Cruel & Beautiful

by A. M. Hargrove

  When I get a text back, Dinner with the possibly of breakfast, with a winking emoji, I wonder if I have any right to the grin that broadens across my face.

  MY ROOMMATE, JENNA, LEANS AGAINST the doorframe. I catch her out the corner of my eye. She knows my rule—no interruptions while I’m writing. My nose zeroes in on my computer screen and fingers fly across the keyboard. What feels like a thousand plus papers I have due the first month of this semester is the reason behind the rule. Jenna doesn’t speak; she just occupies space. Unfortunately, she’s enough of a distraction that I lose my train of thought and start typing inane crap.

  “Okay. I give up. What do you want?” The question is half born from frustration, the other in jest.

  She crosses her arms over her chest, determined to tell me something. “I have news.” An indecent grin grows on her face like a weed.

  “News?” My face pinches into a frown.

  “Remember my brother’s friend that was at the party last weekend?”

  “I guess.” Truthfully, I don’t have a clue who she’s talking about, but I need to get back to the paper that’s due tomorrow. Besides, Ben mingled with a ton of people at that party. I almost glance away but she’s quick to respond to keep my attention.

  “You have to remember. He’s adorable. Tall, sandy blond, blue eyes. His name’s Drew?”

  Her face lights up as if she’s an entertainment news reporter with a breaking headline story.

  “And?” Because honestly, as much as I’d love to chat, all the work I need to do trumps guy talk.

  “He wants you. Bad.”

  I pause for a second at the way she added that last part. Then I shake it off.

  “Is that what you interrupted my train of thought for, crazy girl?” Smiling, I throw the pencil that’s tucked in my ear at her.

  “Hey!” She laughs because she thinks I’ll give in. “Drew is hot. Smokin’ hot. As sin on a graham cracker.”

  “Okay, one, I don’t have time for Smokin’ Hot Drew. And two, what the hell is sin on a graham cracker?”

  “A s’more. That’s what. And he’s better than that. And you know how much I love s’mores.”

  I shake my head because Jenna has always been boy crazy. Lucky for her, she’s been successful at meeting the right guys.

  “As tasty as he sounds, I’m far too busy these days. I have to maintain my grades to keep my scholarship.” I turn my attention back to the computer and try to remember what I was about to type.

  “Jeez, Cate, all you do is study and write. I practically had to drag you to that party on Saturday. I swear if it hadn’t been for Ben being in town, you never would’ve gone.”

  I roll my head around, trying to ease the stiffness in my neck. “You know why I can’t take a break. If I lose my scholarship, there goes my tuition money. As it is, I can barely afford what the scholarship doesn’t cover. My parents warned me about my financial situation when I decided to go to school here.” She stares at me like she’s forgotten. I sigh. “It’s all on me.” Finally, I spell it out, hoping she remembers. “My family doesn’t have money like yours does. That means I have to keep my grades up. I almost screwed all that up with dickwad.”

  Jenna frowns. “Jeez Cate. One little break won’t kill you.”

  “Yeah, I went to the party, didn’t I, and got wasted. I don’t remember half the things I did. Besides, last time I gave my attention to some guy it almost cost me. I learned a huge lesson that time. Remember?”

  “Yeah, but I thought you were talking about the way …”

  I have to stop her. That is one memory that needs to stay buried. My palm flies up in the air as I groan. “That was a fucking catastrophe all around. I mean, I tried to sleep with the jerk and you know how that went.”

  She runs over to me and hugs me. “I’m sorry. I know he hurt you.”

  “Yeah, even worse, it was humiliating,” I mumble into her shoulder. “Not only that, my grades crashed. I can’t go through that again. I’m taking extra classes and working double time to make up for that semester. So no. Graham cracker sin can’t be an option right now. I wish it could be different.”

  Jenna pulls her hair out of an elastic band and twists it up in a messy bun, wrapping the band around it again. “After all the time you spent ogling him and chatting it up with him on Saturday, I thought that maybe you were interested.”

  Scrunching up my face, I say, “Um, yeah, those details are totally sketchy to me.”

  “You’re positive then?”

  “I wish I could, but studying comes first. Now scram so I can get something done.”

  She sidles out the door and I resume my work. But now I have to conjure up some BS because the old thought choo choo has chugged right off the tracks. This sucks. After about twenty minutes, I get up and decide to go for a run. Running always helps my brain reconnect. I tie my shoes and charge out the door. Forty minutes later when I get back, there’s a lovely bouquet of flowers on the counter.

  “You got a delivery while you were gone,” Jenna announces with a smirk.

  I rest my arms on the counter and stretch my calves as curiosity has me leaning toward the little white card that reads, Cate Forbes. “From who?”

  “My guess is they’re from Drew, that’s who,” Jenna says, moving closer to face me.

  “Right.” I laugh because I know my best friend. “You bought them and are pretending they’re from Drew, didn’t you?”

  Jenna actually has the decency to look appalled. With fingers at the hollow of her throat, she says, “Seriously. You think I would do that?”

  “Yes, I do.” I nod at the same time.

  “Damn. You don’t think very highly of me, do you?”

  “Yes, I do. I love you, in fact. But when you set your mind on something, deviant Jenna comes out in full force.”

  She rolls her eyes and giggles. “Okay, so I did not send the flowers, but now I wish I had.”

  This is confusing. “You really didn’t?”

  “I’ll pinky swear if you want.” She holds out her finger.

  So if she didn’t, then that Drew dude must have. I walk back to the flowers and with hesitant fingers reach for the little card that came with them.

  “It won’t bite, you know.” Jenna’s sarcasm reaches me from across the room.

  I grab the card and read it.

  I would love a chance to take you to dinner.

  Drew McKnight.

  “What does it say?”

  Perplexed, I mumble, “Oh my. He’s asked me to dinner. And these are beautiful. I’ve never gotten flowers before.” I lean in to inhale their fragrance.

  “They are and when did he ask you out? And don’t frown. You know my mom says that’s a sure way to create early wrinkles.”

  This whole flower thing has me completely shocked. No one has ever done anything so sweet like this for me before. “No set date, just that he’d like to take me.”

  “Oh my god.”

  “Don’t get your panties all wet over this.” I say that but in reality, I’m the one getting nervous.

  “You swear you don’t remember him? He was with my brother the entire night. And the two of you had a cozy little chat going.”

  Grabbing her arm, I squeak, “No I don’t remember! Help me, Jenna! I was hammered. I barely remember seeing Ben.” The night is fuzzy at best. “Wait a minute. If he’s Ben’s friend, how old is this dude?”

  “Ben’s age.”

  “What? That would make him what? Twenty-seven?”

  “Yeah, probably.”

  “Jeez. That’s like gramps. No way can I go out with a man that old.”

  “He’s in his second year of residency. He’s a doctor.” She says it like she’s dangling a golden carrot in front of my face.

  “So? That’s supposed to make him datable? I don’t care if he’s the President of the United States’ son. He’s too old for me. He’s probably ready for a wife or something. I’m trying to finish school not start a family.”


  “Damn, Cate, calm down. It’s not like he’s twenty years older than you. It’s seven. That’s it. Lots of girls our age date guys seven years older than they are.”

  “Oh yeah? Like who.”

  “That Scarlett chick from our English class freshman year. She did.”

  “Yeah, and she’s slept with almost every guy at Purdue. She keeps the Boilermakers running strong. She singlehandedly kept the entire fourth year mechanical engineering guys in blow jobs that year.”

  “Pure conjecture.”

  “Pure? That’s not a word I would use in the same sentence that had anything to do with Scarlett.”

  “Damn, are you hardheaded. Just go out with him. One date. If you don’t like him or you think he’s too old after that, then fine. You don’t ever have to see him again.”

  When I put some thought into it, there must have been some kind of spark between us for me to have spent time with him at the party, even if I was a little wasted. That’s not the type of thing I normally do. My style is to stay clear of all guys.

  “Okay… I’ll do it. Give him my cell number. But please don’t give me a hard time if it doesn’t work out, especially since he’s friends with Ben.”

  “No worries on that, my friend.”

  Later that night, I’m running through my to do list on the number of papers I have to write and how many will require a significant amount of research. Having a double major is not much of a picnic, but I couldn’t make a choice between accounting and journalism, so here I am, writing my ass off. But honestly, I love it.

  When my phone rings, I answer it without looking at the caller ID. I figure it’s my mom. She usually calls at this hour because she knows it’s the best time to catch me.

  “Hey, Mom.”

  A crazy sexy voice answers, “Um yeah, this isn’t Mom. This is Drew…” When I don’t respond, he adds, “McKnight.”

  Shit. Drew. Flower and date man. Gramps! “Oh, hey. W-what’s up?” I stutter. This weird nervousness settles over me because I can’t remember anything about him and suddenly I feel terrible about it. But if he’s half as good looking as he sounds or as Jenna says, I might be in trouble.

  “Jenna gave me your number.” His voice is warm and breezy and makes me remember just how long my lady parts have been neglected.

  “Yes! Thank you so much for the flowers. They’re gorgeous. That was very sweet of you,” I add.

  “You’re welcome. I, um, didn’t know how else to get you to agree to a date.”

  Now I feel bad. It makes me feel bitchy that he had to go to those lengths. “Oh, I didn’t …”

  “No worries, Cate. I was only giving you a taste of my good, old-fashioned, southern charm.” I sense a smile behind his words and immediately feel better.

  “Well, it worked. How could I possibly say no to flowers?” Did I just flirt with him? I need to pull it together. He’s putting a huge dent in my no dating wall and I need to remind myself that I don’t have time to date.

  “Are you occupied on Saturday?”

  Occupied? Who asks if someone is occupied? I have to stifle a laugh.

  “Let me check.” Of course I’m not, but I don’t want him to think I’m the loser that I am. So I let several seconds pass before I answer. “No, I’m free.” The words slip out because Jenna’s right. I have been spending way too much time on the computer. One night of harmless fun won’t cause me to lose my scholarship.

  “Great! I’d love to take you to dinner.”

  “Nice.” I pause because I’m smiling. I bite my lip to stop it from growing. This isn’t good. “I can meet you,” I toss out.

  “No, I’ll pick you up. Is seven okay?”

  “Seven is perfect. I can text you my address.”

  “Not necessary. Remember, I sent you flowers? Ben was kind enough to give it to me.”

  Shit. What a dumbass. “Oh, right.”

  “The truth, Cate, is I actually helped Ben move Jenna in.”

  “Oh.” This surprises me. “I didn’t know.”

  “Do you like Italian?”

  “I like everything, but Italian is my favorite.”

  “Excellent, Italian it is. And it’ll be fairly casual.”

  “Sounds great.” I’m getting ready to end the call, but something stops me. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  Taking a deep breath, I take the plunge. “Why me? Obviously I’m only a junior in college and we don’t really know each other, other than the party.”

  “When I pointed you out to Ben at the party, he gave me an earful and I was even more intrigued, so I sought you out. After our conversation, I knew I wanted to get to know you better.”

  I chew the tip of my pen. “Our conversation?”

  “Yeah. How we talked about Charleston.”

  “Um …”

  His chuckle is dark with an intoxicating kick like whiskey going down the first time. “You don’t remember it, do you?”

  “I’m not gonna lie. I don’t. I’m sorry. I blame it on the alcohol.”

  “Like the song, huh?” He laughs. “We talked about how funny it was we never met, even though we were both from Charleston and you were Jenna’s best friend and I was Ben’s. Ring a bell?”

  My hand automatically reaches for the back of my neck and rubs it. Oh my god, why can’t I remember this? I’m never drinking again. “No, and I’m beyond embarrassed to admit it.”

  He laughs again and this time the sound sends warm shivers down my spine. Wow! That’s never happened before. Warm shivers.

  “Cate, don’t worry about it. Want to know what else you told me?”

  “Oh god. I’m not sure,” I croak.

  The deep reverberations of his chuckle make my belly tighten. What is it about him? And I can’t even remember what he looks like, dammit!

  “It’s not that bad, really.”

  “Okay, what?”

  “You wanted to know what a guy like me was doing at a party like that. I said I was hanging out with Ben. Then you wanted particulars. I told you what I did and you whispered in my ear that if I were a gynecologist, you’d never come to my office for a visit for fear you’d embarrass yourself during the exam.”

  Jesus Christmas. I cover my face with a pillow. I’m way past mortified and don’t know what to say.

  “Cate, are you there?”

  “Uuuggghhh,” I groan. This is worse than I expected.

  “It was pretty damn cute, I have to say.”

  “Did I do anything else that will warp my life forever?”

  “Nah, just some things about me being sexy, but I can’t recall the specifics.”

  Translation—he doesn’t want to embarrass me any further.

  “Sexy? I called you sexy to your face?” The heat in my cheeks will probably melt my skin off.

  “You did and turned every shade of red when you realized you said it out loud.”

  I try to speak again, but my words are muffled because I’ve buried my face in the pillow again. I sit up and decide to just put it out there.

  “So now the question remains—why do you want to go out with a girl who made a fool out of herself the first time you met her?”

  “To be completely honest, Cate, I found your frankness refreshing—especially in a beautiful woman like yourself. Even in your slightly inebriated condition, you were witty and sexy. If I could’ve talked you into going home with me, I would have. However, Ben would’ve killed me.”

  My mouth curves into a huge grin. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  My body heats with his admission. And this is just a phone conversation. What the heck will he be like in the flesh? “Well then Drew, I look forward to meeting you again.”

  “Great. And Cate?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I promise not to act like a gramps. See you at seven on Saturday.” The humor in his tone is unmistakable.

  I’m going to kill Jenna. Very slowly and painfully.

 
Saturday at seven sharp, my doorbell buzzes. When I open it, I look up into the most beautiful pair of cerulean eyes. They crinkle at the corners when he smiles, and then I get the whole picture. Drew is in no way a gramps. He is definitely smokin’ hot. Sin on a graham cracker, in Jenna’s words. And in mine—a hot fudge sundae, with whipped cream, and a cherry on top, plus chocolate cake with buttercream icing.

  Thick wavy sandy brown hair that’s been kissed by the sun caps his head. It’s messy like he just ran his hands through it, but it makes me want to sink my fingers in and play sexy time. In a very bad way. High cheekbones, a nose that’s neither too small nor too large, and lips that make me swallow before drool runs out of my mouth come together to create a beautiful face. Perfect teeth gleam as he continues to grin. This is no average college boy that stands before me. And I’m speechless. How in the hell could I have forgotten a face like this?

  “I take it you approve?” Even his voice is perfect. The southern drawl I miss so much living here in the Midwest has me breaking out in a huge grin.

  “I’m sorry. I just wanted to see if looking at you would help me remember.” That’s not true and I’m pretty sure he knows it.

  He chuckles as I sneak in several more peeks at him. He’s broad-shouldered with a wide chest that tapers down to a narrow waist. My hormones rage like a teenager as I salivate for a look underneath his button down shirt. I’d love to see if he has a six-y or an eight-y. I’m also curious to see his V because I’m damned sure he’s got one. He wears dark jeans that ride low on his hips as they mold to his body. I’d like to ask him to pirouette so I can inspect his ass, but I refrain.

  “Well?” His crooked grin only adds to his appeal.

  “Okay, I’m busted.” I raise my hands in the air. I’ve always been shy about what I want, and only tell Jenna the truth. I guess what I thought were surreptitious glances weren’t quite as secretive as I intended them to be. What the hell has gotten into me?