Coup De Grâce

by Lani Lynn Vale

  I refrained from grimacing.

  Cleaning the kitchen was my least favorite thing to do in the world.

  Give me a mop or a toilet brush all day long, but the thought of touching food and smelling it really made me want to gag.

  Michael looked at me, gauging my willingness to do it, and started to say something, but I stayed his hand.

  “Okay,” I said brightly, standing up and reaching for Michael’s and my plate.

  When I started to pull Michael’s plate away, he held onto it until I looked into his eyes.

  What I saw there was concern.

  For me.

  Smiling at him, I leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips, whispering, “I’m okay.”

  He looked into my eyes, studying me for long moments, then nodded. “Bring me some pie on the way back out.”

  I winked. “Yes, sir.”

  “See, that’s what I like to hear! Lizzie, when are you gonna learn how to obey like that?” Manuelo asked loudly.

  Laughing, I followed a grumbling Elizabeth, and an even more unhappy Joslin, into the kitchen.

  “Makin’ us look bad, my dear,” Elizabeth said once the door swung shut behind us.

  They had one of those swinging doors that I’d only seen in movies, and their kitchen was state of the art.

  “Man, I could knock out some tamales in here!” I said in awe.

  “You’re welcome to make them anytime you wish, as long as you share,” Elizabeth offered graciously.

  “Deal,” I said, stopping by the trash to dump what remained on the two plates in my hand into the trash before walking them to the sink where Elizabeth was rinsing the dishes.

  Joslin took a seat at the table and started leafing through a magazine, leaving Elizabeth and I to fill the silence, which was surprisingly easy, considering.

  “So, what made you want to be a midwife?” Elizabeth asked, offering me a rinsed off dish to load into the dishwasher.

  “I’m a paramedic. The first call I ever took when I was on my own was a forty week pregnant woman having her baby in a closet in her bedroom. It was during one of those storms that threatened to hail and damage everything in the affected area with its high winds. They’d just rung the tornado siren when we showed up,” I told her. “So we get there, and she’d already moved to the closet with her freaking out husband at her side. That’s where we delivered her. And I’ve been hooked ever since.”

  “Those are the types of stories I love to hear. As you know, I work on the ped’s floor. It can be depressing at times to hear some stories,” Elizabeth said, handing me a handful of forks.

  “Dean and I have decided to try invitro fertilization,” Joslin announced from her spot at the table.

  I froze, as did Elizabeth.

  “Y’all haven’t really given it that long,” Elizabeth hesitated.

  “We’ve been trying for over a year, so Dean went to get tested and they discovered he had a very low sperm count. They suggested invitro, but even then they’re not sure that he’ll be able to fertilize my eggs. We’re going to ask Michael if he’d be willing to donate sperm…”

  I dropped the plate I was holding and stormed out of the room.

  I was so mad that I could spit nails, and when I found Dean and Michael in a tense huddle in the corner of the living room.

  “Michael!” I yelled, storming to him.

  He turned around to look at me in concern, then his eyes narrowed when he saw Joslin’s smiling face at my back.

  “What?” he asked worriedly.

  “We need to talk. Outside … now,” I told him quickly.

  “I told her that we’re going to ask Michael to donate sperm,” Joslin announced to the room as a whole.

  Michael turned stiffly and stared at me, ready for what he knew was coming.

  Because let me tell you a little something about me.

  I’m a hothead.

  I react first, speak second, and think third.

  It’s gotten me into trouble my entire life.

  “You will not have a kid with anyone but me!” I yelled loudly, punctuating my point with a finger jab to his chest.

  Michael’s eyes glittered.

  “I’m not having kids with anyone, so it’s a moot point,” Michael said, crossing his arms over his chest.

  “But Dean, you said he’d agree!” Joslin whined.

  “My baby brother is not having a kid with you. That’s fucked,” Hannah put in her two cents.

  “But it wouldn’t be his kid and mine, it’d be mine and Dean’s,” Joslin continued to whine.

  “Yeah right. You know damn well and good that if it’s Michael’s DNA, he’ll have a responsibility to that kid, even if you want him not to,” Manuelo said seriously.

  “It’d be our kid! He wouldn’t have any say to it!” Joslin dug herself deeper.

  Michael’s body became tense, and I knew he was about to say something harsh.

  “Michael and I are serious, and I’m really not comfortable with having a child of his running around with y’all. Not to say that you wouldn’t be capable parents,” I told Dean. “But what’s a part of Michael is a part of me. So would y’all be comfortable with sharing this child with me and Michael? Because I know I wouldn’t be comfortable doing that with y’all.”

  “I think that we need to talk to Michael without you here,” Dean said softly. “Joslin, why don’t you go finish cleaning the kitchen with Nikki and…”

  “No, she’s right. I won’t be having any kids. But if I were, it wouldn’t be with Joslin. Sorry,” Michael said, shoving his hands into his pockets and looking around the room at all the occupants.

  Manuelo and Hannah, I could tell, were firmly on my side.

  Elizabeth, I could tell, was conflicted.

  She wanted both of her boys to be happy.

  And I knew I’d made an enemy out of Joslin first and foremost.

  There wouldn’t be any turning back from that.

  Dean, however, looked oddly happy.

  Like he hadn’t wanted to have children with her. Nor her to have any children with anyone else.

  Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep.

  I glanced at Michael as he pulled his pager out of his pocket.

  “Gotta go,” he muttered, looking at the readout. “Nikki, come on. Let’s go.”

  We left within seconds, and I was so happy I could scream.

  “I cannot believe,” I said, plugging my seatbelt in, “That she asked you that.”

  Michael snorted. “She always wanted kids. And I think Dean was in the process of telling me he didn’t want kids either, when you burst through the door like a hot fire poker was shoved up your ass.”

  I winced.

  “That sounds painful,” I admitted.

  He shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I’ve no doubt that it would be, though.”

  He pulled out of his parents subdivision, flipping the lights on that I hadn’t realized were there.

  “Wow,” I said, looking up at the flashing lights that were mounted to his rearview mirror. “Does it make sounds, too?”

  He hit a button on his steering wheel, and the sound of a loud air horn, followed by the distinct buuuurp-burrrp most police cars used filled the night air.

  Surprisingly, people moved out of our way fairly quickly.

  “You can take my truck back to your house,” he muttered. “I’ll get someone to drop me off at my place.”

  I blinked.

  “You’re not coming back over?”

  Was that a whine I detected in my voice?

  Yuck, I hated whining.

  “No, there’s no telling when I’ll be back,” he told me as he pulled into the station.

  Then, without another word, he disappeared, leaving the truck running and me surprised and a little bit hurt.

  He’d always come to my house after his calls before. Why was this time any different?

  Had what I
said been out of line?

  Surely not. But hell, what did I know?

  Chapter 14

  Show me your kitties.

  -T-shirt

  Nikki

  “Where are you?” Michael asked.

  I looked at the doctor’s office where I was currently waiting for my appointment, and lied through my teeth.

  “I’m at the store. Do you need anything?” I asked sweetly.

  He grunted. “No. I was just hoping you were home so you could bring me my spare pistol. Something is wrong with mine and I guess I need to take it in to get it fixed.”

  “No, I’m not there. I’m sorry,” I told him honestly.

  “Damn. I can’t get away. I’m about to go into a meeting, and I have a SWAT seminar in Longview at twelve,” he sighed.

  “I can bring it to Longview for you, as long as that’s okay. I have to go to the mall anyway,” I offered.

  He made a sound of contentment. “That sounds good. What do you need at the mall?”

  Pants because mine don’t fit anymore, was what I was thinking, but what I said was, “New pants. Mine have something defective with the button.”

  Not totally a lie.

  The defectiveness with the button came up because I couldn’t get the button to meet the hole that was designed for it.

  I’d had to use a hair tie to hook the two together, and eventually Michael was going to notice that I could no longer button my pants.

  I was going to buy myself some time, though, by buying some bigger jeans.

  It’d been three weeks since I’d gone with Michael to pull his sister out of the mud.

  Three weeks since I’d met his parents.

  And three weeks since I’d finished school.

  But I’d been busy.

  I’d ‘graduated’ just two days ago, although it was just a formality.

  I’d taken my certification test that was required in the State of Texas, and I was now a licensed certified midwife.

  “Ms. Pena?” A young woman’s voice called, making me look up from the contemplation of my fingernails, which were sorely in need of a manicure.

  Sadly, I knew that wasn’t going to happen any time soon.

  I didn’t have time.

  And when I did have time, I’d rather nap.

  This pregnancy that I wasn’t announcing was really draining the hell out of me.

  I stood and walked over to the woman.

  “Are you ready?” She asked with a smile.

  I nodded. “Yep.”

  I was.

  There was no denying it anymore.

  None.

  If all my calculations were correct, I was well past the ‘I just missed my period’ stage.

  Which was normally when women felt it safe to announce their pregnancy to the world.

  Something that I hadn’t, nor wouldn’t, find the courage to do anytime soon.

  “Alright, we’ll get your weight and blood pressure, then you’ll take that cup right there,” she indicated the cup on the counter. “And fill the cup up to the…”

  “First line, yes I know. I’m a midwife,” I told her, smiling happily.

  It never got old, saying that.

  “Oh! I want to do that!” The woman crowed. “I’ve been thinking about it. Is it hard?”

  I smiled. “It’s tough, yes. I think the ‘hardest’ part though, is waking up in the middle of the night when the women start giving birth. But I’m not going to go that route with the home births. I’ve already got a position lined up with Good Shepherd. I’ll be assisting the doctors there. I’ll be on twelve hour shifts, ready to play catcher if the doctor’s cannot make it in time,” I told her.

  Her eyes lit.

  “I didn’t know they had that option,” she said, gesturing to the scale. “I’ll seriously have to look into it. I took this job because of the baby aspect. I just love meeting the little ones.”

  I could relate.

  Delivering babies never got old.

  I’d helped deliver a baby in the parking lot of the ER.

  The woman had pulled to a rocking stop in a big, jacked up Chevy truck with her frantic husband at the wheel.

  The husband had been white as a sheet, and I could see why the minute I opened the door to the truck and saw a baby practically on the verge of being born, staring at me from the woman’s vagina.

  The baby was literally staring, too.

  His head was in the sunny side up position, which meant the baby was coming into the world facing the sky rather than the ground like he was supposed to.

  It also meant that it hurt a lot more.

  Which the woman that’d been birthing the boy was letting us know with her eloquent play on words.

  I’d lifted my arms just in time to catch the boy as the woman had given one valiant push.

  The baby slid from the mother’s birth canal into my outstretched hands, and there’d been no looking back since.

  “Okay, you can step down,” the woman said. “Sit here, please.”

  After checking my blood pressure, and filling the dreaded plastic cup, she showed me to a room.

  “I’m sure you know by now what this little gem is!” She said, holding up a Doppler.

  I nodded, sat down, and lifted my shirt. “Sure do. Have at it.”

  “You said you were twelve weeks, so that should be more than enough time for her to develop and allow us to hear the heartbeat.”

  I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds of the Doppler at work, amazed at how different it was from this end.

  “Ahh,” the woman said. “There it is.”

  I smiled, and tears filled my eyes, as I listened to mine and Michael’s baby for the very first time.

  And I fell in love.

  Hopelessly devoted to this little life inside of me.

  “One forty two. Perfect perfect!” She said. “Alright, my dear. My name’s Dalia if you need anything. The doctor should be in with you in about ten to fifteen minutes,” Dalia explained as she headed to the room’s door, and then closed it quietly behind her.

  Well, at least I didn’t have to sit here naked while I waited.

  This visit was late.

  Most women usually went in when they were four to six weeks pregnant.

  Seeing as I was twelve, I wouldn’t have to have the normal vaginal ultrasound. I could have the one that would run over the outside of my belly.

  Which also meant I wouldn’t have to get naked.

  I busied myself with a magazine on birthing a child, all the while I tried to tell myself to calm down and not freak out.

  Freaking out had been a major part of my life as of late.

  How did I tell Michael?

  Would he be okay with it?

  Would he ask me to abort it?

  I knew one thing, though, and that was that this baby was mine, and I loved it already.

  And if I had to give up my relationship with Michael because he couldn’t see past his fears, then I’d do it.

  It’d be hard as hell, but I’d do it.

  And I planned on telling him tonight after we had dinner with our families.

  Maybe I’d pour a few drinks into him, too.

  Maybe that would help him stay calm and help him realize that having a child wasn’t the end of the world.

  The door to the room clicked open, and I looked up into the eyes of an older man in his mid to late sixties.

  “Hello,” Doctor Jones said, offering his hand. “I’m Doctor Jones. It’s nice to meet you.”

  I smiled at him and offered him my hand, too.

  The moment my hand touched his, I felt a little zing of discomfort pulse down my arm, but I hid it with a smile. “Nice to meet you, too.”

  He took a seat on that little rolling chair, and I was never more thankful that I wasn’t naked than right at this moment.

  Because if this man would’ve been doing stuff betwee
n my legs, I might very well have screamed.

  There wasn’t anything that I could put my finger on that made me so nervous and uncomfortable.

  He was normal looking for the most part.

  He did have a slight bald spot at the very top of his head, and he had too much of a leer in his smile.

  But other than that, he was a normal man for that age.

  There was nothing that truly stuck out about him, but I knew I wouldn’t be coming back to this doctor if I could help it.

  The way this practice worked, though, was that I had to see all of the doctors in case of the event that my primary OB/GYN was busy with another patient or out of town.

  I had to meet with them all, and this doctor, Dr. Jones, was the first one available.

  So I’d taken the appointment, even though he wasn’t the doctor that I wanted to speak with.

  Luckily, I wouldn’t have to take another appointment with him.

  “Alright, well your pregnancy test came back positive, so you are indeed pregnant. Today we’ll be doing a sonogram on you to double check the dates, but with what I heard about you being a midwife, I’m fairly positive that your calculations on your gestation are correct,” he grinned.

  I hid my wince once again with a smile. “Yeah, I’m fairly positive myself.”

  He nodded. “What does your husband do?”

  Instead of telling him that I wasn’t married, I just smiled and told him, “He’s a police officer.”

  Something in his eyes flared, but was gone just as quickly as I saw it.

  “Well that’s nice, I bet y’all are excited,” he said, standing up and walking to the sink to wash his hands.

  I leaned back and lifted my shirt when he came back to me, his hands moving to my belly.

  He pressed into my abdomen, and I had to clench my core tightly when the movement made the state of my bladder go from bearable to Defcon One.

  “Everything feels alright,” he said, moving back until he was standing at the sink. “I’ve written a prescription for prenatal vitamins, as well as some nausea meds if you feel that you’ll be needing some, since I read in your chart that you’ve been experiencing quite a bit of nausea and vomiting.”

  I nodded, and he smiled, that leer tilting up just the corner of his lips once again.

  “Alright,” he said, standing up and heading to the door. “If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to call if need be. Do you know where the sonogram room is?”