Induced Coma
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Niqab
An Egyptian court has ruled in favor of the government’s decision to ban female university students from wearing the face veil (niqab) while taking examinations.
The students’ attorney said the ban “supports rape and sexual harassment. It forces a woman to expose a part of her body she doesn’t want exposed.”
The government said it banned the niqab because students were attending exams disguised as other candidates.
“I will go to my exams anyway,” one female said, “and if they prevent me from entering, I swear by God, I will not forgive this. I will never remove my niqab. Never.”
Millions of Women
Could be on the streets in 2015.
Although women have made historic advances in nearly all areas of American public life in recent decades, a staggering number of single & divorced women across the US are teetering on financial disaster, a new report shows.
Co-authored by The Huffington Post & Amazon, the report takes a wide-angle snapshot of a national economic crisis through the eyes of women.
It paints a portrait of an estimated 48 million women—plus 28 million dependent children—saddled with financial hardship that rapidly, imperceptibly, could slip-slide into exponentially more “bag-ladies” on America’s mean streets.
Thigh Gap
Dr. Lola Lola is determined to push back against the thigh gap mania spreading across social media.
Thigh gap refers to the space between a female’s thighs directly below the vagina, often diamond shaped when the thighs are together. Though it would seem to go against the traditional image of female pulchritude, thigh gap is currently all the rage among American adolescent and teenage girls.
A Beverly Hills plastic surgeon and psychiatrist, Dr. Lola Lola is the author of Mean Girls are Teen Girls (Bliss Tree, $40) and works extensively with teenage girls on body image and self-esteem.
Housework
Cuts breast cancer risk.
Research on 230,000 women from 9 European countries found that household chores were far more cancer-protective than sport.
The women in the Switzerland-funded study spent 17 to 20 hours a week cooking, cleaning, washing and scrubbing the floor on their hands and knees.
Results proved very favorable.
Experts knew that exercise reduced the risk of breast cancer through hormonal and metabolic changes. But it was unclear how much and what types of exercise were optimal.
According to the study, housework alone significantly reduces the risk of both pre- and post-menopausal women getting the disease.
A Pair of Historic Sex Toys
thought to date back to the early 18th century were sold at an Essex auction for £3,600.
The pair, constructed of Black Poplar (Populus nigra) and assumed to be French, were auctioned at Brentwood Antiques Auction on Thursday.
Auctioneer Gillian Claiborne described the sex toys as exceptional.
A Japanese bidder requesting anonymity purchased the pair, which come with their own leather-lined case. One measures 10in (25cm), the other 11in (28cm).
From the catalogue:
Designed to please. Lot 340. A pair of hardwood phalluses contained within a fitted kid leather case with fleurs-de-lys embellishment.
Bed-Warmer
On request, a staff-member at each of London’s three Holiday Inn airport-area hotels will dress in a “fleece sleeper suit” then slip between your sheets. “The Holiday Inn bed-warmer is like having a giant hot water bottle in your bed,” the spokesperson explained. She did not explain why the beds were not warmed by actual hot water bottles.
She emphasized that the bed-warmer leaves the bed before the guest occupies it. She could not confirm if the bed-warmer bathes first, but said hairnets are obligatory. The bed-warmer carries a thermometer to gauge the bed’s required temperature of 20 degrees Celsius.
Fat Flyers
Air France denied reports that it planned an additional charge for overweight passengers unable to fit into a single seat.
Instead, the international carrier said that from Feb. 1, overweight passengers who chose to purchase an extra seat for comfort would get their money back on flights that were not fully booked.
Previously an airline spokesperson said grossly fat flyers will have to pay 75 percent of the cost of a second seat (the full price excluding tax and surcharges) on top of the full price for the first, insisting the decision was for “safety, not esthetic,” reasons.
Ugly
Britons are the ugliest people on the globe, according to a dating website that admits only “beautiful people.”
Fewer than 1 in 9 British males and just 3-and-a-half in 20 females who applied to BeautifulPeople.com have been accepted.
After applicants upload a recent photo and personal profile, current members of the elite dating site rate how attractive potential members are over a 48-hour period.
Norwegian males have proved the most attractive, with 65 percent acceptance, while Danish females are considered the most beautiful, with 77 percent acceptance.
The website was founded in 2005 in Copenhagen.
9/11
An American “activist team” has posted 573,000 pager messages purportedly sent on 9/11 from “regular people” trying to reach friends or loved ones in the World Trade Center.
Messages range from WTC ablaze to Prez aircraft rerouted no telling where he’ll hide to Rumsfeld vows to route Jihadists.
One says, This is Myrna—2nd tower is down—Pls come home.
Some are unrelated to the attacks: Expecting 200 people for the Pig Pickin’. Call if you want. Josh.
Activist team: “Publishing the messages is one more building block to getting a full picture of what happened on that tragic day.”
911
Prosecutors will review the case of a woman who phoned 911 42 times over 6 months for non-emergency reasons, including a call to complain that her husband refused to eat his chicken fried steak dinner.
Last Friday, the woman allegedly made 4 calls to 911, including a hang-up and another where she was heard swearing.
Police dispatched to the residence were told by the 53-year-old woman that her husband repeatedly peed on the toilet seat.
She was also “screaming about stuff that happened 6 months ago.”
The woman, who has no previous convictions, faces charges of 911 abuse.
50 Drunk Santas
raided a cinema complex on Dec. 23 wrecking everything they could, abusing patrons, chanting obscenities, ripping down posters.
“50 imbeciles in Santa outfits burst through a side door,” said a 36-year-old woman waiting to see a movie with her daughter.
“They kept shouting ‘Ho F*****g Ho’,” she said.
Snowman Creep
You’re building a snowman so you’ll want a carrot, a scarf, a bucket of blood. Though blood may seem unusual, it’s a key component to the construction of these snowmen, along with an entrepreneurial spirit.
WE PAY FOR PIX! If you’ve seen a super creepy snowman, upload it asap.
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Schizo Speaks
You gentlemen and ladies of quality who frequently don’t know yourselves what Christian virtue and justice are, look at the sunken eyes of the lower classes, where you can see clearly the sorrow and misery that
weigh on their hearts.
Not everyone who sees his grieved and martyred face in the washroom mirror is a felon or drug addict. On the contrary, the grounds for his misery are to be sought elsewhere.
Friends far and near, if among you there is anyone without sin, let him come to me, and I will implore him for compassion and mercy.
Stella
I was hurt.
I started hurting back, killing.
I couldn’t stop.
I got to liking it and didn’t want to stop.
Why you telling me this?
Because I’m Pacino and you’re DeNiro.
We’ve become legends in our profession.
Wrong; there’s only one legend in our profession.
His name is Brando.
Jacko’s White Glove
Michael Jackson’s famous white glove sold for $350,000 at a memorabilia auction in New York, soaring past pre-sale estimates, while a black sequined jacket he wore during a 1989 world tour fetched $245,000.
The Jackson memorabilia highlighted an auction of hundreds of rock’n’roll items, including many not associated with the “King of Pop,” who passed in June.
The white glove, called “the Holy Grail of Michael Jackson,” was expected to fetch about $50,000.
With the added commission, the final price of the white glove excluding taxes ran to $427,000.
The buyer was a Japanese businessman who requested anonymity.
Her Mangled
body was found in a suitcase in a metal trash bin in Beverly Hills.
Investigators could not use dental records or fingerprints because her teeth and fingers had been excised.
They tracked the serial number of her breast implants.
Her husband, a reality-show contestant, was charged with murder.
Vidcam Shades
These shades are kool. They conceal a built-in video camera that allows you to discreetly record everything you see without anyone’s knowledge.
The 0.3 megapixel pinhole vid-cam is planted in the bridge, providing 320x 240 high-quality resolution for AVI videos.
The left temple’s frame houses a slot that accommodates a microSD card for additional memory storage.
Vids can be uploaded to a computer running Windows such-and-such using the built-in USB port and cable.
Loiter around women’s toilets or men’s lockers.
Voyeur tech—beats the shit out of being invisible.
Record the raunch.
Shake yo’ bejesus.
Walmart
A South Carolina male has been found guilty of second degree child cruelty for slapping a crying 2-year-old at a Walmart.
The mother carrying her child was shopping when the toddler began crying. The man, 61, approached the mother and said, “If you don’t shut that baby up, I will.”
He slapped the child four or five times in the face. Then he glared at the mother: “See, I told you I would shut her up.”
I think you left something out.
What’s that?
Call it an educated guess: Child is black, assailant white?
You’ve read the script.
Walmart
The Prosecutor’s Office reported on its website that an arrest was made in a “bias incident” at a Walmart store in southern New Jersey.
A male voice came over the Walmart public address system Saturday evening and announced:
Attention, Walmart customers: All black people must leave the store immediately.
Last Lines
Gandhi, shot to death by an infuriated Brahmin, was reported to have uttered “Ram” (Lord Rama).
Serial killer John Wayne Gacy, about to be executed by lethal injection, shot back: “Kiss my ass.”
Lenny Bruce, transported to the ambulance after ODing on heroin, muttered about the nurse tending to him: “I saw her pussy.”
Timothy Leary suddenly raised his head on his deathbed and whispered: “Why not? Why not?”
Leary repeated his final utterance in case someone in attendance did not hear it.
Then he died—or faked dying.
Man’s a holy foo’.
I wager his ass is still trippin’.
6th Mass Extinction
Earth has suffered through 5 mass extinctions, the worst of which was 220 million years ago when 96% of marine and 70% of terrestrial organisms disappeared.
Scientists believe that our planet is threatened with the 6th mass extinction and that it has already begun.
Radical change in the chemical composition of ocean water is the crucial factor in the gradual sliding to mass extinction.
The worst extinction crises in history were dependent on chemical changes in oceans.
The oceans of Planet Earth are contaminated beyond reclaim.
Scientists attribute the sixth mass extinction to man and his institutions.
Murfreesboro
A driver passed out in his 1961 El Camino at a gas station while a batch of methamphetamine was cooking in the passenger seat.
A station employee in Murfreesboro called police after the car was sitting at the pump for two hours on Labor Day.
Police say a chemical process to make the drug was in progress.
Meth-making ingredients can be explosive, so gas pumps were shut down as a precaution.
The driver, 26, is being held on a $35,000 bond charged with driving under the influence, driving on a suspended license, reckless endangerment, manufacturing methamphetamine without FDA approval.
Short Rage
Pingping, the world’s shortest man, insists he prefers managing his hairdressing salon to craving fame.
The 22-year-old, who lives with his 5 sisters in Inner Mongolia, is just 73cm tall—making him (Guinness) the shortest man with the ability to walk, or waddle.
Pingping’s favorite hobby: Murdering large people.
Things to Do
From a gallery above the frantic proceedings of the New York Stock Exchange, toss dollar bills to the traders below.
Mock them as they scramble to snatch the $$.
Yippie commander Magic Jew Abbie Hoffman did that in August ’67, making WASP Wall Street do the money-hop.
Rockstar ’69
Shit, can’t be morning / Fuck that shit
Crawl naked unsteady out of spherical waterbed in nameless hotel anywhere city
Ceiling-mirror shattered / stained from group-grope action the night before or night before that
Spike your good-morning OJ with liquid meth
Three long tokes on the waterpipe
Slip on something suede with tassels smelling of cigarette smoke, patchouli
Zombie out to the elevator barefoot, press P for Penthouse
Ah, your mates are sitting at the bar, but who the fuck are they?
Man, it’s those honky reporters from Rolling Stone & Crawdaddy Fuckin’ 9:30 in the morning
Coke $$
A study found that 91 percent of dollar bills contain traces of cocaine. That is nearly 30 percent higher than two years ago when 63 percent of greenbacks contained cocaine.
The startling discovery points to the increasingly widespread use of cocaine in the US, the world’s biggest consumer of the drug. Money gets contaminated with coke when drug dealers make a transaction or when users snort the drug using a rolled bill.
Washington DC topped US cities with 97 percent of dollar bills found to contain cocaine. The cleanest bills were collected from Green Bay, Wisconsin.
Thong
A 19-year-old raped & strangled was found on the Texas side of the border nude except for her cotton & lycra thong.