,” she admitted, she could feel the old bane of a redheads existence beginning again as she blushed.

  “Is that why you called me all those months ago? To make amends because you were going through therapy? Your therapist put you up to it?” Rae was beginning to become angry. This was the old calculating Ellen she had known before. One who didn’t care about another’s feelings or emotions.

  “No, that was me, totally me. I felt, I needed to make amends somehow and apologizing to you was part of that.” She wasn’t about to tell Rae that she was one of many who received phone calls and apologies.

  “Why did you feel the need?” she asked in a gentler tone. She could see Ellen was trying, but what?

  Ellen shrugged eloquently. “I just felt the past needed to be gone from my life, all that negativity. The way I was before is not how I am now.”

  Rae could agree with that. The old Ellen wouldn’t have talked like this, spoken about anything in her past. It was why she had been so intriguing, living in the present. She glanced around the room. Even this room, a modern house, had an ‘old’ feeling. Like a house from the turn of the 19th century. It had all the modern convenience, stainless steel appliances, but the woods, the rich woods were something that their grandmothers, hell their great-grandmothers would have had in their homes. “Does this mean we won’t be having sex?” she asked, trying to lighten the mood.

  Ellen grinned at the tone. “It’s not that I don’t want to,” she began. “It’s just that I wanted to take things slow so I didn’t blow this chance with you,” she finished earnestly.

  Rae was amazed to see this side of Ellen. She was almost…vulnerable. Something that wasn’t often said about Ellen Christenson, the President of Gigitech and Animated Studios. “What if I told you that you won’t blow this chance with me by making love to me?” her voice had become husky with the need and want she was feeling for this dynamic redhead.

  Ellen fidgeted. “Can you give me a little more time?”

  Inside Rae sighed gustily; outside she smiled and said, “Of course.”

  * * * * *

  As they moved the antiques Ellen had stored for so long around the house, tweaking things, making it comfortable, Rae was surprised at the nostalgia that was in Ellen and her furnishings. The stories that Ellen now shared about her mother and the history behind her furnishings were intriguing. The things they found in the antique stores and what drew Ellen fascinated Rae as she helped her. The delightful lunches they shared on their adventures only made her fall more in love. But where was it going? Rae was starting to feel cautious as she began to protect her heart from what she was sure would eventually be the hurt, yes it was different this time, but Ellen hadn’t let it progress naturally, had called a definite halt to things beyond a certain point.

  “Do you mind being there for the bed set?” Ellen called her.

  “No, I have the card and key you gave me. I don’t mind,” Rae answered, wondering if she was just the ‘delivery’ girl for Ellen’s things. Her schedule was a lot easier to adjust than Ellen’s was. She frequently worked from home on the paperwork she entered into the data base for doctor’s all over the bay area.

  “I’ll bring dinner. Would you like anything special?”

  “Oh, you cooking?” she teased.

  “My kinda cookin’,” she laughed as she mentioned a few take out places they frequented. They decided on Italian since they both loved the lasagna from one place.

  Rae brought her computer and worked from Ellen’s place while she waited for the delivery. She was really excited to see it set up in the blank space that had been the master bedroom before. She ran her fingers along the scrolls and embossing of the rich woods. Using a rag and some Murphy’s Oil she shined it up before struggling with the mattress and placing it on the bed. She awkwardly maneuvered the box spring into a spare bedroom as it wasn’t necessary with this old bed. Looking through the linen cabinet she remade the bed with fresh sheets, spread out the comforter she knew Ellen loved, the soft, squishy one that hugged a body, and fluffed up the pillows. When it was done, it looked inviting and she longed to make love to the redhead in it.

  At the end of the bed she placed a chest that perfectly matched the wood of the bed, strategically centering it between the upright posts of the footboard. She looked at the posts and thought for a moment and went back to the linen closet to grab some wispy material and drape it across the posts like a valiance. It wasn’t really what it was for, maybe for curtains or drapes at one time but it looked beautiful against the shining wood and made the bed even more inviting.

  She looked about the room, the theme of dark wainscoting, crown molding, and other ‘old’ touches made it look warm. She looked into the walk in closet of Ellen’s. The walls weren’t lined with clothes, but what was there was expensive, and uniform. She had good taste but the many suits were all similar. Almost as though Ellen had taken a course in Business 101 and bought all the same suits in many different colors. They weren’t exactly alike but they were power suits and Ellen always looked professional in them. Even when she dressed down for antique shopping she still looked classy and semi-professional. The slacks that hung on the second rack of clothes were even more numerous than the suits. The shelves containing shoes lined the back wall, with a flick of her wrist it lit up all the shelves showing off their many colors and styles. On the left side of the closet was open spaces for even more clothes, she wondered if she would ever share this beautiful house with Ellen, but she wasn’t going to push it. She wanted it too much to let what she wanted ruin this.

  Turning out the lights in the closet she looked into the luxurious bathroom, a pattern repeated throughout this place. The double sinks were lined with mirrors at their backs. Each sink had cobalt blue glass bases with golden dolphins for spigots. Ellen had confessed that she didn’t like the dolphins but had kept them because they looked nice against the blue. She glanced at the warming towel rack across from the toilet and bidet. Seeing the walk in shower she longed to take one and try out the recirculating foot massager and many heads along the walls that would insure a relaxing water massage. Or there was the large rectangular tub sunk into the floor big enough for two, it too had jets to massage the user with the powerful water that would shoot out of them. She had never used any of it and wondered why Ellen had never invited her to. Sighing again she left th
e master bathroom and bedroom and went down to the den where she popped open her laptop to work on some paperwork remotely.

  After an hour she glanced up from the never-ending work and saw that Ellen was due at any moment and she was glad, she was hungry, in more ways than one. She already could anticipate the lasagna and her stomach was growling. She looked about the den and thought about starting a fire in the fireplace to create a romantic atmosphere. She also thought about popping a bottle of wine but knew she would probably drink more of it than Ellen would and that wouldn’t be good since she knew she would be driving home later and not staying over. She looked at the leathers of the settee and matching chairs. The brass buttons holding the leather in pockets were a nice touch against the burgundy of the matching leather. She was comfortable with the leg rest up when she heard Ellen come through the back door.

  “Hey, I’m here. Where are you?”

  “In the den,” she called as she quickly finished up where she was at on her work and closed the laptop in time to see Ellen walk in. “Hi,” she said as she reached for the hidden button to collapse the leg rest.

  “Hi,” Ellen smiled walking up to her as she stood up and putting her arms around her for a kiss. “How’d it go?” she asked.

  “Oh, the bed looks fantastic,” she enthused, eagerly anticipating Ellen’s pleasure over the bed and its set-up. She knew that Ellen hadn’t expected her to set it up for her, merely wait for the delivery but she was happy that she had done it, despite nearly cracking her head on the headboard in assembling it.

  “I’ll put it together later but I’m starving. Let’s eat,” she said as she tugged on Rae’s hand to lead her to the kitchen where she had deposited the take-out.

  “Oh yes, that smells delicious,” she said, sniffing appreciatively.