NOTES
1 Quoted in Philip Thody, Sartre (London: Studio Vista, 1971), 41.
2 Edmund Husserl, The Crisis in European Sciences and Transcendental Phenomenology, trans. David Carr (Evanston: Northwestern Univ. Press, 1970), 164.
3 Jacques Monod, Chance and Necessity, trans. Austryn Wainhouse (London: Collins, 1972), 156.
4 Ibid., 159, 160.
5 Ibid., 152, 153.
6 Karl R. Popper, Objective Knowledge (Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1972), 37, 20, 36, 70.
7 Ibid., 84.
8 Gregory Bateson, Steps towards an Ecology of Mind (London: Intertext, 1972), 118, 119, 277.
9 J. Z. Young, A Model of the Brain (Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1964), 164.
10 Ibid, 196.
11 Ibid, 287.
12 Susanne Langer, Mind: An Essay on Human Feeling, 2 vols. (Baltimore: Johns Hopkins Univ. Press, 1967), 1:xviii.
13 Ibid, 150.
14 Popper, 46.
LANDFALL
BARMAN
who played
ACKERMAN
HARRY
who played
JASON
CHAR
who played
HELENA
OLDER HOSTESS who played JUDITH
YOUNGER HOSTESS (SOPHIE) who played JENNY
BERT
who played
ARIEL
ACT I
Before the lights in the auditorium are out, the CURTAIN collapses. It lies at the front of the stage.
The stage is in darkness. Then neon lights flicker and settle into a glow.
The SCENE is a refreshment room — as if at an old country house, or at a small local airport.
On the right are a plate-glass window and a glass door. On the left is a stone gothic doorway.
There is a bar along the back To the right of the bar is a machine which could be a coffee machine or a juke box. To the left of the bar is a hatch to a food lift.
There are two stools in front of the bar. Centre, are two tables with four chairs round each.
Harry is standing by the window, right, looking out. The glass is opaque, or as if there were a mist beyond the window. Harry is a man in his forties. He wears an old overcoat.
The Barman, a man in his sixties, is crouching behind a table, left, with his hands over his ears. He straightens, dusts himself, looks at Harry. Then he looks up at the flies.
The characters alternate between acting realistically and theatrically; sometimes they seem to be not acting at all. Always it is as if they are trying to convey some message which can be conveyed in no better way.
BARMAN
Headache?
He puts a hand to his head: then answers himself—
No.
He faces the audience. He acts —
— Is this a dagger? —
He answers himself —
No.
He gets into the position of someone preparing to play a golf shot, to the right. He speaks as if giving a military order —
— Over the hill, two hundred yards —
He acts as if beginning to play the golf shot.
Then he stops and looks at Harry: he calls —
— Open —
He stands with his hands on his hips. He mouths, almost inaudibly —
— Fire?
Harry turns and looks at him.
The Barman looks up to the flies. Then he begins to back away as if something were falling towards him from the sky. He ducks behind the table, left, with his hands over his ears again.
Harry watches him.
After a time the Barman stands up and dusts himself. He takes up an attitude of boxing.
There’s a weathership out in the Atlantic.
It’s surrounded by vastly superior enemy forces —
He mimes boxing.
Then he stops. He looks at Harry.
After a time he puts a hand to his mouth and shouts —
Mind that donkey!
HARRY
You mean, I’m talking the hind leg off a donkey?
The Barman stares at him.
Then he moves round the stage.
BARMAN
I’ve got to get this place cleaned up. They’re coming in here — up through the sewers. Rats and frogmen. Breaking down the fences. Leaping up the waterfalls. On to the dry land.
He straightens the curtain at the front of the stage so that it is in a line along the footlights.
I had a small business once. I used to go out mornings and evenings. And I always knew where I was. Now they’re getting into government. And I’m most of the time in my room —
He stops and looks over the footlights.
What do you think this is, a Sunday School?
He puts his hands on his heart.
Come along then. Coop! Coop!
After a time he holds his hands out in front of him as if they contained a bird. Then he opens his hands and shakes them. He looks to the back of the auditorium as if the bird has flown away there.
HARRY
Are there aeroplanes flying?
BARMAN
Yes, there was one in nineteen hundred and two I think.
HARRY
What happened?
BARMAN
It went into a tree.
He turns from the audience and goes behind the bar and puts glasses and bottles from the shelves on to the counter.
Harry comes to the bar and sits on a stool. After a time he says as if it were the name of a game —
HARRY
— Can I have a drink? —
The Barman seems to follow his lead —
BARMAN
— No I haven’t got any change —
The Barman places the bottles around on the counter as if he were arranging pieces for a game.
Harry watches him. Then he murmurs —
HARRY
On this strange landscape —
BARMAN
Do I know you?
Harry and the Barman look at the pieces on the counter. It is as if they are uncertain of the nature of the game.
Harry seems to quote —
HARRY
— Open your mouth —
BARMAN
— And in she pops them —
After a time Harry bangs on the counter and yells —
HARRY
Can we have some discipline in this establishment!
BARMAN
Coming, sir! Sorry!
The Barman takes a glass and fills it.
Harry looks round the room. He says tentatively —
HARRY
What is it, a hairdresser’s?
The Barman pushes the full glass towards him. Harry says more confidently —
Broken needles everywhere! Shit —
BARMAN
We had a party last night, sir. A lot of young gentlemen —
Harry seems to quote —
HARRY
— On a dark night —
BARMAN
— Just down from the trees —
Harry pores over the counter.
After a time the Barman goes to the machine at the end of the bar, right, and pulls a lever.
The machine emits a puff of steam.
The Barman carries two mugs from the machine and sets them down in front of Harry. Harry watches them. Then he murmurs —
HARRY
Where did it go —
BARMAN
You remember?
He looks to the back of the auditorium.
Harry does not look up.
The Barman moves off round the stage again.
You know what this place once was? A bloody great house with lawns and gardens. A polo ground. A moat —
He wipes his hands on his body as if disgusted.
HARRY
No, I think those stories were greatly exaggerated —
Harry turns away, as if he were bored with the rules of the game.
BARMAN
Coming
and going all night.
HARRY
With a little black bag —
BARMAN
An aerial —
HARRY
Like the Defence Ministry?
They wait. It is as if the Barman is not quite sure if the game is over.
BARMAN
Would you like a drink? —
HARRY
Oh this one’s on me.
The Barman seems to quote —
BARMAN
— Have you got water and oil —
HARRY
— Don’t look now, Daddy —
Harry picks up a mug and drinks.
After a time the Barman comes to the front of the stage. He acts —
BARMAN
We’re off to Rome! The hula girls beneath the palm trees! A few minutes to go! Just time for a cup of tea! Hold on to me, daddy, or we’ll never cross the road. What did you say this place was? We’re outside our own hotel, daddy —
He stares out above the audience.
Harry speaks with his back to the Barman and the audience.
HARRY
You live here?
BARMAN
In a room downstairs —
HARRY
It wasn’t a big house. A lawn and garden —
The Barman interrupts —
BARMAN
She won’t speak to me —
HARRY
Who?
BARMAN
My wife.
Harry seems to try to go on with his story —
HARRY
— Aeroplanes flew over. There were connections between the control-tower and the ground —
The Barman interrupts —
BARMAN
I’ve got this daughter, see, aged fifteen. They have her out in front of class. She wears a belt, black stockings, and something loose round the top —
HARRY
She lay in her pram —
BARMAN
Children see by what they learn —
HARRY
What did she learn —
BARMAN
The sun doesn’t get filtered —
HARRY
— At this high altitude?
They wait.
After a time the Barman goes to Harry and swats him on the shoulder as if there were an insect there. Then he mimes picking off the insect and dropping it on to the ground.
The glass door opens, right, and a girl comes in. She is dressed in the uniform of an air hostess. She carries a folder with papers. She comes to the centre of the stage and stands there looking through her papers.
The Barman watches Harry.
Harry has turned to the Hostess.
After a time he says as if he is trying not to act —
HARRY
I’m looking for my wife —
HOSTESS
Oh, do you know what plane she’s on?
Harry puts his hands to his head. He gets up and walks round the stage as if in despair. After a time he calls —
HARRY
No!
The Hostess acts as if she is near to tears.
HOSTESS
— Then I’m afraid I can’t help you —
Harry comes and takes her papers out of her hand and leafs through them.
The Barman turns to the audience. He acts as if he were ad-libbing —
BARMAN
The Lord of the Manor could have any girl he wanted on his wedding night. On his wedding night he wanted this girl. The problem was to get her into the manor past his wife —
Harry jabs a finger at the papers he is holding.
HARRY
After —
HOSTESS
What —
HARRY
— Because I don’t love you —
The Hostess takes her papers back. She looks through them.
BARMAN
— There were two staircases, or spirals, the one going up, the other down. They were joined, but they never met. Occasionally there were windows —
He looks up to the back of the auditorium. He waves —
Coo-ee!
Harry is watching the Hostess.
HOSTESS
When they come in?
Harry says as if quoting —
HARRY
— Don’t I know you —
The Barman speaks as if to the audience —
BARMAN
But if they separated, they died —
Harry turns away from the Hostess. He seems to finish the Barman’s line.
HARRY
— Or immediately formed another attachment.
The Hostess goes out through the gothic door, left.
Harry goes and sits on a stool at the bar.
After a time the Barman, facing the audience, calls —
BARMAN
How’re you doing?
HARRY
All right.
BARMAN
Wife and kids?
HARRY
All right.
The Barman goes back to the bar. He puts away the bottles and glasses.
BARMAN
— You’ve got to live —
HARRY
Where is the necessity.
The Barman goes to the food lift on the left of the bar and opens the hatch and shouts down in a mock upper-class voice —
BARMAN
Will you come up here a moment please?
He listens; then shouts —
And bring your tennis things —
He closes the hatch. He turns to Harry.
The smell down there! Honestly!
He tidies the glasses and bottles at the bar.
I read a book the other day. There was this headmaster, see, aged fifteen. He had them out in front of class. He’d been given carte-blanche by the parents —
The gothic door opens, left, and the Char comes in. She is a good-looking woman in her sixties. She wears a fur. She speaks with an upper-class accent.
CHAR
Did you hear that bang?
BARMAN
Yes I thought it was one of me legs coming apart.
CHAR
How is the poor little thing?
BARMAN
Its breathing.
The Char glances at the audience. Then she comes to the bar and sits on a stool by Harry. The Barman faces her across the counter.
BARMAN
Sign here, please. In blood. You know the symbols? Dip the pen in the inkwell —
He acts ghostly laughter.
Then he looks down at the counter.
There’s one stipulation. You must bring her home before morning.
HARRY
Why?
CHAR
I’ve lost my keys.
HARRY
You want to sleep at my place?
They wait.
After a time the Barman comes round to the front of the bar. He acts —
BARMAN
The riders are over their handlebars!
Their arses are up around their ears.
Catastrophe Practice Page 9
