by Rod Carstens
"The guy who brought his body home."
They all stood there silently. The front door opened. A large overweight black woman emerged. Her face creased by work and worry she stared down at the two young white people surrounded by the menacing young black men. You could almost see the marks of a lifetime of cleaning other people's homes, places of business and hotels where she could never hope to stay in the way she moved. Yet there was no defeat in her instead there was a strong and proud woman who had retained her dignity through all of the hard work and hard times. Someone who had faced those hardships with no time for feeling sorry for herself or her plight, a woman who had to the extent she could have confronted those hardships on her own terms. You could see where Mac got his strength and toughness. Her grey streaked hair was pulled back into a tight bun. She was dressed in a large faded flowered dress that hung loosely on her. She put her hand up to her eyes to shade them from the sun and said.
"What is going on...."
She looked at Tom and the Gunny in their uniforms. Then back at Tom, recognition slowly washed across her face.
"Are you Tom?" Her voice was soft.
"Yes ma'am."
"Did you bring my boy home?"
"Yes, ma'am. I did."
"Oh, baby. Come here. Thank you, Thank you for bringing my boy home."
With her arms wide she took Tom into her embrace. She held him as if he were her own child; with the same affection and love she must have given her own son. She rocked him gently. Tom seemed relax for the first time since Kate had seen him. The woman held him in her strong embrace, tears pouring down her face. Kate could not see Tom's face, but his shoulders were convulsing as if he were sobbing. They remained in the embrace for some time. No one said a word. You could see and feel Mac's loss without a need to talk. A boy had come home to his mother.
Chapter 17
As Kate stood and watched the two she knew this had to be a moment that Tom had dreaded through the past days. He could not have known how Mac's family would greet him and to have been so welcomed had to be a relief beyond her understanding. She watched with her heart as much as with her eyes as Mac's mother comforted Tom in their shared grief. This black woman who he did not know was giving him what she knew he needed, she was treating him as if he were own son who had just come home. Finally she let Tom go, with both of them wiping their eyes she said.
"Now you boys, stop this nonsense. This was Randy's best friend, and he has brought him home."
The young black men who had stood menacingly suddenly relaxed as if they had been given a command. Her old wise eyes took in Kate as she stood on the sidewalk by herself next to the Gunny.
"Now please who is this young lady?"
"This is Kate. I met her on the plane. I told her all about Mac. When she heard about him she wanted come with me. I hope you don't mind?"
Those eyes seemed to change when Tom explained.
"Of course not. Welcome honey."
"I am so very sorry about Mac. Are you sure you don't mind that I wanted come with Tom?"
"Of course not honey. If you are friend of Tommy's then you are welcome here. Everyone calls me Mama Mac. You and Tommy should too."
She looked at the Gunnery Sergeant and frowned. His black face remained a mask of military bearing under the gaze of a grieving mother.
"I am sorry for your loss ma'am," He said.
"You didn't do it. It was not the Marines that killed my boy it was that war. You are welcome here too."
She led them into the tiny house. It was immaculately but sparsely furnished with cheap furniture. There was a picture of Martin Luther King on the wall next to the boot camp portrait of Mac in dress blues. A picture of John Kennedy hung on the other wall. A small black and white TV stood in the corner of the living room on an old TV dinner tray. The house was filled with the smells of cooking. The dining room off the living room contained a table overflowing with fried chicken, greens, corn bread, sweet potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and a large pecan pie. Kate had not seen a spread like that since was a little girl when she and her mother went to her grandmother's house on Sundays.
"Everyone has been so nice. They all brought food when they came by. I have more food than I can eat, so help yourselves if you are hungry."
The black woman took Tom by the hand lead him to the small worn coach in the tiny living room. She pulled him down next to her.
"Please tell me about my boy."
Kate sat in a big worn wing chair across from them and watched Tom as he told Mama Mac stories about her son. It was obvious Tom was telling her stories that he hoped would give her some good memories of him in Vietnam. He told her about his throwing rocks the first night, and how mad he was. She laughed and the young men all murmured approval. He told her about they ham and mothers, and they all laughed so hard it brought tears. He told her stories until he seemed to run out of stories. Then he reached into his pocket pulled out a set of dog tags. Kate's breath caught in her throat, at the sight of something so personal; Mac was becoming more and more real to her, almost as real as Tom.
"This was his. He was wearing it when...he always wore it."
Mama Mac took it into the big strong work worn hand, and slowly closed it into a fist, then put her fist to her chest.
"Thank you. I can almost feel him."
Tom then took out a worn black braided bracelet from his pocket.
"Is Corner Boy here?" Tom asked.
A tall black kid stepped forward. He had the same Afro and sunglasses as the others.
"Mac asked me that should anything ever happened to him he wanted you to have this, and I was to tell you something. And he made me practice it a couple times. He said 'you are the only left now and it is up to you to make it out.' This bracelet is to remind you of him, and the fact that he did not make it out. He said that you have what it takes to do it, just don't forget where you came from."
Corner Boy took the bracelet and stared down at it in his hand.
"He was wearing it when he died."
Corner Boy closed his fist, turned and walked outside. He stood away from everybody his head down. Mama Mac wiped her eyes and said.
"Enough of this for now. You two must be starving, now come on in here, and get some of this good soul food." Then she looked at Gunnery Sergeant. "You are welcome too; now come on in here for some good home cooking."
"Thank you for you hospitality," the Gunnery Sergeant said.
They followed Mama Mac into the dining room and soon returned with plates full of fried chicken, greens and macaroni and cheese for them all. Tom sat beside Kate and they all dug in.
"I didn't take you for someone who likes soul food," Mama Mac said as she watched Kate attack the fried chicken with relish.
"I am originally from the South. This is home cooking to me."
"Good. Then you just eat as much as you want. Don't be shy about seconds."
Mama Mac smiled as she watched them eat, obviously taking some comfort in their enjoyment of the food. Kate devoured the first plate then got another. She had not eaten food like this since she was a girl visiting her grandmother. She always had huge dinners when the visited. Dinners just like this one. She and her mother and father would go every Sunday and on the big holidays. It had always made her feel safe and warm and loved. Now as she sat in a tiny house in Watts she felt the same feelings washing over her. She was not sure if just the food bringing back the feelings or the combination of the food from her childhood and the love she felt from this woman through out her home. Tom too was devouring his food as if he had not eaten in a week. Mama Mac hovered over them and kept them supplied with sweet tea and corn bread. They both ate until they were more than stuffed.
Chapter 18
They were finishing the last morsels on their plates when Mama Mac said.
"Now you two go on out into the living room while I clean up."
"Please let me help." Kate said standing and gathering up plates.
The Gunnery Sergea
nt who was finishing his own plate said.
"You two go on I will help Mrs. McClendon."
"Thank you Mama Mac." Tom said. He had been very quite during the dinner.
"No need to thank me child. Now you go on out there with Kate. I will be there soon."
Tom followed Kate into the living room and they sat on the worn coach next to one another. Tom pulled out his cigarettes and offered her one. He lit hers then his. They sat there silently for some minutes. Kate could see the fatigue begin to change his face. It softened. As he sat there his eyes began to close, like those of child after a long day. Kate pulled his head down on her shoulder and he was soon asleep. She eased his head down into her lap. She sat there stroking his hair. He looked peaceful for the first time since she had met him. Asleep he looked so young. It was hard to believe this was the same man who faced the war and killed other men. He looked so untouched by it all when he was asleep. She watched him sleep and felt as if she was giving him something, something she had never given someone before. It was a very strange feeling.
Kate sat there for some time simply stroking his hair with no need to do anything else. As Mama Mac and the Gunnery Sergeant cleaned up the dishes. She found comforting this young man deeply satisfying. She was still sitting there stroking his hair watching him sleep, when Mama Mac came back into the living room.
"He is sleeping like a baby," Kate said.
"He is a baby. They all are. Just like my Randy."
Mama Mac reached for a pillow on a chair, and gave it to Kate for his head. The Gunnery Sergeant came back in and saw Tom sleeping. He had been talking to Mama Mac about the details of tomorrow's funeral in the small dining room.
"He can sleep here tonight." Mama Mac said. "You can pick us both up in the morning."
"Will do. Are you ready Miss?"
Kate looked down at Tom sleeping so peacefully. She did not want to leave him nor did she want to leave this house. There was comfort here in spite of the sadness. A comfort she had not felt in a very long time and she found herself wanting to be here if Tom needed comforting. She wanted to stay.
"No I'm not. Do you have room for one more Mama Mac?"
"Of course I do dear. It won't be fancy but I can certainly make you comfortable."
"What about your friend at the airport?"
"I will give him a call, and let him know I am staying here tonight. Thank you Gunny."
The Gunnery Sergeants wizened black face broke into the closest thing to a smile Kate had seen.
"Good. Then I will pick all of you up here in the morning around zero nine hundred... I mean nine o'clock and take you to church."
Chapter 19
Mama Mac walked the Gunny to the car and then came back into the house. She looked at Kate and Tom for a long moment then said.
"Darlin' why don't you come on out on the porch with me for a few minutes."
"Can I use your phone to call my friend before I join you."
"Certainly child, its in the hall there."
Kate carefully extracted herself from under Tom and stood. She found the phone in the hall.
"Jack."
"I was beginning to get worried about you. Where are you?"
"I am going to stay at Mac mother's house and go to the funeral in the morning with Tom."
There was a long silence on the other end of the phone.
"Are you sure you know what you are doing?"
"No. I am not. But it is what I want to do and I think it will help Tom get through all of this."
"Ok but call if you need anything. I've got a script meeting early and will be gone when you get here. See you tomorrow night. Love you sweetie.'
"Love you too babe."
Kate walked out on the porch. It was a wonderful night. Cool with just the hint of a breeze, a perfect Southern California night. Mama Mac was sitting on a swing with a cigarette.
"Can I have one of those?" Kate asked.
"Sure darlin."
Kate lit her own and sat on an old lawn chair with a worn cushion on it.
"Thank you for everything Mama Mac."
"Your quite welcome child. Helps me take my mind off of things."
That sat there smoking for some time before Mama Mac broke the silence.
"What are you doing with that boy in there?"
"What?"
"Child I may not live in Beverly Hills, but I do look at the fashion magazines in the beauty parlor. I recognized you the minute you walked in. What are you doing with that boy in there?"
"I don't know. I just met him on the plane. We talked and I well ended up here."
"Honey, that boy was my boy's best friend. Randy wrote to me about him all the time. He loved him like a brother."
"But I haven't done anything. I mean. I.."
"Honey, you know the way he looks at you. You know the effect you have on men, much less some boy just back from the jungles of Vietnam. When this is over, he is going to have to go back over there. He is going to have to survive six more months. Are you going to be with him or is he just something to pass the time?"
"I am not with him, but he is not something to pass the time. That is not fair. I didn't have to talk to him, or take care of him. I like him."
Mama Mac just stared at her for a moment.
"I didn't have to talk to him? I didn't have to take care of him?" Mama Mac said her voice hard.
"I didn't mean it that way."
"Darlin' that boy in there don't need no takin' care of. Randy wrote me all about him, he can take care of himself and then some, but someone like you now that's a different story. Somebody like you can tear a boy like that up if she wants to or if she is careless. So you think about what you are about with this boy. You better think about it, or you are going to end up hurting that boy, weather you mean to or not. So you need to decide."
Kate did not know what to say. She had not thought through any of this. Everything had happened so fast. Mama Mac crushed out her cigarette and stood up. When she stood she seemed to be carrying the weight of the world on her broad back.
"I need my sleep. I have to bury my boy tomorrow."
Mama Mac stopped with door open she said. Kate looked up at the large black woman.
"You hurt that boy, and you'll have me to answer to."
Wearily she walked into the house, the screen door slamming behind her. Marvin Gaye was on the radio singing 'I Heard it Through the Grapevine'.
Kate sat there smoking trying to make some sort of sense of the events of the last twenty-four hours. It was a beautiful LA night. Kate began to wish she had not met Tom, and was not going to be a part of Mac's funeral tomorrow. She could have been with Jack at the Brown Derby, having dinner to celebrate the wrapping of her first film. Instead she was sitting on a porch in Watts with a very difficult funeral to attend.
What was she doing here with this boy she barely knew, in the middle of Watts? She had not thought any of this through. It had started out just being friendly to a nice quiet guy. She knew it was more than that now but she didn't know what it really was yet. She had simply followed her instincts, without ever considering just how it might seem to him. Just as Mama Mac had said, she was well aware of her effect on men, and since Billy she had used as much as she could. She had found that she did have a weapon in her looks, and if she used it first then it gave her the edge. Instead of being the victim she could be the predator choosing her battles on her own terms. She was in a rough game in L.A. and she needed every edge she could get to survive. It had served her well.
She had not trusted any man except Jack since Billy Bob, but the usual walls she put up never went up with Tom. She had never even thought of putting them up. She had simply wanted to help. He was such a dichotomy a boy warrior never asking for help, yet she felt the need to take care of him. She had never felt that way about a man before. Maybe that was all there needed to be to it for now. Maybe for once she would just relax and see what happened. She didn't know if that was the right answer, but it was
the only one she had for now. She finished her cigarette and went into the house.
Tom was sound asleep on the coach. Mama Mac had taken his uniform off. His bare feet just out from under an old blanket. He turned in his sleep exposing his bare chest, a set of dog tags with black tape around the edges slid into view. Somehow they made him seem more like a Marine than even his uniform. They were so personal like her jewelry; they were a Marine's jewelry. Mama Mac came of the bathroom in an old worn red robe.
"There you are honey. You can sleep in here. It was Randy's room."
"I couldn't"
"Shhhh. Randy would have wanted it that way. When you get undressed, you hand your dress and things to me, and I'll wash and iron them in the morning."
"Mama Mac that is too much."
"Honey, Tommy needed his uniform done, and I'll be up at five anyway. That's when I wake up; it'll be no trouble. Besides it'll give me something to do to keep my mind off things."
"I can't thank you enough."
"You can thank me by remembering what I said tonight."
She looked Mama Mac in the eye and said. "Deal."
"Good now get in there and get some sleep. It is going to be a long day tomorrow."
Mama Mac had made up bed in Randy's room. The walls were covered with the usual mementos of high school, football and basketball clippings of Randy from the newspaper, a prom picture of Randy with a pretty black girl. Another picture of Randy in his uniform, in front of the tiny house with his arm around Mama Mac. The room was so full of memories, that Kate could almost feel him in the room. She quickly took off her dress, bra and panties, slipped into the old robe and t-shirt that must have been Mac's that had been laid out her. She handed her clothes out to Mama Mac.
The window was open and the cool night air blew in through the open window. A car went by with the radio blaring, but as soon as it was gone it was became quite again. Lying there in a room surrounded by the memories of a young dead black man, Kate began to fill out Tom's life in her imagination. As she fell asleep she could almost picture Tom's room in his home, his memories covering the walls in pictures and objects. Not the young Marine she knew, but the high school kid who surfed before he went to war. She could almost picture him, in high school. It was a nice picture. Before she knew it she was asleep.
