Drive Me Wilde (Breathless Book 6)

by Shani Greene-Dowdell

  Cody ran off, seemingly happy. I wanted to keep it that way. Once he was gone, I turned back to the TV and turned it back on. I was again greeted by the horrible view of the couple having sex, wondering if I could at least count on this being an ex-boyfriend of hers. But then as they finished the climax and she collapsed on top of him, the scene changed. This time, there were only pictures. Half-naked pictures were displayed on the screen. Tasha smiled proudly as she posed for these pictures.

  My heart fell. Not only did she have a sex video made, but she was now posing for near nude shots. Did she do it for the money? If she needed money, I could halfway understand that, but still why stoop so low as to pimp herself out?

  I couldn’t even watch the whole thing as more and more of her body was exposed. No decent woman should have these views of her being sent through the mail. I turned the TV off and went over, nearly yanking the DVD from the player. I put it away, leaving the letter on the outside. I didn’t know who the letter was from, but it was obviously from someone that hated Tasha so much, and the thought hit me. Only Melinda had that much vengeance towards her, as to direct it at me, at least so I figured.

  I fell down on the couch and just sat there, dumbfounded by the revelation. I don’t know how long I sat there for, but when I heard her voice, I didn’t even realize she had gotten to the house.

  “Hey there!” She giggled.

  I was still staring at the blank TV screen.

  “I knocked, but you didn’t come, so I let myself in. I hope that’s alright.”

  I slowly turned to her. I had been practicing the words I would say to her in my head since I watched the DVD. I knew that what I needed to do was let her know how I felt, and then tell her that we needed to slow things down drastically, until I got to know her better. But as I looked at her, I couldn’t even get those words out of my mouth.

  She frowned. “Matt, is everything alright, babe?”

  “Um…well, not exactly,” I started. I stood from the couch and walked over to her. I looked past her and peered up the steps, making certain that Cody couldn’t hear us, then grabbed her hand and pulled her further into the living room. “I need to talk to you.”

  “You’re scaring me,” she softly said, then a nervous chuckle accompanied her words. “What’s going on?”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. “That’s what I’m wondering,” I said. I held up the DVD. “This came in my mail today. Care to explain what I saw?” I kept my voice low, so it wouldn’t trigger Cody to come downstairs.

  Her eyes narrowed in on the DVD. “Well, first of all, what’s the DVD of?” She looked at me, confusion etched on her face.

  The scene came back to my mind, and I shook my head, wanting to erase it forever. “It’s of you and um…some guy,” I hissed. “Then half naked photos of you.” I thrust the disc towards her. My anger boiling over, unable to think straight. Her eyes widened as she grabbed the disc from me.

  “I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”

  I took a deep breath and wanted nothing more but to stay calm and cool about it, because this was the woman I loved, and I wanted to trust her and believe anything she had to tell me. However, my eyes were clouded over with deceit, and I really couldn’t picture her telling me anything that would make this okay.

  “I got this note.” I opened it up and held it open to her. She read through it and her eyes went dim. The brightness I saw when I looked at her before, was gone. “Matt…I can explain,” she said.

  I shoved the paper into her hand and shook my head. “I doubt you can, but give it your best shot.” I moved past her. I was prepared to open the door, kick her out, and never look back, even if my heart was breaking with even that thought.

  “Matt, listen,” she slowly stated. “It’s not as bad as it looks.”

  I slowly turned around and moved back in to close the distance between us. “Are you sure about that? It looks pretty damn bad, and let’s talk about humiliating. If it got out that my girlfriend made a sex tape and posed nude…”

  “I wasn’t nude,” she quietly stated.

  “Oh…I stand corrected. HALF nude! You know, I can’t be a hard nose attorney, when I can’t even handle a relationship. If that DVD got out, then I would be the laughing stock of the city. No one would want to have me represent them. My career could be finished. I guess you’d finally be the topic of all the popular blogs then,” I said the latter before wishing I could suck the words back into my lips and swallow them down to the deepest and darkest places of me that I never wanted the world to see.

  “They won’t find out,” she said, and her chest began to heave up and down. I could see the pain in her pleading eyes. She searched me out for the compassionate, understanding guy that she’d grown to love, but I could only see red.

  “Oh yeah…how do you plan on stopping them, when it ended up in my mailbox?” I continued.

  “Matt, that video was shot a long time ago, so even if someone does leak it to the blogs, it’s from when I was younger,” she said. “I was just getting into the business and—”

  I shook my head and put up my hand to stop her. “I don’t want to hear about it. I mean it, Tasha. There’s nothing you could say that would make this better.” Tears had started to form in the corner of her eyes and I wasn’t a monster; I hated seeing her like that, but the situation really gave me no choice. I looked away from her. “I think you should go,” I said.

  Out the corner of my eye, I saw her nodding. “Yeah, I really should. I never thought you would be such a judgmental asshole!”

  “Oh yeah, well, I guess that makes two of us who’ve been duped.” I turned away from her and led her out of the living room, feeling like I was walking in quicksand that was only pulling me down. I was getting emotional, as well, but I couldn’t let her see the pain I felt at that very moment. I internally damned Melinda Lory for being the evil witch of the south who I was certain was behind dropping this bomb in the middle of the damn near perfectness that had become Tasha and I.

  We had just reached the door, when I heard Cody’s footsteps on the stairs. I turned around and looked up to find him bouncing down the stairs, a huge smile spread across his face.

  “Hey Tasha…did you hear that we’re going to have…” his face fell as he reached us. His eyes honed in on her and probably noted the tears in her eyes. “Is something wrong?” he asked. He looked at the door and the fact that we were heading to it. “Are you leaving?” he asked.

  Tasha smiled and looked down at him. She still had a few tears in the backs of her eyes. “Hey, little man.” She knelt in front of him, and I was forced to watch the beginning of her breakup with him.

  “You know how I love you, right?” he nodded and that’s really all I could take.

  “She wasn’t leaving, Cody. She was just grabbing something from the car, right Tasha?”

  Tasha looked at me wide eyed, as if she were silently asking what I was doing, but she nodded. “Yes, I left my phone in there.”

  “Great then. While she grabs her phone, what do you say that we go get those steaks started, Cody?” I asked.

  Cody nodded, and the grin returned to his face.

  Tasha looked up at me and she seemed confused, but so was I. I just knew I couldn’t let her leave, when Cody was looking forward to it. Yeah, that’s what I told myself. I told myself I was pleading with my eyes for her to stay because of Cody, and that I would figure out what we needed to do later. For now…I had food to prepare, and my separation from Tasha was prolonged, at least until the end of dinner.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Tasha

  Aftermath

  It was nice enjoying a good dinner with my two favorite guys, but then I had to keep reminding myself that chances were the good feeling was going to be short-lived. Matt wasn’t going to let me slide by this DVD situation, without having some consequences along with it. I didn’t know how he got the DVD. I couldn’t fathom who would stoop so low as to send it to him. Of c
ourse, it then came rushing back into me and I knew exactly what happened. I thought all the DVDs were burned, but Melinda was connected to Harper Finley. I wouldn’t put it past her contacting him and bribing or paying him for a copy.

  No, knowing Melinda, she probably had a copy all along. She was always in somebody else’s business and when Harper and my relationship blew up, she more than likely caught wind of it. She most likely preserved a copy of the DVD he’d shown several people, for her own sake. Maybe she used it when she needed a good porn, or maybe she kept it just in case she would ever need it for the type of carnage of my heart that she was causing now. Seeing me with Matt gave her motive to use it. After all, Matt just got her fired from her job, right?

  That was bound to anger her to the point where she would do anything to seek her revenge. That anything was in the form of making sure I looked bad, and there was no doubt in my mind that this made me look like a desperate, horrible woman.

  “Tasha? Tasha?”

  I had zoned everything out and didn’t even realize Cody was calling out my name. “I’m sorry bud, what’d you say?” I asked, turning to him. From my peripheral vision, I saw that Matt was staring at me and I felt like I did when we first met. It was once again awkward being there with him.

  “I was just saying that I had a great time in Atlanta. Are we going to go back?”

  He was so eager and happy, and I didn’t want to spoil anything for him. I glanced at Matt and he just slowly nodded. He would want me to say anything to Cody, just to make sure he didn’t suspect something was wrong between us and got upset. That was why I was still invited to dinner after he had walked me to the door with the look of despair in his eyes earlier. He didn’t want Cody to have to deal with that pain of loss again, and that made him a great role model for his nephew, but it also was wrong, because it gave Cody a false sense of security.

  “Of course, little man,” I played along. “I know that my family would want to see you again, too.” I smiled at him and he was beaming, but deep down I was thinking that everything I loved was slowly getting washed away and I hated we got to this point.

  As if Matt was thinking something similar, he got up from the table and started to clear away the dishes that were empty.

  “I’ll help,” I mumbled, trying to be uplifting and positive…and a bit fake because I felt neither.

  “Don’t bother! Enjoy your conversation with Cody.” Matt moved away from the table quickly.

  I took that as a slap, stating that I needed to enjoy the time I had, because this would be the end of it.

  “I was wondering when I could invite my friends over again,” Cody stated, interrupting my thoughts. “It’s been awhile and they’ve kind of been pressuring me about it.” He was getting excited, and I had to smile at it. If I knew I was going to come back, I would have promised him that we could do just that this weekend, but the truth was, I couldn’t promise him something that I couldn’t deliver.

  “Well, that does sound like fun,” I said. “We’ll see what your uncle has to say about it. We have some time to figure that all out.”

  Cody grinned. “You’re right, but last time wasn’t too bad, was it?”

  I had to think back to it. When his friends slept over last time, I was still fairly green when it came to babysitting knowledge. I had certainly come a long way, so the next time was bound to even go better. “Last time was perfect,” I said, thinking as long as Cody had fun, I was all for it.

  He grinned. “I thought so too.”

  The longer we talked, the more I felt him slipping away. Then, Matt came back to the table and looked at Cody. “You should get washed up for bed.”

  “Uncle Matt…” Cody said, groaning all the way.

  With one raise of Matt’s eyebrow, Cody stopped whining. I turned back to Cody and pulled him into a hug. “Goodnight, Cody. Sleep tight…don’t let the bed bugs bite.”

  He laughed. “Goodnight, Tasha.”

  “I love you!” I said squeezing him tighter than intended, and most likely shocking him.

  “I love you too!” When he pulled back, he looked at me, giving me a second glance, before leaving the dining room. When he disappeared, I felt that everything I ever wanted was being ripped from me.

  “I’ll be leaving,” I mumbled.

  Matt nodded and followed me to the door. “I’ll walk you out,” he said.

  That was the longest walk I’d ever taken. When we got to the car, I turned to face him. “I’m not this horrible person that you think I am. Can I just explain?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t think you’re horrible Tasha. You might have made a bad decision, but you’re not horrible.”

  “I didn’t make a bad decision…that’s just it. You’re getting one side of the story,” I argued.

  He hesitated, and I thought maybe he would allow me to at least tell him my side of the story. It seemed kind of crappy that he wasn’t giving me that chance. When he shook his head, my world crumbled.

  “I don’t think it’s necessary. One, you shouldn’t have to explain. If I can’t trust who I thought you were, then I can’t trust you.” Those words were like scalding hot water being thrown at me. I never intentionally gave reason for Matt not to trust me and if he would hear me out, I was sure I could regain that trust. “I’ve always been responsible and worked hard to stay on top. That hard work has landed me a job that’s prominent in this city. People look up to me to always do the right thing. Cody is of an age that he looks up to me for the same. He needs positive role models in his life, and what I saw on that DVD didn’t promote that for me. Sorry.”

  I fell back against the car as I felt one blow after another barreling from the mouth of a man I thought could never hit me so hard…so painfully. “I’m sorry you feel that way, and I’m sorry that this happened. If I could take back anything, then I would take back that DVD, but I would never do anything to harm Cody. If you feel that my being around him would jeopardize him, then I’ll walk away.” I felt a sob release from my throat, and I willed myself not to cry aloud. “I’m sorry, Matt. I do love you!”

  I opened the door of my car and got in, before he could have a chance to stop me. But as I backed out, I noticed something I hadn’t seen before, he wasn’t going to stop me. In Matt’s eyes, I had somehow wronged him, and I didn’t know if would ever get over the pain of seeing that in his eyes.

  I could no longer hold back those tears, and as they released, I started to uncontrollably shake. I was losing an important part of myself and that was Cody and Matt. This wasn’t going to be something I could just easily get over.

  ***

  The minute I got home, I shredded the DVD. I hoped that it was really the last one of its kind. I didn’t need to watch it, to know what was on it, but the fact remained that Matt never gave me the opportunity to explain myself and that caused me to weep.

  I spent three days wrapped up underneath my covers, just feeling sorry for myself. Every time I closed my eyes and saw Matt or Cody, I would once again find myself falling into this deep sadness.

  I received a couple calls from Dana while I was in bed, and I ignored each and every one of them, until I got the text from her.

  Dana: I know what happened with you and Matt. Please call me!

  I was so embarrassed. I thought this had all been behind me and now everything was coming to the surface again. It happened so long ago, and I didn’t want to rehash bad memories.

  Tasha: I don’t want to talk about it. Just give me space.

  After just fifteen minutes of sending the message, I got a phone call. I groaned and grabbed my phone from my nightstand. I answered it and not in a very calming and soothing way. “I told you I want space.”

  There was a hesitation on the other end of the line and then his voice came through. “Um…is this Tasha Baker?”

  “Yeah!” I quickly stated, sitting up in my bed. I kicked myself for not looking at the caller ID beforehand. “This is Tasha.”

  “Hello
Tasha, this is Joseph Mallard.”

  I didn’t need to ask who that was, because I knew the name well. “Mr. Mallard. How may I help you?”

  I recalled Matt telling me he talked to him and that I should be hearing from him soon. “I’m assuming that Matthew mentioned to you I would be calling.”

  “Um…yes…he did.”

  “Well, then you know I have reviewed the situation surrounding your termination and I was not happy with what happened to you. That’s why I’m calling to officially offer you your job back, but this time as head writer,” he said.

  “Oh, wow! I mean, I’m glad you called me,” I said, fumbling for the right words to say. The ones I wanted to stay wouldn’t come out. Like, ‘I was treated horribly and, had I not been treated horribly by your employees, I wouldn’t have started working for Matt and fell irreversibly in love with him, only to be mistreated further by your employees who sent him a sex tape and caused me to lose him and fall into the sunken place of heartbreak, forever.’ But, I didn’t say any of those things. Instead, I thanked him. “I really appreciate you looking into my termination, Mr. Mallard. I am so grateful and would love to accept the offer.” I sat up and looked down at my pajamas. Outside of cleaning up, I had been wearing just pajamas since driving away from Matt that night.

  “Great! Can you start tomorrow?” He laughed on the other end. “I mean, I’m a little short staffed.”

  “Tomorrow will be great!” I thanked him, then hung up the phone. That was my sign that I needed to stop fretting over my failed relationship and failed life and get on with it. Mr. Mallard and I said our goodbyes, then I hung up. After I did, I pulled up Matt’s number and started to shoot him a message.

  Tasha: Just got a call from Joseph Mallard. I start the job tomorrow. I

  I stopped typing and looked at the message as the blood drained from my face. It was so easy to think that I should message him, but I couldn’t finish the message. I quickly erased the text and felt that familiar pit rest in my stomach.