Cruel & Beautiful

by A. M. Hargrove

  It’s an odd thing for him to say with his date or companion sitting right across from us.

  “It was a fun evening.” I wish again I’d cabbed it.

  When the limo pulls to a stop and I see my building through the window I’m grateful that I live in the city near most everything.

  “Thanks for the ride,” I say as Ted exits and helps me out of the car and onto the slick sidewalk.

  He walks me all the way to the front entrance. He takes my hand and kisses it. “Lovely Cate, I’m sorry Pet made you feel uncomfortable. But I’m glad I got to spend more time with you. Until Monday.”

  He kisses my hand again before he walks back to the limo. By the time I make it up to my apartment, my phone blows up with texts from Jenna.

  Jenna: I’m so mad. I’m headed back to your place.

  Jenna: I can’t believe him.

  Jenna: I’m mad at both of them.

  The texts are coming in so fast. My own reply keeps getting derailed. I have to wonder if I’d hit a dead spot and the texts are finally showing up on my phone. Finally, I get my text off to her.

  Me: I’m home.

  Jenna: Good. I’m on my way up.

  I’ve barely placed my bag down when I hear keys rattling in the door. Jenna bursts through like a hurricane. She halts when she sees me. “What happened to you?”

  “You first,” I say because she must have left right after me. “Why are you here and not with Kenneth?”

  She sighs and plants herself on the sofa which lets out air much like her own sigh. Another reminder—never order furniture online without sitting on it to test it out. I sit on the opposite end and face her waiting for her to spill her guts.

  “Everything was going great until Brandon texted me. I thought it was you, so I didn’t hide my display when I looked at it.”

  I can tell she’s worried because she begins to bite her nail, a nasty habit that only shows its head when she is stressed, which isn’t often.

  “Okay, we need to back up a little. Who is Brandon anyway? I thought your mechanic is named Brandon.”

  “He is,” she says glancing heavenward.

  “So why is your mechanic texting you on a Saturday night?” I ask, staring at her pointedly.

  “That was Kenny’s question.” She tosses up her hand like it’s ridiculous. “He also wondered why I had a picture of Brandon siting on my couch as his profile picture on my phone.”

  “And?” I ask because I happen to agree.

  “And Kenny has no reason to be jealous. Brandon and I are just friends. We talk. There can’t possibly be more. Can you imagine me bringing Brandon home to meet my parents? They’d freak just at the sight of his tattoos. It’s just that he listens to me, you know.” She stops to catch her breath. When she begins again, her first words sound like she’s reading the opening line of a novel. “It began one day when the laws of the universe conspired against me. My car was in for an oil change. And he insisted on getting coffee for me and me getting my shit, as he says, off my chest. And we…” She waves her hand grasping for a word. “Clicked.”

  My brows rise and she begins to back pedal.

  “As friends. I don’t know what Kenny has to be jealous of. Kenny’s going places. One day he’ll be a Senator like his Dad and I’ll be his wife. He’s exactly the kind of guy I should be with.”

  When Jenna gets like this, it’s best not to argue. I don’t agree so I change the direction of the conversation.

  “Let’s see this picture of Brandon.”

  Hesitantly, she pulls her phone out of her clutch. As she scrolls, I can tell when she’s reached the picture. Her whole face lights up. She hands it over. There, with a smirk that spells bad boy, is the object of Jenna’s affection whether she wants to admit it or not. “He’s hot.”

  She shrugs and I take in the flop of dark hair and sleeves of tattoos. The boy has a face that would make girls lift their skirts, that’s for sure.

  “You like him,” I say, because it’s not really a question based on her body language.

  She sighs again. “I’m in like with him,” she finally admits. “Now it’s your turn. What did you do at the party, because you look like Louise finally got hammered and not in an alcohol way?”

  At least she admits she may have a thing for this Brandon guy. So I tell her about dancing with Kenneth’s friend, then Ted. “He was there,” I whine.

  “Who was there?” Her face is screwed up with confusion.

  “Andy.”

  Her jaw drops … and stays there.

  “Exactly. One minute I’m dancing with Ted, the next I’m doing the Tango with Drew. Then there is this freaking sexy song and I’m on fire. I want him so bad, so what do I do? I run.”

  “Not again,” Jenna sighs.

  “I couldn’t help it. My heart was on fire and it hurt from all the pressure. I swear I wanted him and hated him in the same moment.”

  “And then what?” Her eyebrow lifts in question.

  “I let him screw me on the balcony. Who does that? It was hot and dirty and freaking right out in the open where anyone could see.”

  A giant puff of air whooshes out of her lungs. “Whoa. Sounds more than hot.” She raises her hands toward the ceiling and grins. “Thank baby Jesus, Louise finally got serviced.”

  I grab a pillow and toss it at her. “It’s not funny. He gave me the best orgasm I’ve had in ages and walks away. Why would he do that?”

  She purses her lips and I can tell she thinks I should know the answer. “Oh, I don’t know. To teach you what it feels like to be the one left standing when someone runs away from you?”

  I close my mouth and drop my head. “So this is my fault.”

  She moves over and wraps me in a hug. “I love you, Catie Bear, but Drew…” When I give her the evil eye, she corrects herself. “Andy has to be fed up with all this running you do.”

  “So I’m wrong.”

  She pulls back and glances at me. “It’s not a matter of being wrong. You need to decide what you want. You need to forgive yourself and give him a chance or move on for good. You can’t keep hiding away and not going out because you’re afraid to love him or anyone else.”

  “I need some wine,” I say, because she’s right.

  “I need some ice cream. So let’s have both.”

  After filling our bellies as we teasingly man-hate, I toss and turn so much during the night that Jenna ends up sleeping on the couch. When morning comes, we spend the rest of our day together down on the National Mall and that’s not code for shopping. We take selfies making it look like the Washington Monument is in our hands and we give Abe the he’s looking good eye wink in our selfie with him. It’s so hard when we grab an Uber to take her to the airport. I glue myself to her until she promises another visit soon if I just let her go.

  The other reason for the Uber is that I’ve decided to go see Andy at work. He has rounds at the hospital today. Thanks to Jenna’s detective skills by calling his office and feigning an emergency, the call service gives up his location. God, I love that girl.

  The Uber ride to the airport and then to see Andy is a bit long, but I realize it’s something I must do. Andy is a great guy and I’d be stupid not to take this second chance with him.

  Channeling my inner Jenna, I manage to find out where the Oncology Department is from the person at the information desk at the hospital. More importantly, I procure a visitor’s badge so I won’t be accosted by security as I roam the halls. It is a matter of a tiny lie about surprising my brother, the doctor, on his birthday that does the trick.

  I’m excited as exit the elevator. I think about pulling Andy in a supply closet and having my way with him. I’m practically vibrating with need as I finally make it to the cancer ward when it hits me. I have to stop because it feels like something has a vice grip on my heart. I can’t breathe. All it takes is to see a female patient with a hairless head to be reminded of just where I am and all the memories flood back. I lean against a wall
wondering how Andy does it. How can he stand to be here? It hurts me so much and I know he wants to help people beat this nasty disease. I know that. I steel my spine and control my breathing. This is part of the package, Cate. If you can’t deal, you need to walk away from him.

  I conjure an image of Andy in my head. He’s worth it, I tell myself three times then I straighten and begin to walk. There is a gaggle of nurses animatedly chattering at a nurses’ station I pass. They remind me that it’s not all death and total destruction of the heart on this floor.

  “She’s with him right now,” I hear one of them say.

  Gossip is a fact of work life, I think. I should call Mandy and see how her weekend went with Daniel. I have to remember that even with Jenna not in town, I’m not alone.

  As I turn a corner, a flash of movement down an alcove catches my attention. I have to cover my mouth to stop the gasp of air from escaping. The wild cap of dirty blonde hair above a blonde sporting a ponytail is enough for me to make out Drew with his lips attached to another woman. I don’t waste time as my feet squeak on the tiled floor. I run and this time it’s with good reason.

  On the sidewalk outside, a blast of frosty air hits me. Snowflakes begin to fall and I try to decide if I should set up another Uber or just take one of the taxis waiting at the curb. I am downtown and cabs are plentiful. I head over and get into the first one in line.

  “Where are you headed?” An older guy who reminds me of my Dad asks.

  “DC.”

  “Whoa, lady, that’ll cost you. The Marc and Amtrak train station is only a few blocks away. It would be a lot cheaper.”

  I could catch a train to Union Station, and then take the subway home. I have a feeling none of the cabbies will want to make the trip and it might be faster than waiting for an Uber to show up after I book it. “Take me to the train station then. And thank you for the tip.”

  “No worries. We’re heading into the holiday season soon. We all need to save our pennies.”

  I nod, grateful for some friendly and honest people. Luck is with me. An Amtrak train will arrive in minutes. The ticket is less than twenty dollars, which is a steal. The ride gives me time to wonder what’s changed about Andy. He’s clearly not the person I remembered, but then again, neither am I. That night, I barely sleep and make it to Ted’s office feeling ragged.

  “He will see you now,” his admin advises. Her perfect smile is a little too perfect to be real. However, my brain is sleep deprived and I can only hope to get through this meeting without making a fool of myself. My words are a jumbled mess in my head. My points all seem pointless.

  “Cate,” Ted says halfway to the door to greet me.

  I let him take my hands and I give him a professional shake.

  “Have a seat.”

  His office is massive and the row of windows behind his desk give a perfect view of the Capitol. His desk looks heavy and made of solid wood. As he sits, he looks every bit the commander and chief of his domain. I plant myself in a chair that’s more modern than the desk and set my bag on the floor. I admire the artwork splashed around his room, and I mean that literally and not figuratively. Each canvas boasts a splash of abstract art. However, the longer I stare I start to see shapes and maybe objects within the chaos.

  “You like art, Cate?”

  I snap my head in his direction. “I’m not an avid art lover but yours is so unusual it catches the eye.”

  He nods. “They are done by a local artist. I was lucky enough to persuade her to part with them.”

  I can imagine his persuasion and decide not to ask any more questions.

  “So,” he begins. “I received a copy of your report. It seems you believe Jeffery and his team are doing a good job.”

  “I do.”

  “And you weren’t swayed by your fondness for them?”

  “No sir,” I said beginning to feel like a scolded child.

  “Sir? Cate, I’m not that much older than you. Call me Ted.”

  “Of course. Ted it is.”

  “Your only recommendation is to have a set of written policies and procedures.”

  I nod.

  “Great. According to your boss, you also majored in journalism. I think you would be perfect for documenting that process.”

  “I—”

  “I’ve already worked it out with your boss. We will be seeing more of you here.”

  I shut my mouth. As much as I balked about writing in school, I do enjoy it. “Okay,” I say enthusiastically. “However, I do wonder if I could borrow the team and a conference room.” I hold up the shopping bag. “I brought a peace offering. I know they will be upset when they find out why I was really here.”

  He nods. “I think Jeffery is going to miss you. He’s raved about how wonderful you are. He’ll have to start the interview process over again.”

  I want to know about the beef between him and Jeffery but don’t ask. I begin to get up.

  “Cate, just one more thing.”

  I sit back down.

  “I hoped you could help me out. I would like it if you would join me Saturday evening for a charity event.”

  I open my mouth to speak but close it again. I take a moment because I’m tired and I’m not sure I’ve heard him correctly. He clasps his hands and smiles as if he can read my mind.

  “What about…” I begin, but realize I never learned the woman’s name.

  “Pet.”

  I nod.

  “She’ll be out of town visiting her mother this weekend. But Cate, I really like you. I won’t beat around the bush. I want to get to know you better.”

  “But I work for you,” I blurt.

  “Technically you don’t, and not even for appearances’ sake anymore. I’m contracting you out to write policy and procedures that are already in place. So there is no ethical reason we can’t go out.”

  A flash memory of Jeff’s warning about Ted and the sight of Pet on the seat in the limo give me pause. “You seem like a decent guy, but I’m not in the business of dating men who I know are seeing other women.”

  He steeples his fingers. “Why don’t we see how the night goes? I’m not opposed to putting an exclusive label on a relationship for the right woman. And we don’t have to put pressure on ourselves for the night. We’ll just see how it goes with no expectations.”

  Jenna’s advice floods my head. If you’re not going to date Andy, then give someone a chance.

  “Okay.”

  His grin is wide and I can see him calculating his win. I almost backtrack on my agreement.

  “Don’t worry about something to wear. You’re a size four I’m guessing, a thirty-six C in the chest, and a seven or eight shoe.”

  My mouth drops. He’s dead on. “Size eight shoe.”

  “I have your address. I’ll have something sent over on Saturday morning.”

  I think about Jenna and Kenneth sending her clothes. Is that how all wealthy men operate?

  “I can find something on my own to wear.”

  He shakes his head. “Let me for springing this on you at the last minute.” I nod. “Then let’s go inform the team they had a spy in their midst,” he says conspiratorially.

  I groan and he laughs.

  The rest of the week breezes by. I spend part of the time at his office and I’m forgiven by Ted’s accounting team, but I can see the hurt and mistrust in some of their eyes. Ted e-mails them part of my report which gives a glowing review and eases some of the tension. By Friday, I almost accept an invite to hang out with Mandy but I haven’t been sleeping well, so I decline. She makes me promise I’ll go out with her next week when I inform her of my date for Saturday.

  Andy hasn’t called and I’m not sure that’s a blessing or a curse. He’s obviously moved on but it hurts more than I thought it would.

  Saturday comes with a winter mix falling from the sky. Undaunted by the weather, my clothes for the evening arrive as promised by Ted. I stare at the beautiful things he’s sent. The dress is blac
k, classic, and simple, but quite stunning on. The forgiving fabric won’t show the lacy La Perla bra and panties that are included. The garter belt and thigh highs are a surprise, but then again Ted seems very detail oriented. However it’s the red-soled heels that make my heart flutter … until I reach the rectangular box. Inside there is a ribbon choker with a large onyx stone that dangles from it. The stone is crowned in tiny sparkling black jewels. There is also a matching pair of understated stud earrings. I don’t want to be dazzled by his wealth of gifts, but it’s hard not to. I probably have enough time to go out and find a dress of my own.

  “Jenna, what should I do?”

  Her voice is filled with humor. “Let him spoil you. He can afford it. Otherwise, he wouldn’t do it, Cate.”

  What he spent is probably nothing to him. So I dress and fix my hair in an understated, yet elegant do, so it won’t compete with my outfit and jewelry. By the time I get to Ted’s limo, I feel pretty.

  “Cate, you are exquisite.”

  “Thanks. You’re look very handsome yourself.” And he does. He’s classically dressed in a tux with a white shirt and it suits him. “I have to say I’m a little hesitant to wear this jewelry.”

  His finger brushes the stone and I have a moment to wonder if he’ll touch my skin. He moves his hand and the moment is gone. “They are expensive but not so much as you would need a body guard to wear them. And it’s my gift to you. Don’t argue. I can already see it in your eyes. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t want to. And there are no conditions on the gifts. I don’t expect anything from you tonight. We’re just two friends out on the town.”

  Hardly, but I won’t say anything. He isn’t a struggling college graduate. He’s a billionaire and whatever he’s spent on me is probably what he spends on a good bottle of wine.

  I change the subject. “Are you going to tell me where we are headed?”

  His eyes twinkle. “I hope you like the ballet. We are headed to see the Nutcracker opening night. All proceeds benefits one of my favorite charities for kids.”

  The ballet and the Nutcracker to boot. It reminds me how close we are to the holidays. I couldn’t have imagined that it would be a star studded night. We pose for pictures on a red carpet. I feel mystified how my life has changed in the last couple of weeks. This marks the third event I’ve been to where celebrities in attendance are not by chance but expected.