The Fallen (Angelic Redemption)

by Angela Horn

  “Just get it over with, so we can eat and relax? I mean, geez, you’re making me tense.”

  “Whatever,” Lila said, relieved for the decision to be out of her hands. “I’ll be back in five minutes, ten tops.”

  Sophie waved her off and focused on scanning the channels for another show. Strolling very slowly down the hallway which separated the two rooms, Lila wished she knew how to make Roman tell her the truth.

  His presence made her feel weak and her only defense was silence. Knocking on his door, Lila lacked a plan, but running back to her room wasn’t an option.

  Roman threw open the door, clearly concerned, which irritated Lila. No matter how she died years ago, she wasn’t a child in need of protection.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, pulling on his shirt.

  “Nothing,” Lila said, pushing past him into the room. “I want to talk. Are you busy because you don’t look busy?”

  Roman shut the door then watched her. The room smelled of the shower and his damp hair dripped on his unbuttoned blue shirt. Lila noticed a silver crucifix necklace, hidden earlier by his collared shirt. The cross didn’t surprise her as much as the two platinum rings hanging next to it. Roman noticed her interest and pulled his shirt closed over the necklace.

  “What do you want to talk about?” he asked, glancing outside.

  Lila considered his question, unsure what to say, then decided blunt worked best for her.

  “I want to know how I died.”

  Roman frowned from his post near the window. “I already told you.”

  “No, you told me why I died, not how I died. I want to know.”

  Roman watched her, his blue eyes darkened with concern, maybe sadness. Either way, Lila knew he would tell her. No matter why he lied, Roman hungered to tell the truth.

  “The gateways are protected by demons, not villains. Demons are what killed you and your pack. They are the ones that trapped Micah.”

  Lila nodded, happier that he told her than by his answer. Lies didn’t suit Roman.

  “If my pack knew the plan, why didn’t you?”

  Fidgeting with the buttons on his shirt, Roman avoided her gaze. “You never planned for them to come, but Anya spotted you sneaking away with Micah in the middle of the night and told the others. You wouldn’t have wanted them to die like that.”

  “Is that why I didn’t tell you?”

  Roman frowned at her and she sensed anger in his eyes. “No, you didn’t tell me because I would have stopped you.”

  “Why didn’t you stop Micah? And why was he making stupid decisions if he was gifted by God to close the gateways? How could he have been so flawed?”

  “His mate died and he lost his way. Micah always thought he was special. When Nina died, it startled him. Even angered him, I guess. He felt abandoned by God. Without the Lord’s direction, Micah started making mistakes.”

  “How did she die?”

  Roman again grew flustered, uncertain how to answer with half truths.

  “Nina was a lone wolf until joining your pack. She died on a mission and Micah blamed God for not protecting her.”

  “Did he blame me?”

  Roman didn’t answer immediately which was an answer in itself.

  “Was it my fault?”

  Frowning deeply, Roman was clearly bothered by the question.

  “Nina wasn’t some newbie who needed coddling. She was a talented hunter and you had no responsibility to save her. It could have just as easily been you or any member of your pack who died that day.”

  Lila nodded, feeling her way closer to the truth. “But Micah thought it was my fault.”

  “It doesn’t matter what Micah thought,” Roman said with a whisper of anger. “What matters is the truth and the truth is you didn’t kill her and you didn’t cause her to be killed. She died doing what God created her to do and maybe that’s why Micah hated God? Or maybe he just hated God for giving him someone to love, knowing she would be taken away?”

  “Do you hate God for that?”

  Roman shook his head, without breaking her gaze. “I don’t hate God.”

  “But you loved me.”

  Roman’s eyes softened and he nodded.

  “And I loved you?”

  Breaking the gaze, Roman sighed. “Not enough.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “You promised me you wouldn’t go on one of Micah’s suicide missions. You promised you would tell me if he started making plans so I could stop him. Micah knew you would die that day and he still asked you to come along. You chose loyalty to him over me.”

  “Do you blame him for my death?”

  “No, I blame you.”

  Lila frowned, wishing she hadn’t asked. “I’m sure I had a good reason to go with him.”

  “Guilt isn’t a good reason. Nina’s death wasn’t your fault. You knew better and still made a bad decision.”

  “Maybe foolishness is a genetic trait Micah and I share?”

  Roman shrugged. “Maybe.”

  Lila moved closer to him, eyeing the rings on his necklace. “Are you still mad at me for dying? Is that why you won’t tell me the truth about everything?”

  Roman sighed, clearly wanting to explain himself, but he held back.

  “I want you to know the truth, but sometimes too much information can be overwhelming. I thought it was important for you to trust me before I gave you too many details.”

  His explanation, one more attempt to baby her, enraged Lila.

  “Trust you? How I can trust you when you keep lying? Just tell me the truth and I’ll trust you. I mean, we’re talking about my life here, but you just want to trickle out info like a reward for good behavior.”

  When Roman didn’t back down to her anger, Lila flinched as he moved closer.

  “Do you really think that when I first found you I should have just blurted out everything? About us and Micah? About you dying? You truly think you would have believed me?”

  “Yes, I do,” Lila said, not giving an inch even if his anger bothered her. “I think you harbor resentment towards me which is why you’re holding back. If you had just told me the truth, I would have believed you.”

  “No, Lila, you wouldn’t have. I know that because three years ago, when I found you the first time, I did blurt it all out. I told you everything, but you didn’t believe me. In fact, you shot me and ran away. By the time I caught up to you again, you were dead. So despite what you think, I don’t enjoy lying to you. I would love to have told you everything, but I tried that before and I lost you again. I’m being more careful this time.”

  Lila gasped, angry and frightened. “How many times have I died?”

  “Twice,” he said then added. “That I know of.”

  Lila sat on the bed, her mind reeling. She quickly jumped to her feet, unwilling to give into her insecurity.

  “I don’t understand why I would shoot you?” Lila said, even as she remembered her fear back in Los Angeles when he was just an itch stalking her.

  “You had a mission then too. You were infected by the demon virus and died before I could find you again.” Roman paused, his face displaying the pain of remembering. Sighing, he continued. “I knew you had come back once and I hoped for another chance.”

  Lila felt her confidence crumble and all her swagger disappeared.

  “I’m really bad at this, huh?”

  Roman moved closer, wanting to comfort her, but unwilling to do more than stand a few feet from her.

  “You’re just impulsive.”

  Lila eyed him, calming herself. “I shot you?”

  “It wasn’t serious. You just wanted to get away.”

  “Oh, yeah, then it’s totally acceptable.”

  Smiling, Roman inched closer. “I just want to help you, Lila. You see that, don’t you? I don’t want to control you or your mission. I just want to keep you safe.”

  Lila nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you before.”

  “I shoul
d have known not to blurt it out the way I did, but to have you alive in front of me was overwhelming. I didn’t think. I just acted and I scared you. Even with the lies, I think it went better this time.”

  Lila smiled. “You kept me from shooting you, so that’s a definite plus.”

  Roman shared her smile, moving a bit closer, yet still wary of any perceived intimacy.

  “How long ago was it that I first died?”

  “Seven years.”

  The thought of Roman searching for her after so many years filled Lila with an emotion she couldn’t hide. Rushing to Roman, she forced him into a hug.

  “I’m sorry I died and I’m sorry you were alone all that time and I’m sorry you’ve had to chase me down over and over. Right now, I’m not entirely sure why you put in all that effort?”

  Roman watched her for a moment, considering his response. She thought he might step back and keep his distance. Instead, he caressed her cheeks. Lila held her breath, uncertain about her feelings even now. She was certain enough that she didn’t want him to stop though.

  Roman’s fingers slipped into her auburn hair, caressing her scalp as he gazed into her eyes. He was still a stranger in every way, but she sensed something warm and familiar about his touch.

  Roman smiled gently at her, his hands skimming across her collarbone so softly she shivered. When he spoke, his voice was no more than a whisper.

  “The Lord gave you to me and I’ve never regretted His choice. You did what you thought you had to with Micah. I won’t pretend to think you made the right decision, but everything you’ve done made sense to you at the time.”

  Touching the diamond ring on his necklace, Lila smiled slightly. “Is this mine?”

  Roman nodded.

  “May I have it back?”

  “Of course,” he said, unlatching the necklace and slipping off the rings.

  “You kept it all these years?”

  “When I found it, I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” Roman said, sliding on his ring too. “It was all I had left of you and I’m glad to return it.”

  “What do you mean by found it?”

  Frowning, Roman handed her the ring. “Do you really want me to spell it out?”

  Lila nodded, slipping the ring on her finger. “It still fits.”

  Taking her hand, he touched the ring. “The gateways are protected by hellhounds. Does that spell it out enough?”

  “How did my ring survive?”

  Roman sighed. “You’re going to make me say it, right? That’s what you need?”

  Lila gazed into his deep blue eyes and wished she remembered him.

  “Please tell me. I want to understand what happened before. I want it to feel real because it doesn’t right now. I feel things for you and I believe I felt them before, but the reality of me being someone else years ago doesn’t feel real.”

  Nodding, Roman looked down at her hand, bothered by remembering.

  “You left in the night. When I woke, I knew something was wrong and went looking for you with my pack. We found Ivy who told us Micah had disappeared and you and the others were killed by the hellhounds. We fought the beasts, still hoping you might have survived. When I sliced open one of the hellhounds, your ring fell at my feet. We never found any other trace of your pack or Micah, but God gave me this ring to show me the truth.”

  Lila nodded then took his hand. “And I died from the virus the second time?”

  “You didn’t want to infect your pack so you killed yourself.”

  “How?”

  Roman sighed loudly, moving away from her.

  “Just blurt it out,” Lila said, touching her ring again. “Then it’ll be over and we can move on.”

  “Gasoline. You set yourself ablaze to destroy your body so the others wouldn’t be infected.” Sighing again, he looked at his hands. “I guess I should feel grateful that I never had to watch you die.”

  “And I should feel grateful that I didn’t kill off my pack the second time. Was Sophie part of that pack?”

  “No, they were male. I didn’t know Sophie was alive until you found her. I don’t know anything about the other members of your pack who died seven years ago. I know Ivy ran with my pack for a while, but I haven’t heard anything from them in years.”

  Lila moved closer to Roman and threw her arms around him again.

  “Thank you for telling me. I’ll stop asking.”

  “I just want you to trust me, so I can help you.”

  “I do trust you and I plan to do things better this time.”

  Reassured by her words, Roman’s hug tightened.

  “Do all hunters come back?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never heard of any of them returning except for you. Now with Sophie, I have to wonder.”

  Lila thought of how she died - how she always seemed to die - and was filled with dread. Pulling him closer, she asked, “Can you stay with me tonight?”

  With a scowl on his handsome face, Roman squirmed away. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

  “Why not? We’re getting along, right?”

  “But you don’t know me. To you, we only met ten hours ago.”

  “So what? You don’t really know me either. You just know who I used to be.”

  Roman cocked an eyebrow. “I’m sure it makes you feel better to believe that, but it’s not true. I know everything about you. I know you sleep on whichever side faces the door. I know you don’t think you pout when you’re not getting your way, but you do. Just like you’re pouting right now. I know about REO Speedwagon and Journey and licorice and Dr. Pepper. Always diet, never regular because the aftertaste makes you gag. And I know every inch of your body.” Roman paused, eyeing Lila. “I know you, but to you, I’m a stranger.”

  “Okay, whatever,” Lila said with the pout still on her face. “All I wanted was to have you close by because I’m feeling insecure right now after hearing how easily and often I die. Whatever. Sleep in here and I’ll go back to my room with Sophie. If I die though, I hope you feel bad about telling me no.”

  “Wait,” Roman said quickly. “Are you asking to sleep in the same room or the same bed?”

  “The same room, perv. I just met you after all,” Lila grumbled, hating him for rejecting her, yet hating herself even more for caring about him rejecting her.

  “Oh, then yeah, we should share a room. Sophie isn’t even close to being useful in an attack situation.”

  Lila snorted. “Whatever. I really don’t care either way now.”

  “Please don’t be mad. I just want to do things right this time.”

  Lila wanted to stay angry. Angry felt right and it felt good. Yet there was something broken about Roman and Lila knew she was the one who broke him. Relenting, she smiled slightly.

  “Okay, well, I’ll let it go because of how I died on you.”

  Roman nodded, eyeing her warily. “Do you plan on telling Sophie about her past?”

  “No,” Lila said immediately.

  “But you seemed to think knowing was better.”

  “Yes, but that’s me. Sophie’s fragile. She just found out she’s a hunter. Telling her she’s a hunter who sucked enough to die won’t improve her confidence.”

  “She’s not as weak as you think, Lila.”

  “Just the same, we should keep her focused on the mission and learning to hunt and not on the past. I know this sounds hypocritical of me since I’m all about the past, but that’s because you and I share a specific past. Telling Sophie anything more than she once worked with us won’t help her.”

  “Won’t she be angry when she finds out we’ve lied to her though?”

  Lila sighed, running her hands through her hair. “Does she have anyone special? You know, like I have with you? Is there any hurry for her to know about her past?”

  “Not that I know of.”

  “Then let her be angry later. For now, just let her be. Okay?”

  “I’d like to say you know her better tha
n I do, but that wouldn’t be true. I’m not going to be the one to tell her the truth though.”

  Smiling, Lila clapped her hands. “Good. I’ll go get Sophie and our stuff and we’ll stay in your room. It’s colder in here and I like it cold. Oh, but you probably already knew that, right?”

  “This room is also closer to the exit.”

  Nodding, Lila moved to the door. Before she could turn the handle, Roman was at her side. Taking her face in his hands, he leaned down and kissed her softly, tentatively. Lila knew he feared rejection even after all of the kind words and tender moments of the last few minutes. She feared it too, yet Lila wasn’t one to give into her fears.

  She pulled him closer and kissed him deeper whether he was ready or willing. Turned out, Roman was both.

  The moment Roman’s lips spread over hers, Lila immediately accepted how she belonged in his arms. While she didn’t remember him, there was something perfect about his kisses. The way his tongue tasted her and his hands pulled her closer. The way he melted against her.

  When a knock on the door startled them apart, Lila pulled her gun out. Staring at her with such raw need, Roman pressed her hand downward.

  “It’s Sophie,” he said.

  “You can see through doors too?”

  Grinning, Roman reached for the doorknob. “No, I can sense her. It’s our proximity to the gateway. It left a residue on us that I can sense. It’s how I tracked you. It’s also why the dogs don’t like us.”

  Roman opened the door for Sophie who rushed inside.

  “I got a creepy feeling sitting alone in the room. What was taking so long?”

  “We were talking,” Lila said.

  Sophie studied Roman whose shirt remained half buttoned. “Is that all? Why is he barely dressed?”

  “He’s just less dressed than before, not barely dressed. Stop being weird and help me get our stuff from the other room. We’re bunking in here for safety reasons.”

  “Should I be worried?”

  “Will my answer change your level of worry? If not, I’m ignoring you and going to get our stuff.”

  Sophie shrugged and followed Lila to their room. Grabbing their bags, the women hurried back to Roman’s room. Lila could tell by the look on his face how he hated them being out of his sight for even those few minutes. She wished to reassure him, but there was nothing she could say that would erase the memory of her two deaths.