“I think you would have known,” Abel said firmly, catching the drift of the conversation and not liking the direction it was going in any more than I did.
“Oh, but Bax, you didn’t know until just now, right? Or, did you keep it hidden from Patrick all those years? Maybe I’m doing something I don’t know about.” Hints of desperation colored his tone and I felt sorry for him. I was sure he’d mated well—how could he not, looking like he did? But mating well in Buffalo Gap was a whole different creature than mating well in Mercy Hills. Or just about anywhere else.
I turned to Abel and stood on my toes to kiss his cheek. “Why don’t you go drink with the alphas while Usher and I visit? This is going to get boring for you.” I stared intently at him, to let him know I’d fill him in later if there was anything he needed to know.
Abel smiled at me and nodded to Usher. “That sounds like a good idea. Where will you be, if anyone asks?”
I glanced at Usher, who shrugged. “Out front,” I said. “Not far.”
Abel kissed me quickly and sent us on our way.
I took Usher’s hand. “Come on, we can sneak around the side here and no one will notice, hopefully.” The space between the guest house and Uncle Mitchel’s was so narrow hardly anyone other than pups ever used it, so we could likely sneak out through there.
“So you’re going to tell me your secret?” Usher asked as soon as we were out of earshot.
I stopped us under a tree across the street from the guest house. “Oh, Usher, there is no secret. I was pregnant pretty much from the beginning, literally six months pregnant, then six months nursing, then six months pregnant again. If there’s some way to stop the spring heats, I don’t know it.” We sat down a big rock in front of the house, the top worn smooth by the friction of many bums coming in contact with it. “I was as surprised as anyone. I thought it was cancer at first, until Abel said I smelled like another omega who had spring heats. I’d never noticed it—our family has always scented differently.”
“Do I scent differently?” he asked hopefully.
Did he? Could I tell? I tried to think of what Bram smelled like, and what Jason smelled like, and what the other omegas in Buffalo Gap had smelled like. With that in mind, I bent in toward Usher’s neck, drawing in a deep breath through my mouth to take advantage of the tiny organ in the roof of my mouth that made smells so much brighter. Then I tried his underarm, but I couldn’t really decide. He did smell a bit like Jason, and a bit like Bram. “I don’t know,” I finally had to admit. “Your scent reminds me of Bram, who isn’t what I am”—I was still nervous of saying the words True Omega—“But there’s a little bit that’s like Jason. How long have you been having heats?”
“Since right after you left.” He sounded defeated.
“Oh.” There wasn’t much to say about that. “At least you mated, right?”
“Yeah.” He sighed and looked across the street at the party. “Boris.”
Boris was a jack-of-all-trades who was talented enough that he could get work outside walls, in Abilene. It was a good mating. “Wow. No wonder you can afford nice clothes.”
“Yeah,” he said again and looked down at his hands. “He’s okay. There wasn’t much to choose from and when he came to talk to Da about me, I thought having a mate who was well off would make up for it, even if I didn’t much care for him. But it doesn’t. I’m just a trophy.”
I put an arm around his shoulders and squeezed. “I know what you mean.”
He sat there silently for a moment, then stood, shaking my arm off. “Let’s go back to the party,” he said gaily, though the false note in it made me wince, and he dragged me to my feet. “Maybe we can get up a dance.”
They did, but I didn’t dance. Abel was off talking to Uncle Mitchel, his expression serious, and after my conversation with Usher, my mood had gone from cheery to unsettled. I watched with growing concern while Usher flirted with everything alpha, ignoring his mate, who didn’t seem to care. Usher didn’t seem to care, either, his behavior growing more and more reckless with every drink he downed.
That could have been me, if Patrick had been less controlling. Certainly I would have welcomed the temporary oblivion of alcohol if I could have gotten away with it. At least, if I hadn’t had the pups—they’d been an anchor and a reason to live. But if I hadn’t had them? I shuddered.
Usher disappeared into the crowd and I watched the party for another few moments, until my mother sat down beside me. “Are you all right, sweetheart?”
I shook my head and put down my glass of juice. “I think I’ll go to bed. All this travel…” I got to my feet. “If you see Abel, will you tell him where I’m gone?”
“Of course. Sleep well, Bax. I’ll see you in the morning?”
“Come for breakfast, so we can plan our day.”
“All right, I’ll do that.” She squeezed my hand and smiled.
Before I left, I looked around for Usher again, thinking maybe we should talk more, but there was no sign of him. Except, when I went to go around the house, through that narrow, practically unused gap because the back door and kitchen were packed with shifters and I was suddenly in no mood for company, I ran into him. Or almost. Him, and the person he was with.
Usher was spreadeagled against the side of Uncle Mitchel’s house. I could barely see him for the shape of the man behind him, driving into him over and over as they fucked. I couldn’t see who it was, but I assumed it was Usher’s mate. It was bad manners for Boris to take him here out in the open, where Uncle Mitchel could come along at any moment, and for a moment I thought I understood Usher’s unhappiness. Then Usher made a convulsive movement and the man said, “Hold the fuck still!”
I knew that voice.
“Oh, Uncle Mitchel,” I whispered. Is this what his sterile mating had driven Usher to? Or had Usher even had a choice? What was my uncle thinking, to infringe so far on a packmember’s mate?
Quickly, I backed out of the gap and made my blind way back into the house, pushing rudely through the crowd until I could get to the stairs and finally up to the privacy of our temporary bedroom. Except even that wasn’t safe, because one of the windows opened onto that gap, and I could hear them—the slap of flesh, grunts, and a low whine that I took to be Usher’s. I went, instead, to the pups’ room, and sat on the edge of the bed, stroking Noah’s curls over and over and wondering if Usher’s fate would be his. A loveless mating, and no purpose in life except the pleasure of others. I put a hand on my belly. Would that be the fate of this one? Or of my girls? The only one I knew was safe was Fan, and the tears began to roll down my face.
A few minutes later, the door to the bedroom opened. “Bax?” It was Abel.
“I’m here. I was just tired.”
“Yeah?” He came over and sat behind me, his warmth a comfort to me while I tried to stop my world from spinning. “Anything else? Something with Usher?”
He knew me so well. I turned and practically threw myself in his arms. “He’s drinking, and sleeping with Uncle Mitchel even though he’s mated. He’s so unhappy, he doesn’t like his mate and I don’t understand why he’d doing it, because he can’t get any pleasure from it and, oh, Abel, I don’t want that life for Noah, or for this one or for the girls—” I choked on a sob and clung to him.
“Shh, shh, like I’d let that happen. Or you would.” His hands rubbed soothingly over my back, but it did nothing to ease my distress.
“Promise me!” I demanded, my voice rising. I took a deep breath and forced myself to calm down. “Please,” I added more quietly.
“I promise, if it will make you happy, but you know me better than that.”
I did. “I’m sorry, you’re right. I just…panicked.”
He rubbed his cheek against the top of my head. “You are the fiercest shifter ever where your pups are concerned. I’d bet on you against anyone when it comes to them.” I gave a watery chuckle and he laughed. “Come on, let’s go somewhere else so we don’t wake the pups.”
“Okay,” I said, and now I really was tired. But before he could lead me out of the room, I stopped and looked back. Noah seemed so peaceful, sleeping in the bed. I ducked out of Abel’s embrace and went back to pick him up.
“No, I don’t mind,” Abel said, reading the words in my mind as I stared at him from beside the bed. “At least he doesn’t kick like Beatrice does.”
Abel was always so good at making me laugh. He held Noah while I pulled on a loose t-shirt and pajama pants and pulled back the covers of the bed. I gave him a hard hug before he left us tucked securely into bed, and he kissed me in return.
“I’m not giving any of you up. Believe that,” he told me before he crept quietly out of the room, closing the door behind him.
I snuggled down with Noah, the ghost of Abel’s kiss still warm on my lips, and drifted slowly off to sleep.
CHAPTER EIGHTY
The next morning, I woke up with Abel at my back, and Noah cuddled into my front. Abel’s arm was draped around both myself and Noah, his hand on Noah’s belly as if he were a shield. I wanted to stay in bed a little longer, but the baby in my belly woke up and stretched, and if I stayed in my warm, cozy nest, it was going to end up being a warm, wet nest.
Delicately, I began prying myself out from between Abel and Noah.
Abel grunted and his arm tightened around my waist. “You getting up?”
“Just for a minute. The baby insists on the bathroom.”
He chuckled sleepily and let me go.
On the way back from the bathroom, I decided to check on the pups. It was past seven, and normally Fan would already be up, but I hadn’t heard anything from him at all.
When I peeked in, Beatrice was the only pup left in the bed, still soundly sleeping.
Now, where are you two? I went down the stairs, careful on the slanted step three from the bottom, and followed the chatter of puppy voices into the kitchen.
Fan and Beatrice were perched on chairs at a low table in the corner, eating cereal. My mother was at the stove, and the smell and sizzle of sausages suddenly filled the air.
She looked over her shoulder. “You’re up early.”
“I had to pee,” I told her, and decided maybe I’d stay up. I was awake now anyway.
I opened my mouth to say something, I don’t remember what, when Uncle Mitchel came in through the back door. Something in his expression stopped me from asking what he was here for and instead, I asked, “Do I need to get Abel?”
He nodded. “I need to talk to both of you.”
My heart sped up and I hurried up the stairs. “Abel,” I whispered, and shook his shoulder. “Uncle Mitchel is downstairs and he needs to talk to us. Both of us.”
Abel was awake in an instant, and it only took a couple of minutes before we were both dressed and back down in the kitchen. Mam looked horrible, like she’d heard the worst news ever, and she wouldn’t meet my eyes. I looked around for the pups, then relaxed when I heard them playing outside the back door.
I grabbed for Abel’s arm, and he patted my hand. “Just let them try and take you from me.”
“Or Jason,” I whispered, and sank down onto the chair he led me to.
Abel sat next to me, but he kept one of my hands in his. “So, he took it to Council?”
Uncle Mitchel nodded. “He’s going to try to get everyone worked up against you. You’ll have to move fast. They’re calling for it in mid-October, just before full moon.”
Just before full moon. Without thinking, I blurted out, “So that whoever they give Jason to can get a pup on him right away.”
Uncle Mitchel looked at me in surprise. “Yes, that’s exactly what I suspect.” He continued to look at me like I was a chair that had suddenly sat up and complained about being sat on.
“Jason tends to early heats,” I said, and turned to Abel. “We need to send Mac home, now.” Then I blushed, because you didn’t discuss heats in public.
Abel squeezed my hand. “It’s only September. And mid-October is still too early, if I remember correctly.” Abel didn’t blush, and suddenly I remembered that Jason had come to Mercy Hills intending to mate Abel. It was a strange feeling.
“We should go home.” We’d planned to spend another couple of days, but now there was no time.
Uncle Mitchel shook his head. “This brings me to the other piece of news. You can’t go today. Usher killed himself last night.”
I went still, in frozen shock. “What…Why?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. He had everything an omega could ask for—good mate, plenty of money, no real responsibilities. It’s hard to say.”
Except he hadn’t had everything an omega could ask for.
“Oh,” I whispered, and covered my mouth with my hands before any untoward accusations could launch themselves into the open. Abel put his arm around my shoulders and held me while I shook with so many emotions I couldn’t tell the terror from the fury or the guilt.
Uncle Mitchel spoke again. “They’re laying him out at Boris’ house.”
I took a couple of harsh, noisy breaths through my nose, then lowered my hand. “I should go help.” I nearly choked on the words. This was my fault, at least partly. If I’d recognized the signs… Looking back, I could see his discontent clearly, and his desperate flirting and drinking took on new meaning. I staggered to my feet. “I’ll ask Mam to look after the pups,” I told Abel.
He stood and kept me from running off. “This wasn’t your fault.”
He blurred in front of me until I blinked the tears away. “I should have known something was wrong, from the way he was acting. No omega is like that, not unless they’re miserable.”
“Now, Bax,” my uncle said. “Usher was just as wild as you were, he just didn’t have a mate that would put any limits on him like you did. If he’d had someone who was a little stricter with him, he might not have had these problems.”
Abel caught me before I could throw the punch I started, which was just as well. I’m not sure how I’d tolerate being beaten now, after living these months in Mercy Hills. I let him hustle me out into the hallway and up the stairs and by the time we’d reached the top, I’d calmed down enough to realize I was going to have to make amends. “I’m sorry,” I told him, and really meant it. “I’ll go apologize.”
“I’ll handle it.” He cradled me against his chest, and I let the steady beat of his heart beneath my ear calm me some more. When most of the tightness had left my body, he rubbed his hands over my back and put me from him. “Are you sure you want to go over there?”
“I think I owe it to him. If I’d been paying more attention—”
“You couldn’t have known. You’d been here three hours. If no one else in the pack saw it coming, how could you?” He shook me gently, not in anger, but maybe in frustration with me. “Don’t beat yourself up over missing something an entire pack missed.”
I nodded sadly. “I want…” What did I want? I shook my head and kissed him quickly. “I might be a while.”
“Do what you need to,” he said, stroking my hair. “We’ll be here waiting when you get back. Do you want to give an offering?”
I nodded.
“I’ll look after that, then.” He hugged me again, then turned us back toward the stairs. “You go out the front while I run interference with your uncle. Just, promise me you won’t try to punch anyone else?”
“I promise.” I gave him a smile, weak, but the best I could come up with at the moment. “Don’t forget about Noah in our bed, okay?”
“I won’t.” He put and arm around my shoulders, and we went back down the stairs together.
CHAPTER EIGHTY-ONE
Mam came with me as we walked across the town to what used to be Usher’s home. We met other packmembers on our way, and joined them inside the house. It was crowded, except for the smaller bedroom, where Usher had been laid out on a spare tarp to be washed and dressed.
I stopped in the doorway to look at him, feeling oddly numb and, at the
same time, enraged that this could happen.
“Bax,” someone said behind me. I turned to find Usher’s mother holding a small plastic tub full of water. “I’m glad to see you.”
“Ma’am,” I said and reached to take the tub from her. “I’d like to help, if that’s not going to step on any toes.”
“No, it won’t.” She smiled tiredly and let me take the water. “He always looked up to you, even when he was jealous. It’s kind of you to come do this last thing for him.”
“I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t.” I set the basin on the rickety table at the head of the bed. Usher was still wearing his clothes from last night, though they were stained where the blood had flowed from his wrists. I’d heard on the way over that they found him in the back yard, in the corner where they’d buried the ashes of his still born pup that spring. I hadn’t known that, and it made my heart ache again for him.
I reached out to smooth the dark hair away from his face. “Oh, sweetheart, why didn’t you ask for help?” Except I knew why, and I wished I’d had more time, to let him know that even if the pack didn’t see him, I did. With a sigh, I began to unbutton the fine, store-bought shirt, peeling it out of the dried blood at his waist. His mother and his sisters worked at the rest of his clothes, and then we washed him, carefully, respectfully, and dressed him again in his best clothes, and a set of fine leather boots that looked hardly worn. His mother combed his hair and arranged it around his face, and his sisters brought wildflowers to place in his hands. I ended up doing the actual arranging of the flowers, as the girls couldn’t bear to look at Usher’s poor abused wrists.
Finally, we had him as beautiful as we could manage, the long cuts hidden against his stomach and behind the bright petals of the flowers, and we left his mother to keep watch over him until the pack came to carry him to the burning place. I went back to the guest house to play with the pups for the afternoon, but found that Mac had them out hunting lizards again. Truthfully, I was grateful for that, because my emotions were still rubbed raw.
Abel's Omega(Gay Paranomal MM Mpreg Romance) (Mercy Hills Pack Book 2) Page 37
