Redemption - A Darla Gray Novel
Page 32
Wiping the last of her tears aside she took her sons face in her hands. No words passed between them as she drank in the sight of him. What she saw were so many similarities of both her and his father. His father’s nose, her lips, but one thing that hadn’t changed were the ice blue eye’s that mirrored her own. Fully grown he looked almost exactly as she had imagined.
“I have missed you with every breath.”
“I missed you too mom.”
His voice sounded different. Deeper, stronger, more masculine and yet there was still a hint of the boy she had lost.
“I don’t understand all of this?”
Adam had anticipated her confusion at his appearance. In her mind she would have expected no less than the child she had lost. “You said goodbye to me as a young child once before and it nearly destroyed you; I couldn’t bear for you to suffer the same pain again. When the time must come for us to part this will make it easier for you to let me go.”
Adam saw the anguish leap into her eyes. “No Mom, don’t torment yourself; you know you don’t belong here. We have the rest of the day ahead of us; let’s not spend it in sorrow.”
Knowing he was right she buried the panic that had started to rise. If they only had this one day together she was determined they would enjoy it, relishing every last minute.
“So is this how you would have looked had you not…?” Her voice caught.
“Died?” Adam finished. “It’s Okay to say it you know.”
Darla buried her face in her hands. “Oh Adam I feel like I failed you.”
“No Mom, never that,” he said fiercely, holding her tight once more. “Don’t you realise, the time I had with you was so much more than I could ever have wished for. There were days that I felt your love so deeply that I was overwhelmed by it. No child has ever been as blessed.” Adam smiled down at her.
She drank in the sight of his handsome face. “You have your fathers smile.”
“And my mother’s capacity to love.” Adam grew serious. “It is that love has helped me come to a decision, one I hope you will understand. The reason we will only ever have today is because I have chosen to go back.”
“Go back? Go back where?”
The love he felt for his mother warmed his soul and he desperately needed for her to understand the choice he had made. “I have elected to be reborn.”
Darla understood immediately. “You’re going to your father. Alistair and Monique’s unborn child… it’s you isn’t it?”
Adam took her hands in his. “I love you Mom and I have no desire to cause you pain, but this is something I have to do. Dad was never as strong as you. I know you feel that you were weak by attempting to end your life but you are so wrong. What you did took courage; facing the unknown just to be with me. Dad on the other hand hides behind make believe; pretending that Monique and the baby will make everything right again. It won’t. But if I go back it will ease things. He will see the son that he lost in the new baby through the help of my soul.
‘But my doing this will never take away what I feel for you. I just hope you can accept my decision and forgive me.”
Darla swallowed past the tight lump in her throat. “So this means you will get a chance to live again? To laugh and play? To love and grow old?” her eye’s pooled with unshed tears. “Don’t you see Adam? That was all I ever wished for you.”
Knowing what it took for her to say those words made him realise why God had chosen his beautiful mother for the task ahead. “And Monique…..?” he asked apprehensively.
“Is a good, kind and loving woman,” Darla finished. “I couldn’t ask any better for my son. She’ll make a wonderful mother.” Darla was determined not to show him how much it hurt to say the words.
“Hey it’s not all bad,” she added brushing aside her own selfish jealousies. “With my newly acquired ‘gift’ I will be able to pop in from time to time to check on how you’re doing.”
“But in my new host I will not know you,” he whispered, not wishing to hurt her but believing she deserved the truth.
“But I will know you. I will get to watch you grow and flourish. That in itself will give me peace.”
Suppressing the pain and longing for a life that was never to be, Darla hugged her son close. This was their final goodbye. After today he would no longer be hers to hold. And yet where before there had only been pain now stood something entirely different. Hope. Adam would finally have the life she had always dreamt of for him.
“I suggest that if this day is all we have left then maybe we should get comfy and reminisce over happier times. See how many memories we can come up with between the two of us.”
Adam lay back on the soft grass beside Darla. Taking her hand in his he was content to bask in the overwhelming love he felt for her. Today wasn’t just her time to say goodbye it was also a chance for him to let go of a mother he totally adored.
Even now she was oblivious of the impact that she had made on his short life. To have lived in the heavens over-watching her continual suffering for him it had been worse than dying from the dreadful disease that had claimed his life.
Part of his decision to return to earth had been so he didn’t have to witness her torment any longer. And having made that decision, with his father’s future secured he was then granted the gift of knowing what destiny had in store for his mother.
Hers was a future of such importance to the survival of mankind that he knew what he had to do was right. Darla could not afford such a distraction as a dead son’s soul that she could visit at will. As painful as their parting would be, it was a necessary evil they would both have to endure.
The rest of their afternoon was spent lying in the cool, sweet smelling grass exchanging memories of much happier times, their joyous laughter ringing out across the heavens.
* * * *
Quinn prowled the hard stone surface of the mountain of light. His savage pacing led him in an endless path back and forth for what seemed like forever; Darla’s absence a constant ache that gnawed at his heart.
Michael had with the help of his angelic powers produced food and water for the others all of whom had refused to leave without seeing proof of Darla’s safe return. Quinn had refused the Archangels generosity adding further cause for concern to the group.
The day passed slowly for all those that waited until finally Michael made a sudden and unexpected movement. The entire group surrounded him in seconds watching intently as he tilted his head slightly as if listening to words the others were not privy to.
Quinn fought to remain calm. Was Darla Okay? Had anything happened to her? His hands clenched as he struggled with the urge to grab the Archangel by the collar of his pristine shirt and shake him until he spoke.
Michael chose that moment to snap out of his…whatever it had been, and addressed Maisey. “My Lord requests your presence.”
“What news of Darla?” Quinn snarled in frustration.
Michael face revealed nothing. “There is none.”
Quinn spun away with a curse, once again taking up the endless pacing from before.
Michael held out his hand and Maisey felt her stomach churn nervously. She had lost count of the number of times in the past that she had been summoned for meetings with Big G- including the very first time when she had been just a young girl relatively new to Redemption- but this time it was different. With this meeting she could be waking up in a new life, in a new home with new memories of a past that had never really existed.
All those that she had grown to care about, that had helped her build a life in Redemption would be lost to her forever. Admittedly her desire to return to earth was too strong for her to refuse the opportunity and yet there were those that she would miss had she been allowed the privilege of remembering them.
Big G was not one to be kept waiting and yet if this was her final goodbye… “Quinn.” The fear in her voice was enough to reach him, stopping him in his tracks.
With emotions running high, see
ing the fierce petite redhead suddenly looking unsure of herself he tore up the ground between them lifting her up into a fierce bear hug. There were very few people in Redemption he had time for and even less that he genuinely cared about, but Maisey however was not one of them. The feisty redheaded boss of C.A.O.S had managed to earn his respect right from the early days of her arrival in Redemption when he had watched her fight with a fierce determination to succeed in a world completely alien to her. But more than that she had earned his friendship in the endless hours she had freely given in pursuit of his quest for revenge of an unfinished past.
Hell he was gonna miss her!
“Okay sugar.” She gasped struggling to draw in breath. “I’m gonna miss you too, but I really need to breathe right now.”
Quinn released her. Casting him a half-hearted look of reproach she smoothed her clothes out while the others joined them. Larissa patted her arm in a sisterly gesture, quite an achievement by any standards and Gallion inclined his head in a stoic salute.
Maisey sighed and held her hand out to the patiently waiting Archangel. “Well if this is goodbye I just wanna say it’s been a blast. I’ll be seeing y’all.” A last little wave and both she and Michael vanished.
The silence was deafening. Quinn starred for a moment at the empty space before resuming his pacing, signalling he was in no mood for any further discussions while Larissa and Gallion moved to seat themselves a safe distance away from the black mood that surrounded him.
* * * *
Adams head rested in Darla’s lap. Content just to stare at him, her fingers gently stroked his hair while she revealed in the contentment on his face. Their last hour had passed in quiet reflection each of them aware that their time together was drawing to a close. This is where their journey would end leading them off onto separate paths.
Darla fought to ignore the tingle that plagued at her arm. She knew instinctively that some internal connection was beckoning her to use her gift and open a doorway. But her will was stronger and no matter the pain she knew from experience it was nothing compared to letting go of her son.
There was no sense of time in Heaven for her to judge how long she had been there. No sun to rise or set; no darkness to signal the onset of night; just endless clear blue skies. It felt as though a whole day had passed and yet it might simply have been just a few hours. There really was no way of telling but with the pain in her arm steadily increasing she knew time was against her. Her contentment fled.
Sensing the shift in her emotions Adam opened his ice blue eyes and starred up at her. “I know,” he whispered. “I feel it too.”
Her heart wrenched when she saw his eyes pool with unshed tears. She had been so lost in her own pain that she had not stopped to consider how this would affect Adam. Pushing her own suffering aside she opened her arms and he slipped into her embrace. “Ssshh,” she soothed, stroking his back. “This is not the end sweetheart, it’s a new beginning; for both of us.” She blinked furiously at her tears not wishing to upset him further.
Holding him at arm’s length she reached up and cupped his face in both hands. “I swear to you on all that is holy that I will never stop loving you and I will always be near to watch over you.”
Adam nodded and solemnly helped her to her feet. “It’s time,” he whispered, looking wistfully towards the celestial city. Pulling her close he hugged her fiercely one last time. “It hurts.” He croaked his voice a tortured blend of adult and child.
Darla felt his reluctance to let go and she loved him all the more for it. She would always have her memories of their life together, but for him this really was goodbye. From his first breath in his new life all ties to her would be severed, all memories lost forever of a past he would never again remember.
Slowly but steadily he drew away widening the distance between them until only the tips of their fingers still touched. “I love you Mom and I really wish I could be there at the end of your journey. You will be magnificent.”
One more step and their contact broke; his ill supressed sob nearly defeated her resolve. The distance between them increased with each step he took taking him further away from her.
“I love…,” sweeping her tongue across her teeth Darla fought the tide of tears. “I love you Adam,” she cried frantically as his figure slowly faded into a faceless shadow.
“Always,” came the faint reply as the shadowy figure dissolved into a tiny shining light that drifted across the gleaming field in search of the heavenly city.
Rooted to the spot high on the rolling slope, Darla remained long after Adams soul had re-joined the others. The stinging sensation in her arm had long since become a burning fever pitch of pain and yet it was that pain that she now found so welcoming; an intense burning that unfurled its way from shoulder to wrist, anchoring her to a reality that was under unimaginable pressure to abandon in place of the cold emptiness of oblivion.
“Darla.”
At first she hardly registered the soft spoken voice beside her. It wasn’t until she felt the gentle touch of a hand slipping inside hers that she realised she was no longer alone.
“Let’s go home sugar.” The soothing lilt of a southern accent broke her gaze from the glistening city.
Her eye’s pooled with tears and her lips trembled. “He’s gone.” She whispered.
Maisey tenderly tucked a wisp of Darla’s hair behind her ear, her face full of sympathy and compassion. “Sshhh I know.” She brushed her tears aside as they silently began to fall. “But we need to go.”
“Go? Go where?” Darla asked feeling lost and alone.
“Home.” Came the reply
* * * *
As the two women emerged from the portal, Larissa and Gallion rushed forward warmly greeting them. Quinn hung back his relief almost overwhelming him at the sight of Darla’s save return; but that was until he saw the level of her distress; the heavy rise and fall of her chest, swollen puffy eyes; all signs of her ordeal.
Detaching herself from the group Darla made her way to the side of the mountain, and Quinn instantly moved to follow only to find his path blocked by Maisey. “I know you need to be with her but I’m asking you, please, just give her a moment. She’s just said goodbye to her son; that’s something she needs to deal with herself if she ever plans to move on.”
Quinn glared at her. “How come you’re back?” he asked, not really caring at that moment but needing something to take his mind off what Darla was going through.
“No need to worry, you’re not gonna have me to boss you around for very much longer. I still got a one way ticket out of Redemption, but first there’s a few remaining details I need to discuss with our girl over there.”
Quinn flicked her an angry glance. “You really think she’s up to discussing anything right now? Goddammit anyone can see how torn up she is.”
The redhead winked and smiled. “Trust me. Five more minutes and it all finally begins.”
“What does?” Quinn snapped angrily at her cryptic response.
A blinding flash of light signalled Michael’s return.
Maisey started toward the Archangel. “The first step on the road to her destiny,” she whispered to Quinn as she passed him by.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Darla soaked up the unique beauty of Redemption sprawled out before her in all its glory for as far as the eye could see. Her heart ached and her arms felt the hollow emptiness of her loss. But this time, as her tears slowly subsided she felt a huge difference from how it had been before.
The dull numbing emotionless pain- her silent companion for over two years- was no more. The darkness that had slowly crushed her soul had been lifted, and in its wake was a lightness of spirit that left her feeling light-headed and breathless.
Everything had changed!
No more living with the guilt that she had failed her son. No more grief and worry over the happiness of his soul, and no more hollow emptiness consuming her every waking moment.
Her soul was
free and had found the peace that it craved. She was free in the knowledge that Adam would be just fine. He would have the future he had always deserved and not only that, she would be blessed enough to experience it first-hand. Adam would live! Laughter rose inside her and her joy knew no bounds. Now…now there was everything to live for; a new future just waiting to be explored and a destiny that was hers for the taking. The idea left her giddy and excited.
Turning to the others she raked each one with a silent stare.
Gallion, agile and fast, he would be her eyes and ears; Larissa, cunning and resilient, her strength; and Michael, wise and powerful, he would be her council.
But Quinn…her eyes fell upon the man in question. Quinn was her rock, her love, everything she desired and more; and hopefully given enough time she would convince him of that. With such friends a prophesized destiny seemed so much less foreboding. Their concerned stares prompted her into action. “I expect you are all wondering what transpired in Heaven between Adam and I but that is something I can’t…” Darla took a shaky breath. “I’m not ready to talk about, not right now. But what I do want to say is that that part of my life is now closed. I’m not the person I was when I first came to Redemption.”
Looking down at her arm covered in the unusual glyphs she gave an ironic little chuckle. “And believe it or not I don’t just mean this. If the truth be told I don’t know exactly who I am right now. The past two years…after Adam, and all that has happened since I entered this world… it changes a person. If you’d asked me a month ago if I’d believed in supernatural beings I would have laughed and yet now I find myself in the company of you all.”
The small group smiled at her comment, with the exception of Michael whose expression never wavered.
“I guess what I’m trying to say,” Darla continued, “is that I don’t know how those changes will affect me, but what I do know is that as ‘Gods first chosen’ I have an important destiny to fulfil and the fate of the human race depends on it. I can’t do this by myself. For two long years I have been alone, voluntarily isolated from the world… I don’t want to live like that anymore.”