Love's Hiding

by Karen Deen

  I heard Emily sobbing through the phone when we called with the news. Now we just needed to deliver them into her waiting arms and all would be right with the world again. Well almost. I needed to get back home to Zoe and wrap her in my arms. I felt unsettled with the way I ran out on her. I had no other option. She would understand but it still wasn’t sitting right with me. It should have been us both in the car together. I wished I could just shout to the world what was happening but it just wasn’t the time.

  Everyone fussed over the kids. Standing back, the scene looked like something one day I’d like to be in the middle of. A wife, a couple of kids. My own little family, to love and protect. I wasn’t ready yet, but it was a thought for down the track.

  Mom cooked up a storm while we were out searching. It was what she did when there was a crisis. Dad might be the head of our family, the strength, but Mom was the one who held us all together. You couldn’t always see her glue, they were always there, hanging on tight, ensuring everything was just where it should be. That was our mom. Seeing her family happy and healthy was all she wanted. That, and the love of my dad which he gave her in spades.

  Dad gave us the nod to head over to Zach’s house away from the kids so Emily could get them settled. I took the time to give Zoe a quick call. I needed to tell her the kids were safe. She would be going out of her mind not knowing. I expected her to pick up on the first ring. I pictured her sitting with her cell in her hand. After the call went to message bank three times, I grew concerned. Quickly typing a text message, I don’t get to finish it before my cell rang.

  “Are they okay? Have you found them?” Her panicked voice boomed in my ear.

  “They’re safe and back home.” Zoe sighed with relief. “I’ll fill you in when I get back home. Mom has just got some food cooked up, as you would expect, so as soon as I can get out of here without too many questions, I’ll be back with you. I’m so sorry the way I ran out. I panicked.”

  “Luke, I totally get it. But, I’m…” Her pause raised the hair on my arms. “I’m not at your place. I came home.”

  “What! Why? I asked you to stay and wait.” My voice was short and rougher than it should have been. The morning was not at all what I was hoping for.

  “The arrogant visitor you have sitting in your kitchen was enough to have me running.”

  “Zoe, what the hell are you talking about?”

  “Andrew turned up to see you. Scared the hell out of me. He wouldn’t leave so I snuck out instead. That’s the short version.”

  What the hell had he done? First, he scared her off with his phone call, and now she’s run out again because of him. I would shake the shit out him.

  “What did he say to you? Did he upset you? How did he get in the goddamn house? Why did you let him in?” My rage was building. I needed to control it, but it was getting harder by the minute.

  “Let’s just say my first impression of Andrew on the phone was spot on. He’s a douche! I’m unsure how you two are even friends.” I started to think Zoe might be right about our friendship. Things were changing. Or maybe it was me who was changing, while Andrew seemed stuck in a time warp.

  “I didn’t let him in to the house. You did, you idiot. You left your gate and garage open. He wouldn’t leave so I snuck out. I don’t like him, Luke, he gives me bad vibes. Sorry.” Her voice dropped to just above a whisper. “You need to go back to the family and join in. I’m fine. Call me later tonight if you get a chance with Andrew there.”

  I was torn. I wanted to jump in the car and rush to comfort her. I knew Andrew had rocked her. The other part of me wanted to get in the truck, go home, and smack Andrew around the back of the head. Reality was, all I could do was go back inside and sit with my family. Zoe told me she was okay and being at her apartment, she was safe.

  “Are you sure you’re okay? Don’t lie to me. If you need me, I’m in the truck and there. You just say the word.” I knew she wouldn’t tell me the truth, and being on the phone, I couldn’t read her facial expression. The only thing I had to go by was her unsettled voice.

  “Luke, I’m fine. Promise.” If I had learned one thing from having sisters, it was that no woman would said she was fine, was fine.

  “I don’t really believe you but the only thing I can take comfort in is that you’re home and I know you’re safe. I’ll come and see you on my way home before I sort out Andrew.”

  “No, please stay with your family and then go home to your friend. Call me later. I’ll have a quiet one at home. I think I need some time out to regroup after last night. There are certain muscles that need resting and that includes my lips.” A little giggle escaped from her which helped me settle.

  “I can’t say I’m happy about any of this. I’m going to do what I need, and then you’ll hear from me, that you can guarantee.”

  Sammy came running across the yard toward me. “Uncle Luke. Uncle Luke. Come play with me. Let’s wrestle.” That kid did not know how to do anything quietly.

  “That sounds like your cue to get off the phone. Give them a big hug from me. Talk later, okay?”

  “Zoe, I didn’t get time to say anything this morning. Just know, I had the most awesome night last night. No matter what has happened in the past, or might happen in the future. I want this. I want you so much. Never doubt that. Okay?”

  Then her voice changed. “Me too, Luke. Me too. I’m so scared, but I can’t walk away. Call me later.”

  The moment I heard the line disconnect, Sammy was all over me, crawling up my back and telling me to get moving so he could ride me like a bucking bull. A few rides around the yard, then I’d be dealing with Andrew. He was going to get a mouthful from me. If Zoe asked him to leave, he should’ve walked straight out the door. He should’ve called me after she left and told me what happened. What was he even doing there? He was supposed to be in Vegas with all the boys.

  I wished I could just go back to bed and start the day all over again with Zoe snuggly wrapped around me. Second time around I wouldn’t even get out of bed.

  22

  Zoe

  I KNEW IT WAS A SATURDAY, but Dr. Fordosa told me I could call at any time, if I really needed her. Today was one of those days. I learned a long time ago, that it was okay not to be okay. To ask for help was being brave. Just talking with her for the last thirty minutes helped me feel back in control. We talked about my reaction to Andrew this morning, how perhaps I was overreacting because everything was developing with Luke and my emotions were in overload. This was my first time in a serious relationship. My defences were lowered which had never happened with anyone previously. She didn’t discount my gut feeling alerting me to something about Andrew, and confirmed that I was best to stay away.

  Taking time out in the fresh air to walk helped me clear my head and focus on my direction. When Luke and I got time alone again, we needed to talk about how we could do this. I still wanted to keep it to ourselves until we worked it all out. I couldn’t risk losing my job, my friends, and the only family I knew. Luke would have to accept that as my condition. When we felt it was the right time to tell everyone, then Luke could shout it from the rooftops. I didn’t have anyone to tell besides his family and I was certain they would be the first he’d tell.

  What was I thinking? We spent one night together and I was talking about announcing relationships like we were getting married or something. It was just one night, one completely out-of-this-world night. I felt like a school girl and Luke was my first school boy crush. The one you’d had your heart set on for such a long time when you thought he didn’t even know you existed, but then one day surprised you by confessing you were his own crush. I wanted to live in that moment because it had never happened to me before, and I wanted to savor every second.

  Luke

  “What the fuck, Andrew? What the hell happened at my place this morning? You scared Zoe and didn’t leave when she asked you to! What are you even doing here?” My temper had overtaken me as soon as he answered the phone.
I was trying to keep calm but it just wasn’t happening.

  “Woah, calm down, man. She really does have you by the balls, doesn’t she?” His laugh made me get more agitated.

  “Be careful, otherwise you will lose your balls when I see you. We aren’t in college anymore, man. Show some respect, asshole.”

  “What has gotten into you, Luke? You need to chill a little. I didn’t touch her. I joked around with her and then the next thing I know, she’d disappeared. Took off in one of your cars.”

  “You didn’t think to ring me then? I love you, man, but you know how I feel about her. I am pissed at you right now.”

  “No shit! Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare her. We can sort this out when you get home and talk face to face. No dramas if I stay with you for the weekend?” I wanted to say no so I could see Zoe again and I was still so angry at him. He was my oldest friend before today, my closest friend, so I couldn’t allow one mistake ruin that. I just needed to talk to him about getting his act together and to grow up. Crap, I sounded like Grant and that sucked.

  “Look, I need to calm down, so I’m staying out here at Zach’s for a meal. You’re welcome to hang there for the day or you can go out for the day and I will meet you back there tonight. We’ll catch up then over a few beers. Sound okay with you?” An afternoon with the kids and my family was always going to make me laugh. My little mate Sammy was as funny as I was. Well, maybe not quite.

  “Yeah, that sounds good. I’m really sorry, man, I didn’t mean to stuff things up. I’ll see you later.”

  “It’s okay. Just remember, no one knows about Zoe, so keep your trap shut. Got it!” I was making sure he didn’t ruin anything just yet. He’d done enough damage for the day.

  “Got it. Bye.” With that, he was gone. I was left wondering what happened in the last twenty-four hours. Maybe we had a full moon. The universe was spinning crazy things my way.

  Messaging Zoe, I filled her in on my talk with Andrew and my plans to call her later. Not quite what I’d planned for the night. I was learning with Zoe, you couldn’t rush her. She needed time to process change and her emotions. I didn’t know much about anxiety. I guessed she needed to think and get comfortable. I would give her a little time, but then I wasn’t letting go. I felt some comfort in her words that she was scared but still wanted me. We could do this. I was happy to be her secret for as long as it took. I’ve had no choice.

  The day went quick and by the time I drove down the drive, I felt awesome. I spent the journey home chatting to Zoe on the phone. We talked through this morning and how she felt. She told me she contacted her counsellor which I was proud of. She was so much stronger than she gave herself credit for. We talked about her meeting Andrew another time when we were together, and things had progressed more. By then, hopefully, she’d have learned he wasn’t so bad. The best part of the call was about last night and us. She opened up, which I knew was hard for her. I felt like I could walk on water. It would be hard but keeping this relationship a secret was what she needed, and I actually agreed with her. A part of me wanted to tell everyone, the other part - yes, the dirty part of my brain - was already thinking of all the little sneaky hook-ups we could have. This could be fun.

  A few beers down and things were back to normal. I caught up on everything happening in Andrew’s world and mine. He seemed a little lost. The family business was now resting on his shoulders and it weighed pretty heavy. It opened my eyes to what Grant went through. Maybe, I didn’t give him enough credit for what he did for our family. Maybe, what he said had a little truth at times, with my jokes and growing up. I wasn’t the little boy he thought I was, but life was serious at times, and I needed to step up more for him when that happened.

  My night finished perfectly by text conversation with my girl. The messages were getting flirtier, and a lot dirtier. Life was great. This was my new norm.

  23

  Nine months later

  Zoe

  I WASN’T SURE LUKE would cope with dating in secret. It was a lot to ask a man, especially one who was so close to his family. Once he realized the benefits of having me to himself and not having to share, he was all for it. We’d gone out with his family a few times and managed to keep our hands to ourselves. Well, most of the time. There had been a few dark corridors, a broom cupboard, a back alley, a toilet, behind a tree on a picnic table, the haunted house at the fair. Okay, maybe we needed to rephrase that. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other, we were just really good at hiding it. Of course, the make-out session on Grant’s desk late one night was a big ‘fuck you’ from Luke for making us live in hiding.

  We tried to take things slow at first but that didn’t last long. The best part of our relationship was when we were on our own. It gave us plenty of time to talk, get to know each other, the good and the bad. Luke knew when to push me and when to walk away. At first, I was so scared in the office. He would walk past me with the cheekiest grin and a little wink. We’d become great at reading body language and reading lips. Many times, he walked away leaving me giggling, with an ache in my body because I needed to touch him. My soul responded to his whenever he was near. It was a connection I had no control over. One of the biggest things I respected him for, was not pushing me on my past. He protected and kept me safe. He even offered to speak to my counsellor, if I wanted him to. Luke let me learn to trust him through his actions. In every way, he understood me and what I needed. No one in my life had ever taken the time to do that. Not even the parents who gave me life.

  We had one dinner with Andrew when he was in town for some business. He apologized to me, but I still didn’t like him. More to the point, I didn’t trust him. For me, that meant everything. He invited us out to his place to get away from Luke’s close family who spent a lot of time together. It was tempting to go away with Luke, to be able to walk down the street holding hands and not worry about who would see us. Maybe soon, just not yet. I was unsure if I wanted to be that close to Andrew for any extended time frame.

  Luke was leaving for a conference for a few days. He begged me to come away with him. I wanted to but was nervous it was too much. Someone might find out by seeing us at the conference and say something to Grant. I’d miss him terribly. It was only two nights. Two long nights of being in my bed on my own. That was a rarity these days. Luke made sure of that. There wasn’t much sleeping involved, so perhaps two days would be good for me to catch up on sleep, ready for his return. That would be a night of no sleep and plenty of loving. One could only hope.

  A new email brought me back to reality. Most had left the office for the day but I was finishing reports Zach needed to get to the customer by the morning. He didn’t spend as much time in the office anymore. With Emily pregnant, he was fussing over her constantly. From the time she moved into the house with him, and they got married, that poor woman couldn’t breathe without him worrying over her. It was so cute. They were the sweetest couple. The twins, Sophia and Sammy, had won a big piece of my heart. They were adorable and my heart swelled for them knowing their childhood was hard and now they were loved unconditionally by us all. That’s what I thought fairy-tales were made of when I was growing up.

  Wrapping the reports in the courier satchel, I headed to the lift to take them down to security at the front desk. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Luke striding down the corridor, mischief in his eyes. Standing behind me as I waited for the lift, I could feel his presence. My skin tingled, his eyes wandering over my body, his breath on the back of my neck, and mouth at my ear.

  “Get in the lift and do not turn around. Place your hands on the wall and spread your legs. I don’t have long.” His whisper made my legs weak.

  “We can’t,” I gasped.

  “No talking.” The bell dinged announcing the lift’s arrival. This late in the day, no one would be inside. Thank God, because Luke was standing dangerously close to me for a boss-employee relationship.

  I hesitated, my feet frozen to the floor.


  “Now, kitten.” The low voice vibrated through to that place. The voice he used that already had me wet for him before he even touched me.

  Slowly, the message got through to my feet. I saw us in the mirror as the doors closed behind us. When the lift started its descent, Luke slapped the emergency stop button.

  “What are you doing?” I turned to look at him.

  “Eyes forward and spread those legs. I don’t have long, and I want one last fuck before I leave so you don’t forget who you belong to while I’m gone. I want your sweet juices all over my cock so tonight when I lay in bed missing you, I will know you’re still with me.”

  “Oh, God,” was all I could manage to moan while doing as I was told.

  Running his hands down my thighs he slipped my black skirt over my backside. He groaned as he revealed black lace panties. His favourite. Wasting no time, his finger slid down the edge of the lace, pulling it to the side. Lowering his mouth to my neck, he kissed my neck, working his way up to my ear. “Watch the mirror and don’t close your eyes. I want you to see what I’m doing to you. I want you to see how much I want you. Every. Single. Piece. Of. You. Don’t make a sound.”

  His finger hadn’t entered me, but I could feel how wet his words made me.

  “What if someone comes looking for us?” The small whisper escaped my mouth.

  “Someone will be coming, right here in the elevator, you can be sure of that, baby.” Sinking his teeth into my ear lobe, I rewarded him with another low moan. “Shh.” Leaning around me, he kissed me passionately, sliding two fingers into my pussy. He swallowed my murmur while working me higher into a frenzy. He pulled away, eyes telling me to keep quiet. Turning my head to look at him in the mirror, my body shuddered with desire. The burn in his eyes that was directed straight at me was explosive. Unsure how much longer I could last, I started to ride his hand, saying the words he was waiting for.