The redhead gave Cary a peck on the cheek then turned to the crowd. “I’m going to help bring the special present.” She raced around the corner of the house, followed by Clinton and Millie.
Pansy gave her friend a long hug. “You’re going to be a great mom.” Her voice came out a whisper as she steeled her mind to keep the tears at bay.
Cary and Micah opened the remaining gifts while they waited for their daughter to come back. Many were handmade, ranging from baby blankets and layettes to a miniscule pair of buckaroo chaps and a tiny straw hat.
As Cary opened the last present, her daughter staggered back into the yard, carrying a saddle. It was for a small child, but was still an armful for the girl.
“This is from Clinton and Millie. It’s too small for me,” she chirped, dropping the saddle at her dad’s feet. “But I’m going to teach our baby how to ride.”
Micah took the saddle from his daughter and settled it onto the porch rail. “Our baby is one lucky kid to have you as a sister.”
Willa hugged her dad then took off to find her friends.
As each gift was oohed and awed over, the lump in Pansy’s throat had grown. When she saw the saddle, tears threatened to roll down her cheeks. She was happy for Cary and Micah, she really was. They were good people and they deserved the best. But this party drove home the fact that she’d never be able share her love of rodeo with her daughter. She’d never be able to share anything with her daughter.
I’m not going to cry. Not in front of all these people. Crying demanded explanations, and she wasn’t going to do that. Desperate to leave, she looked around for a way out without having to explain.
“You don’t look so good.”
At the top of her list of people who were never getting explanations was Kade. She kept her gaze on the grass. “I’m fine. Just a headache from all the sugar.”
“They haven’t served the cupcakes yet.”
She turned around to face him. Her plan for keeping away from the cowboy wasn’t going well. “What do you want?”
“Just trying to help.”
“Well, don’t.”
“If I tell Cary and Micah you don’t feel well, that I’m taking you home, you won’t even have to talk to them. You won’t have to talk to anyone.”
Pansy blinked the tears back and cleared her throat. It was like he’d read her mind. “Ah, no.” Hell, no!
She didn’t want to go anywhere with Kade, but if she went to Cary herself and told her friend she had a headache, the Wests would insist she go upstairs and lay down for a while. They’d check on her every few minutes, and if she knew the townspeople of East Hope, they’d all end up in the bedroom with her.
If she insisted on going home, Cary would make sure Micah drove.
No matter how much she hated the thought of him helping her, going with Kade would get her away from the party without giving a reason for her departure. “Just a ride home.”
“Get your stuff and get in the car. I’ll explain to Micah.” By the time she retrieved the roasting pans she’d used to bring the BBQ, Kade had talked to Micah and met her at the car. “Ready to go?”
Pansy placed the empty pans in the back seat. Pushing the door shut, she grabbed the handle on the driver’s side of her green Ford Focus. The old car didn’t look great, but she could count on it when she needed it.
That was more than she could say for many people in her life, including Kade.
“I told them you had a migraine. If you drive, they’ll wonder what’s up.” He trained his gray eyes on her across the roof of the Focus. “You might want to rub the side of your head, cause they’re all watching us.”
He was right. Pansy put her fingers to her temples as she walked around the car and climbed in. When Kade had settled in the driver’s seat, she asked, “Why are you doing this?”
“You didn’t seem to be having much fun, so I thought I’d give you a way to leave gracefully.” Kade handed her a paper bag he’d grabbed on the way to the car.
Pansy looked inside then pulled out a pretty pink cupcake with a tiny sugar baby bib on the top.
“I was having a great time.”
“You always cry at baby showers?”
“I wasn’t.” She wanted to cry now. It would be so nice to tell Kade about Maxie. Tell him how she’d held her baby, talked to her and loved her beyond all reason. But the conversation would open up all kinds of problems and explanations, and she wasn’t ready for that kind of drama. Not with this man. “Allergies.”
“Right—about the cupcake? You going to keep them both for yourself?” He held his hand out, and she handed the pretty pink confection to him.
She pulled out the second cupcake, a blue one, and took a bite. Drowning her sorrows in sugar had never failed her before.
“When are you going to show me your catsuit?”
Pansy sucked in a breath and a bit of cake she’d just swallowed went down the wrong way. As she coughed uncontrollably, Kade pulled into a wide spot on the side of the road.
Finally gaining control, she pulled a tissue from the box in the console and wiped her eyes. When she could speak again without choking, she waved a hand at Kade. “Go.”
“Sorry about that.” Kade’s grin said he wasn’t sorry at all. “I didn’t think you’d have that big of a reaction.” He took a huge bite of his cupcake leaving a smudge of pink icing on his lip.
With very little effort, she could lean over and lick his lip clean.
Where had that thought come from? Her damn independent brain was rebelling against her common sense again. She wasn’t licking his lip or anything else. Act like an adult here, Pansy.
“You’ve got a—” She pointed to her lip.
Kade scrubbed at his mouth with a napkin before looking at her, his brows raised.
“You got it.”
“I look presentable?” When she nodded, he grinned. “Good, now back to the catsuit.”
CHAPTER FOUR
Canned music floated through the air-conditioned room and the other patients spoke in hushed tones as Kade waited for his appointment. He hunched down in the plastic chair, ignoring the elderly couple to his left, and got lost in his thoughts again.
In the week since he’d rescued Pansy from the baby shower, he’d wondered what was going through her mind. She’d become increasingly upset as the party wore on. He couldn’t imagine the girl he’d known hating babies, but something was going on.
Did she have a child? If so, where was it? Pansy having a baby with someone else killed him. Had she been married? Curiosity was eating him up, but the only way to find out the truth was to ask her.
No way was he doing that. She’d made it clear she wasn’t ready to confide in him. Most of the time, she didn’t want to talk to him about the weather.
He’d dropped hints to Millie and Wanda Lu, but neither of them knew anything about Pansy’s past. Cary had warned him several times to stay away from her friend. Micah’s wife wasn’t going to offer any information.
“Kade Vaughn?” The nurse waited as he walked across the room.
He’d only been in Portland for four hours but he was more than ready to get out of the big city. After his two remaining doctor appointments, the only time he’d have to come here would be for a bull riding.
He entered the small examining room and sat in a hard plastic chair. The pretty dark-haired nurse took his blood pressure and temperature and all the things nurses did while you waited for the doc. “Doctor will be with you in a minute.” She smiled then disappeared out the door.
Kade pulled out his phone. In his experience with doctors, their minute was about equal to his hour. To his surprise, Dr. Porter arrived before he could check all his emails.
“Hey, Doc.” Kade climbed onto the examination table and waited while the doctor looked him over.
“Any headaches, dizziness or nausea?”
“Nope. I feel really good, Doc.” No way was he going to tell this guy about the minor headache that was p
resent whenever he got too tired. Or, the occasional bout of the dizzies. “I think I’m ready to start riding. How soon can I enter?”
Dr. Porter shook his head as he took a seat on the stool beside Kade. “Not yet. You’ve got to give this concussion time to heal. In my opinion, you should hang up your bull rope, but I’ve taken care of enough rodeo athletes to know that advice falls on deaf ears. Give it three more months.”
Three months might as well be three decades. At twenty-nine, he was one of the old timers of bull riding. If he waited another ninety days the finals would be over. He’d done a pretty good job of keeping positive during his rehab, but the doctor’s prognosis was depressing.
Chewie’s place was about an hour east of Portland.
Kade’s plan had been to have dinner and a few beers and shoot the shit with his buddy. He’d even told Micah he was spending the night. After hearing he wasn’t released to ride, he couldn’t stand the thought of rehashing old bull riding stories, so he drove straight back to East Hope.
As he turned on to Main Street, there sat the Five and Diner right where it had been since sometime in the fifties.
Kade parked in the small lot to the side of the building. Should he go in or not? The last two times he’d dropped by to eat, Pansy had busied herself with customers, ignoring his attempts at conversation.
Well, hell! Nearly everyone he’d ever known had called him hardheaded. Might as well live up to his reputation. As he pulled open the heavy glass door to the café, the enticing smell of fresh coffee greeted him.
Pansy stood with her back to him, chatting with one of the locals. He hesitated, taking a moment to soak in her familiar beauty, before crossing the room to stand behind her and wait for her to finish her conversation.
As she turned, she let out a shriek and almost dropped the pot of coffee she held. “Quit sneaking up on me. You scared me to death,” she said, exasperation raising the tone of her voice. She pushed past him, ignoring all the staring customers and hurried to the kitchen.
When Kade made his way through the swinging door, Pansy stood with her arms folded over her chest. He knew she was mad, but took a moment to admire the view. The woman was magnificent.
She was sexy as hell in a short, red gingham dress. The dark wig was pulled into pigtails. Gilligan’s Island had never been his favorite show, but Pansy as MaryAnn was enough to get him to rethink his choices.
“Another good choice,” Kade said, mimicking her posture. “You’ve been ignoring me.”
“You’re not important enough for me to ignore.” She turned to the stove and slapped down three hamburger patties. The last one hit the grill, breaking into pieces with the force.
“What happened at the party last week? You were really upset.” Kade leaned against the wall and watched her work. If she didn’t settle down, she’d have to mix the broken burgers with gravy and serve them over biscuits.
Pansy’s shoulders lifted then dropped as a big sigh escaped. “This is really none of your business.”
“Something about the baby presents or the party upset you. If you talk about it, maybe you’ll feel better.” For some reason, Pansy being sad about a baby caused a lump the size of Texas to form in his throat.
She braced her hands on the counter and dropped her head. After a silence filled moment, she turned. Her face was frozen into an implacable frown. “I was pregnant. I lost my baby. Are you happy now, because I don’t feel any better.”
Sometimes he wondered if his older sister hadn’t been right when she’d called him an idjit all those years. He’d known something like this was coming, but how was he supposed to make things better? Closing the distance between them, he pulled Pansy into his arms.
She stiffened for a moment then relaxed the slightest bit. Laying her head on his shoulder, she sighed. “I’m done telling you my secrets.”
A sudden thought made his breath seize in his lungs. He pushed her away until he could see her eyes. “There’s no chance this was our baby is there?”
Her gaze dropped to the floor. When she looked up, her pale blue eyes stared into his. “This baby had nothing to do with us.” She tried to wiggle out of his grasp, but he held her tight.
A rush of relief was smothered with a wave of regret. Kade rested his chin on the top of her head. When he’d thought of Pansy through the years, he hadn’t thought of her with someone else. He hadn’t considered that while he’d gotten along with his life, she’d gotten along with hers. “Where is your husb—?”
The smell of burning meat brought them to their senses. Pansy whirled out of his arms and grabbed the metal spatula. “Double dip dammit!” She scooped up the ruined burgers and dropped them onto a paper plate.
Kade hid a grin when he took the plate from her hands. He’d never heard anyone except Pansy use that particular swear word.
In swift efficient movements, she dropped three more burgers on the grill. “Do you have a dog?”
The opportunity to find out more about Pansy was gone. “I’ll take it to Willa’s new puppy. She’s got so many dogs now, it’s going to break Micah buying dog food.”
Pansy flipped the burgers. She buttered the buns and placed them on the grill before turning to him. Hands on her hips, she stared at him for several minutes. “Why are you following me around, digging into my personal life?”
“I’m a naturally friendly guy?” Kade could usually use humor to distract people. It hadn’t ever worked on the old version of Pansy, and it wasn’t working on this new one. He had to quit thinking of her as the girl she’d been. This woman was different, stronger more determined.
She shook her head and waited.
He stared out the tiny window by the door to gather his thoughts. When he looked at Pansy again, her expression had softened. He could pressure her, get her to tell him her secrets, but he was pretty sure she’d run, and he wasn’t done with her yet. He settled for, “I like you.”
“You don’t know me.” The stubborn look was back, and the softness she’d shown earlier had gone. She turned, scooped the burgers onto the buns and started putting on the condiments. With lettuce, onion, tomato, cheese, bacon and avocado, the stack was close to tipping over. She put the top buns on and jammed a long toothpick through each one. Fries filled up one plate and potato salad the other two. “I have to go back to work. You can leave through the back door.
When Pansy disappeared through the door to the café, happiness followed along in her wake. Riding bulls was what he did, who he was, and he wasn’t ready to change that, but it was getting harder each time he thought of leaving Pansy to go back on the road.
He heard her soft voice through the pass through. “Here you go, Byron. Double order of bacon burgers with salad. Did you want salsa with that?”
Kade watched her chat with her customers. She was friendly to everyone but him. He knew he’d hurt her before, but was it bad enough for her to still be upset? And where had she been the last seven years?
Pansy wasn’t about to open up. Her friend, Cary, had shut him down the last time he’d asked. Maybe if he appealed to Cary’s sweet side, she’d be more forthcoming, and if he could get Micah to run interference, he might actually live.
~*~
The Bad To The Bone ringtone of Pansy’s cellphone startled her out of the dream. She hadn’t had this fantasy for several years, and had almost forgotten the sense of loss it left behind. She’d been in Kade’s arms. Not the Kade she knew now, the Kade she’d thought loved her. In confusion, she glanced around her bedroom.
Just like always, he wasn’t there.
Five fifteen glowed in green letters from the front of her phone, and Micah’s name was in the caller ID.
“I brought Cary to the hospital late last night. She made me promise to call you.” Micah’s voice sounded strained. ““It’s a boy. A big boy.”
“Congratulations! How’s Cary?” Pansy sat up, pulling the duvet around her shoulders. “The baby’s okay, right? Are you in Burns? Where’s Willa?”
“Millie and Clinton took Willa home with them.” Micah’s voice was filled worry and weariness. “The baby’s fine. Kade is on his way to pick you up. I’ll fill you in on the rest when you get here.”
“Wait, what? I don’t need him to drive me.” Cary pushed her way through the clothes in her closet searching for something to wear. She grabbed an oversized cream sweater and threw it on the bed. “I’m capable of driving myself.”
“He’s already on his way. I gotta go.”
Micah was gone before she could say another word. Damn, now she’d have to put on a wig. She stopped, glancing in the mirror on her antique dressing table. Her long brown hair hung past her shoulders in soft waves.
A more appealing option was to give up on this charade. Hiding behind the alternate personalities had proved useful for a while, but for the first time in years, she didn’t feel the need to be someone else. She pulled the sweater over her head and dug through the back of her closet. Folded in a box of old clothes she’d forgotten to give away were a pair of faded Cruel Girl jeans.
Pansy hadn’t worn western clothes since she’d left home. Slipping into them, she was surprised to find the waist a little baggy. Stress wasn’t the best diet plan, but she had’t had much choice.
She padded into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee brewing then sat on the wooden stool by the pantry and pulled on one red cowboy boot then the other. Popping the lid off her travel mug, she filled it with the dark, rich liquid and a healthy dose of cream. At least she could meet Kade adequately caffeinated.
The sound of his knock brought her to her feet. “Come on in.” She grabbed her coat and hurried to the living room.
Kade’s gaze traveled over her then he met her eyes. “Who are you channeling today?”
She straightened then walked past him, her head held high. She might not be in costume, but she could embrace the other women’s strength. “We’ll talk about it in the truck.”
He didn’t speak for the first fifteen miles of the trip, and although that’s what Pansy had hoped for, it was becoming uncomfortable. “Want to talk?”
Sweet Cowboy Kisses (Sugar Coated Cowboys Book 2) Page 5
