How very weird. What was I supposed to do now? I couldn’t hang around here in the deepest recesses of the ceiling like a wayward soul forever.
‘Alice,’ I heard the sing-song voice calling from behind me.
Oh thank goodness.
‘Jimmy! There you are!’ Even in my discombobulated state, I could feel the relief seep through my body. I couldn’t believe it, there he was, waiting for me, looking like he always did, only, uh-oh, much more bad-tempered. He stood beside me, arms folded, waggling a finger crossly.
‘What on earth did you think you were doing, Alice?’ There was a plaintive tone to his voice that tugged at my heart.
‘Um… what do you mean?’ My mouth and brain were having trouble working together.
It was all very confusing. What were we all doing here? Wafting around like extras on a Merchant Ivory set. Mish. Mash. Mush. The events slowly unfurled in my mind. Jimmy leaving. Me running after him. The crash.
‘You left me,’ I said accusingly. My head felt like the lightest whipped vanilla mousse, all frothy and full of air.
‘What?’
‘You left me. I watched you go and then,’ it sounded ridiculous, I knew, ‘you didn’t wave when you got to the corner.’ I paused, my head still spinning with all sorts of thoughts. ‘You always waved at the corner.’
‘For goodness sake, Alice. I forgot, that was all.’
‘You forgot? Oh. But then I called you and you didn’t come. You always come when I call.’
‘Yes well, I didn’t like to say anything, but these last few weeks I’ve been losing my touch with that sort of thing.’ He shrugged ruefully. ‘I think my powers have been deserting me.’
‘Really? So you didn’t hear me then?’
‘No, I didn’t hear you, Alice. I was going out for some breakfast; eggs, bacon, mushrooms, tomatoes and hash browns. I can’t tell you how much I was looking forward to it, a big fry up, spending the day with you and then, well, it didn’t happen, did it? You put paid to that.’ He shook his head, smiling wryly. ‘You are a daft thing, Alice Fletcher, do you know that? You need to be more careful out there. You could have…’
‘Oh good grief,’ I shouted as more images assaulted my mind. ‘That poor boy. The one on the bike. Is he OK?’ His horrified face as he ploughed into me flashed into my mind.
‘He’s fine. Don’t worry. I’ve been over to see him. He’s collected a rather impressive collection of cuts and bruises, but I have to say he came off a lot better than you. He’s back at home now.’
‘Thank goodness for that.’ I peered down at Lexie and Damon, becoming slightly irritated now by their presence and the muffled sobs. ‘Come on,’ I said, turning to Jimmy, ‘let’s get out of here. We’ll go home now and have that breakfast.’
‘No, I can’t, Alice.’ He paused, looking serious. ‘It’s all over. It’s time for me to go now.’
‘W-what?’
‘This is it, Alice.’ He smiled at me beatifically, holding out his hand to me, our fingertips gently grazing.
‘Oh yes,’ I cried, suddenly understanding. ‘Well, this is the perfect solution, isn’t it? We can be together forever, after all. I’m coming with you, Jimmy, I’m coming with you.’ I could see the way, the call of the light beyond him, beckoning us both on our way.
‘No, Alice, you don’t understand. I have to leave. I want to go now. There’s no place for me down there any more. But you, you belong there, with the people who love you. Look at them. You have to go back and live your life. It isn’t your time yet.’
Tears filled my eyes.
‘But I don’t want to,’ I said, reaching out for Jimmy’s fingertips as he pulled away from me. ‘I want to be with you.’
‘Remember,’ said Jimmy, banging his fist against his heart. ‘You’ll always have a place here and me with you, yeah? I love you, Alice Fletcher. And I’ll be waiting for you. But that’s not for now. That’s way into the future. But remember your promise to me. You have to go back and live a full and happy life. Until it’s your time. Damon and Lexie are waiting for you.’
No, I screamed silently inside, my scream resonating with the one currently belting from Lexie’s mouth. I glared at her impatiently. My sister certainly knew how to pick her moments. Fancy having a temper tantrum now?
Lights flashed, bleepers beeped and buzzers buzzed. Nurses piled into the room, ushering Damon and Lexie outside, their anxious faces looking behind at the figure lying on the bed.
‘You can’t come with me, Alice, I’m sorry.’
‘Please Jimmy, take me with you. You can’t leave me! Please! I’m begging you.’
‘It’ll be OK, Alice, I promise.’ His hand swept around my head and down the side of my face, a warmth and reassurance flooding my body like a thousand rays of sunshine.
‘I love you, Alice Fletcher.’
‘I love you too, Jimmy.’ The tears brimming in my eyes were washed away by the love and hope filling the room.
He walked backwards into the light, our fingertips reaching out to each other until the very last moment and then, as simply as he’d come into my life, he was gone.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
‘You can’t go now, you’ve been here all this time. She’ll want to see you.’
‘No, I’m not so sure she will,’ said Damon, pushing back his chair from the side of the bed. ‘Besides, you need to spend some time alone together. Just send her my best wishes and, um, let her know I’m glad she’s on the mend.’
The sound of warm, familiar voices melted over me like a chocolate fountain. Relief, that’s what I felt. An overwhelming sense of comfort that everything was going to be all right. ‘Jimmy,’ I said to myself, as if trying the name out for the first time. I allowed myself a little chuckle. He wouldn’t be coming back now, I knew that. There was a sense of completion, a finality that was strangely reassuring and I felt only a sense of joy that I’d had the pleasure of knowing him.
‘Hi, Damon.’ My voice sounded weak and strange, like it belonged to someone else. I shifted in my bed and opened my eyes to look up at him.
‘Hey there. How are you?’ His face lit up and then he grimaced. ‘Stupid question, eh?’
‘I’m OK,’ I said, smiling weakly. ‘A bit sore.’ I put my hand to my chest.
‘That would be the cracked ribs, a broken wrist, concussion, cuts and bruises. Not bad for an early morning Sunday stroll.’
I laughed, then stopped abruptly the pain getting in the way.
‘Did I really do all that damage?’
Damon nodded his head sadly before he went on. ‘I was just leaving actually,’ he said, gesturing towards the door.
‘Oh, do you have to?’
‘Well no… but I thought…’
‘Please don’t go, Damon.’ My voice was strained, desperation colouring my words. ‘I’d really like you to stay, if you can.’ Suddenly I felt wobbly, tears gathering in my eyes as I looked from him to Lexie. I couldn’t bear it if he left.
He took hold of my hand, squeezing it gently, and his touch brought a warm glow to my heart. ‘Hey, I won’t go anywhere if you don’t want me to.’
‘Do you know,’ said Lexie, edging forward in her chair and taking my hand, ‘he’s been worried sick. Well, we both have, but Damon hasn’t left your side since we found out the news. You gave us a real scare, Alice. For a moment we thought…’ Her voice trailed away as tears ran down her cheeks. ‘Well, just don’t ever do that to us again, will you?’
‘Ha. No. I don’t intend doing that again in a hurry.’ I paused as I attempted to shift myself up the bed. Every movement sent arrows of pain shooting through my body. ‘The boy, he is OK, isn’t he?’
‘Yes, don’t worry, he’s absolutely fine. I think his bike is in a pretty poor way though, but Damon has been round to visit him and his parents and they’re just relieved that he escaped relatively unscathed. I mean, really, he shouldn’t have been cycling on the pavement and I suppose you should have been looking where you
were going.’ Lexie shook her head, tut-tutting. ‘So it was six of one and half a dozen of the other.’
I smiled to myself thinking of Jimmy and Damon, both taking it upon themselves to visit the lad, imagining them, two good men, bumping into each other as they did their good deed for the day.
‘You did that for me?’ I said, turning to Damon.
‘Well, I knew you’d be worried.’
‘Not only did he go and see him, but he also took him round a brand new bike. The boy was over the moon, apparently.’
‘Really?’ I said, overwhelmed by his kindness. ‘Oh, I feel so guilty for all the trouble I’ve caused. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.’
‘You’ve no need to. All you need to worry about is getting yourself better. So we can get you home and back on your feet. That’s Doctor Damon’s orders,’ he said, shaking a finger at me.
‘Thank you,’ I said, tears brimming in my eyes. Weariness washed over me.
He brushed the back of his hand across my cheek, before topping up the glass on the side cabinet with some fresh orange barley from a jug. ‘I don’t know about you, Lexie, but I could do with a coffee. Do you fancy one?’
‘Ooh yes please,’ said Lexie, giving him the thumbs up as he left the room leaving Lexie and me alone together. As soon as he’d gone, she leant over the bed wrapping her arms, very carefully, around me.
‘I’m so glad you’re going to be OK. The thought of something happening to you, well, it was just awful, really scary. Damon’s been absolutely brilliant, you know. He’s been such a support.’
‘I know,’ I said, nodding, feeling guilty at my earlier mistreatment of him. ‘Hopefully things will get back to some sort of normality now.’ I paused, trying to make sense of these latest events. ‘Jimmy’s gone now. Did you know?’
‘No? Really! Oh god, that’s good, isn’t it? Sad, but good. When did he go?’ I pretended not to notice the undisguised look of delight spreading across her face.
‘Just … just now… I think.’ Or was it an hour ago, two hours ago or even a day ago? Time had taken on an intangible quality. ‘That’s why I had the accident. I was running after Jimmy. I thought he was leaving me but…’ I shrugged, emitting a small laugh ‘… I got that wrong. And then he was here with me, telling me he had to go and that my place was down here with my friends and family.’
‘That’s right,’ said Lexie squeezing my hand tight. ‘We are all here for you. So.’ She paused, choosing her words carefully. ‘Do you think he’s gone for good then?’
‘Yes,’ I nodded, ‘it’s all over. He’s gone for good now.’
‘And how do you feel about that?’
My eyes closed and I took a deep breath, conjuring up a picture of Jimmy’s face in my mind.
‘It’s fine. Honestly it’s OK,’ I said, my chest tugging at his memory. ‘I’m going to miss that man so much, but it’s weird, when he was here the thought of him leaving was almost too much to bear, but when it happened it was like it was absolutely the right thing to have happened. Sort of natural. I know that doesn’t make any sense at all. All I know is that it feels right. And knowing that Jimmy is where he should be makes everything feel right with me. I’ll never forget him.’
How could I ever forget Jimmy and everything he’d come to mean to me?
‘He was like this huge ball of mischievous energy that barged into my life and turned everything upside down. And I think maybe that’s why he was sent to me, to teach me something special,’ I told Lexie. ‘Mainly how to knock up a mean omelette, but also how to love and be loved and that’s the thing that will never ever leave me.’ As Lexie sat on my bed, hanging onto my every word, I saw the tears in her eyes.
I looked around the room, taking in for the first time the jugs of flowers, the helium balloons and the dozens of get well cards adorning the surfaces. I felt a huge surge of gratitude, knowing I had everything to live for.
Lexie nodded, biting on her lip to stop the tears from falling.
‘So no more spooky goings-on chez toi?’
‘I guess not,’ I said with a shrug.
‘Everything will be OK, you do know that, don’t you?’ said Lexie.
‘Yes,’ I said smiling, just as Damon came back through the door bearing a tray full of coffees and biscuits. ‘I’m certain everything will be OK.’
Chapter Twenty-Nine
‘It’s only me!’ The now familiar daily call brought a smile to my face and, something else I’d noticed these last few days, a lift to my heart. I shifted up on my elbow, the sharp pain shooting beneath my ribs a painful reminder that any movement was a bad move. I quickly sank back down again.
‘Hi,’ I called. ‘How was your day?’ Damon, his broad frame partly hidden by a huge wicker basket overflowing with potatoes, courgettes and strawberries, came into the living room.
‘Productive. There’s a few bits and pieces for you here. I’ll just pop them in the kitchen, shall I?’
Every day since the accident he’d made a point of popping in on his way to work, bringing me magazines and a freshly baked brioche from the deli on the corner, leaving me with a strict set of instructions on what I could and couldn’t do, and then calling in on his way home again.
‘Remember, if there’s anything you need during the day, just ring me. I can be here in under ten minutes.’
‘Thanks, but I’ll be fine,’ I said smiling. Lying on the sofa all day watching Phil and Holly, Cash in the Attic and repeats of Midsomer Murders was hardly very taxing. Enjoyable and worryingly addictive, but not taxing. ‘Really there’s no need to worry.’
‘Hmm, but I do. Remember what the doctors said, Alice. Don’t overdo it. There’s nothing you need to do here. Just concentrate on getting yourself better. Any cleaning or ironing I can do later.’
‘I’m not an invalid, you know,’ I said, wincing as I rearranged my pillows, realising I had little intention of doing either of those things anytime soon.
His doubtful look told me he thought I was exactly that.
‘Dr Damon’s orders,’ he said sternly, pointing a finger at me.
‘Look, Damon, you know I’m very grateful for everything you’ve done. You’ve been so sweet and really helpful, but I don’t want you thinking you have to come and see me every day. I’m sure you must have…’
He turned sharply to look at me.
‘Do you not want me to come? Am I making a nuisance of myself? Is that it?’
‘No, of course not. I look forward to you coming, but I don’t want you feeling obliged or anything.’
‘I don’t feel obliged. Or anything,’ he said, firmly.
He plonked himself down in what I’d once thought of as Jimmy’s chair.
‘That’s OK then,’ I said sheepishly. ‘It’s meant a lot to me just knowing that you’ll be coming round, it’s given me something to look forward to each day.’
‘Well, that was very much the intention,’ he said, looking pleased with himself. ‘Oh by the way, you had a delivery,’ Damon said, suddenly remembering and jumping out of his seat. ‘I meant to bring it through, but I had my arms full.’
He returned a few moments later with a cardboard box with carry handles. We shared a look together, Damon shrugged his shoulders and, intrigued, I opened the box up carefully, peering inside.
‘Oh my goodness, look what we have here. Aren’t you beautiful?’ A white kitten with the bluest of blue eyes stared back at me before emitting a small meow.
‘A cat? Wow! Who on earth would send you a cat?’
‘I don’t know,’ I said, transfixed by the little creature. ‘I’ve always wanted a cat though.’ I held the kitten up to my face feeling the softness of its fur against my skin. I bent down and tore off the tag attached to the box.
“Here’s a little stray who’s lost his way.
And knowing how good you are with wayward souls.
I thought you two would be good together.
Look after him, Alice, and he’ll be sure to look
after you.
Love Always xxx JM xxx”
Damon took the tag from my hands and examined it. ‘JM?’ he asked, quizzically.
‘Oh…’ Emotion caught in my throat. ‘An old friend. He’s moved away now. To a different place. The other side of the world. I won’t be seeing him again, but… um… this must be his leaving gift. What a lovely gesture, don’t you think?’ I said, beaming, tears rolling down my cheeks.
‘Um, yeah, I suppose,’ he said, looking totally bemused. ‘If you’re absolutely sure it’s what you want. What are you going to call it?’
‘I don’t know,’ I said, staring into the kitten’s curious eyes. ‘He’s so sweet, isn’t he?’ I tickled the skin beneath his chin. ‘Like an angel sent down from heaven.’
Damon shook his head, laughing.
‘Angel it is then,’ he said, cradling the cat gently in its arms. ‘Come on, Angel, let’s show you round your new home, mate.’
Sometimes you have a feeling about things, a gut instinct and every instinct in my body told me everything would work out OK after all.
ISBN: 978 1 472 04342 9
DESPERATELY SEEKING HEAVEN
© Jill Steeples 2013
First Published in Great Britain in 2013
Harlequin (UK) Limited
Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR
All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. The text of this publication or any part thereof may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, including without limitation xerography, photocopying, recording, storage in an information retrieval system, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.
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Desperately Seeking Heaven Page 20
