I am quiet. I’m holding Archer’s hand, but my arm has gone numb and I can’t even feel his touch anymore. This little group of friends and family are my supporters, my most loyal subjects. People who I like and who like me.
Being the Kingmaker and a royal princess was a strange and isolated upbringing. My life was filled with people; little maids serving me, bringing me anything I wanted at any time of the day. I had lessons with different teachers for each subject. I nagged to be allowed to join in with Macsen and Millard. We’d ride horses, practice archery. My path crossed with hundreds of people every day. There were jousts and feasts and players and singers, visitors from one end of the Realm and the other. Life was busy and full but I was completely lonely. My only friends were Lanorie and Will. One a servant and one a fool in the making.
There has never been a person who chose to be with me and spend time with me because they liked me, apart from Will, and he did everything he could to make our time together good. And it was. We laughed and played about and were silly and daft. But I wasn’t normal.
I wasn’t a commoner in the village, a little urchin running around with the other children. I couldn’t play in the river on a hot day or chase puppies through the woods. I couldn’t pick fruit or hunt rabbits or kiss boys.
I spent a lot of time imagining my death. My entry in to the Kingmaker book. My little life, my short story. How can any Kingmaker make her mark on the world when her only job is to die and choose a new King?
I didn’t have ideas, or thoughts, or choices.
But now I do.
The whole Realm has opened up to me and everything has changed. I can plan things; I can make things happen. I pull my hand away from Archer’s and it startles him; he was probably as deep in thought as I was. “Alright?” I love the concern on his face. He cares about me and worries about me.
“Fine. Worried about Will. But fine.”
I stand up needing to move when there’s a knock at the door and it’s pushed open. Archer and Weaver have their hands on their weapons before the door fully opens and we see Ceryn and Will.
She’s in a right mess – blood gushing from a cut above her eyebrow and Will’s lip is bleeding. He runs towards me and I have to catch him; his legs give way and we sink to the floor in a huddle. He is crying and so am I. When I complain about a boring childhood with no friends, I am not speaking ill of Will. This boy would have died to save my life the night he took my place in my bed and my brother Macsen stabbed him. I thank the gods every day that Macsen was a terrible swordsman and I will thank the gods every day that Millard spared him this morning from the noose. He is my favourite person, above even Archer. He’s like my family, like a brother. I love him and I know him, like I know myself. He’s part of my heart. I am so happy that he’s alive and that we’re together again I never want to let go of him. The sight of him and the smell of him and the sound of his voice are so familiar to me, so calming.
“I am so sorry,” he says to me and I shush him.
If we all want to apologise for the things that have been said and done since I made the river rise none of us would ever get anything else done. I smile at Cook as she places a heap of goodies on the table, before kissing me and bustling away.
“We’ve got Wolf,” Ceryn says, her eyes dancing with delight. She pulls off her mask. It must be so hot and sweaty for her having to wear it all the time.
“What do you mean?” I know what she means, really, but I can’t believe our luck might be changing.
“I found Will walking up to the castle and we rode back together on Pitch. On the way from the stables Wolf attacked us. He punched me and tied me up, then did the same to Will.
I glance at Will and he looks embarrassed. I put my hand on his arm. I know how he feels; I compare myself to Ceryn and find myself wanting. She’s so plucky and feisty. I’ve never known a girl like her. She’s not like normal girls and that sounds like a criticism but it’s not; she’s better. Nothing phases her, nothing frightens her, but I know it must make Will feel useless in comparison.
“I head butted him and then we locked him in the tower.”
“You make it sound so easy.” Will shakes his head. “We both had our hands tied up behind our backs. Ceryn not only manages to head butt him, but knocks him to the floor, gets the key off him and escapes, barring him in there until Cook comes to help us lock him in.”
She can even win a fight against Wolf with no hands. This girl is a legend. “Archer, I think Ceryn should be the head of my army. Not you.”
He tries to look offended but then both him and Weaver shrug, laughing. They cannot deny the warrior inside this girl. The natural born soldier. She will be my greatest ally and protector if she chooses to continue here at the castle once I am Queen. I hope she will. “Will you stay here, Ceryn? You and Weaver?”
She bows low and I can see tears soften her eyes. “I would be honoured.”
Weaver nods. “That makes two of us.”
I don’t ask Archer; I know he’ll stay here. There is something growing between us. I’m a bit nervous of it really, now I don’t have my father here to give me advice.
I look over at the teacher, head to head with Ginata, talking softly. I hope he stays. He’s clever and kind and wise, more than even Halfreda was, and that’s saying a lot.
I need good people around me. I need all the help I can get. I know I’ve done stupid things, like trying to kill Millard in his bed and I know with a whole Realm to run I’ll need advisors that I listen to. I want to do well. I want to be a good Queen.
These people will be the most important ones in my court. Ceryn, Archer and Weaver to protect me, the people who live and work at the castle and the people who live in the Realm. That’s a big job. I want every person in the Realm, from the smallest village to the biggest to feel safe and happy, to be listened to. Criminals will have to be punished and justice will have to be served. I don’t even know where to begin with that.
My sister Addyson needs to be safe and happy. She’s the only family I have left. I’d like Della to live at the castle with us, be her guardian. I don’t know if that’s too much to ask, but it’s what I want. I won’t make her do it though. I won’t make an order as Queen. I don’t want to be that kind of Queen. If she can’t stay, then I hope she’ll visit often. Addyson has bloomed under Della’s attentions. She’s happier than ever.
Ginata, I’d like her to continue as wise woman of the castle. She’s done a wonderful job putting up with my brother and I know it won’t have been easy. I can sense a sadness in her and I worry about her. Millard is a mean old thing and I worry that looking after him and being away from us has upset her more than she would ever let on. I like her. She’s a hundred years younger than Halfreda, though how old I don’t know. She’s young and fresh and pretty. And I think the castle will benefit from her energy; so many of my father’s men were as old as Halfreda – not that youth is better than age or experience but some of them were so old and unable to do anything they were pretty much ready for the Ashes.
Once Ginata perks up it’ll be good, I think. With Millard gone she’s bound to start feeling a bit better, a bit more like her old self. I hope so. I like her a lot.
And Will. I certainly don’t want Will to be my fool. A fool is someone who wants to make people laugh and while he’s good at that, it’s not what’s in his heart, I don’t think. Will is a fool because his father was a fool and yet he’s the least foolish person I know. He is too wise and clever to be a fool and I would appreciate his help and advice as I make my way as Queen. And I know he’ll give it.
I feel overwhelmed by it all, all the things I have to do, the decisions I have to make and yet if I can continue doing as well as I have, choosing these people as my helpers, then maybe I’ll do well.
I ask one of the little maids for extra pallets and extra bedding. We are all in dire need of sleep. It’s been the longest day.
10
THE FOLLOWING MORNING as the sun flood
s the room with light, everyone wakes up in a good mood and Everleigh is rested and ready to make plans.
Addyson, Della and Ginata sit on her bed, legs tucked under them, sipping on ale. Ceryn is standing near the window seat. Finn is sitting up on the bed that he had slept on and Archer and Weaver are stood near the door. The teacher has gone out for some fresh morning air. Will is by Everleigh’s side, reluctant to leave it.
“Weaver, if you are still happy to go to the villages and recruit more men, I think that needs to be a priority. I don’t know how many men Millard has left, but there will always be someone ready to attack.”
Weaver nods his assent. “I’ll leave straightaway.” He gestures at Ceryn and Archer. “We’ve been talking and I know where I’m going and who I’ll be asking. I should be gone three days, if I don’t run into trouble.”
“Be careful.”
“I will be.” He bows to Everleigh and then hugs Ceryn and Archer.
Everleigh turns to the bed. “Della, I’d love you to stay at the castle full time, but I understand you have a life of your own at the cottage, with your brother.” Everleigh glances at Finn who barely smiles and then looks away.
Della smiles at Addyson. “I’d need to think about that. I love your sister, Everleigh, and I want to look after her, but I do have my little life at home. And Finn of course.”
“I can look after myself.” Finn’s voice is gruff and he looks grumpy. He’s been quiet since Everleigh was found and brought back to the castle.
“There’s no need to decide right now. But if you could stay until we know where my brother is and that he’s no longer a threat to Addyson, I’d feel better. I’d like her to have some company until she’s free to roam the castle and the grounds again.”
“I would be honoured to.”
“Thank you. Finn, you’re free to do as you please. You’d be welcome to make a home for yourself at the castle, especially if Della decides to stay. But...” Everleigh trails off. She likes Finn and she’s spent a bit of time with him in the past few days, but he seems surly today.
“Ginata.” Everleigh moves to her side and takes her hand, Will her little shadow right beside her. “I cannot thank you enough for all that you have done, staying in the castle, pretending to be on my brother’s side. I know it can’t have been easy. You must have been so scared.”
Ginata nods, but stays silent, looking down. Everleigh hugs her.
“I’d like you to crown me. If you’re happy to.”
“Of course.”
“Without Millard here I’m the rightful heir to the throne. The only opposition will come from him or his men and we have no idea where he is. Thanks to Ceryn, Wolf is locked away – he’s the biggest ally Millard’s got. He might be quite useless without him. How long do we need, Ginata, to arrange everything?”
“We could do it on Saturday or Sunday.”
“If we wait until Sunday,” Archer says, “Weaver will definitely be back with reinforcements. Your coronation will be the perfect opportunity for Millard to cause trouble. Better to have everything in place.”
“Four days is good. We can send the heralds out to the villages and get word further afield to all corners of the Realm. There are plenty of visitors here but we should still announce it.”
“I want it to be special”
“It will be.”
“Ceryn, Archer. Are you happy to keep fighting for me? Protecting me?”
They both nod. Archer takes her hand and Will moves out of the way, lurking next to Ceryn who grins at him and shoves him on the shoulder. He shoves her back and they laugh.
“I’ve always known I would serve a Queen and I am glad that it’s you.”
“I’m glad I’ve got you.”
Ceryn pokes Will, then sticks her finger down her throat, pretending to be sick. They laugh like naughty children but when Everleigh glares at them they stop.
“I never thought I would serve a Queen, nor anyone else. But I’m proud that you want me. I don’t like to be sentimental, but I believe you will be a great Queen and I’ll be glad to come along for the ride.”
“Thank you, Ceryn. I’m glad we’re alright.”
“We are.”
The secret about Ceryn’s feelings for Archer sits between them, unspoken and sure to be eventually forgotten about.
“And me?” Will goes back to Everleigh’s side.
“You don’t have to stick so close to me, we’re both safe now.”
“I know. But I nearly got you killed.”
“Will you weren’t born to be a fighter, for me or anyone else, and that’s fine.”
“I know. I was born to be a fool.”
“Not for me. My fool will be someone who wants to make me laugh, not my best friend, not someone who would die for me, not you. You will be my closest ally and my truest advisor. If you’re happy to be?”
Will nods and springs into a somersault. “Yes please.”
“I’m going to ask the teacher if he’ll stay for a while too. I don’t want my father’s stuffy old advisors, but I do need someone on my side who has more wisdom and experience than me. I’m hoping he’ll be happy to help.
“I’m sure he will be.”
“I hope so. I want to learn a bit about my magic too. See if I can control and harness my powers a bit better.”
“Good idea.”
“Right, boys, out you go. We girls need to get ready for the day.”
Once Archer, Will and Finn have left the room, Everleigh asks one of the little maids outside to fetch hot water. She turns to Ceryn. “I love you, but you need a bath.”
Ginata
IT’S STRANGE THAT ALL I wanted was to be with Everleigh and the others; to be on the right side, in the thick of it, part of the group.
Now that I am, I feel ever so removed. Like an intruder.
When Everleigh hugs me I want to cry, but I don’t. When I see Della push Addyson’s hair back off her forehead I want to cry, but I don’t. When I see the easy friendship growing between Everleigh and Ceryn I want to cry, but I don’t.
I have sacrificed my place in this little group for the confused and contradictory feelings I have for my King and I want to cry, but I don’t.
I try to remember that none of them know what I have done. And I haven’t hurt anybody. And if I hadn’t freed Millard someone else probably would have, but I know I am trying to excuse something inexcusable. I have that much wisdom, at least.
“What do you think, Ginata?” Della’s question brings me out of my reverie and I smile at her. “Sorry, I was in a daze.”
“You always are lately,” Ceryn says and I realise how astute she is, this masked girl. She has spent her whole life being suspicious of people; so used to being treated poorly that she watches people more closely than most. Probably looking for ulterior motives or weaknesses she can exploit. I cannot let her see my heart.
I look at Della, not letting Ceryn see the uncertainty that I’m sure clouds my eyes.
“The coronation. What colour should Everleigh wear?”
“You look lovely in any colour,” I tell her and it’s true. Our Kingmaker and almost Queen is beautiful. Having people surrounding her that she loves, has made her lovelier still. The strain is leaving her face, and she’s looking happier and calmer by the minute.
“What about me, Everleigh?” Addyson jumps in to the conversation and I tune out again. I cannot worry about dresses when I’m worrying about the stain on my soul.
In fact, I cannot stay here, safe as it may be for them, it is stifling me. And even if I were to run into Millard he would never hurt me.
“I need to go to my rooms.” At my announcement, the four women look at me like I am losing my mind, maybe I am.
“Ginata, you can’t. We don’t know where my brother is. He’ll be murderous.”
“More than usual.” Ceryn laughs at her own words; though we all know they aren’t funny. He is murderous. And horrible. And nasty. And cruel. And twisted. And kind, s
ometimes. And generous, sometimes. And funny, sometimes.
“I’ll be fine, Everleigh. I need a tonic, my head hurts. I need to check the exact rules for the coronation, there’s a book somewhere amongst Halfreda’s things. I need to sleep in a bed that is comfortable. None of Millard’s men know that I have switched sides. They will assume my allegiance is still with him. Besides if something goes wrong, if he comes back to cause trouble, it might be good for me to be able to go to him without suspicion.”
Everleigh, I can tell, takes my words at face value. Nothing I have said is untrue or particularly strange. Della and Addyson are still talking about dresses.
Only Ceryn watches me closely, a strange look on her face. She’s taking the measure of me, I know.
If she could tell me what she really thought of me would I like what she had to say?
Luckily, we are here with the Queen and that keeps us both polite. I vow never to be alone with Ceryn. I don’t like the way she looks at me, the questions in her eyes.
She cannot know anything, I tell myself, and though I know it’s true it doesn’t stop the snakes from twisting away inside me.
I will never feel peace here, talking about dresses.
I will lay low. I will help Everleigh if I can. I will crown her as the Queen of the Realm and then I will leave.
That is the best I can do.
I don’t belong here with these people any more. I made my choice, and as wrong as it was, I can’t turn back. It’s like Millard’s inside my head, bewitching and ensnaring me. I think about him all the time. I wonder what he would say to me, how he would answer me, how he’d look at me, whether he’d kiss me. I cannot concentrate on anything else.
He is gone and so is my heart and my sound mind.
I will not look for him, I will not aid him any further, but I cannot pretend that my future is at this castle, serving a Queen.
It cannot be, when my heart beats only for a King.
The Kingmaker Complete Trilogy (The Kingmaker Trilogy #1-3) Page 51
