The Shifting Pools

by The Shifting Pools (epub)

  “You are physically ready. Your wings are big enough, strong enough. But this isn’t about the physics of it. It is about the feel of it.

  “And you tried to do it to make me proud of you, not for yourself. That’s not the right reason. Next time, do it for you. By doing that, you’ll be doing it for me, anyway.” He smiled then, trying to lighten the mood.

  “Time to go. We have a lot to do, and a lot to prepare.”

  * * *

  Later, as we gathered around the fire, I had a chance to reflect on the deluge of new information that had swamped me over the past few days. Bits were starting to slot together, but my awareness still felt tentative, sketchy.

  “What is this?” I asked Raul, as I turned the strange object he had given me over in my hands. Its cylindrical form fitted comfortably into a hand’s grip and was about as long as the distance from my hip to my knee. One end of the cylinder swelled to an almost spherical shape, like a giant version of the flask from a Bunsen burner. The other end was flat, and the whole was covered in a snakeskin-like tessellation of tiny glass pieces.

  “It’s a caught-beam. It’s what passes for a torch here.”

  “How? Do you light it? Does it burn slowly?”

  “No, it doesn’t burn at all. It captures light from the sun during the day, storing it here.” He took it from my hand and touched the curved bulb at the end, “and giving the light back out at night, when we need it.”

  “Like a torch?”

  “Yeah – just like a torch. Except that there aren’t many places to pop out and get batteries here, so this works better for us.” He smiled at me.

  “We don’t have as many left as we’d like,” he continued. “We lost a lot when our towns and villages fell. But we have enough to spread around our group, and each band of us Free has at least a few to go around. The skin on them – look; this stuff – is sometimes all we’ve found when we’ve gone back into abandoned towns. We’ve got a few techno-wizards here who have managed to harness these patches of cells on the tops of our tents to provide some interior lighting. But it is these intact hand pieces that are so valuable, as we can take them out with us. And this one is for you. You need to carry it at all times, just as we do.”

  He handed it back to me, and I took it willingly. “Thank you.”

  “How many bands of The Free are there?” I asked

  “In the furthest, southern reaches of Enanti – the sides furthest away from the Shadow Realm – you can still find some villages and small towns that exist pretty undisturbed. But it is only a matter of time. The black hand of the Shadow Beast stretches over our land, and he reaches further with each passing day now. Soon that hand will close over the remotest parts of our shores, and he will drag it back towards the Shadow Realm, pulling all inside with him,” Raul answered.

  “But there are also many gatherings such as ours,” Silas continued. Groups that live out in the woods and open land, moving on occasionally to keep themselves safe. It is a nomadic life for these people now.”

  “Aren’t you one of these people?” I asked.

  “Well, we’ve always lived this way.” He glanced around at his brethren. “Some of us have always been nomadic, and have lived from the land around us, wherever that may be. Our lines have always relied on the forests. And now, those skills have proved invaluable for helping the villagers adapt to this life. For the past few years, we have been covering the land, looking for survivors from attacked villages, trying to persuade people to leave villages that were not yet destroyed. Our numbers have swollen. And then, more recently, we have been trying to form some kind of response; trying to find ways to fight back. Since the Beast took Alette around the time of the Fall of Albedo, we knew we had to get her back, but we were not organised enough to know what we could do. We hadn’t learned yet how to defeat the Shadow Beast’s forces. We were just hiding out, waiting for a turn in events. And then we gradually started to learn. We learned how to exploit weaknesses in his armies, however small those weaknesses may be. We started to feel we had a chance.”

  “And now?” I asked.

  “Now you are here,” Raul said quietly. “And that has the potential to change much. We learned from the main oracle that to save Alette, all we need to do is touch her. She is so rarely within reach; she is kept mainly in the Shadow Realms. But she has been seen here on these shores – I think, to taunt us. One of us, in a battle last year – oh damn – it was the closest we’d ever come [Raul kicked the earth with his heel], one of us got close enough to touch her. His name was Elan. He was young and brave, and he had rushed in without us close enough to protect him. He reached for her. He managed to touch her – it was extraordinary. But nothing – it didn’t work. He was cut down by the Riven.” Raul closed his eyes, tormented by the memory.

  “So it doesn’t work!” I exclaimed.

  “No – we feel sure it does. We just don’t understand exactly how we should do it: where might make a difference; who; when? We don’t know. But we feel certain that you have a role to play here, though, again, we don’t know exactly what it might be.”

  I felt as if I was walking into a giant puzzle to which no one had a solution – if indeed it had one at all – or by whom it had been created, or for what purpose.

  “Can you all fly?” I asked.

  “Only those of us who are truly ourselves. Which is all my close band, and many of the others at camp. Many people and creatures lose their ability to fly, but it can always be found again; you’ve proven that to yourself. But we fly rarely now – the cover of the forest helps to keep us safe, undetected. Flying above the canopy is risky with the forces of the Shadow Beast so close at hand. And we don’t all specialise in flying. I am competent, but it is not my forte.” He grinned at me, enjoying the shock on my face. He laughed. “Well enough to stop you crashing into the sea! But I am not like you. You are predominantly of the water and the air; you are from different elements to the ones I am from.”

  “But you said that we are all of the elements – so aren’t we all the same?”

  “No, each is unique. Yes, we are all of the elements, but those elements find a different balance in each of us. Some people just display one very strongly, others have a complete balance of all.

  “I am of the earth. And you are of the sky and sea. You weren’t just born to fly, Eve; you were born to really soar.”

  He grinned at me again, his eyes dancing. “Although it would have been tough for someone to believe that up at the cliffs this morning…”

  I smiled wryly, savouring this new ease I felt when I was gently teased. “Mmm, it was quite a glorious display. It’s a shame it was recorded for posterity.”

  “Oh, don’t you worry. I have it playing on loop in my mind; I’ve been enjoying it all day,” Raul said, nudging me gently.

  I smiled, transfixed by the flames of the fire, drawing in its warmth.

  “What does being from the water and air elements mean?” I asked.

  “It is just a way of seeing what you already are – understanding it better, being in tune.

  “Water is all the fluid, flowing things in the world. Even the plants are part of it, as they adapt to their environment, nudging towards the light as it changes direction down the seasons.

  “Your nature allows you to quickly adapt to any situation. If you encounter force, you do not resist. You rather absorb the energy and redirect it – just like the sea. This is how you can fight best, Eve: by taking on and absorbing the energy from your enemy.

  “But this energy needs to flow. You’ve absorbed, but not redirected. Behind the walls you’d constructed, it has built up, filling your well with unimaginable power. But that needs to find release now; it needs to inform your daily life.”

  “And the air part?” I asked.

  “That is the most observant, creative and forward-looking of the elements. You will con
stantly be on the search for truth.”

  His words brought to mind the feelings I had experienced standing on the cliffs – wanting to leap off, take that step. I had felt an inexplicable closeness to something important there. Eternity seemed within touching distance. Some immortal truth just hanging in the air, waiting to be grasped. I hadn’t grasped it then, though; I hadn’t known how. I was beginning to see little cracks of light that, without showing me yet how I could, made me feel that it was at least possible. I held that thought in my mind for a while, enjoying the feel of it, the potential of it. It soothed and excited simultaneously.

  I nudged him back now, still tentative in our new intimacy. “What about you then – if you say you are mainly of the Earth?”

  “I live by my instincts. I can read the signals of the birds and the animals. I listen to what the earth is telling me. I can run faster than you can imagine, and I never lose sight of what I want. Yep – that pretty much sums it up. I am part of the Earth, Eve, I come from it – and I understand it.”

  His words reminded me of how I felt when standing in the wind. I told him.

  “That is exactly it. You feel the wind understands you, because you are part of it. You always have been. Everything you are doing here, Eve; it is helping you get back to yourself; helping you to get home.”

  His choice of words cut through to the centre of me. The tears blurred my vision before I even had a chance to control that emotion and bury it down. “I want to go home,” I whispered.

  “I know,” he replied. And I knew he knew I didn’t mean London. I knew he understood so much more than that.

  “How did I get here?” I whispered to him.

  “Through the Shifting Pools. They can take us anywhere – and you came through one when you went underwater at the swimming pool.”

  “So, I can change worlds when I enter these pools?” I asked Raul.

  “Not just other worlds or realities, but also different parts of the world that you are already in. They are all connected, anyway - these pools simply offer a convenient fast-track.”

  “How do you know where you’ll end up?” I asked.

  “It’s like everything you are learning here; you are able to control where you go, but you have to learn how to control it. That will come.”

  “So I can just command it?”

  “No; it is much simpler than that. You just have to feel it – feel where you need to be. And if you don’t know where that is, you just need to think about what you might need, and you’ll be taken somewhere that you can find it.”

  “What if I don’t know?”

  “It doesn’t really matter. Whether you know consciously or subconsciously, you will always be aware on some level of something that you need – and the Pool will read that.

  But this is only one way to do it; there are other ways to get to where you need to go, and sometimes using these Shifting Pools is not the best way. Some things are best done slowly, best done with more conscious choice.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, if I fought my way through forests and grasslands, meeting friends and brothers along the way, listening to the tales of that land, and letting my heart become gradually clearer on what I should be doing next, I would have been on a very different journey from one in which I was suddenly dumped down into a forest where a great final battle was about to take place. Sometimes, it is that journey that is the greatest gift. It reveals more to us about our place in the world, ourselves, our motives and our values. If you fast-track things too much, you can feel disconnected from what is around you, from why you are there. As if you are in a sort of shock.”

  He smiled down at me then, squeezing my hand. “Sorry, Eve, I didn’t mean to make this too personal.”

  “All of it is personal, and I’m beginning to think that’s a good thing. I’m beginning to think that that is why I am here,” I replied simply. “Please, don’t stop.”

  “Ok. All I was going to say was that these sudden shifts between worlds can be unhelpful. We Free don’t use the Pools too often; we always see if there is a better way to proceed first. Sometimes, the best work is done slowly. It can be the only way on occasion for us to know our true minds, to find what we really need. There is so much to treasure in the space between events and actions.”

  I thought of my mother’s words about her beloved Enigma Variations – on how the gift and the magic is in the journey itself.

  “And the Pools can be risky,” Raul continued.

  “I’ve sometimes been sent to places that really tested me. I knew there was something in those places that I needed, something I needed to learn, but they were painful experiences. We’ve known some who have never reappeared here. Whether they are fine and happy living elsewhere, or trapped in an endless test, we can’t know for sure.”

  “But surely, if you are stuck or in a trap, you can just use the Pool again to get away, to go to another place you want to be?”

  “Yes, you can, but it is not as simple as that. When you are in such a place, facing something that intimidates you, it can be hard to remember how you got there – and how you can get away – you are just consumed by the feat in front of you. The Pool can become so well hidden in your new reality that you can’t see it, can’t remember where it is. You need to find a new way to move on, get out. Or you just stay.”

  “But you can remind each other! Even if one of you forgets, surely the others won’t!”

  “Ah, but you can only go into them alone. Such is the nature of the Shifting Pools that even if you wanted to go in with another, you’d probably both be taken to slightly different places; one person’s need is never exactly the same as another’s. You might meet people in there who can help you, but you arrive in each place alone.”

  “But – there’s got to be a but, surely? You do use them, don’t you?” I was beginning to doubt that there was any point in using them at all – and I didn’t want to think that, as I needed to know I could get back.

  “Yes, but sparingly. Occasionally, just as with your coming here, we benefit from that shock of a suddenly shifted reality. It is especially helpful if we find ourselves stuck somewhere, and need a jolt to see it. From what you’ve told me, perhaps that is what you needed...”

  I thought back to my life in London. Was my entire life there, the life I had consciously created, an endless trap? Had it happened by such slow degrees that I hadn’t seen myself ossifying?

  Perhaps he was right that the only real solution for a situation brought about by such shock was to treat it with another shock – another shift. Was that the only way to find a fissure into the fossilised pain, to crack that shell open again?

  I leaned into Raul, his bulk and his warmth. The hairs from his cloak irritated my cheek, so I burrowed in further, pressing harder into the furs. It’s funny how the same thing can affect you differently, I thought, if you only press harder. Like grasping a nettle rather than just letting it brush past your fingertips.

  His arm came around me. The kiss he placed on my forehead flooded me with a sense of return. To what, I don’t know, but I felt it all the same.

  Enanti: the present

  Shifting worlds

  “How can I be sure that I can get back to London?” I asked Lara. “Raul explained the Shifting Pools to me, but how do I know I can really use them to get back, that I can control it?”

  “You can consciously hold that place in your mind, and that usually does the trick. But, if your subconscious is thinking of a different place, a different need you have, then it may be holding that more powerfully. But you can start to control it more with time. And as you get to know more of your subconscious, there will be fewer surprises.”

  “Can I try? Just so I know I can get back?” I asked.

  “It’s risky, Eve. Without the proper control, you don’t know where you’ll end up,”
Lara said.

  “But then how will I ever learn?”

  “Touché. I’ll speak to Raul.”

  “This isn’t Raul’s decision! It’s mine!” I was feeling ruffled now. I didn’t like feeling that my life was yet again under someone else’s control. I understood that Raul was in charge here – albeit in an unspoken way. I was surprising myself. Usually I would have surveyed the terrain, and then done my best to blend in, adapt into virtual camouflage. But I felt change coming: a restlessness in these old ways and observances. A new sap was rising in my veins, making me want to kick against anyone trying to determine my path for me.

  Lara must have seen the look in my eyes. She put her hands up and smiled. “Woah – OK! Yes, I agree it is your decision, but you had best know that Raul won’t like it, and we do need to speak to him about the best way to make it as safe as possible, if you are going to insist we go ahead.” Then she added, “I, for one, am glad to see the fire in you, Eve. I recognised the embers of a fire that had once been burning brightly in you, as soon as I saw you. I like the fact that you have nursed them back to a little flame. They never go out entirely.

  “Come – let’s go and see what our Lord and Master has to say!”

  We both ducked out of Lara’s tent, and braced ourselves as the night air stole our breath. We found Silas and Esker sitting talking around the fire. We could ask them, I thought. That way we could avoid the Raul issue entirely.

  Lara wasn’t keen to circumvent Raul – I could see that in the way she sat reluctantly, casting around in the hope of finding Raul before this all went too far. I pulled on her arm encouragingly, and started to explain to Silas and Esker what I wanted to do.

  “It’s not your greatest idea, Eve,” said Esker, bluntly.

  “It’s bloody stupid,” added Silas. “I’m sure Lara has already explained the risks to you, and you are way off being able to have a degree of control over where you’ll end up.”

  “I have to start somewhere,” I said, feeling frustrated by this stonewalling.