Emergent

by Natasha Brown

  “Not a surprise—it’s raining.” Ana sighed.

  “Ana! Over here, baby!”

  She turned and saw her mother calling out the passenger window of her sedan. Melissa pulled up to the curb and came to a stop. In a rush of movement, she wrenched open her door and hurried over to Ana, wrapping her in a tight embrace. Ana tried tucking away the tears that threatened to spill out. She’d successfully hidden her emotions during her travels and now they took her by surprise. Her mother’s loving touch made her feel safe, if only temporarily.

  “Hi, Mom.” Her throat tightened while she spoke, and she attempted to sound normal.

  “Oh, I’m so glad you’re safe and sound! And finally home.” Melissa’s voice broke as she stroked Ana’s hair.

  “Of course I’m safe. I missed you too, Mom.”

  Melissa pulled away and stared wistfully at her daughter. “My, this is the most tan I’ve ever seen you. And look how muscular and fit you are. You look so healthy.”

  It was Ana’s turn to study her mother. She seemed different somehow. Clearly Ana wasn’t the only one who’d changed while she was gone. For some reason, it bothered her. She wanted to think of her mom in a timeless way. She’d always depended on her to be her anchor and strength. Ana looked at her again and realized how vibrant and happy she seemed and regretted her selfishness. “You let your hair grow out. Looks good.”

  Her mom blushed, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and mumbled, “Well, I’ve been trying some new things out.”

  “Where’s Eva?” Ana craned her neck to look in the windows of her mother’s sedan.

  “School. Which reminds me, we’ve gotta move if we’re going to make it back in time to pick her up. I don’t normally get the chance to pick her up from school—she’s been taking the bus home. She is excited to see you. Don’t want to make her wait.” Melissa walked over to the passenger door and did a double-take. “When did you get a dog?”

  Ana looked at Lifen. She had temporarily forgotten about her. The dog’s dark, intelligent eyes peered up at Ana from under her shaggy, gray fur. Her mentor sat patiently on the sidewalk as though she were waiting for an introduction. “Oh, right. Sorry. There’s so many strays in Mexico. This one kinda wormed her way into my heart. Couldn’t leave her behind.”

  “Has it had its shots? Don’t want Eva’s dog to get sick. Don’t ask me how much I had to spend on that rescued lab from the pound.”

  “Don’t worry—she’s completely healthy. She’s the best behaved dog ever. She’s potty trained and it’s almost like she understands English. You’ll love her.” Ana chuckled to herself while she led Lifen over to the car. Melissa leaned over to scratch Lifen’s head.

  “She’s got long hair. You know how I feel about long-haired dogs. Oh well, load her into the back.”

  Ana opened the back door and Lifen jumped onto the backseat, turned in place twice and sat with her tail wrapped around her feet. The straps of Ana’s backpack were digging into her shoulders, so she was relieved to slip it off and stow it on the floor behind the passenger seat. She couldn’t help but give the dog’s chin a scratch before shutting the door.

  “The rain’s so much colder here,” Ana said as she buckled up and wiped a water droplet from her face.

  “Well, we can’t all live in Mexico.”

  Melissa pulled into the throng of cars weaving their way out of the airport. The repetitive thumping of the window wipers dulled Ana’s senses and she sat in silence, unsure how to make conversation. Everything she could talk about was connected to Chance.

  “So, when are we going to address the elephant in the room?”

  “Huh?”

  Melissa switched off the radio and gave her daughter a sympathetic grin. “You and Chance. When I spoke to Aiyana the other day, she didn’t know anything about Chance coming home. She said she hadn’t heard from him, and in fact, she sounded worried. You know you can talk to me, right baby?”

  Well, thanks to her mother, she didn’t need to avoid it any longer. Time to get it over with. She swallowed and stared out her side window so she wouldn’t have to see her mother’s eyes when she fumbled with the truth. “It’s complicated.”

  “I understand. Love’s complicated.”

  Just get it over with. “We’re not together right now. I don’t know where he is and I don’t know when I’ll see him again. But I don’t want to talk about it.”

  Silence.

  Ana pinched her eyes shut and forced her memories of the last few days from her thoughts. They were only clouding her emotions right now. She needed to focus on what she had to accomplish. She needed to smooth things out at home and get on the road so she could begin training with her mentor.

  “I’m sorry, Ana. I won’t push you. I’m here if you need to talk about it.”

  “Thanks.”

  Ana was grateful that Melissa changed the subject and kept the conversation on things that had nothing to do with Chance. She learned more about the construction project at the center of town than she cared to know, and all about Eva’s classes at school, which Melissa wasn’t very subtle about. Ana knew Melissa’s standpoint on school over travel, but thankfully, she let it drop without another word.

  “How’re Aunt Tera and Uncle Jace?”

  Melissa pinched her lips together, as though suppressing a smile.

  “What? Nothing bad I hope?” Ana asked, her curiosity piqued.

  “Well, Tera’s not too happy about it, but Jace has opened a bait shop with a friend of his.”

  “Is that a bad thing?”

  “No, certainly not. I keep trying to remind her that now he’s getting paid to do what he loves. He doesn’t have as much time to go fishing himself and the shop’s doing pretty good since it’s the only one on this side of the lake.”

  “Well, what’s the problem?” Ana liked her uncle a lot. He might be like a grown teenager, but he was sweet and always ready with a joke. She always thought Aunt Tera was hard on him.

  “Guess he’s been keeping all the excess night crawlers in their fridge. You’d think he’d started World War Three. What I think Tera needs is her own hobby to focus on.”

  “I thought razzing Uncle Jace was her hobby.”

  Melissa laughed. “Poor man.”

  They made their way through town, and Ana tried not to dwell on the high school as they passed by the lot. It felt like so long ago when she had met Chance and they had stood awkwardly by their cars making plans for the first time.

  “Here we go,” Melissa said in a singsong voice and drove up to the middle school.

  Eva would make her feel better. There was nothing like her exuberant little sister to distract her from her problems. When Eva saw the car, she said something to her friends and sauntered slowly to the curb.

  Ana rolled down her window and called out, “Hey sweetie! Surprise, I’m back!”

  “Hey.”

  That wasn’t what she’d been expecting from Eva. Anything short of jumping up and down and screaming was out of character for her.

  “You’ve grown like crazy since I was gone. Not in high school yet?”

  “Ha, ha.”

  Ana noticed that her little sister no longer looked like the young girl in her memories. Her hair was no longer in braids, but flowed free over her shoulders, and her lips had the trace of tinted lip gloss.

  “What’s up? No hug for me?” Ana started to open her door and Eva placed her hand on the frame to stop her.

  “At home—not in front of my friends.” Eva opened the back seat of the car and Lifen sat staring out at her. “You have a dog?”

  Ana glanced in disbelief at their mom.

  Melissa gave a knowing smirk back. “Remember when you stopped letting me give you displays of affection in public?”

  But she was Eva’s sister, not her mom. She couldn’t help but feel hurt at being snubbed. Melissa drove away from the school and Ana rolled her window back up. The happiness at seeing her sister had morphed into something painfu
l.

  “Hey—where’s Chance?” Eva asked from the back seat.

  And it only got worse.

  Chapter 5

  “I see the van made it back safely.”

  Ana spotted the yellow VW parked next to the shed. It shone brightly through the gloom. It had been a gift from Uncle Jace when they moved to Idaho. She had needed something to drive her and her sister around in while their mom was at work. It had served its purpose. It had even helped get Chance and Ana to Denver, Colorado, on their travels down to Mexico, but he had surprised her with tickets to Cancun so they had left it at Melissa’s friend’s house.

  “So, how was the visit at Beth’s?” Ana asked her mom.

  Melissa parked in the driveway and shook her head. “When isn’t it an adventure? It was great seeing her. It’s been almost a year since we left Denver and I thought I would have been happier visiting her there, but I just missed Clark Bend the whole time. Beth set me up on a blind date—like that was going to go anywhere—and kept me busy, but I had to leave with enough time to get back home. But I think Eva had fun at Aunt Tera’s, right sweetie?”

  “Yeah, we went to a cooking convention. It was fun.”

  “Thanks for driving the banana van back home for me, Mom.” Ana knew it was a long drive and in such a loud vehicle too.

  “Well, I was the one that wanted you to fly to Mexico and not drive. It worked out. I saw Beth and I got my way in the end.”

  They climbed out of the car and Ana pulled Eva into a hug before she could hurry up to the front stoop.

  “Hey, I missed you. A lot.”

  Eva pulled away and her sad eyes looked into Ana’s. “I missed you too, but you left. I’m not your baby sister anymore. Things are different now, Ana.”

  Since when had her sister become so mature? She supposed she’d always been that way. Not only had Melissa always protected her, but Ana even depended on her little sister for support. Families were supposed to do that for each other, right? So, why did she feel so alone then?

  Ana nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

  “You guys coming in?” Melissa called from the house.

  Ana dried her cheeks with the edge of her shirt.

  While she walked up the path, Eva’s fingers laced between hers. “Things may be different, but I still love you,” Eva said.

  Melissa held open the door to the little blue house and a blur of yellow shot out past them. The puppy’s tongue licked Ana’s free hand with so much fervor, she was thankful it was soft. She pulled her hand away and wiped it on her shirt.

  “Daisy, meet Ana.” Eva laughed.

  Ana turned around and watched Lifen sitting patiently beside the car. When Daisy saw the scruffy canine, she immediately forgot about Ana and bolted toward her. As soon as the puppy reached Lifen, it sniffed her, sat back, and cocked its head. A soft whimper pierced the air.

  “Well, that’s strange,” Melissa said as she held open the front door. “She loves other dogs—jumps all over them.”

  “C’mon, Lifen,” Ana called. “Let’s go inside.” She figured there was no reason to call her anything different.

  “That’s a unique name,” Eva said with a frown. “Where’d you get it from?”

  “Dunno. Just remember hearing it once and thought it was a nice fit.”

  Lifen followed Ana into the house with Daisy on her tail.

  “No dogs on the furniture,” Melissa said as she hung her purse from a hook on the wall. “I just replaced Grandma’s old couch and I don’t want it to get stinky and hairy.”

  Ana admired the replacement sofa. It definitely improved the look of the living room and the smell too. She wandered over to it and plucked off a yellow hair. “Does Daisy know the rules yet?”

  “She’s a good girl,” Eva said. “She’s trying to learn all of Mom’s rules, but there’s so many.” She squatted down to hug her dog, whose eyes popped from her head as she was squeezed tight.

  “Really, I don’t think I’m asking too much,” Melissa said. “No using my house as a bathroom, don’t eat my food from the table, tongues out of my coffee”—she winced—“and keep off the furniture.”

  “Mom loves you, don’t let her fool you.” Eva kissed Daisy’s head and jumped back up.

  “So, I think I’m going to take my things up to my room and unpack.” Ana started for the stairs and Lifen followed behind her.

  “Okay, go ahead and settle in,” Melissa said. “What’s for dinner tonight, Eva?”

  “Burritos in celebration of Ana coming home.”

  “Sounds good. Now get that homework done—I know you have some and I’ll be back down in a while.”

  Some things don’t change, Ana thought to herself as she dragged her belongings up to her room. She was exhausted. It felt almost like it used to, except her heart wasn’t thundering in her chest.

  She unlatched her door and dropped her things to the floor. When she flipped the light switch, a multitude of tiny points illuminated her ceiling. How could she forget? A gift from Chance. She pinched her eyes shut and almost felt his hand in hers, guiding her into her room, and his breath on her neck the night he revealed his present. The night he asked her to prom.

  Ana, don’t do this to yourself. She forced her sadness aside and sat on her bed. Lifen’s muzzle appeared on her lap and she rubbed between her mentor’s ears. “It just brings back so many memories being here without Chance. But it only makes me want to get moving that much faster. I’ve got to help him.”

  Lifen turned and looked at the pile on the floor.

  “Right, well I’d better get moving then. I don’t know the last time I used a washer to do my laundry. Oh, and a hot shower.”

  Ana unzipped her backpack and emptied it onto the floor. The last two months of her life lay crumpled and wrinkled in a mess, something that went against her cleanly nature. She picked out her valuables—the golden snake hairpin from Balam and a few knick-knacks she had picked up along the way—and threw the rest into a laundry basket. She grasped the cluster of necklaces around her neck. Chance’s bear heartline pendant, as well as his Mayan jade jaguar, twisted together with the protective obsidian necklace that Balam had given her. You will see him again soon.

  Once her dirty clothes were deposited into the wash with a healthy dose of soap, she returned to her room. She needed to plan for her trip. Although it was soothing being back with her mother and sister, she wasn’t home. It was different this time. Home had an altogether different meaning now. Like the old adage, “Home is where the heart is,” Ana’s heart was roaming around in the wilderness of Mexico.

  She knew it wouldn’t be easy convincing her mother she was safe heading out on her own, but she’d do her best. In the end, she’d go anyway, although she hoped it wouldn’t cause a rift between them.

  This trip would be different. She didn’t have to pack light. Lifen had told her they would be able to drive all the way in, weather permitting, which was one of the reasons they needed to get moving. Canada during the winter would be extremely different from fall in the Yucatán. No more shorts and T-shirts. Ana pulled out a large suitcase from her closet and laid it on the floor.

  “Now what will I really need?”

  She sighed and stared at the clothes in her closet. Lifen trotted over, lifted up on her haunches and tugged on a thick, winter coat. Then, she pulled out a pair of hiking boots from a row of organized shoes. If a dog could give a, duh, use your head, sort of expression, Lifen nailed it.

  “Of course, sorry. Okay, so it’ll be kinda like winters in Colorado, except more snow probably.”

  Satisfied, Lifen leapt onto Ana’s bed and curled into a ball for a nap. Ana figured that was all she was getting from her mentor at present and focused on her wardrobe. She pulled out her warmest clothing, then folded, tucked and sorted everything in the neatest way possible. Even the most experienced traveler would have been impressed with her pack job.

  “Ana?” Eva’s face emerged from around the edge of the door. When the
rest of her followed, she crossed her arms and pointed at the filled suitcase on the floor. “You’re not leaving again, are you?”

  “Oh, sweetie. Come here.” Ana opened her arms up to her little sister, who reluctantly moved into her embrace. “It’s something I’ve got to do for myself. You know how proud you were when you had the lead in your dance recital a couple years back?”

  Eva shrugged and Ana pulled away so she could tuck some stray hairs behind her sister’s ear. “I’ve never been able to take the lead in anything. I’ve always had Mom, you and Chance there to protect me. And I feel like I have to go explore on my own so I can feel proud of myself. Does that make sense?”

  “I guess so. I kinda know what you mean. With you gone, I’ve had more attention from Mom, but that’s not always such a good thing.”

  Ana caught Eva’s eye and they laughed. Ana wrapped her arm around her sister’s shoulders. “See, it’s different when you’ve got other people telling you what to do and being there if you fall. I mean, that’s a good thing sometimes, but I want to pick myself up if I screw up and know that I can do it myself. I wouldn’t leave if I didn’t know you were able to take care of things here at home. I mean, look at you cooking the meals like a professional chef—you have talent, Eva. Mom’s lucky to have you around helping out. I always took you for granted before, but you act like my older sister half the time.”

  Eva’s cheeks flushed with pride and her shoulders lifted. She still seemed disappointed and sad, but Ana could tell she’d saved the situation from going nuclear. Although there was still time for Melissa to take it to that level…

  “C’mon, I want to see how you do Mexican food. Think you can fit in with the natives? Can you fool my senses? I’ve been eating the real deal for months. Oh, and I’ve got a recipe for you—Mayan hot chocolate. How about I make some for dessert?”

  Her sister’s eyes widened as she spoke with enthusiasm, “Did you know chocolate came from Mexico?”