Wingspan

by Karis Walsh

  Ken remembered a comment Steve had made when she was drawing one of her first fantasy houses. If you’re building a house for a dragon, you gotta make it wide enough for its wings. Ken had designed the right annex for Bailey because she knew Bailey. Knowing Bailey meant understanding the importance of her raptors, of transparency and visibility, of light and natural beauty. With Vince, she had been designing a house for one guy, but she wasn’t taking into account the way he lived, what defined him. Vince had never said he liked watching movies. He had said we. Everything had been about his team, his teammates. Ken had been trying to design some version of a standard house for him, but the guy wanted a damned locker room.

  Ken left the model and specs on her desk and grabbed a pad and a pen instead. She burst into the conference room just as Randy was finishing his landscape presentation.

  “Are you ready, Ken?” Joe asked, seemingly unfazed by her altered dress and her lack of models and sketches.

  “I am, thanks. Vince, good to see you again.” She shook hands with him and sat down, opening her pad to a fresh sheet of paper. “I believe I’ve designed the perfect house where you and your teammates will be able to relax and enjoy each other’s company.”

  Ken rapidly sketched out a building with four connected wings. A hint of a baseball diamond. She tapped the section corresponding to home plate. “This central part will be your main entertaining space. A sunken living room, movie screen, plenty of seating. I’m picturing a pizza oven as the central focus of the kitchen, because let’s face it, even a frozen pizza tastes better when it’s made in a pizza oven.”

  Vince laughed and leaned over for a closer look at her sketch. “What’s along this wall?”

  “Cubbies for all your friends,” Ken said, darkening the cross-hatching along the wall. “A playful version of your team’s locker room, so everyone has a place to store personal items like beer mugs.”

  Ken turned to a new page and sketched the wings of the house. She felt Joe and the others clustered behind her, watching her draw, but her hand didn’t falter as she worked. She described the apartment suites where out-of-town guests would have privacy and comfort, a weight room large enough to accommodate an entire team, and a game viewing room with an entire wall covered with a whiteboard for writing notes and plays. Dougie had been right. She was designing a house just for Vince, but there were memories of Steve in some of her lines and curves. And hints of Bailey in some of her shapes.

  Ken finished her impromptu presentation and sat back in her chair. Vince flipped through the pages one more time, pausing on a detailed sketch of the main kitchen.

  “You’ll show me how to use the pizza oven?” he asked.

  “I’d be delighted,” Ken said. “I’ll make my top-secret version of Hawaiian pizza for your housewarming party.”

  “I’ll count on it,” Vince said, shaking her hand again. “I love your ideas. You designed the exact house I didn’t know I wanted.”

  Joe patted her shoulder. “Excellent job, Ken. As I expected, of course.”

  Ken smiled. She hadn’t expected it herself, but she had pulled it off. With some help from Dougie and, in a way, Steve. And Bailey. Always Bailey.

  Dougie stopped her as they were leaving the conference room. “You’re back?” he asked.

  Ken gave him a quick hug. “Getting there. It’s a start,” she said. A good start.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Ken got out of her car and stared at the mammoth skeleton. Her design had been a series of lines and curves on a piece of paper only weeks earlier, but now it was taking shape right in front of her. She walked over to the wing-shaped structure and stood inside, looking down the long, arced hallway just as she had imagined doing when she had first drawn the sketch. She had seen hundreds of her box-shaped houses brought to life, but she had never felt such a sense of possessiveness, as if this building contained a part of her.

  It did, in a way. It represented her imagination and her ability to take a vague concept and turn it into a functional and tangible building. She had already created several more designs for Impetus, each feeling as personal and authentically hers as this one and the one she’d designed for Vince, and she didn’t plan to stop. She could no more go back to rehashing old floor plans than she could go back to living in the city and not close to her land.

  Ken ran her hand over the smooth side of a two-by-four before she left the building through the space where a door would eventually be. She was heading toward Bailey’s house when she heard laughter and voices coming from the backyard. She changed course and came around the corner of the house to find Bailey standing near her new flight cages. The steady music of an artificial stream was a pleasant backdrop to the sound of Bailey’s voice as she talked to a group of students sitting cross-legged in front of her.

  Ken edged nearer, out of Bailey’s direct line of sight, and listened to her lecturing about restraining raptors during treatment. Bailey told a story about her first attempt to put a hood on a falcon, and Ken laughed along with the students when she recognized the story as one Bailey had told her on the way to their hiking trip. As if recognizing the sound of her laughter, Bailey turned toward her. Ken had been rehearsing this moment for weeks, but all of her careful notes and phrasing flew away on the light breeze. She’d have to follow her heart, not her planned script, and hope Bailey understood.

  Ken ran a shaky hand through her hair while she watched Bailey signal for Dani to take over her class before walking across the lawn toward Ken. She had no idea what kind of reception she’d receive, and Bailey’s wary expression didn’t give her any reassurance. Ken realized her entire life was approaching her. Bailey could so easily walk away, leaving Ken empty and bereft.

  “Did you bring me another bird?” Bailey asked. She stood a few feet away and only needed to cross her arms over her chest to give the full don’t touch me effect.

  “Not this time,” Ken said. “Well, unless you count the eagle half of a griffin.”

  “It depends,” Bailey said, with a hint of a smile. “I hear they can tear your heart out with their talons.”

  Ken clenched her fists at her sides. “I’m sorry, Bailey. I should never have let you go. I just…What you said on our hike cut deep, but it made an opening for the part of me I’d buried inside to get out. I’ve been designing again. Dreaming again. But you’re the only dream I really care about coming true.”

  Bailey avoided eye contact and looked toward the shell of her annex. “Good, Ken. You deserve to be recognized for your talent, but more important, you deserve to be happy doing the work you love.”

  “I don’t only mean architecture, Bailey. That’s one part of me you brought back to life. But more than my job, you gave me something else.” Ken wrapped her fingers around Bailey’s upper arm and tugged her toward the annex. Maybe the beams and shapes would help her say what Bailey needed to hear. What she so desperately needed to say. “I accused you of keeping people out, but I was the same way. I was terrified to let anyone trust me again, scared I’d let them down like I did with Steve.”

  Ken stopped once they were standing on the plywood floor of the annex. Bailey opened her mouth as if to protest against the comment about Steve, but Ken pressed her index finger against Bailey’s lips. She fought to concentrate on words instead of the feel of Bailey’s soft mouth. “I know what happened to him wasn’t my failure. I could only do so much to help him, and I tried my best. I’m working to come to terms with that. But I let that event shut me down, pull me away from everything and everyone I used to love. I almost let it pull me away from you.”

  Bailey felt her universe pause for a long moment. The words love and you placed so close together made her inhale with hope. So close. She moved Ken’s hand away from her lips, wrapping her fingers tightly around it while she gestured behind her with her other hand, toward the students who were scattered around her lawn. “I understand. I was afraid of rejection, of getting close and being hurt, and when you turned me away, I thoug
ht I’d learn my lesson and not trust anyone again. But I didn’t. I’ve let people in, Ken, and it’s because of you. The birds and I are getting accustomed to having more activity in our home, and it wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t shown up with the osprey.”

  “Home,” Ken repeated the word. She took a step closer and raised her hands to cup Bailey’s chin, turning her head so Bailey looked directly at her. “A couple months ago, Dougie asked me what home meant to me. I’ve had different answers come to mind, but yesterday when I watched them break ground on my property, I knew the truth. I had thought that acre was my home, but I was wrong. Bailey, you are home to me. Wherever you are, however many birds you bring with you. Even if there are bags of mealworms thawing on our table. If you’re there with me, then I’m home.”

  Bailey raised her hands to cover Ken’s and, for an agonizing second, didn’t know if she was going to push Ken’s hands away, or if she was strong enough to hold them close.

  “We can keep the mealworms in the intern’s fridge,” Bailey said, and then she reached up and kissed Ken quickly on the mouth, feeling Ken’s smile forming against her own lips. She moved away and looked over at her class, but Dani waved her off with a grin. She had plenty of stories already, in her short time as Bailey’s intern, to entertain the students for the last few minutes of their orientation.

  “Speaking of the intern’s living quarters…” She walked quickly through the annex toward the walled-off section at the far end. She’d wanted Ken for so long, had been resigned to losing her. She couldn’t bear to go another second without touch, without crawling out of her own skin and under Ken’s. “Maybe you’d like a tour?”

  “I’d love one.” Ken followed Bailey through the unfinished wood door leading to the enclosed portion of the annex. She stopped suddenly once they were inside the empty room, pulling Bailey off balance and into her arms. She burrowed her nose in Bailey’s hair, inhaling the scent of apples and woods and meadow breezes. “And in case I haven’t been clear, I love you.”

  Bailey turned to face Ken, hooking her arms behind Ken’s neck and leaning their foreheads together. “I love you, too,” she said, before finally allowing herself the kiss she’d been wanting to share with Ken for so long.

  Ken sighed as Bailey’s tongue slipped into her mouth. The kiss was everything she’d expected from Bailey. Agile and expressive and sensitive. Matching her in desire and strength. No desperation or fear, as there had been after the trip to Poulsbo. A familiarity in their touch, as there had been in the meadow. Ken pulled Bailey’s pale yellow T-shirt out of the way of her mouth, and finally—careful not to rip the soft fabric—slid it over her head and threw it onto the floor. She dragged her tongue over the sharply defined tan lines on Bailey’s chest and neck, and the increased pressure from her mouth was directly rewarded by the tightening grip of Bailey’s hands in her hair.

  Ken pressed Bailey gently against the particleboard wall and dropped gentle kisses around her mouth, watching her eyes change from a deer-like reddish brown to the deeper shade of a forest floor after a rain as Ken unhooked her bra. She tentatively circled Bailey’s breasts, teasing her nipples with only her fingertips as she kept vigilant for any sign she was moving too fast.

  Bailey sighed, arching toward Ken’s elusive hands. She had expected Ken to be on her like a bird of prey mating, taking her with all the passion and intensity she knew Ken possessed. Bailey wasn’t opposed to leisurely lovemaking sessions, and she could definitely imagine spending entire days in bed with Ken, but she sensed something else. A holding back. A hint of fear. Giving her too much time to think and not enough to feel.

  “Ouch!” Ken moved her head a few inches away, an expression of surprise mixed with laughter on her face. “You bite like a falcon.”

  Bailey shook her head. “If I did, you’d be bleeding.” She grabbed the belt loops on Ken’s jeans and jerked Ken’s hips firmly against her own. “Ken, I won’t break. I can be scatterbrained and oblivious at times. And I think I cry more than most people. But I’m not fragile. I’m strong, and I love you, and I want you. You can love me without worrying about hurting me.”

  A series of emotions seemed to cross Ken’s face. Bailey thought she could identify some of them. Hesitation, relief, gratitude. Feelings as complex and varied as Ken herself. Bailey didn’t have long to sort them out, though, as Ken descended on her once more, with no doubt or caution. A thrusting kiss, naked breasts pressed against slippery silk, Ken’s thigh between her legs. Bailey’s thoughts and concerns were shoved out of her mind, replaced by a wild and shared longing, a jumble of sensations. Her legs were pushed apart, and she drove her crotch against Ken’s leg. Before she could form the words I’m coming, she’d collapsed into the support of Ken’s embrace. Her mind raced frantically to catch up with her body.

  Ken laughed, feeling Bailey’s hair tickle her face when she did. “Was that what you needed?” she asked. She braced one hand against the wall and cradled Bailey in the other.

  “Why, yes, it was.” Bailey’s voice stammered slightly, and Ken felt an absurdly proud I did that to her awareness rush over her. “How’d you know?”

  “I guess I figured it out when”—Ken’s own voice hitched when Bailey unbuttoned her shirt, using her fingers and tongue to trace the ornate tattoos—“when I stopped worrying about what I might be doing wrong and concentrated on you.”

  “Very good,” Bailey murmured against her skin. She unzipped Ken’s slacks and pressed her palm against Ken’s stomach, sliding lower as she grazed her teeth gently over Ken’s nipple. “Because I want you to love me without restraint or fear. And I’ll return the favor.”

  Ken moved her other hand to the wall, struggling to hold herself upright while Bailey’s hands explored her. The smell of arousal and the woodsy scent of the construction site enveloped her. The slight sucking sounds of Bailey’s mouth and Ken’s own wetness brought her to the edge of a climax faster than she’d expected. Bailey’s fingers stroked inside her, but she’d already gone far deeper into Ken. Into her past, her fears, her dreams and longings. Ken came hard, releasing more than pent-up energy as she gave herself over to the healing power of Bailey’s hands.

  Chapter Twenty

  Ken stood at her drafting table, a beam of spring sunlight falling over the blank paper in front of her. She was trying to work, but she was too busy listening for Bailey’s car to concentrate. She gave up the pretense and stared out the heavily paned window at the Strait of Juan de Fuca. The water was choppy today, but brightly lit by the May sun. A beautiful place to live, and soon it would be a real home for her and Bailey.

  The tree trunk house Ken had planned and designed had been finished for over six months. She and Bailey had decorated it together, but they wouldn’t officially move in until June when Dani graduated from WSU and moved into Bailey’s house as her full-time assistant, joining Luke, Bailey’s latest intern. Ken would finally be home after so many years of roaming and searching. She had found everything she wanted.

  The sound of tires on gravel brought her hurrying out the front door and over to the car. Bailey jumped out, smiling even though her eyes were red with tears. Ken was very familiar with Bailey’s release-day emotions. The sadness of letting go, the joy of a healed bird being set free. She slid her fingers through Bailey’s hair and leaned over for a kiss. She pulled away all too soon, not wanting to keep Bailey’s cargo waiting.

  “How’d the capture go?” she asked as she and Bailey each took a side of the heavy wooden carrier and lowered it to the ground.

  “He led us on quite a chase, but Luke finally got him cornered. I tried to explain where he was going, but he didn’t want to leave the flight cage.”

  “Who could blame him? You’ve made the clinic into a wonderful sanctuary.”

  Bailey kissed her on the cheek. “We did that together,” she said. “But no matter how nice it is, it’s no match for freedom.”

  “No, it’s not. So let’s give this guy a chance to fly free ag
ain.”

  Ken lifted her side of the carrier and they slowly carried it behind the house and down to the edge of the bluff. Ken was surprised by the feel of her breath constricting in her chest. She had watched Bailey release birds before and she always felt a thrill of excitement as they flew away, but this was different. This was her osprey. It had been a long winter, but now he was ready to move on.

  They set the carrier on the edge of the lawn. Bailey stepped back in silence, giving Ken the honor of unlatching the lid. The bird stood on the wooden platform for a long moment. He hopped to the edge of the carrier and tilted his head, looking up at her with golden eyes before turning his attention to the trees and sky above him. In a sudden burst of movement, he spread his wings and launched into the air.

  Bailey came up behind her and wrapped her arms tightly around Ken’s waist. Ken covered Bailey’s hands with her own, grateful for the touch as she thought about the day when she had first stumbled upon the injured bird. Almost a full year ago. She had taken the osprey to Bailey’s for healing, never expecting to be healed herself. By Bailey’s love, her touch, her spirit.

  Ken watched the osprey until he disappeared from sight. She turned in Bailey’s arms and let her lover wipe the tears out of her eyes, let her kiss away the sorrow of saying good-bye.

  “They change lives, these birds of yours,” Ken said. She led Bailey to one of the chairs by the bluff and sat down. Bailey curled in her lap, her long legs crossed and draped over the arm of the chair and her head resting on Ken’s shoulder.

  “If you hadn’t found the osprey…”

  “And if Vonda hadn’t found the eagle…”

  Their voices trailed off. Bailey knew neither one of them wanted to finish their sentences. A year ago, she had been dreaming of a life of solitude, just her and her birds. Then one small osprey had wedged his way into her life, bringing with him Ken and her past and her visions for the annex, forcing Bailey to open her heart to the others who were trying to share her life.