JK Rowling Is A Wizard

by Alex C. McDonald

  “Ah, sorry Dad, I should’ve sent a text, and spoken with you,” I said. “I was actually with Beryl.”

  “Were you?”

  “Yeah. Well about a week ago.”

  “How is she?”

  “Looks amazing and is studying her doctorate.”

  “Really? Good for her. Perhaps that’s why Jasper didn’t say much,” said Dad.

  “Yeah, we had a bit of an argument.”

  “Oh right. Explains his quick exit last night. He just mentioned you had gone out with some friends and that he was moving somewhere else.”

  “Yeah, he finally got all of his anger out about me leaving our venture and never contacting him,” I said.

  “It was a bit harsh, Sean,” said Dad.

  “I know, I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have treated Jasper like that. I should have sat him down and told him.”

  “Here we are,” said Mum. She came over with a tray of tea, cakes and the dreaded umbrella. She immediately handed me the umbrella and began pouring the tea. For the first time in many, many years I looked at the tattered black umbrella with two holes in it and I wondered, how special it was for me.

  It was the only item that had belonged to my biological mother. How strange to have left me with such an item. A useless umbrella? Perhaps it had some kind of symbolic meaning like, here’s an umbrella for a rainy day or keep you dry when feeling low. Maybe no such meaning at all, maybe she just forgot to take it home with her when she left the hospital after giving birth to her unwanted baby.

  “What’s that on the coffee table there Dad?” said Mum sharply.

  “Oh, er, it’s nothing,” said Dad trying to quickly grab the item from the table before Mum could see.

  “That’s a Harry Potter book, isn’t it?” said Mum.

  “Yes, it is, sorry,” said Dad, it was one of my copies of the Prisoner of Azkaban.

  Something caught my eye though, a sparkle flashed across the umbrella if only for an instant. In fact if I hadn’t been staring at it contemplating its meaning to me, while trying to avoid listening to Mum rant at Dad, I’m certain I would have missed it.

  “Look Mum, they’re really good books,” said Dad.

  “Yes, but they’re a problem for ‘You-Know-Who’,” said Mum.

  “Who? Voldemort?” said Dad.

  “No! Sean!” said Mum.

  “Okay, look you’re right. If it will make you feel better, I’ll stop reading it and put it away. Can we just focus on the sharing umbrella,” said Dad.

  “Yes, good idea. Would you like to begin Sean?” said Mum.

  “What?” I replied as if coming out of trance.

  “Start, you know the rules. Whomever has the umbrella begins talking,” said Mum.

  “Yes, of course, sorry,” I said. “Who was my mum?” I could see a wave of panic cross Mum and Dad’s face.

  “We are, Sean, I mean I am,” said Mum.

  “No, I know that. I know you’re my mum, but who was my real mum,” I said.

  “We actually really don’t know, Sean. Like we’ve told you before, we arranged with the adoption agency to pick you up from the hospital when you were born. We never met your biological mother,” said Dad.

  “But that’s not how it really works, though. Usually you might meet the mother. Like if she was a teenager at the time, you might meet her and she might decide that you seemed all right and that you could raise me,” I said.

  “Well, maybe nowadays, but things were done differently back then. We certainly were chosen as the right candidates to become your parents, but we never met your biological mother,” said Mum.

  “That just doesn’t sound right,” I said. I saw Mum and Dad shoot an awkward glance at each other. “Is there something you’re not telling me?” I stood up in anger.

  “No, we don’t know who she was?” said Dad.

  “Well my father then? Who was he?”

  “Calm down Sean,” said Dad.

  “No, I won’t, I mean there must be some records or something somewhere. Something that says who she and maybe he were. I don’t know, maybe there were some down and out drug addicts, but I think I want to know. I mean surely you would know something?”

  “Sean, all we know is that your biological mother did not want you, but we did. And we’ve loved you ever since as our own. And you are our own. You are our son,” said Mum.

  “I know that,” I said. “I know you love me, but there’s something else here. There’s something else.”

  I turned around and ran upstairs to my room leaving my parents bewildered, I heard them mutter something about calling Doctor Brown, but I didn’t care. I turned on my computer and immediately googled;

  ‘How does adopted child find birth parents UK’.

  I found that there was a whole bunch of ways to find out and I immediately began filling out the required online forms and submitting them. I was like a crazed hound, hungry for information. I posted on discussion forums, joined Facebook groups and other social media outlets. Never before had I felt the desire to find out who my biological parents were until now. I collapsed hours later on my bed hugging my stuffed Hedwig cuddly toy. Webpages and online-forums discussions were rushing through my head.

  I had an incredible want, no an insatiable need to find my real mum. I looked up at a copy of the movie poster for ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’ that had been stuck to my wall for years. I looked into the young eyes of Daniel Radcliffe, the actor who had played Harry.

  “I bet you knew who your real parents were,” I said. I then wondered to myself how much Daniel Radcliffe may or may not know about the real wizarding world. I mean, he played an iconic character that symbolized all things magic and he probably has no idea that magic is real. As real as the fictionalized world he had pretended to be a part of.

  “Oh well, Daniel, you might know who your real parents are and you may have played Harry Potter. So you have fulfilled two of my dreams,” I said still speaking to the poster. “But you’ll never know that the magic is real.”

  Chapter 13

  Wake Up!

  “Wake up, lazy bones,” said a voice, kicking me.

  “Ow,” I said in return. I opened my eyes and saw that it was Beryl.

  “Phew, when was the last time you showered?” said Beryl, looking completely immaculate in her stunning appearance.

  “Beryl? What are you doing here?” I said.

  “I’m ready to train you. I passed the trials and am now a fully-fledged wizard,” said Beryl, in a ‘Ta-da’ like pose.

  “Train me? Well that sounds good and all, but I’ve actually decided that I have something I really need to pursue right now and I want to keep working on it right now,” I said sitting up in bed.

  “What? Are you kidding me? What could be more important than learning how to become a wizard?” said Beryl.

  “I have decided I want to find out who my real mum or dad was,” I said. Beryl paused, nodded and then sat down on my bed next to me.

  “Wow,” she said finally. “You’ve had a pretty big week then coming to that conclusion.”

  “Yeah, a bit of a rough week, actually. Went on a bit of a drinking binge after our night together,” I said.

  “Oh yeah, sorry I haven’t been in contact,” said Beryl.

  “No, its fine, you’ve been doing your trial and stuff, so I understand you’ve been busy,” I said.

  “Well actually, that’s not entirely true,” said Beryl.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I actually passed the tests on the first day and I have been avoiding you,” said Beryl.

  “Avoiding me? What for?” I said.

  “Well, honestly, I kind of freaked a little. The truth is Sean I always fancied you when we were growing up, but nothing ever happened. And I was worried that you only liked me now because I’ve changed in appearance so much,” said Beryl.

  This was a fair point made by Beryl, but I couldn’t exactly spurt this out. Plus, I alw
ays regretted not keeping in contact with Beryl when she left for university.

  “Beryl, I like you just the way you are. The past or present. Back in high school I was just as awkward as any nerd on the planet and had no idea how to pull moves on girls. And honestly, I kinda liked you too,” I said. (I think I did anyway, but I’m saying that anyway because I really like her now!)

  “Really?” said Beryl.

  “Yeah,” I said. She smiled at me for a while…..it was getting more than a while now. Does she want me to kiss her? Probably. Okay, so I’m going to lean in now.

  “Did you find your magical object?” said Beryl, cutting me off from leaning in. Damn! I waited too long and it got weird.

  “Yes, yes I did actually,” I said.

  “Great, what is it?”

  “It’s the umbrella my biological-mother left for me. It sparkled for the first time ever when I held it,” I said.

  “Not the family meeting sharing umbrella?” said Beryl laughing. “I remember your mum making me share some things back in high school when she would make Jasper and I join in on the meetings when we slept over here.”

  “I know, it’s the one,” I said. “I think the ceremony ignited something.”

  “We should go now for our first lesson,” said Beryl.

  “I really want to check on a few things,” I said.

  “Sean, play your cards right and don’t hesitate again and you might find yourself coming over my flat again for a cup of tea,” said Beryl smiling.

  “Right,” I said. “That sounds good.”

  “Yes, so don’t hesitate Sean,” said Beryl.

  “Don’t worry, I won’t.”

  “Like I mean get up and get ready now if you fancy a cup of tea later,” said Beryl rolling her eyes.

  “Yes, yes, of course,” I said scrambling out of bed and then falling head-over-heels and face planting into the floor.

  Chapter 14

  Learning Magic

  We were standing in a field of long-grass that we had trekked to after parking Beryl’s car a few miles back. There wasn’t any sign of any other humans, just the way Beryl wanted it. Out in the open and private. Grey clouds loomed above, but rain did not seem imminent.

  I wasn’t sure how this was going to go, but Beryl had made me leave all electronics and wallet back in the car. She said that magical energy would flow better through me without those energetic distractions.

  Beryl had stopped and stood opposite me. A slight wind blew the bottom of her long flowing coat and she stared at me intently. She pulled out her Harry Potter book and aimed it at me.

  “Ready?”

  “Yes,” I said taking out my umbrella.

  I felt nervous as Beryl stared at me, a cheeky smirk crossing her face. What was she going to do? I had a feeling she was the ‘throw him in the deep-end’ type of mentor. Oh, oh. I could feel my anxiety growing inside me, my heart was beating so fast that it felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. Merlin’s beard, Merlin’s beard, Merlin’s beard, what is she going to do.

  “CRUCIO!” said Beryl laughing. What the heck! I can’t believe she just said that. One of the unforgivable curses! Excruciating pain was about to be inflicted upon me! I reacted though almost instantly and shot open my umbrella and tried to hide behind it.

  “PROTEGO!” I screamed.

  Merlin’s beard, I am such a Harry Potter nerd, I cannot believe I knew some sort of charm to protect myself. I heard a thud of something landing a bit of a distance away, but could not see as I was still cowering behind my umbrella…..but no pain. Carefully I edged around my umbrella to look out. No Beryl.

  “B-Beryl?” I said. I retracted my umbrella and then stood up. Where had she gone?

  I heard a low groan come from a patch of long-grass beyond where Beryl had been. I quickly ran towards it and saw Beryl lying down on her back covered in grass. She had been hit badly by something.

  “Beryl, are you okay?” I said kneeling down next to her.

  “What the hell was that?” she said slowly.

  “What was what?”

  “That surge of energy that exploded out of your umbrella?” said Beryl as I helped her up in a sitting position.

  “I-I don’t know,” I said. “You just said one of the unforgivable curses and I freaked.”

  “They’re not real,” said Beryl. “It was just a joke. There’s no such thing as curses like that. Regardless, you shouldn’t be able to produce that kind of power right now, you need time and practice. How did you do that? I can barely produce that level of power myself, you sent me flying!”

  “I-I don’t know,” I said.

  “I have a feeling you’re not going to need much training. Why don’t we move on. Try and make something float,” said Beryl.

  “You mean Wingardium Leviosa?”

  “No, remember to pronounce it ‘wing-gar-dee-um levi-O-sa’,” said Beryl.

  “Yes,” I said grinning at Beryl’s referral to Hermione Granger’s condescending tone to Ron Weasley in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. “Wingardium Leviosa.”

  “Sean!” said Beryl, suddenly a little startled. She began to suddenly float upward and away from me. “Sean? Help?”

  “Use your book,” I said, trying to go through my library of Harry Potter knowledge in my head and wondering how long this charm lasts for.

  “I can’t, I dropped it!” shouted Beryl. “Do something.”

  “I don’t know what to do. I think you just need to wait it out,” I said.

  “Wait it out? Sean, get me down now!” said Beryl, clearly panicking as she began to float higher.

  “Right, yes,” I said. Okay. So can’t think of any counter-charm to combat this charm so what did JK Rowling do? Mostly she made them up, but most of her spells/charms had some kind of Latin derivative to them and she might’ve added a but at the end. “Okay, so what is the Latin word for ‘down’?”

  “What?” said Beryl. Merlin’s Beard, a phone would be great now. I have to do this the old-fashioned way and actually think back to my school days. I think it’s ‘descendit’.

  “Descenditum!” I shouted and then down fell Beryl with another ‘thud’. “Oh dear.”

  I ran to her again as she sat up rubbing a sore backside.

  “Okay,” said Beryl. “Let’s stick to working on magic not aimed at me.”

  “Yes, really sorry there Beryl,” I said.

  For the rest of the day we didn’t stop. Worked on blasting tree trunks to bits, disappearing and reappearing, camouflage, duels, trickery and much more. Nothing in my life had ever come as easy to me as magic did. Beryl was in awe of how quickly I was learning.

  When it got to the late afternoon, we were both exhausted and hungry.

  “Any house-elves around to serve us food?” I joked. Beryl laughed

  “I wish, the elves were wiped out a long time ago,” said Beryl.

  “Oh really?” I said changing the joking look on my face.

  “Yeah, complete genocide,” said Beryl.

  “Merlin’s Beard,” I said.

  “Yes, happened to dragon’s too,” said Beryl.

  “My God. Was it George?” I said.

  “Yes, but I kinda can’t blame them. Times were different back then and a fire breathing dragon was pretty life threatening,” said Beryl. “I mean what would you do?”

  “True, but still, very sad to know species have been wiped off this planet,” I said.

  We arrived back at the car and I opened up my phone. I was shocked to see that I had tons of messages, emails and a few missed phone calls.

  “What is it, Sean?” said Beryl.

  “My mum, she’s been found,” I said. “I mean my biological mum.”

  “What? Where is she?” said Beryl looking over my shoulder as I scrolled through the messages.

  “Hospital. She’s dying and in a hospital in Scotland,” I said just staring at the messages. “Her name is Rosy.”

  Chapter 15

 
; Motherly Advice

  Beryl just drove well into the night. My heart grew in feelings for her as she just knew that I had to go and she wanted to be by my side. I wanted to tell her how much it meant to me that she was driving me all the way to Scotland at a moment’s notice, but I didn’t want to make this weird again and so we stayed silent for most of the trip, absently listening to the radio.

  We drove for 10 hours until we reached the Scottish Highlands, late into the night and headed towards Stephen Cottage Hospital in the small highland village of Dufftown. It was a small town of maybe only 2,000 residents or so, with a medieval looking clock tower in the centre of town. The hospital looked more like a big house than a hospital, but the modest healthcare centre was where my biological mother was lying on her deathbed.

  “You don’t have to come in, Beryl.”

  “Are you kidding me? I’ve just driven the length of the country for this,” said Beryl and she reached across and held my hand. “Your mum’s in palliative care, I’m here for you.”

  “Thanks,” I said. The cold night air hit me hard as I held a brave-face, threw my coat around me and headed towards the entrance of the hospital. A woman sat at the front desk seemingly busy with something on her computer.

  “Hello, how can I help you?” said the woman.

  “I’m looking for my mum and I believe she’s here in this hospital,” I said.

  “What’s her name, love?” said the woman.

  “Rosy,” I said.

  “Surname?”

  “Um, I don’t know,” I said fumbling around on my phone to check my messages of any evidence of her surname.

  “It’s all right, we’re not a big hospital. I’m sure I can find her,” said the woman. “Ah yes, here we are Rosy Lovmomtons.”

  “Sorry, did you say her last name was ‘love-mum-tons’ as in I love my mum tons?” said Beryl. I could see her trying not to laugh, due to it probably being inappropriate, but I must admit it was a unique surname.

  “Well yes, sort of,” said the woman and she showed us her name and its spelling.

  “Huh? Interesting,” I said.