Feral

by Berkeley, Anne

  “Make yourself comfortable,” I told him as I headed for the bathroom to dress. I returned a few minutes later, clothed and flushed from drying my hair. Icarus was sitting at my children’s French vanity picking apart a muffin, looking completely at home.

  “Staying in today?” he inquired, noting my attire. As expected, he approved of the satin pants and lace cami with an exhaustive once over. Eat your heart out Icarus. Look while you can. This is what you turned down, what you’ll never lay eyes on again.

  “I took a mental health day.”

  “Then you’re planning on going to school tomorrow,” he said disapprovingly. The corners of his mouth twisted into a frown that he had no right to bear. “Didn’t I warn you it was dangerous to leave the house, or are you doing it just to spite me?”

  “That’s none of your business. If I recall correctly, you kicked me out. But then you made it clear you didn’t want me there in the first place.”

  “You disobeyed me.”

  My mouth popped open. “You were going to beat me with a wooden spoon!”

  “Christ, what I wouldn’t give to do it right now!”

  “Try it!” I shouted, standing my ground. My hands moved to my hips.

  Impatiently, he snarled, pacing away and then back again. “Do you see why this will never work? You persistently defy me, putting yourself at risk, which in turn will put my family at risk! Am I to make a choice between you and the twins, or Crispin for that matter?”

  “Then why are you here? I gave you the perfect opportunity to bow out.”

  Startling me, he grasped my arms and brought his mouth down on mine. His lips were firm and soft, and his breath warm against my skin. My eyes widened in surprise and then fell gently closed as he parted his lips, his tongue claiming my mouth with a greedy thrust. I moaned, sinking against him, clinging to his shirt for support. It felt as my bones had come unhinged. My legs went rubbery beneath me. By the time he pulled away, I was thoroughly ravished. My lips plump and swollen. My cheeks prickled from his shadow of dark stubble.

  Leaning his forehead against mine, he took a deep breath. “You drive me crazy, Thaleia Llorente. You disregard every word I say. You show no respect. You’re disobedient, and single minded—What? You’re not?” he asked when I glared up from under my lashes. “You asked me to kill you yesterday! You find respecting my rules worse than death?”

  “I find making you choose between me and your family worse than death.”

  “Then do as I say.”

  “I don’t know if I can do that. I’m not built that way.”

  “Then I’ll teach you. We’ll start small. Easy commands. It’ll build up the trust between us. Before long, you’ll do as I say without a second thought.”

  “And if I slip?”

  “This is for your own safety,” Icarus chided. “You overstep your bounds, and I’ll be quick to put you in your place. And next time, I won’t be imposing household chores on you. They’ve proven ineffective as a punishment where you’re concerned.”

  “I can’t believe I’m even discussing this with you,” I demurred, pushing away from him. He didn’t release me, however, but tightened his grip, holding me tight against his chest. “I must be crazy. My parents never even imposed a corporal punishment on me.”

  “Start small, remember? Should we try it for measure? A trial run per se?”

  “What, spanking me?”

  Icarus broke out in a rolling laugh, causing my face to turn red. “Conforming, Thaleia, though what I wouldn’t give to tan your hide.”

  “Doesn’t matter. It’s a negative to both,” I grumbled in another attempt to wrench myself from his grasp. A mere kiss and I was submitting to him again. I didn’t even like him!

  “Enough!” he demanded with mock severity. I stilled in his arms, though it had nothing to do with tickle in my skull. A delayed thought occurred to me. He didn’t like me either. He’d only kissed me so that I’d submit. When force and aggression didn’t subdue me, he figured a little cajoling might work. And for a moment, it almost did.

  “Very good,” he praised, his tone teasing and light, unaware of my change in mood. “Easy, right? Painless. No harm done. Should we try again? Now touch your nose.”

  Lifting my right hand, I touched the tip of my nose with my middle finger.

  Icarus smiled transiently, taking in my humorless expression. To his credit, he looked genuinely contrite. If I hadn’t known better, I might’ve believed him. Fortunately, I knew this was all a ploy to regain his domination over me and save face with his cousins.

  “I’d like you to go.”

  Cupping my face, he skimmed my cheekbone with the rough pad of his thumb. “I’m trying here, Thaleia. Really, I am. But you have to meet me half way. It’ll take both of our efforts to make this work.”

  “I don’t know what world you live in, but I have no interest in yielding to you again. If you thought kissing me was going to change that, you must really think I’m naive. Now, I’d like you to go.”

  Stung by the vehemence of my words, Icarus released me. I placed some much-needed distance between us. He’d kissed me. I wasn’t impervious. You’d have to be obtuse to walk away from Icarus unaffected. I was lucky to walk at all. As it stood, it took every ounce of strength to refrain from sitting on the edge of my bed to rest my wobbly knees.

  Likewise unsettled, Icarus paced the room. “I,” he emphasized, “want you to come back. Not because of the twins or Crispin, or Lucius, Max or Hailey. Just so that that’s clear.”

  “Why the sudden change of heart?”

  “You terrify me, Thaleia! Don’t you understand that? You epitomize everything that I’ve been safe from since I’ve lost my parents. Yet, turning my back on you…I can’t do it. The thought of anything happening to you is deplorable as losing what little family I have left.”

  “You don’t even know me,” I said, bewildered over his statement. I doubted our brief acquaintance would merit a sentiment thus strong. On the other hand, we did seem to bring out the strongest of emotions in one another. I wondered why that was.

  “I want to if you’ll let me.”

  I shook my head, confused, and overwhelmed. “I need time to think about this. You said I have just over a week. I need that time.”

  He didn’t ask what my options were. Maybe he didn’t want to know the answer. Turning a blind eye, he turned for the door. Stopping just over the threshold, he reached back and pulled my dad’s Beretta from the waist of his chinos. “Do me a favor,” he said, placing into on my bureau. Without waiting for an answer, he added, “Don’t keep this handy.”

  “Why not?” I asked. If he cared so much for my safety, I’d think he’d like knowing I could defend myself. “I know how to use it.”

  “I know, but Lucius and Max will be keeping an eye on your house tonight, and if they catch you off guard, I don’t want them getting shot.”

  “What?” I asked, my voice raising several octaves. “Why?” It wasn’t like Marcus was going to come finish me off. But then, I didn’t think he would cheat on me either. Nor did I think he’d chase me through the woods and nearly maul me to death.

  “Just a precaution.”

  “Who stayed last night?” I asked, though I already knew the answer.

  Icarus hands dug into his pocket and pulled out his keys. “You should nap. You didn’t sleep much last night,” he said, and disappeared down the stairs. A second later, I heard the front door close. I knew he hadn’t entered the house that way. I had locked the door when Mom left. I was sure of it. Striding to my window, I locked it then tugged on the old wood sash for surety.

  ΑΒΩ

  Taking Icarus’s advice, I stole a short nap in the afternoon. Short was the keyword. I woke in the usual sweat, gasping for air. I raked my hair from my face and swallowed thickly.

  Yep, I was still in my room. My French vanity sat to my left, a half eaten muffin perched atop its blemished surface. A matching bureau sat against the opposite wal
l. We’d traded the twin bed out for a full size when my legs began to overhang the mattress. Me the giraffe.

  Waking up in my bedroom—remembering the pink canopy bed where I sat countless times, painting my nails and trading secrets with Peyton—it was hard to believe my life could have taken such a drastic turn. Gone were the days of innocence, of whispers of crushes and kisses. Gone were the giggling girls with pigtails and tutus. Gone was my life, as I once knew it. There would be no more slumber parties or makeovers. There would be no more shopping dates or PMS parties. PMS…how was I going to survive that in a house full of boys?

  When did I decide I was going back? That damn kiss! He had to kiss me damn it! He caught me staring at him in the mirror. Bastard was using it to his advantage. Cheater.

  Downstairs, I heard a riotous barrage of knocks on our front door. I jumped out of bed and was about to peek out the window in my parent’s room when I heard Bennie’s voice shouting my name. He sounded frantic. I flew down the stairs and yanked the front door open so fast that Bennie stumbled to his knees. His books and papers skidded across the floor in a tumble of loose-leaf and printed worksheets. Slamming the door closed again, I engaged both the regular lock and the deadbolt then pushed the curtain aside and peered surreptitiously out the window, searching for some lycanthrope threat in the form of one Marcus Pera, ex-boyfriend and attempted murderer.

  “Holy crapoli, Thale!” Bennie exclaimed, ignoring his papers all over the floor. He stood and brushed his knees off, his eyes bright and wide. “Did you just growl at me?”

  I glared derisively. “I didn’t growl.” No way. And I was a little ticked off that he’d make a joke of it. I could see I was going to be the constant butt of his jokes. I could hear him now, making cracks about having hairy legs and eight nipples. Slapping him wasn’t past me.

  “Sure you did. Just now. It wasn’t like a Grrr. It was more like a cross between a purr and a snore. It wasn’t very scary, but it was a growl if I ever heard one.”

  “Bennie, what did you come home in such a panic about? You freaked me out for God’s sake! What’re you doing banging on the door like that? I thought someone was killing you!”

  “I wouldn’t exactly call it a panic.”

  “Bennie!” I snapped impatiently.

  “Fine. But maybe you better sit down first. Or standing’s fine too. Whatever you prefer,” he quickly amended when this time I did growl. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you. Jack Medley—he’s dead! Dead—as in ‘dead as a doornail.’ Rob Longstreet forgot his glasses at Jack’s house after the party, and when he went to pick them up yesterday morning, he found Jack dead in his bedroom. He said Jack’s neck looked like a freakin’ philly steak, and that he must’ve put up a good fight, because there was blood all over the place. After puking all over the floor, he dialed nine one one. But the weirdest part isn’t even that Jack doesn’t have a dog. The police couldn’t figure out how the dog got out of the house when all the doors and windows were closed.” Ben nodded matter of factly, wiggling his stubby thumbs. “No opposable thumbs.”

  I sat. My legs were shaking too badly. They went all wonky. Worse than when Icarus had kissed me. I felt like I could barf, but I swallowed it back. Still, it sat there in my chest waiting for me to let my guard down. Saliva filled my mouth. My stomach curled biliously.

  Jack wouldn’t talk. Jack couldn’t talk if he was dead.

  “Jesus, you look like shit,” Bennie observed. “Do you need me to get you the barf bucket? You’re all pasty and white. You look like a corpse. Are you sure you weren’t attacked by a zombie? You’re not going to eat my brains are you? Do zombies barf? Oh, foul! Does that mean you’ll barf up brains?”

  I threatened Bennie with a look that dared him to say one more word.

  He mumbled something else but I couldn’t hear him because he turned his head at the same time. If not for the super healing, I would’ve continued to have my doubts on my upcoming transformation. Among their heightened senses, I thought the canine species was supposed to have ultra sensitive hearing. Figures I’d get shortchanged with the cool stuff.

  “What did you say?”

  “I said, I guess you don’t want me to tell you the rest.”

  “What rest?”

  “The rest rest. The parts I didn’t tell you yet because you started going pasty on me. Seriously, Thale, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  “Spit it out, Bennie.”

  “Peyton accosted me when I got off the bus today. Marcus is missing too. She hasn’t seen him since he chased you into the woods Friday night. She said she rode home with Marcie Whitaker and Marcus’s truck was still in the driveway when they left, and they were the last ones to leave Jack’s house.”

  Dropping my head, I pinched the bridge of my nose.

  Bennie crouched and began raking his papers into a manageable pile. “You think that Icarus guy killed Jack and Marcus, don’t you?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, nonplussed. “Crispin said that Marcus got away. And Marcus’s truck was gone when I went to Jack’s house Saturday morning, but Jack…he saw Icarus and me together. Icarus said Jack wouldn’t talk, and he was pretty damn sure of it.”

  “It doesn’t add up,” Bennie said doubtfully, fiddling with his lip ring. “After going through so much trouble to keep everyone quiet, why would he just let you leave yesterday, right out his front door, and then show up here and introduce himself to mom and dad? That doesn’t sound like a murderer who wants to keep his identity a secret.”

  “Because he didn’t have a choice,” I reminded Bennie. I had stayed up late last night, recalling the entire weekend to him, down to every last detail. “At that point, his cover was already blown. Mom, Dad and the police had already seen me with them.”

  Brainstorming, Bennie shuffled his papers, lining all the edges up and shoved them into his backpack. As I watched him, something niggled at the back of my mind.

  “What time did Jack call here Saturday?” I asked.

  “Not until after twe—” he stopped short, comprehending my direction. “Rob found Jack’s body in the morning—Jack couldn’t have called here in the afternoon.”

  “Marcus,” I deduced. “It doesn’t change anything, though. Marcus might’ve made the call, but I still think if anyone killed Jack, it was Icarus. Think about it—Marcus picked up his truck that morning. Why would he have gone back? It just seems improbable. Besides, Marcus had no motive for killing Jack. But Icarus did, because Jack saw us together that morning.”

  I could still see a seed of doubt in Bennie’s eyes. “I don’t know, Thale. Icarus texted Mom and Dad Friday night,” Bennie pointed out, returning to Icarus’s defense. He had found the out he was searching for, intent on clearing Icarus’s name. He hadn’t even met the man and he was pleading his innocence. “His intentions were upright from the get go. It sounds to me like he was trying to buy some time while he devised a plan that allowed you to stay under his protection. You’re eighteen, and a legal adult, but imagine Mom and Dad’s reaction if you pulled that crap on them. I think he was trying to avoid having two irate parents, let alone the police involved. I imagine remaining inconspicuous is important to an immortal.”

  I wanted to disagree, but I couldn’t think of a valid argument so I settled for sprawling across the sofa, draping my arm across my face in anguish. Bennie, my personal counselor, settled in the armchair, elbows resting on his knees, waiting for my inevitable dispute.

  “He came here today,” I confessed. “Let himself in my window. So make sure your window’s locked tonight before you go to bed.”

  “Well you’re not dead. If he wanted you to be, he had the perfect opportunity. You were home by yourself, defenseless.”

  The corners of my mouth pulled up.

  “Thale?” Bennie said suspiciously.

  “I had the gun.”

  “Noooo!” Bennie enthused. “Did he shit himself?”

  I couldn’t help it. As pissy of a mood as I was in, I lau
ghed. “You should’ve seen his face. He was all smug and wily, and then he nearly dropped his muffins.”

  Bennie joined me, laughing. He held his stomach, repeating my accounting of Icarus’s reaction. “Dropped his muffins!” he wheezed. “I’m never gonna look at a muffin the same again! Holy Crap, I’m gonna think of duking every time I see one!”

  I let Bennie have his laugh, taking pleasure in the reprieve of insanity. It felt too good not to, unsure of how long it would last or when I would experience it again.

  Our giddy high wearing off, we moved to the kitchen to prepare dinner. I retrieved the chicken from the fridge and began rinsing it and layering it between paper towels while waiting for the pan to heat. Tonight I was serving chicken marsala, Mom’s favorite. It was my endeavor to make up for this past weekend, and whatever came in the future. She’d need it.

  “In all seriousness,” I told Bennie, “he brought muffins.”

  “Doesn’t sound like a killer to me. Unless muffins are his MO. Maybe he leaves them behind after every killing.”

  I must’ve made some kind of noise of contempt, because Bennie gave me a look of reproach. I didn’t care. Nothing was going to convince me that Icarus was innocent, except Icarus himself, and I had reservations on cavorting with a possible murderer. Especially one who could kiss and lie as well as Icarus. It was seriously disturbing. There was no denying it. I had resolved after his departure to return with him to his pack. I had sucker written all over me. He was probably outside right now, laughing at me. I’d bought his spiel hook line and sinker.

  “He’s not Mike, Thale.”

  I frowned. Did he really need to go there? Mike was a sore subject. He had been since we dated two years ago. Did you ever hear the phrase ‘All’s well that ends well?’ Well it didn’t end well between us. And I just wanted to leave it alone.

  “Drop it Bennie.”

  “I’m just saying you can’t class all men under the same category.”

  “Shut up, Bennie!” I snapped. “It has nothing to do with Mike, and everything to do with Marcus and Icarus, and which one of them MURDERED Jack! Jack is dead, damn it! DEAD!”