Rodeo Dad

by Carla Cassidy

  Marissa shrugged. “What do you want me to say? He’s a nice, handsome guy, but there were no sparks, no chemistry.”

  “Too bad He really liked you. He’s planning on coming back to town next weekend and wants to ask you out again. This time just the two of you, without Derrick and me.”

  “Oh, Lucy, tell him not to. I’ll just have to turn him down and that’s always so awkward ” Once again Marissa sank down on the chair next to her friend. “I don’t want to lead him on or waste his time.”

  She tried not to think about the chemistry, the sparks that had exploded after her date with Frank... sparks that had ignited into full-blown flames of desire with Johnny. “It’s not fair to Frank for me to see him again.”

  “Okay, so I’ll fix you up with somebody else. At least you broke the dating ice by going out with Frank. I’ve got a dozen single men who would love to ask you out,” Lucy said cheerfully.

  “I don’t think I’m ready,” Marissa replied, the very idea of another date turning her stomach. “I need more time to get used to the idea of dating.”

  “More time?” Lucy eyebrows flew upward in disbelief. “My goodness, Marissa. You’ve had ten years. How much longer do you need?”

  “I don’t know,” Marissa said, her voice sharp with the beginnings of irritation.

  “Okay, okay. Don’t get excited.” Lucy held up her hands in surrender. “I was just trying to help.”

  Marissa smiled an apology. “I know, and I’m sorry for getting snappish. I’ve just got a lot on my mind ”

  Lucy’s expression instantly turned sympathetic. “Is losing the prom account going to make things financially difficult?”

  “It’s going to make things tight, but I’ll get by. Benjamin will just have to wait a little longer for that computer he wants.”

  Lucy finished the last of her coffee and stood. “Guess I’d better get out of here and let you get to work.”

  “You don’t have to hurry off. It’s been a slow day.” Marissa said the words out of politeness, instead of any real desire to get Lucy to remain. The entire conversation had unsettled Marissa, bringing with it too many thoughts of Johnny, his alleged crime, and her own feelings toward him.

  She walked with Lucy to the front door of the shop. “Maybe we can catch a movie this weekend,” she suggested, realizing it had been a while since she and Lucy had shared a ladies’ night out.

  “Sorry, not this weekend.” Lucy smiled, a rapturous smile that transformed her features from pretty to beautiful. “Derrick and I are driving to Butte to meet his parents. We’re leaving Friday and won’t be back until Sunday.”

  “Sounds serious.”

  “I think it is.” Lucy smiled again. “I’m crazy about him, Marissa. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”

  Marissa gave Lucy an impulsive hug. “I’m so happy for you, Lucy,” she said, fighting against a new wave of loneliness that threatened to overwhelm her.

  Later, after Lucy had left, the loneliness crept into Marissa’s heart once again. She was glad Lucy had found somebody she loved and who seemed to love her back. That was the way it was supposed to work.

  However, Marissa couldn’t help the rather selfish jealousy that assailed her. Lucy had been a good friend for years, and even though Lucy had dated a lot during those years, she’d always made herself available to help Marissa fill lonely nights. At least once or twice a week the two would go shopping, or to dinner, or to a movie together, but Marissa had a feeling those times now would be few and far between.

  Marissa would miss those nights shared with her friend, but she couldn’t begrudge Lucy her happiness in finally finding the man she believed would fill all her needs, the man who would share in her future.

  Deciding to dust the glass shelves that held an array of artificial flower arrangements and a variety of empty vases, Marissa got to work, hoping that keeping busy would clear her mind of all other thoughts.

  By the next evening when Benjamin’s ball game rolled around, Marissa was exhausted. Since her talk with Lucy, she’d deep cleaned each and every inch of the shop, taken a much-needed inventory and had stayed up late the night before cleaning her bedroom and storing away winter clothing.

  “Do you think Dad will show up?”

  Marissa turned into the elementary school parking lot, then shot a quick glance at her son’s hopeful face. “He said he’d be here, so I’m sure he will.”

  “You think he’ll like watching me play ball?”

  Marissa smiled. “I’m sure he’ll love it.”

  Benjamin nodded, his face lit with eagerness. “It will be the first time he’s seen me play. I hope I do really good tonight.”

  Marissa parked her car, then smiled at Benjy. “Honey, you just do your best, and that will be more than good enough for your dad.”

  Benjy nodded and scrambled out of the car. “I’ll see you after the game, Mom.”

  As he hurried to join his team in their dugout, Marissa walked toward the spectator stand, a small set of bleachers where several parents were already seated.

  Marissa nodded and waved to those she knew as she sank down in the middle of the first row of bleacher seats. As Benjy’s team ran out onto the field and began to practice, Marissa watched her son with pride.

  He looked so cute in his little red-and-white uniform, his enthusiasm apparent in the smile that curved his lips, the way he practically vibrated with energy. He was always excited before a game, but his excitement level this evening seemed particularly high, and Marissa knew the reason why.

  Johnny.

  In the short time he’d been back in town, he’d captured his son’s heart completely. And she knew Johnny loved his son with all the devotion a father could give. They needed each other and Marissa knew Johnny gave Benjamin the emotional support a boy needed from a father.

  As the practice session continued on the field, she was aware of Benjamin looking toward the bleachers every few minutes, and she knew he was looking for his dad.

  A caravan of minivans pulled into the parking lot, delivering the opposing team from their nearby hometown. Within minutes the bleachers were three-quarters filled and the teams were once again in their respective dugouts for last minute inspiration from their coaches.

  Where was Johnny? She, too, watched the parking lot anxiously, hoping—praying—that his truck would appear. There was no way she’d believe that he would let his son down unless something dire kept him away.

  As the teams all left the dugouts to take their positions on the field, Marissa breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Johnny’s truck pull into the parking area.

  Marissa’s heart thudded wildly in her chest as she watched Johnny approach. Clad in a tightly fitted pair of jeans, a white T-shirt, and with his familiar black cowboy hat planted firmly on his head, he looked like the young man she’d fallen in love with...the hero who’d saved her from Brian Theron’s drunken advances...the man who’d danced with her in the woods on a prom night years ago, then had made beautiful love to her.

  It was at that moment, Marissa realized she’d lied to Lucy—just as she’d been lying to herself all along. She didn’t have a firm grip on her heart, she didn’t have her heart in her possession at all. She’d given it to Johnny ten years ago and he still owned it. She was still in love with Johnny.

  Johnny swept his hat off his head as he approached the bleachers where Marissa sat. He tried not to notice how pretty she looked in her jeans and a bright red T-shirt that acknowledged her as a Mustang Mavericks supporter.

  Instead he averted his attention from her to the field, where Benjamin waved from his spot on the pitcher’s mound Johnny was here for Benjamin, not for Marissa, he reminded himself.

  He had two things on his mind...Benjamin’s game, and the conversation he’d had earlier in the day with Brett Enderly, one of the men who’d been a suspect in Sydney’s murder. Johnny had finally caught up with Enderly, who no longer worked for the Emerys, but now worked as a trash collect
or for the town of Mustang. He shoved the conversation to the back of his mind, wanting his full attention on his son and the ball game getting ready to begin.

  Johnny sat down next to Marissa, knowing that’s where Benjamin would expect him to sit. As her perfume filled his senses, and she smiled her damnable sweet smile at him, tension swelled inside him.

  “Benjamin will be so glad you came,” she said.

  “I wouldn’t have missed it for anything,” he replied curtly.

  “That’s what I told him.” She smiled at him again and Johnny felt his desire for her surge up from within. But, it was a desire he had no intention of acting on. Instead, he turned his complete attention to the game getting ready to begin.

  Once the game began, it didn’t take Johnny long to get caught up in the excitement. The kids played their hearts out, and the spectators verbalized both their support and their disappointment with each play.

  Although Johnny had intended to keep emotional distance from Marissa, it was impossible not to share pride in their son, and the excitement of cheering his team toward victory. When Benjamin hit a home run, driving in two runs to put the Mavericks in the lead, Marissa squealed her happiness and threw her arms around Johnny.

  In those brief moments of celebration and intimate closeness, Johnny’s desire for her once again rocketed through him.

  When would he stop wanting her? When would he finally be able to talk to her, spend time with her and not feel the responding heat and passion she always seemed to provoke in him? He hoped that day would come soon, because in his present state, each moment he spent with her was a curious kind of torture.

  The game ended with the Mavericks winning by one run. Benjamin came running over to where Johnny and Marissa sat, whooping and hollering with joy “Did you see me? Coach said I did a great job tonight,” Benjy said excitedly.

  “Better than great,” Johnny replied as he tousled his son’s hair. “You were fantastic. Your fastball whizzed by those batters so accurately they couldn’t get a handle on it.”

  Benjamin turned to Marissa “Mom, Coach is taking us all out for pizza. He says he’ll bring us all home later. I can go, can’t I?”

  Marissa laughed. “Of course you can go. I’ll just meet you at home later.”

  “Great!” Benjamin gave both Johnny and Marissa a wide grin. “I gotta go,” he said as the coach called for all the players to join him at the dugout. “See you later, Dad. Thanks for coming. Bye, Mom.” He turned and, with a stir of dust, raced off.

  “Want to go to the diner and get a cup of coffee?”

  The words of invitation fell from Johnny’s lips almost as if of their own volition.

  “A cup of coffee sounds good,” she agreed. “I’ll meet you at the diner in about fifteen minutes.”

  Just drive on home, Johnny told himself once he was back in his truck. Why the hell are you meeting Marissa for coffee? Despite his chiding, the truck headed for the diner instead of for his house.

  Marissa was already seated at a booth when he arrived. He joined her and they both ordered coffee from the waitress. As Johnny sipped his, he tried not to notice the flush of color in Marissa’s cheeks, the way her T-shirt clung provocatively to her breasts, how her hair was in charming disarray as if tousled by a lover’s hands.

  Of all the single, available women in Mustang, why did it have to be this one that heated his blood? Why did it have to be Marissa who stirred him on such a primal level?

  “The game was fun,” he said in an attempt to start a conversation that would keep all other thoughts in check.

  Marissa nodded. “I enjoy going to the games.”

  An uncomfortable silence grew between them, a silence thick with tension.

  “I thought...”

  “It seems...”

  They started to speak at the same time, stopped, then laughed. “Go ahead,” Johnny said.

  “I was just going to say that it seems like everyone is getting used to having you around. I didn’t notice anybody paying much attention to you when you showed up at the game.”

  Johnny smiled. “I guess I’m old news by now.”

  “What were you going to say?” Marissa asked curiously.

  “I was just going to say that I thought your friend worked here...Lucy?”

  “She does, but she works the day shift.”

  Johnny signaled for a refill from the waitress. She poured them fresh coffee, then left and another long silence built between Johnny and Marissa.

  “I talked to Brett Enderly today,” Johnny said, and as soon as the words left his mouth, he knew it was why he’d invited Marissa for a cup of coffee. He wanted to bounce the conversation he’d had with Brett off her.

  “Brett Enderly?” She frowned thoughtfully. “Who is he?”

  “One of the five original suspects in Sydney’s murder. He used to work for the Emerys but now collects garbage.”

  Marissa leaned forward, her eyes lit with excitement. “Did he tell you anything you can use to help clear your name?”

  “At first he didn’t want to talk to me at all.” Johnny paused a moment to sip his coffee, remembering the man’s reluctance to speak with him. “He told me he couldn’t afford to lose his job, that the power of the Emerys was long reaching.”

  “So, he didn’t tell you anything?” The brown of Marissa’s eyes deepened with disappointment.

  “He finally told me a little, enough to get my brain working. Apparently he started working for the Emerys when Sydney was twelve years old, and he quit working for them when Sydney was sixteen.”

  “Why did he quit?” Marissa still leaned forward, her features radiating interest. Johnny wished she’d sit back, widen the distance between them so he couldn’t smell her, couldn’t so easily reach out and touch her.

  Johnny took another sip of his coffee, as if the brew would protect him from his own desire where Marissa was concerned. “He said he quit because he couldn’t stand to see the way Brad treated Rachel, Sydney and Gillian.”

  “And how did he say Brad treated them?” Marissa asked softly.

  “He said they were treated like prisoners in a prison with a sadistic warden. He said he saw Brad slap Sydney, twist her arm, kick her. Brett told me that not a day went by that Brad wasn’t tormenting one of the girls in one way or another. The day he quit it was because he saw Brad whip Sydney. She was back-talking him and as she turned to walk away, he snapped that whip and laid open not only her dress, but the flesh of her back.”

  Marissa gasped, the horror in her eyes the same emotion Johnny had felt when Brett had told him what he knew. “Oh my God!” she gasped.

  Johnny expelled a deep breath and raked a hand through his hair. “You know, I’ve had all afternoon to think about what Brett told me. Brett’s words made me remember that Sydney never wore short sleeves or shorts. No matter how hot it was, all of the time I was meeting with her, she always wore long sleeves and slacks.”

  He shook his head, anger welling up inside him. “I should have known. I was supposed to be her friend. I should have realized things were bad for her, that she was scared and physically abused.”

  “Johnny.” Marissa reached across the table and captured his hand with hers. “How could you know? If Sydney didn’t tell you, how were you supposed to know?”

  The guilt that had been eating at Johnny since his conversation with Brett reared up in full force. “The signs were there, I just didn’t see them, but I should have The clothes she wore, the fear I always saw in her eyes. One night she had a bruise on her chin. She told me she fell on the stairs and had bumped it, but her story didn’t sound right. Still, I didn’t pursue it. She seemed so damned fragile.”

  “You can’t blame yourself, Johnny.” Marissa squeezed his hand, her eyes filled with compassion for him...for Sydney. “She wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up, Johnny. I’m sure your friendship with her brought tremendous joy to her life. That’s what you need to remember.”

  His guilt ebbed somewh
at with her words and he looked at her gratefully. “I think Brad killed her,” he finally said.

  “You need to go to Jesse. Tell him what you’ve found out and let him reopen an investigation.”

  Johnny pulled his hand from hers and frowned. “The sheriff isn’t going to reopen an investigation based on speculation. And right now, that’s all I’ve got. In my gut, I believe Brad killed her, but that’s not enough to go on. The sheriff will want to know why Brad might have killed her, and I don’t have an answer for that.”

  “But Brett could tell Jesse what he told you,” Marissa protested.

  “Brett won’t repeat what he told me to anyone. He already told me that. Brad Emery has this whole town running scared because of his temper and his power.” Johnny sighed again, deep and long, knowing the sigh reflected the hopelessness that echoed hollowly inside him. “Maybe I’m a fool,” he said.

  “What are you talking about?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe I’m a damned fool to be spinning my wheels trying to clear my name. Maybe you were right all along, maybe I should just forget it and get on with my life.”

  “Okay, then I’ll go home and try to explain to Benjy why his father is a quitter,” Marissa said, trying to inspire him.

  Johnny looked at her sharply. “Hell, Marissa, you’re the one who kept telling me to leave things alone, get on with my life, stop trying to change the past.”

  Her cheeks flushed with color. “And I was wrong.” Again her hand reached for his, clasping his warmly. “Oh, Johnny, I didn’t want you stirring things up because I was afraid, but I’m not afraid anymore.”

  She drew a deep breath. “This is bigger than me and my fears, or Benjamin or even you. This is about a girl who was murdered. If you’re right and Brad killed her, then he should be in jail. And if you’re right, and he’s an abusive monster, then you need to dig deeper, find out the truth not just for yourself, but for Rachel and Gillian as well. They’ve continued to live with his torture for ten years.”

  Johnny closed his eyes and curled his fingers so that instead of her clasping his hand, he was holding hers. This was why he’d wanted her to come for coffee, he’d known instinctively that she would give him the strength to continue.