Destined To Fall

by Bester, Tamsyn

  I check my phone, probably for the umpteenth time, and sigh when I find no texts or missed calls from Kyler. Doubt prickles my mind, and the heavy feeling I had not too long ago returns. Ignoring it, I decide to take a long, relaxing bath, and pour myself a glass of red wine. The sun sets and the city lights flicker to life as a new kind of energy surges through the streets. I smile, sinking into the too-hot water, feeling the tension seep out of my muscles, and close my eyes. The quietness cloaks me in, leaving me with a sense of contentment that is unfamiliar to me. I bask in it, savor it, because moments like this are far and few between.

  ∞

  I spend the remainder of the week catching up missed work and following up with the team helping me implement the Digital Publishing strategy. It has required late nights; nights without Kyler, and the weekend couldn’t have come sooner. I curl up in bed and hug my knees to my aching body, thankful that it’s Friday. My head feels like it’s going to explode, along with my ovaries. Not only do I have the misfortune of horrendous cramps, but migraines are part of the package, too.

  My stomach rolls, and I barely make it to the toilet before the meager contents of my stomach ends up in the toilet bowl along with the pain killers I tried to take. When my stomach is empty, I rest my head on the toilet bowl, too tired to grab a washcloth and wipe my sweaty face. I hear a knock at the door but don’t have the strength to answer. A second knock comes, louder this time, followed by a voice yelling my name. Is that Kyler?

  God, I hope not!

  I don’t want him seeing me like this - baggy t-shirt, lime green sleep shorts, and a sweaty face. Not sexy.

  He yells my name again and I stay rooted on the spot. If he wants to get in, he’ll have to break the door down, but I’m hoping he’ll think I’m not home and just leave.

  I hear a loud smack, and then a hard thud. Heavy footsteps echo on the hardwood floors, making their way down the hallway and into my bedroom “Cassey?”

  I lift my head at the sound of Kyler’s voice and look up just as he reaches my bathroom door.

  “Shit,” he says, rushing to my side. “Are you okay?”

  The genuine concern on his face surprises me. But what surprises me even more is that I like that he’s concerned.

  I shouldn’t, because we’re just friends-with-benefits. Aren’t we? “I’m fine,” I croak out. My throat is sore and raw. “What are you doing here?” “Well,” he sighs. “You called in sick and I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  “Why?” He’s been avoiding me, that much was obvious, so I don’t understand his sudden need to check on me.

  “Because I was worried,” he repeats, like it should be an easy concept for me to grasp. He touches my face and frowns. “You have a fever.”

  “I’m fine, you don’t have to stay, Kyler.”

  “Too bad, Cass. I’m not going anywhere, so be a bitch all you want, but I’m not leaving you like this.”

  I scoff. “I’m not being a bitch. I just don’t understand why you’re here, after…”

  “After what?” His eyebrows dip in confusion, and I wish I kept my mouth shut. When I don’t respond, Kyler dips my chin up, and presses, “After what?” “After you avoided me for three days.”

  Kyler shakes his head, a ghost of a smile forming on his lips. “I can’t avoid you even if I wanted to, Cass. You’re everywhere.” His voice is soft and gentle, as if he almost doesn’t want me to know what he’s saying. Our eyes are locked on each other, and I know he can see the confusion on my face, in my eyes. But I’m not naive. I know better than to get my hopes up, so I don’t. I slide down the side of my bathtub, and Kyler stands. He wets a washcloth and bends down next to me. He wipes my forehead and I avoid his gaze. I don’t want him to be worried, because that means he cares, and I’m almost certain that blurs some kind of line between us.

  Without a word, Kyler slips his hands beneath my legs and around my back and he lifts me off the floor. I moan, dropping my head onto his chest. My head starts throbbing, and the rest of my body aches. Kyler lays me down, and I wince.

  “Where does it hurt?” he asks gently.

  I pat my stomach, and Kyler nods. “Get comfortable, I’ll be right back.” I slide further down into my bed, and watch him leave. A little while goes by, and Kyler returns with a bowl in his hand. He slips off his shoes, and I notice how good he looks. His dark suit pants fit his legs so snug, and his navy blue button up shirt does crazy things for his abs and his chest.

  “Scoot,” Kyler says, motioning for me to move over. He sits down next to me, and hands me the bowl. “Eat.”

  I take a sniff of the delicious aroma, and my mouth waters. “I can’t keep anything down.”

  “You have to at least try,” Kyler says.

  I mumble something under my breath, causing him to chuckle. “What is it?” I ask.

  “Soup. Now eat.”

  I take the first mouthful and groan in appreciation as the savory goodness assaults my senses.

  “Checkin noodle,” I mumble around the spoon. “My favorite.”

  After eating half the soup, I hand it back to Kyler, and rest my head on my pillow.

  “You don’t have to stay with me,” I tell him. My eyes are heavy, and a yawn escapes my mouth. “I’m sure you need to get back to the office. ” I feel his eyes on my face but I don’t look at him.

  “Actually, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

  This time, I do look at him and see nothing but honesty and sincerity. He’s telling the truth, and I don’t like how it makes me feel. It’s just another blurred line.

  Kyler’s hand rests on my hip, and he nudges me to roll over. With my back to his front, his arm wraps around my waist and he pulls me closer. His warmth blankets me, and soothes my muscles. Before I have time to think about what this means, my eyes drop and my breathing evens out. I’m lulled into sleep by Kyler’s warmth, and by how well our bodies fit together. For a fleeting moment, this is real. We’re more than just friends who sleep with each other. We’re real.

  It’s a few hours later when I start to stir. Kyler’s arm is wound tightly around me, and I twist, careful not to wake him. His face is relaxed, his mouth soft. He really is a beautiful man. Strong and virile. His day old stubble makes him look older, sexier. Rugged. His hair hangs on his forehead, touching his eyebrow, and I brush it away. His arm twitches and his legs intertwine with mine.

  “Stop staring at me,” he mumbles, his eyes remaining closed. “It’s a little creepy.”

  I grin, nestling just a little closer. He cracks an eye open, and I’m greeted by crystal clear blue. “Hi,” he sighs, his voice husky. He gives me a lazy smile and my insides flip.

  “Hey, sleepyhead.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Better,” I reply. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

  “It’s fine,” he says, kissing my nose. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.” “Me too. I might have to keep you on speed dial in case I need you to do house calls more often.”

  Kyler’s mouth tips into a half-smile and his eyes fill with laughter. “Sounds good,” he murmurs against my forehead.

  Kyler’s phone starts to ring and he rolls over onto his back to reach for it. I rest my chin on his chest as he answers, “Hello?”

  His eyes drop to me and a slow smile spreads across his face. “Yeah, she’s fine….hmmm hmmm…No, I’m not leaving her… Yes, I’ll probably stay the night…And tomorrow night…” he rolls his eyes, “Okay, fine…” He hands the phone to me. “It’s for you.”

  Frowning, I bring the phone up to my ear. “Hello?”

  “Hi, babe! You feeling better?” Quinn’s voice comes through the phone, much to my bewilderment.

  “Much better,” I reply. “But how did you know I was feeling sick to begin with?”

  Quinn mumbles something in the background, presumably talking to Jarred, and then replies, “Kyler called me while you were asleep.”

  “Oh.�
��

  “Don’t sound so surprised, Cass,” she pauses. “Do you think you can slip away from him for a minute? I need to talk to you about something.” “Sure,” I reply. I hold the phone away from me, and look at Kyler. “I’ll just be a minute.”

  “Can I order some dinner?” he asks, still smiling.

  “Please, I’m starving. Take-out menus are on the fridge.”

  He slips out of bed, but not before he kisses me on the forehead. Another blurred line, I think to myself. When his footsteps grow softer, I bring his phone back to my ear. “Okay, Quinny, I’m all yours.”

  She sighs. “I think Kyler is falling in love with you.”

  “What? Why would you think that? Did he say anything?”

  “No, but he didn’t have to. I could hear it in his voice when he called me earlier.”

  “Quinn, I’m pretty sure you’re wrong. It’s not like that with us, you know that.”

  “I know, but I think things may have changed for him, Cass, even if he hasn’t realized it yet.”

  “Why are you telling me this?” I ask quietly.

  “Because deep down, you know I’m right, and I think your feelings for him might have changed, too. Maybe it’s time to take another risk, and tell him?” “I can’t, Quinn. That will mean this is over, and I don’t want to lose him just yet.”

  “How can you be so certain you’ll lose him?”

  “I just am, okay. I just want a bit more time with him, before…” “Cass, it’s only going to be harder later on. So, you have a choice here; you can either run scared, or you can take a risk and jump.”

  “I don’t know,” I breathe out. “Tell me what to do, Quinn.”

  She lets out a soft laugh on the other end of the line. “Be honest with yourself, Cass. If you feel something for him, tell him. If he walks away, you’ll get to say you took a risk for the first time in your life, and if he doesn’t, you’ll get a chance to realize that you and Kyler are meant to be together. It’s a winwin, in my opinion.”

  “I have to go,” Quinn continues. “But think about what I said. I’ll see you at work tomorrow, okay?”

  “Okay, see you tomorrow. Love you.”

  “Love you, too, sis. Bye.”

  I end the call feeling more confused than ever. It seems that I’m at a crossroad, one I should’ve been able to anticipate. And while I knew there would be a possibility I’d have to walk away from Kyler, the choice doesn’t feel so simple anymore. With Quinn’s words floating through my mind, I make my way to the kitchen where Kyler is dishing up some pizza. He smiles when he sees me, and I wonder if Quinn could be right, if Kyler could possibly feel more for me. mFor tonight though, I don’t want to think about it. Instead, Kyler and I eat pizza, watch crappy television and curl up on the sofa. It’s perfect, even if it’s just an illusion of what could be.

  ~ Kyler ~

  Growing up, my favorite time was always the calm after the storm, when everything grew quiet. Those times were the only moments I experienced peace and serenity, like everything was as it should be. Looking as Cassey, I feel that again. Her lips are pouted, a slight frown between her brows, and her chest moves up and down in a steady rhythm with her breathing. I’ve been watching her like a total creeper, amusing myself because she did exactly the same thing yesterday.

  She moans, and I watch her kick off the sheets. Her back arches, and her fists clutch at the sheet covering the mattress. She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip as her body continues to writhe. I feel my cock harden.

  Is she having

  “Kyler.” The way Cassey breathes my name out halts all coherent thought. “Ohhh.”

  I smirk. My girl is having a wet dream, starring yours truly. I would laugh if I wasn’t so turned on by it.

  Her eyes fly open and her chest heaves.

  “Good dream?” I tease.

  Her head whips in my direction, her eyes growing wide. “Oh no,” she whines, covering her face with her arm. I chuckle and pull her closer to me. “Watching you have a wet dream about me,” I kiss her slightly damp neck, “is so fucking sexy. You should dream about me more often.”

  “Twice is enough,” she mumbles under her breath.

  I lift my head. “It’s happened before?”

  A rose-colored blush fills the apples of Cassey’s cheeks and she tucks her head into my shoulder, nodding.

  “Tell me,” I whisper into her ear.

  “Tell you what?”

  “What your dreams were about.”

  “Uhhh uhhh.” Cassey shakes her head, trying to pry herself free but I roll over and trap her beneath me.

  “Please.”

  She sighs, and opens her legs. I move my hips, rubbing the rigid head of my erection against her center.

  “You don’t play fair,” she breathes out.

  “I never have.” I grin against her mouth and kiss her deeply, coaxing her tongue with mine. I slide my hands down and they disappear into her sleep shorts as I cup and squeeze her butt. Her body goes stiff for a second and I know what she’s worried about.

  “Relax, Cass, I won’t touch you.”

  I continue to rub her pussy with my hard length, seducing her body and soliciting a breathy moan as I suck her bottom lip into my mouth. I press my hips down harder and increase the pressure on her clit just enough to set her off. A deep, breathy moan makes its way up from her throat. Her cheeks flush, and she tries to catch her breath.

  “Was it anything like that in your dream?” I ask, grinning widely. Her lips twitch, and her bright green eyes roam my naked chest. “No,” she murmurs. “My dreams had handcuffs.”

  I feel my brows rise and my curiosity piques. “Handcuffs, huh? We’ll have to do something about that, won’t we.”

  Cassey’s arms wrap my around my neck and she pulls me down to her mouth.

  “Promise?” I feel her smirk against my mouth.

  “Hmmm hmmm,” I reply, crashing our mouths together. Her hands slide through the strands of my hair, and my body relaxes into her. My cock is so hard it hurts, but making out like teenagers is just as good.

  My phone vibrates, and I moan, dropping my forehead to Cassey’s neck. “You should answer that,” she says with a giggle. “I’m going to take a shower.”

  “Without me?”

  “Join me after you take that call,” she replies. She smiles and gives me a chaste kiss.

  “I can’t wait that long. Whoever is calling can call back later.”

  Cassey reaches over, and checks my phone before giving it to me. “It’s your mom, I suggest you take it.” She slides out from under me and swings her hips on her way to the bathroom. I’m so distracted that I almost forget my phone is ringing.

  “Hi, Mom,” I greet, sitting up.

  My mother sniffles on the other end of the line, and her next words make the floor drop out from under my feet.

  “Kyler, sweetheart, it’s your Father. He collapsed. We’re at the hospital.”

  Chapter 11

  ~ Cassey ~

  Helpless. That’s how I feel. I see the fear and pain marring Kyler’s face, and wish there was something I could do to ease it. But I can’t. Life is cruel and unpredictable, and I feel my heart crack between my ribs for what he’s about to face.

  “What do you mean you have something else to tell me?” Kyler grinds out, his hands balled into fists. I rest my hand on his arm, hoping to calm him, but he just brushes me off.

  His mother, Estelle, sniffles, and looks down at her weary husband. He nods once and her sad, desolate eyes move back to Kyler.

  “Your father,” she takes a breath, and I can see she’s struggling to keep her composure, “has stage four pancreatic cancer.”

  Kyler’s face pales and he looks between his parents. “How long have you known?”

  “A week,” his father croaks out. I cover my mouth with my hand, and feel the tears burning my eyes.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Kyler roars. His mother flinches, and her tears start streaming
down her face.

  “Son,” his father reprimands. Even in his weak state, Robert Knight’s voice still has an authoritative tone.

  “No, Dad! I deserved to know! You’re dying, and you didn’t think your only son needed to know?”

  Another sob comes from across the room and my heart drops at the sight of Estelle. She’s devastated.

  I bring my hand up to Kyler’s chest, his heart racing beneath my palm. “Kyler,” I call his name softly, and he looks at me.

  His eyes are glazed, tears forming and spilling over the rims of his eyelids. It kills me to see him like this, so confused and so lost, like a little boy instead of a grown man. His body relaxes and he drops into the chair next to his father’s hospital bed. His head rests in his palms, and I watch his shoulders shake as he cries.

  “Cassey, sweetheart.”

  My eyes dart up at the sound of Robert’s voice, and he gives me a sad smile. “Can you give us a minute, please?”

  I nod, wiping my face, and he turns to his wife. “Let me talk to him,” he says to her. She kisses his forehead and then his lips. I feel like I’m intruding, but I can’t tear my eyes away from them. Their love and adoration for one another is palpable, and so true that my heart breaks all over again.

  I couldn’t imagine having to say goodbye to the love of my life after spending more than half my life with that person at my side. Estelle walks over to me, and I wrap my arms around her waist as we leave Kyler and his father alone. I don’t know what to say, so I keep quiet. Estelle doesn’t seem to mind though. She sits silently in the uncomfortable waiting room chair and stares out the window.