No Time To Dream

by Treva Harte

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  NO TIME TO DREAM

  An Ellora’s Cave publication written by

  TREVA HARTE

  MS Reader (LIT) ISBN # 1-84360-442-6

  Mobipocket (PRC) ISBN # 1-84360-443-4

  Other available formats (no ISBNs are assigned):

  Adobe (PDF), Rocketbook (RB), & HTML

  © Copyright Treva Harte, 2003.

  All Rights Reserved, Ellora's Cave.

  Ellora's Cave Publishing, Inc. USA

  Ellora's Cave Ltd, UK

  This e-book may not be reproduced in whole or in part by email forwarding, copying, fax, or any other mode of communication without author or publisher permission.

  Edited by Karen William

  Cover Art by Angela Knight

  Warning:

  The following material contains strong sexual content meant for mature readers. NO TIME TO DREAM has been rated HARD R, erotic, by three individual reviewers. We strongly suggest storing this electronic file in a place where young readers not meant to view this ebook are unlikely to happen upon it. That said, enjoy…

  Prologue

  It was the dream again.

  She knew it was because she felt the underwater quality to it, the unnaturally slow motion of bodies. She knew because she struggled to stop but, just like an undertow, she sank back into it once more.

  They were in the airport. Victor was jiggling his foot while they waited, just as he always did when he had to wait. Jen laid her hand on his leg.

  "Less than a half hour, darling," Victor leaned over to tell her. "We'll be out of here. Anywhere in South America you want to go, Jen. Do you think you'll like Rio de Janeiro? Next assignment I'll try for Europe. I know you want to see Paris—"

  That was when the loudspeaker announced her name. Jen's stomach knotted as she went to the phone. Victor followed behind her, his hand touching her shoulder. Jennifer listened and began to cry.

  "Victor—my parents," she managed. "Cee Cee says they're in the hospital. It was a car accident…Vic, I have to go to them."

  Indecision chased over his face. Then, just as she had heard it over and over in her head, done over and over a million times before, she told him, "You can go. It's a new job and they wouldn't understand if you weren't there. I'll catch up as soon as I hear—"

  "Is it bad?" Victor asked. "How are they?"

  "I don't know. It sounds bad but Cee Cee doesn't have any real information yet. The girls are waiting in the hospital. Someone has to be there for them. They're just teenagers. Vic, I can't go now."

  He hesitated. For him, this was the big moment, the big job as a photographer, the chance to finally leave. He had been waiting for this chance forever. He had been waiting for them both to be able to go together. Maybe she was the only other person who knew how desperate he was to escape at last and show everyone that he could do this. She tried to smile. They both knew what his decision would finally be.

  The airline's crackling microphone announced the final departure for their flight.

  "I'll call," he said at last and bent to kiss her hard. "Give your parents my love. Call Jack to pick you up or get a taxi to the hospital. We'll sort it out as soon as we can. Don't worry. Jen, I love you."

  "Victor, I love you too—"

  She was almost awake now. This was where the dream always ended and she had to wake up, realizing that the worst thing in her life had not only happened but she had to dream it over and over again.

  Jennifer let out a deep breath as she woke up. She braced herself. Sometimes what came now was worse because then she knew she was awake. This part was true.

  And then it came.

  The hurt washed over her again, just like when it hadn't been a dream. The pain was there—it never seemed to lose its intensity. But she hadn't known what was coming when she and Victor had first made their decision, back when the scene in the airport had been real.

  She struggled for more sleep, even though she knew the dream and the questions would keep coming back again.

  Abruptly, Jen got up. She couldn't go back to sleep and she couldn't bear to keep thinking. Throwing some clothes on, she decided to forget even trying for a normal night.

  * * * * *

  Jen sat out on the porch with Poppy curled up companionably next to her. Who needed sleep when the dark night sky had bright stars and the evening breeze started to cool down the heat? It didn't matter if she was alone in the quiet. She didn't need anyone with her.

  Despite what she didn't need, she smiled when the Lexus pulled into the driveway next door. Jack was home. He hesitated when he saw the porch light on next door. Obviously he wasn't in the mood for neighborly company.

  Jen would have let him go on in and said nothing, but Poppy jumped up and ran over, barking furiously and wagging cheerfully, in her usual confused fashion. Jen stood up to wave and shush the prancing dog.

  She felt a little embarrassed, as if she'd been spying on him. Of course that was ridiculous. Shoot, if she waited up to see him every time he came home late, she might never get any sleep.

  He walked toward her. She saw the remnants of a tomcat grin on his face, saw in the way he walked that he hadn't been out late working. Or at least not working on anything to do with the firm.

  "Nice night," Jen observed. "Too nice to sleep."

  "Nothing wrong, is there, Jen?" Jack asked.

  What a nice guy. He was looking at her with genuine concern. He did care. Even if he was a ladies' man and she wasn't one of his ladies.

  "No. Thanks for asking, Jack." She ran her hand briefly down his cheek. "Did you get lucky tonight?"

  He shifted his hands to the back pockets of his jeans and didn't answer. Jen couldn't quite interpret the look on his face but she knew enough about his expression to hastily pull her hand back. The lazy amusement usually in his eyes wasn't there.

  "Sorry. That was a little personal. I hope you did. I'm sure she did," Jen hastily changed the subject. "I guess I could use an early night myself. I need to get up earlier tomorrow if I'm going to beat you into the office."

  "Try it." Jack was unconcerned as he issued the old challenge. "It hasn't happened yet. But you're welcome to make me coffee if you do get in first."

  They shared a smile. The older partners had their secretaries and paralegals wait on them hand and foot. Fetching coffee was just one of the ways the secretaries had to defer to them. Jack had never even hinted she was anything but a professional, with her own work to do. It was one of the things she liked so much about him.

  "If I do, be careful about what you find in the cup," she said. "Tomorrow, Jack."

  Her long brown hair was braided, the way it usually was. He wished it was loose.

  Her thin T-shirt clung to her back. He wished she was walking toward him instead of away.

  While he was at it, he wished her shirt was off. He could imagine her, her hair partially covering her skin, concealing and then revealing her breasts. Her eyes, staring at him shyly, desire in them. She wouldn't be sure what to do about what she wanted. He could show her.

  He felt the desire hit him again and braced against it. After all, it was nothing new. He could live with it. Just.

  "G'night, Jen."

  She went inside, shutting the door firmly, with the dog trailing obediently behind her.

  Damn it, she'd done it again. Even after he'd spent hours in bed
with someone else, she just had to look at him and he was twisted up with desire and despair and now this sick feeling of guilt. He didn't owe her fidelity. He didn't owe her anything but friendship. He gave her that unstintingly. Always.

  Jack sank onto the porch chair where she had sat. He could smell her scent on the chair's pillow. Then he put his head in his hands.

  Chapter One

  "Hey, Molly." Jack prowled restlessly in the living room.

  "Hey yourself, lady-killer," Molly responded, as she bounced Vicky up and down. "Is that some fancy cologne I smell? Mmm, my heart is palpitating."

  "Control yourself." Jack paused in his pacing to ruffle her hair. "I'm saving myself for your big sister. At least for tonight."

  "I'm younger and cuter. Bet I have a lot more stamina, too." Molly mock-preened and then relaxed into a grin. "Anyhow, why don't you sit down for a while? You won't have enough energy left to take her out if you keep stalking around the house like that. Don't worry, tiger. We know the plan. I have the keys and everything. I'm just glad you're the one who is going to handle her first reaction to the birthday surprise."

  He laughed and continued to walk around the room, randomly touching the framed photographs on the mantle. There were recent ones—of Vicky just after her birth, of Kevin in uniform. But he stopped by the one that had two laughing adults standing behind six kids. Jen, Kevin, Cecilia, and Molly held hands. The two teenage boys stood sheepishly to the side. He remembered how Victor and he had adamantly refused to hold anyone's hand, but were secretly thrilled to be included in the family picture.

  "Were we ever that young?" Jack asked. "Lord, what an ugly adolescent I was! All pimples and skinny legs."

  "Don't worry. You've outgrown it," Molly assured him.

  "The rest of the people in the photo look good." Jack fingered the frame.

  "Mom and Dad loved that shot." Molly followed him to the fireplace mantelpiece. "They always said they finally had their whole family in it."

  "But that had Victor and me—oh."

  When Daniel Turner and his wife, Nora, had died, half the city mourned, but Jack doubted they had grieved with the intensity he had. Even their real daughters and son couldn't have appreciated what having them as a surrogate father and mother had meant to him.

  "They were gorgeous people—inside and out." Jack didn't look up from the photos. "I loved them to pieces."

  "They felt the same way about you, Jack." Molly patted his arm.

  Making a faintly embarrassed gesture with his hand, Jack turned to yell up the stairs. "Hurry up, Jen! We have reservations."

  Upstairs in her bedroom, Jen grinned. It sounded just the way it used to, when the boys would be anxious to go grab a pizza and yelled impatiently as they waited for her.

  The slight jitters in her stomach eased. After all this wasn't a date. It was just dinner with Jack. Jack had suggested it after he was reminded about her birthday. Probably her sisters had shamed him into suggesting it.

  "I'm going to check her first," Cee Cee called from outside the bedroom door. Then she strolled in to survey her older sister.

  "Do I pass inspection, Mom?" Jen asked.

  She wasn't entirely kidding. How a changeling like Cee Cee had been born into their casual family, Jen didn't know, but her opinion on how people looked mattered. With her sleek dark brown hair cut in a short blunt cut and her exotic green eyes, Cecilia Turner knew what looked good on herself and on others. She'd done some modeling and still had offers to go to New York for some fashion shoots. So far Cee Cee had ignored the offers. Jen didn't know why, but no one dared ask much about why Cee Cee did anything.

  "Jack, hang on," Cee Cee called again.

  She turned to Jen and pushed a skirt into her hand.

  "I suppose the shirt will do—it isn't too old maidish, but the skirt must go up a few inches," Cee Cee told her, calmly. "This isn't a business lunch, kid. Jack's taking you out to one of the best restaurants in town. Play it right and maybe you can go dancing afterwards."

  "That skirt won't match my shoes," Jen pointed out, trying not to sound desperate. Cee Cee's skirts were fine for Cee Cee but Jen didn't have the courage to wear something that would barely cover her butt and fit like a second skin.

  "That's an added bonus." Cee Cee patted her a bit too sweetly on the shoulder. "I know you have some other shoes somewhere."

  She stuck her head in the closet and pulled out another pair.

  "My feet will cramp in those!" Jen protested. "Those heels are probably three inches high."

  "You'll live." Cee Cee shrugged without sympathy. "And you'll live dangerously. Dress your age for once. Why look fifty six when you are only going to be twenty six?"

  After a few more protests and some quick cosmetic touch ups by Cee Cee, her younger sister pushed Jen in front of the mirror.

  "Now you're ready," she told her.

  Jen looked at her hair, put up in a French twist, stared at the possibly illegal skirt and blinked. She didn't look as stupid as she thought. Instead her legs looked impossibly long in the dark nylons and high heels, her shirt suddenly looked much sexier than she had ever imagined and Cee Cee's makeup made her face look rather mysterious and alluring. This was an outfit Cee Cee could handle without a qualm. Maybe she could, too.

  If she didn't fall off her high heels.

  "I guess I do look like I'm ready for a night out," Jen finally admitted.

  "And now you won't embarrass Jack. He's a sweetheart for taking you out for your birthday but he has his standards, you know." Cecilia sounded like Jen was about three years old and was likely to get crayon marks on her clothes if an adult wasn't watching.

  "Gee, thanks." Jen briefly thought of some of the gorgeous women she had seen Jack escort into his house next door.

  She couldn't possibly match up to most of them, but she didn't look too bad. Besides, she wasn't going into his bedroom tonight. She just needed to look good for her own ego. Jen winked at the reflection in the mirror. She had to admit that her ego felt pretty good right now.

  "OK, Jack, she's presentable." Cee Cee firmly propelled her out of the bedroom and toward the stairs.

  Molly stopped talking and Jack stood up as she entered the room. He looked her up and down for longer than she had expected. The silence lengthened.

  "Am I OK?" Jen asked at last.

  "You'll do," he told her, but there was a certain tone in his voice that made Jennifer grin.

  "I look pretty hot, huh?" She smoothed her skirt.

  "You'll do just fine."

  "Then let's go, Jack."

  At the restaurant Jen paused for a moment after ordering, looking at Jack uncertainly.

  "So what do you want to talk about?" she asked. "We can't talk about work, since that's too ordinary. Ditto talk about Vicky or the girls."

  "How about how beautiful you look?" Jack offered.

  "Well, as delightful as that would be, I think we might run out of conversation in a few minutes," Jen snorted.

  "Oh, I think I could keep talking about you a little longer than that." Jack leaned forward over the table. "I've been known to go on at length about my date's charms. It usually works, too."

  "I'm not that vain." Jen shook her head. "And as for what it works for—well, let's not go into that. I suppose I could reciprocate, though. After all, you look pretty nice yourself. That could drag the conversation out a bit more."

  The waiter brought the wine Jack had ordered and Jen watched him taste it and nod. The waiter began to pour for both of them.

  He never made a big deal of it, but Jack knew his way around expensive restaurants. Going to one certainly wasn't the big deal to him that it was to her. Still, it was incredibly nice of him to offer to take her.

  "Kevin called to say he'd have some leave around Thanksgiving," Jen ventured. "He'll come home for the holiday. We haven't seen him since he left for overseas."

  "How does he like the army?"

  "I guess the military suits him. I assume he's goin
g to stay in it. He hasn't said anything to the contrary. It'll be great to see him again. I hope Molly and Cee Cee are nice to him."

  "They're still angry?" Jack asked.

  "Yes, I'm afraid so. What they expected of a twenty-year-old who hadn't even graduated from college, I don't know," Jen sighed.

  "Maybe they're comparing his behavior to a certain twenty-three-year-old’s," Jack told her. "She did all right by her family. She always has."

  "Thanks." Jennifer waved her hand in dismissal of the praise. "But let's change the subject."

  "Here, have some wine. It's delicious and will give you a minute to think of a new subject for our conversation."

  After sipping, Jen told him, "You're invited for Thanksgiving, of course, Jack. Do you have any other plans?"

  Victor had no family and Jack might just as well not have, either. For years Jack and Victor had been part of the family gatherings. Then came the accident and there hadn't been much of any family anything.

  "You think I might want to join dear Mama and her latest in—Palm Springs, I think it is." Jack almost sneered. That was unusual. Jack normally maintained a grim silence about his family. "Or perhaps Daddy would want me down at the ranch in Texas with his trophy wife and the half-siblings. It boggles my mind that I have brothers and sisters who're a little older than Vicky. I guess it's no surprise Daddy seems to fear I might have too much in common with his wife. She's is a lot closer to my age than his."

  "Jack." Jen put her hand on his arm. "I didn't mean it that way. But you know that for the last few holidays you have done things like go skiing or flown down to someplace sunny. You can come to our place if you don't have anything better to do. We'd love to see you."

  "There could be nothing better than going to your place." Jack sounded sincere. "I like my ski trips and beach trips. I can't lie about that. But the only reason I haven't shown up recently is that I didn't think anyone wanted to celebrate."