Guardian (The Guardian Series Book 1)

by A. J. Messenger

  I stand stock still, aghast, at Avestan’s revelations as he directs his hand to me. I feel the charge he releases before I see it. It knocks me onto my side, a black orb of pain holding me down, in agony. Alexander looks on in horror. He rushes Avestan with such fury I’m surprised the force doesn’t rend them in two. Avestan pulls the orb from me and trains it on Alexander, knocking him down and pinning him to the ground.

  “How does it feel, Alexander the perfect? No one would choose you now, writhing at my feet like a pathetic little worm, would they?” As Avestan gloats his face morphs into a grotesque, demonic mask.

  “You’re killing him!” Despite my terror I run at Avestan in a blind panic but he releases a ball of energy that knocks me off my feet and pins me to the ground. My thoughts are a frenzied jumble. Alexander is in agony, dying on the sand in front of me and there’s nothing I can do. The horror is unspeakable and none of it would be happening if he hadn’t come here. For me. I want to close my eyes to shut out the pain and surrender, but I can’t let him suffer alone.

  “Alexander!” I cry. He’s contorted in pain and avoiding my eyes. “Look at me, please,” I beseech. Slowly, he meets my eyes and the look of torment on his face pierces my heart, but I don’t look away. I hold his gaze and all the love I feel for him consumes me. It builds from the deepest part of my soul and radiates out with a force I didn’t know I had left. I imagine the white ball of light in the center of my body burning brighter than ever before, and growing and multiplying infinitely. My whole being is thrumming with energy so powerful I can’t contain it. I feel as if I’m levitating on beams of light. As we hold each other’s eyes, I can feel that he’s returning that love, a thousandfold, as he prepares to die.

  “Don’t go Alexander. Please!” My voice is so raw and deep I don’t identify it as my own. I reach out and an enormous blast of light, containing every ounce of life left in my body, rockets from me with colossal force. Like a white hot star, it hits Avestan with fiery velocity and knocks him off his feet.

  He stares at me, stunned, his face momentarily back to human form again, before he stands with steely determination and redirects the black orb away from Alexander and back to me, with greater force this time. I collapse on the sand with nothing left to put up resistance.

  I know this is the end. With Avestan’s blackness burning into me, I feel the small thread connecting me to life beginning to stretch and snap. I slowly start to let go and I imagine flying over the ocean with Alexander in pure bliss again. With great effort, I manage to open my eyes and search for Alexander for one last look before I surrender completely and enter the dark abyss. Perhaps if I last long enough I can provide the reprieve Alexander needs to save himself.

  Alexander lies still on the ground, showing no signs of resistance. When his eyes meet mine, the love I feel is overwhelming. The delicate string of light that connects our hearts begins to glow and widen into a beam of pure energy pulsing between us. Alexander stand ups slowly and calls out to me in a voice too weak to understand. Energy builds and shimmers all around him as he gathers strength and speaks again, louder this time. “I’ll always protect you, Declan.”

  He raises his hand and I can see the burning resolve in his eyes as he slowly trains his focus on Avestan’s rippling, demonic visage. A fiery supernova of radiant, blinding light extends out all around Alexander in a white hot flash and then explodes with pinpoint accuracy on Avestan, holding him frozen. The light shimmers between them, vibrating, and I sense the strength, purity, and boundlessness of Alexander’s life force. The light grows brighter and hotter, expanding all around us, until it consumes everything in its path, leaving no room for darkness. Avestan falls and lays stricken, motionless—empty.

  Alexander stares at Avestan on the ground for a long moment with sadness in his eyes. He kneels to whisper something in his ear.

  The last thing I remember is Alexander lifting me into his arms and tearing a passage through Nusquam. He steps out, holding me, into the world we left behind.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  I awaken on the beach. Only now I can hear the waves and see welcome shades of blue in the sky. I look all around. The portal is gone and Avestan is nowhere to be seen.

  Alexander lies beside me. I call to him but he isn’t moving.

  I lift his head onto my lap, calling out his name as I try to revive him. Panicked, I bend down low to his face and check for breathing. Long, desperate seconds pass until I detect a faint breath and a slight rise in his chest. “Alexander,” I cry. “Please, Alexander. You did it. You saved me. Wake up,” I repeat, whispering over and over as I cradle him in my arms and weep.

  His eyelids slowly drift open and relief floods over me as he looks into my eyes. “You’re okay,” he says weakly, attempting a smile.

  “You saved me.”

  “You knocked Avestan down. Mortals can’t do that,” he murmurs.

  “All I cared about was saving you.”

  “About that …” he replies softly, leaving the rest unsaid.

  “You’re going to be all right,” I insist, emotion ravaging my throat.

  He doesn’t answer.

  “But you can heal yourself,” I cry, “I’ve seen you.”

  “Not this time,” he utters weakly, his voice barely a whisper.

  “But you said energy never dies,” I plead.

  “Part of me will continue on, but not in this form,” he admits solemnly. “Declan, I don’t have much time and I need to say something.” He pauses as he takes a breath. “I love you. I love you as I’ve never loved anyone before and I’ll always love you—for endless time and eons beyond. You are light and beauty in the ways that matter and you always amaze, Miss Jane.” He smiles. “Your heart is pure. I’m looking at your aura right now and it’s breathtaking. It’s your true and honest self, and you’re breathtaking. Please know that. You’re so hard on yourself, and I hear you put yourself down. I know you think I love you in spite of all the things you think are wrong. But what you don’t understand is that I love you because of them. You have no idea how beautiful you are. How strong you are. And how much light you add to the world. I’ll always take that with me.”

  “Please, Alexander,” I implore with a sob. “Please don’t go. I love you. I’ll always love you. Please don’t go … you can’t go.” My heart breaks within me. This can’t be. It can’t.

  If he hears me, there’s no sign.

  His eyes close and I feel the light between us fade away as he takes his last breath and is gone.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Grief pours out of me in heaving sobs. I hold Alexander, cradling his head in my lap and rocking back and forth in a gulf of anguish I don’t think I’ll ever escape.

  “No, no, no. Please, no,” I plead, over and over.

  I thought I knew the pain of losing someone I love, but this—this time it’s because of me. It’s my fault. The searing anguish in my heart drives me to beg that I be taken too. Instead. Please let it be me. Not him. Please, not him.

  I rock until my tears run dry and then I keep rocking, the movement becoming smaller and smaller until eventually I hold still. Eyes inflamed, I stare at Alexander’s face for a long time in heart-aching denial.

  Slowly, I lean down to kiss him. For the first and last time. Lips slick with tears, my mouth meets his and the love I feel for Alexander envelops us both in warm, white light. I press my lips to his and hold still and the purity flowing from my heart spills over us in waves. In a dream, Alexander’s lips part against mine, softly at first, returning my tenderness and yearning, and slowly building to heated passion. His hands rise up to embrace me, knotting his fingers in my hair, holding me to him as if he’ll never let go. We’re drowning in each other, the hunger between us raw and impossible to resist.

  This can’t be a dream. The intensity is too real.

  I pull away and Alexander is gazing back at me, incredulous.

  “Is this really happening?” I whisper.

 
“I think so,” he says softly, equally mystified.

  I touch his face, shoulders, arms—everywhere—with my hands and then pinch myself to make sure. “I thought you were gone,” I sob, “I thought you were gone.” I repeat it over and over as fresh tears of happiness pour over the salty remnants of grief.

  Worry plays across Alexander’s face.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask. I feel as though nothing can ever be wrong again. Alexander is alive.

  “How did you bring me back?”

  “I don’t know,” I say, still smiling. “You’re here, Alexander! What does it matter?”

  “It matters because there will be consequences. Restoring a guardian is beyond the power of mortals. And unless I dreamed it, we just kissed. That means I’ve broken my vow and your life is in danger.” His face is grim and anxious.

  “But I think the kiss is what brought you back. How can that be anything other than good? I’m still here,” I say as I pat myself all over to show I’m still in one piece. “See? I’m okay. And from what I was feeling during that kiss, you’re more than okay.”

  The corners of his mouth turn up a little, revealing a flash of the Alexander I’m used to, but his expression quickly reverts to apprehension.

  “I don’t know how I healed you,” I say quickly, before he can protest again, “but I do know that it came from love, and how can that be bad?”

  I search his eyes for a sign that he agrees with any part of what I’ve said but all I see is deeply troubled worry. “I love you, Alexander,” I say softly, my eyes glistening with tears.

  “I love you, too, Declan.” He releases a heartfelt sigh. “That’s the problem …what have we done?”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “You should never have gone to Nusquam,” scolds Edwin as he paces back and forth across the floor.

  Alexander, Edwin, and I are in their house discussing what happened. Edwin embraced us both mightily when we first got home and told him our story. Now, however, his relief has turned to alarm as he attempts to sort out what it means. Suffice it to say he isn’t happy.

  “I say that to both of you,” Edwin admonishes us sternly. “How could you agree to go with Avestan? And Alexander, you know Guardians are forbidden to enter that realm. Going there was a grave mistake. Very grave.”

  I want to protest and tell Edwin that I had no choice, Avestan was holding Charlie, but we’ve already been over this many times and I know he’s still working it through in his mind and I should just stay silent. Alexander, sitting beside me, is also quiet. He nods at me in approval and squeezes my hand.

  “I understand about Charlie. That should never have happened and you can be sure nothing like it ever will again.” The sternness in Edwin’s voice is clear as he emphasizes each word. “But while you two were off in a place neither one of you should have entered, we’ve been here having the fight of our lives. We could have used you, Alexander.”

  Alexander nods solemnly.

  “You’re sure it was Declan that knocked Avestan over?” Edwin asks again. He keeps coming back to this question over and over.

  “Yes. My strength was down before I entered and the crossover made it worse. Avestan’s energy was far superior. I didn’t have it in me.”

  I turn to look at Alexander. It’s the first time he has admitted how weakened he was. My heart aches with the danger I placed him in.

  “I remember looking into your eyes before I knocked him down,” I say. “I felt your energy making me stronger. I think you had more to do with it than you realize.”

  Alexander shakes his head. “She did it, Edwin. I don’t know how, but she sent out a burst that knocked him down. When our energy connected it revived me and when I saw Avestan killing her I released everything in a pure state. I managed to carry her out but I was drained. Completely.”

  “And you transitioned after you crossed over?” Edwin asks again.

  “Yes,” replies Alexander.

  “You weren’t just weakened?” Edwin persists.

  “No,” answers Alexander. “It was more than that. I was gone.”

  “And that’s when you kissed?” Edwin directs the question at me.

  I nod. “I thought he was dead. I just wanted to kiss him—just once.” My voice holds a mixture of yearning and apology and Alexander squeezes my hand and looks at me tenderly.

  “You kissed him? He didn’t kiss you?” Edwin asks.

  “Yes,” I answer.

  “Well, it started that way,” Alexander cuts in, “but that’s not how it ended.” His tone is serious but he can’t resist flashing me a sidelong glance that makes me blush.

  Edwin is not amused. His brow furrows as he stops pacing and stands silent for several minutes. He starts to pace again and then stops and emits a small sound. Before anything intelligible can emerge he snaps his mouth shut and resumes pacing. After a few more minutes he stops, mutters to himself, and then, finally, he speaks.

  “There’s only one explanation.”

  I stare at Edwin anxiously.

  He pauses, clearly hesitant to give voice to his thoughts. At last, he relents.

  “Declan, you’re not a mortal.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  My eyes flick from Edwin to Alexander and back again, stupefied. “What?”

  “No mortal can do what you’ve done,” says Edwin, “but you’re no guardian, either. You haven’t been realized and there’s no other way to become a guardian. That, I know.” He states the last part as if he’s reassuring himself that the universe hasn’t turned completely upside down.

  I wait for him to answer the obvious question that hangs like an anvil in the air around us but instead of speaking he takes one green apple and one red apple from the bowl on the table and places them a few inches apart on the counter. He’s going to eat at a time like this?

  “Watch,” he says as he regards me shrewdly.

  He grabs both apples, lightning fast.

  “Which apple did I grab first?” he asks.

  I look at Alexander with confusion. It’s obvious he grabbed the red one first. Is this some weird Jedi mind game or a trick question? “The red one,” I answer.

  Edwin nods his head. “To a mortal it would have looked simultaneous.”

  “Give me your hand,” orders Edwin before I can respond.

  I hold out my hand and he pulls a knife from the kitchen drawer beside him.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I say, yanking my hand back with alarm. “What are you doing?”

  “I need your blood. As a final test.”

  My facial expression is more than a little wary.

  “I need some of yours, too,” he says, nodding his head to Alexander. “Why don’t you go first.”

  Alexander looks at me and shrugs. He takes the knife and slices his finger, dripping blood onto the plate Edwin holds out for this purpose. Immediately, his finger heals as if the wound was never there.

  “Your turn,” says Alexander, shifting to face me. “I promise I’ll make it as painless as possible.”

  I hold out my hand and wince as he slices the tip of my index finger and drips blood onto the other side of the plate. When he’s finished he holds my finger between his hands and as he draws them away I’m amazed to see that the cut on my finger has vanished. “All better,” he says with a smile as he hands the plate back to Edwin.

  As we watch, Edwin tilts the plate, causing Alexander’s blood to run into mine. When the two pools combine, I gasp. The mixture turns iridescent and glows with a brilliance that takes my breath away.

  Edwin regards me with renewed certainty. “It’s been staring me in the face since the day Alexander told me about your aura. The purity of your spirit, your empathic qualities, your ability to harness energy … and the power you displayed today. It can only be one thing.”

  I swallow nervously as I wait for him to spit it out.

  “You’re a sprite.”

  I turn to look at Alexander, but he’s as speechless as I am.r />
  “I heard ancient guardians speak of sprites but I thought they were only a myth,” continues Edwin. “I’ve never come across one in all my lifetimes. I had to do the test to be sure.”

  “What, exactly, is a sprite?” I ask hesitantly.

  “A being in between mortal and guardian—an angel’s apprentice, if you will. It’s a good thing, Declan,” he says as he puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder, “A very good thing, indeed. In fact, it changes everything.”

  “How?” Alexander asks.

  “You aren’t a fallen guardian, for one,” Edwin says, clearly relieved. “Your weakness came from resisting, not from being drawn to a mortal. That explains why it took so long to be affected. You didn’t break your vow.”

  It takes a full minute for the implications of what Edwin just said to sink in.

  “Are you saying Declan and I can be together?” asks Alexander, confirming.

  Edwin nods with a smile.

  Alexander and I both turn to each other at the same time and whisper, “Loophole,” in unison, making us laugh.

  “I should have known you’d find one,” Alexander says. “You couldn’t resist me much longer.”