by Rod Carstens
Chapter 20
The smell of bacon and eggs woke Kate. Before she was fully awake she thought she was a child again, waking in her grandmother's house. She almost reached for Blackie her grandmother's dog that would always sleep by her bed. Then she saw where she was in Mac's room and yesterday and last night all came back in a rush, but it did not lessen her feelings of home and safety. It was very strange experience to feel so at home and relaxed in a black woman's house in Watts. She knew it came from the love and strength of the woman who was this house. It made the day ahead even sadder than it had the night before if that was possible. Mac had grown up with this much love in his life; in a way she envied him. To know he had this safe haven from the world must have been comforting even in Vietnam.
Her little black dress, bra and panties were laid out on the bed. They had been washed, pressed and neatly folded. She looked at her watch it was after almost eight. She needed to get going. She grabbed Mama Mac's bathrobe it went around her twice. She padded barefoot into the small kitchen holding the robe around her. It was filled with the smells of strong coffee, and breakfast cooking. Tom sat there in his uniform eating a large plate of eggs and bacon.
"Morning." Tom said.
Kate watched Tom closely. He was wound up again, maybe more than the night before. This was going to be a difficult day for him. She put her hand on his strong shoulder and said.
"Morning there cowboy. You doing all right?"
"Yeah fine." Tom said.
Kate could hear the tension in his voice. She wished she believed him, she thought he was trying to convince himself as he was her.
She sat next to Tom and poured herself a cup of coffee from the steaming pot on the table.
"Morning child." Mama Mac said. "Did you sleep well?"
"Like a rock."
"Do you want a plate before you shower?"
"Please that would be wonderful."
Mama Mac put a large plate of eggs and bacon front of her. As she ate she kept glancing at Tom. The closer she watched him the more he did not look good. There was a tightness at the corners of his mouth as if he working to control himself. Kate put her hand on his arm.
"Tom, are you all right?"
"Yeah, yeah. I told you I'm fine." Tom said.
Then turning to the kitchen he said.
"Mama Mac is Corner Boy around. Mac, I mean Randy asked me to tell him something."
"Sure he and a couple of the other boys are on the porch."
Tom picked up his plate and cup and took them to the sink.
"Thanks again Mama Mac."
Tom hurried out of the room. Kate looked at Mama Mac and they exchanged a concerned look.
"Should I go out and see if I can help?"
Mama Mac hesitated as she watched Tom on the porch with Corner Boy.
"No, honey. Just leave him alone for a while."
Kate finished her breakfast and took the plates to the sink. Through a small widow over the sink, she could see the backyard. Tom and Corner Boy were standing beside the one car garage in back of the house. They were exchanging a joint. They finished it and then shook hands. She could see Tom say thanks. They walked back to the house together.
Kate showered and pulled her hair back into a tight bun. She carefully applied just a little make-up. Then pulled on her black dress. It was as close as she could come to looking like she was dressed for a funeral and not a party at the Brown Derby. She looked at herself in the mirror and was glad again she had grabbed what she called her Audrey Hepburn dress instead of the pink mini skirt she had almost worn. She found Mama Mac sitting in her tiny immaculate living room by herself. She was dressed in her best black dress, her grey hair carefully done. When Kate walked in she looked up and said.
"There you are. It's almost time. Would you walk outside with me?" Mama Mac said.
"Of course."
Mama Mac for all her strength leaned on Kate, as they walked to the front door. Kate felt her loss. It was as if it had taken away her ability to walk. Kate took her work worn hand in her's and led her to the front door. She felt as if she was giving Mama Mac the strength she needed to simply move.
CHAPTER 21
Tom was standing with the other young men on the sidewalk in front of the house. He stood out in his tan uniform among the other young men in civilian finest. Seeing Mama Mac and Kate emerge from the house he came to the other side of the large black woman and offered her his arm. They walked out onto the front porch, to wait for the government car. At exactly nine the government car drove up with the Gunnery Sergeant at the wheel.
The Gunny immediately jumped out of the car opened back passenger side door for them. He stood almost attention waiting patiently for them; he looked as if he was willing to waiting patiently standing there without moving for as long Mama Mac needed. He was dressed in Marine Corp dress blues with full medals. His shoes gleamed; his white belt, gloves and cover were immaculately white. With dark blue blouse with the high collar and lighter blue pants with the red strip down the leg, he represented the picture that Kate always had of the Marines. With Kate and Tom's help Mama Mac slowly walked down the two steps to sidewalk and slowly moved toward the car. With great effort she slid into the backseat and Kate slid next to her. Mama Mac immediately took her hand. They both sat there staring forward waiting. Once Mama Mac and Kate were in the back seat, the Gunny opened the door for Tom.
"Thanks Gunny."
"My privilege Marine."
Tom sat in the front seat with Gunny driving. Dozens of cars had lined the streets around the house as the black government car pulled away they followed it creating an impromptu caravan. The short drive to the church was a silent one. The Gunny again opened the door. Tom got out with the Gunny and came around stood by the rear passenger door. He helped Kate out and then Mama Mac. With Tom and Kate flanking her the Gunny lead them into the church. Once inside the small worn church the Gunny led them down the center isle past friends and relatives packing the pews. He seated them in the front row. Mama Mac then Tom and finally Kate on the end of the pew. The casket was only a few feet away. The lid was closed with an American flag draped over it. Two Marines stood at rigid attention at either end of the coffin. The preacher walked up to the pulpit.
Mama Mac began to silently cry. She clutched one of Tom's hands with both of hers. Kate glanced at Tom's face; it was frozen with all of the self-control he could possibly muster. He was doing everything he could not to cry. The hand that Mama Mac was clutching was white from her grip. Gently Kate took Tom's free hand in hers and placed her other hand on top of his. She squeezed his hand in support. He glanced down at her and returned the pressure of support. That is how they sat for the rest of the service.
Kate sat through the service without hearing it. The preacher said words that were meant to heal. There was singing and much praying. Yet she could not concentrate on the service. She kept looking at the coffin and thinking of the young, funny, tough young man that lay within it. She remembered the rock-throwing incident and how he hated ham and mothers and all of the other stories Tom had told her on the plane. She thought of the prom picture with the pretty girl in his room and his football clippings, they mixed together with the war stories, and suddenly Mac was very real even though she had never known him.
Then it struck her that this was what Tom's funeral would look like. It would be much the same; only the people in the pews would be different. The Marines would be there and the grieving mother. It would all be the same. She had the strangest feeling that she was seeing the future. She almost physically shook herself to rid her mind of the thought. She gently stroked Tom's strong tanned hand to reassure herself that it was only her imagination and not the future. Nothing could happen to someone as strong and tough Tom.
At end of the ceremony the Marine pallbearers came forward. In a series of perfectly timed, slow, and choreographed movements they picked up Mac's coffin. They moved in precise unison down the isle of the church and out the door. Then th
e pallbearers moved to the back of the hearse, and carefully slipped his coffin into rear of the vehicle, and closed the door. Once again Tom, Kate and Mama Mac were escorted to the black government car by the Gunnery Sergeant.
It was a short and silent ride to the cemetery. Mama Mac cried silently, with Tom next to her holding her hand. This time Kate sat in the front with Gunny. He drove looking straight ahead as stiff and formal, as the Marines who had carried Mac to the hearse. Through the ceremony at graveside Kate was struck how young the Marines looked. The men who carried the coffin, Tom, they all were so young. They were the age of many of her friends, but they were so different in ways Kate could not put into words. She was startled out of reverie by the rifle salute. Each of the salvos made her jump. The Marines then took the flag off the casket, and folded it with the same practiced precision they had moved casket. The officer she had met at the airport presented the folded flag to Mama Mac. He whispered a solemn well-practiced speech to her. She accepted the flag and hugged it to her as if it were an infant.
The officer stood and slowly and rigidly saluted her. Then it was over. A young man was dead and buried. Tom walked over to the Marine Officer.
"Sir, I just wanted to say thanks again for the airport and for this."
"Corporal it was my privilege. You both have served with distinction."
Tom smiled a crooked smile.
"Mac would gotten a kick out of that sir. Thank you."
"Corporal I am one officer who knows who gets the job done. It is young men like you and your friend. I am lucky to lead young men like yourself and your friend."
Tom saw the Officer was genuine in his praise. Without thinking he came to attention and slowly brought his hand up in a salute. The officer returned it as sharply as it was given.
"Take care of yourself Corporal."
"You too sir. Wish there were more officers like you around."
The officer seemed to take a great deal of pleasure in what Tom said and gave him a crisp nod walked away.
Tom returned to the graveside and sat next to Mama Mac. Slowly everyone began to drift away. Kate and Tom sat with Mama Mac alone by the graveside. The Gunny stood behind them rigid and patient as a statue at the car. When she was finally ready to leave they took her to the car and the Gunny drove them back to the house. Mama Mac seemed to have shrunk with the weight of her loss as she slowly walked up to her tiny house. Wearily she lifted each leg up the front steps as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. She turned and sat on small couch on the porch the flag clutched to her breasts.
"Thanks for everything Gunny," Tom said.
"It was my privilege. When do you head back?"
"Couple weeks and some."
"You take care of yourself Marine. You keep your ass down there corporal."
"Roger that." Tom said with a crooked smile.
There was a moment of silence as they shared what that meant. Kate knew she could not completely understand.
"Nice to have met you Kate. It was a good thing you did today. I speak for the Marine Corps when I say thank you."
"Your welcome sergeant." Kate said. She was filled with a sudden feeling of real appreciation from someone that went deeper than her looks or who she knew. Without thinking she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. For the first time she saw his stern demeanor break and he smiled. The Gunny turned, slid into the car and drove away. They walked back to porch.
"Mama Mac what do you need?" Tom said.
"I don't need anything child. Thank you for asking."
She paused and looked at Tom then Kate as if she were seeing them for the first time today and said.
"No that is not true, I need you two to do something for me. Will you do it?"
"Of course Mama Mac whatever you need?"
"You got to promise me. Both of you."
"Of course Mama Mac. Anything." Kate said.
"Well then I need you two to go and spent the little time you have left before Tom has to go back to Vietnam celebrating the fact that you are alive."
"Mama.." Tom started.
"No. You helped, you have no idea how much you helped but I have my Randy now." She hugged the flag closer. "You did what you promised him. There are not many people who would have. Now go on and...," She paused before she said with a fierceness that came from a life lived with little easy in it. "Live. Do you understand; live for yourself and for my Randy."
Tom went up on the porch and kissed Mama Mac and she held him tightly for a long time. She motioned for Kate to come up. She hugged Kate tightly and whispered.
"You take care of him. Do you understand?"
"I will Mama Mac."
"Remember what I said to you."
Kate nodded and walked down the steps to stand next to Tom.
"Can I come back to see you before I go back?" Tom said.
"Oh, course child. You will always be welcome here."
Mama Mac glanced over at Corner Boy, who had been standing in the yard with a knot of friends.
"Jimmy, you take them where they need to go."
"Yes, Mama Mac." Corner Boy said.
Kate took Tom's hand and led him to the car. He seemed almost in a daze. It was over and he was finished with what he had promised Mac. He had nothing left to do and so he had no real purpose. Kate took him to the car. They got into Corner Boy's pimped out ride.
"Where to?"
Kate told him the address.
"Jesus, are you kidding?"
"Why?" Tom asked.
"That's out in Malibu, on the beach."
"Jack said we could use the beach house."
As the drove through L.A. traffic Kate said.
"Could I get a little of what you and Corner Boy had this morning. I need little something."
Corner Boy and Tom exchanged a glance. Tom nodded that it was all right. Corner Boy pulled out a bag of joints and they all shared one as Corner Boy drove.
"I wasn't going to make it through the funeral without a little help." Tom said.
CHAPTER 22
Jack’s Beach House
Malibu, California
1968
Corner Boy pulled to a stop in front of the address Kate had given him, The front of the house was half hidden by large bushes, three large fine wooden doors that were obviously garage doors were the first things he noticed. He had never seen garage doors that nice, above the doors we a small balcony with two large windows with the blinds down. He could hear the sound of the surf so the house must be right on the beach. Without seeing any more of the house Tom knew it was nicer than anything he had ever seen or been in before. A house this large right on Malibu beach it had to be worth a fortune.
"Thanks Corner Boy." Kate said.
Tom stood staring at the house trying to once again switch his senses to accept another almost other worldly place when he heard Kate say behind him.
"Tom?" Kate said.
Her voice snapped Tom out of his reverie.
"Oh, sorry. Thanks man for everything."
"No sweat. Any friend of Mac is a bro. Take care of yourself."
"You remember what Mac said. He did not want you ending up the way he did. He said you had what it took to make it out. He told me to tell you to do it for him."
"Thanks man. I will remember."
Tom reached over and shook his hand then held it to make sure Corner Boy listened.
"No man it wasn't him just saying that. Mac told me all about you. How you get great grades without trying. How you could be in college right now but you keep listening to those other guys. Mac said they are never going to be anything but guys from the Hood. He said to tell you; fuck those guys. Be yourself cause that all you've got. He said none of those guys have the balls to go to college but you do and if you didn't do it for yourself do it for him."
They just stared at one another, as Corner Boy took all that Tom had said.
"Listen man, a better man than you or I will ever be had faith in you and saw something
no one else did. He was wearing that bracelet when he died. Do not let him down. You find the courage to do what you have to do. He did everyday I knew him and he knew you could too." Tom said.
Corner Boy stared for a long moment and said.
"Thanks man." Corner Boy said.
"Don't thank me just do the deed man. Get it done."
"I will." Then with more conviction he said. "You bet your ass I will."
"Good. Take care dude."
Corner Boy drove off. Tom let Kate lead him down a behind the huge bushes to the front door.
"Jack claims they give him some privacy. I think they look like overgrown bushes."
Kate used her key and took him in the front door. They walked through the huge front door and down a short hall. Kate was shaking her hair out of the tight bun she had put it in for the funeral and dropped her purse on a table at the end of the hallway. Then disappeared into the room at the end of the hall.
Tom was still taking in the inside of the house. The foyer and walls were covered with pictures of Jack with various movie stars. There was Jack smiling with his arm around Ann Margaret, Jack with John Wayne and a short old looking guy with an eye patch, Jack laughing with James Dean. There was a picture of Jack and Kate with Faye Dunaway on the set of the movie Tom had just seen. There were many others, with people Tom vaguely recognized. Jack seemed to know almost everybody in Hollywood. He stepped out of the hall into a large living room that faced the ocean. The living room was huge with a semi-circular leather couch facing a fireplace with a huge console TV arranged so you could sit on the couch and enjoy both. Framed movie posters hung on the wall and some had signatures on them. To his right was a large kitchen with a counter with three stools. It had built in stove and ovens. Just off the kitchen was a small nook with a small table and chairs next to floor to ceiling windows. To his left was a full bar like you would see in a real tavern with a foot rail and shelves filled with bottles of liquor and glasses. It too had stools so you could sit at the counter and have a drink just like in a real bar.
