The Ride

by Jaci J

  Sitting on a sun lounger I'm trying to finally relax. Lil and Peaches have had me and Gin running around like idiots. First these girls wanted to swim, so we swam. They then wanted to play volley ball. So we played. You got any idea how fucking hard it is to play anything, let alone a sport I know shit about with Lil jumping around in that tiny ass bikini? No? Well it isn’t fucking easy let me tell you. I had to regularly glance at Gin's ugly mug to tame my raging hard on. Yeah it was like being fifteen all over again. Lil then wanted to swim again. Then she was hungry. Swam again. I made a fire. Yeah I'm running around like a fucking bitch and enjoying every sick sad minute of it. The measures a man will go to for some top notch pussy. “So ...” Lil says sitting down next to me. She put a little dress thing on. Thank God my dick can get a little rest now. “What's up baby?” I'm not sure I like where she's going with this. Her fingers are tapping on the arm of the lounger, she seems a little unsure. “Are you stayin' for dinner?” she asks me. Okay that's not what I was expecting. Since I walked through that fence earlier she hasn't brought up the other night. I know its coming. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. “You want me to, yeah?” I retort cautiously. She's either crazy or the most forgiving person I've met. I'm leaning towards the later. Those sweet fucking eyes tell me all I need to know. She looks at me like I've lost it. “Well of course. If you want to that is.” She's still looking at me strange. “What 'bout that shit the other night? We good now?” I just have to ask. I'm not pussy footing around this shit. I want this bitch and I'm not hiding it. No fucking point in pretending it never happened. Turning in her seat towards me she hits with that sweet smile. Innocent eyes and all. My heart hurts a little every time she looks at me like that. “Yeah. We're good.”

  Sitting around a fire out back the suns going down. Lil's sitting next to me on a bench. Little body pressed against mine. After our talk she seems even happier, smiling at me, laughing with me. Gin and Peaches are mauling each other next to us. Cali and Stitch are arguing about hot dogs. Happy and Mini are sitting together talking. Rampage is fucking with a few whores. A few of the other guys are around eating and bullshitting. I've never been around a girl who isn't just a club slut. With Lil it's different she's respected and loved. She knows what my life is like and it's fucking nice. There are no questions. No strange looks when I have to take off for no reason. No whining about it. She accepts it all with a smile. “Fuckin hell,” Gin barks. Standing up he looks at me with anger on his face. Fuck, that look is never a very good one. Standing up I fallow him a few feet away. Shoving his phone into his pocket he curses a few times. “Fuckin' Draco's got onto the property at the garage. Left Verna with the same message they left Lil.” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. My body tenses. Anger works its way back in. Terrible way to end a good day. “We leavin'?” Ready to ride out and blow some heads off. “Nah man. Low said me, you, and, Happy stick with the girls. They're gone for a day or so. Got leads.” Throwing my hands up I'm about to lose my shit when he adds, “Low said you're one of the only people he trusts with her life, well and me, but you know what I mean. Got Peaches ass to deal with any ways.” Well shit how in the fuck am I supposed to argue that? That motherfucker keeps making this shit hard for me. The need to go pumps in my veins. This shit's in my blood. It's what I do, but what about Lil. She needs me too. Looking over at her she smiles at me. I'm staying.

  Lil

  It's been a few days since the incident in Tanks room. That's what I'm calling it 'the incident'. I was mad as hell at first. Mad at him. That anger has slowly turned into annoyance. At first I was mad at him, but hell it wasn't just his fault. I threw myself at him. I never bothered to ask if he had a girlfriend or an old lady. And he is a man, what'd I except? I should have known better. The annoyance of the situation eating at me so I had to ask the girls. “Girl you know that bitch Bubbles ain't shit. Just some fuckin' club whore.” Peaches rants from the pools island. Her and Bubble have had some issues over Gin. Issues I don't even want to delve into, but clearly she's not a Bubbles fan. “Pretty sure she's fucked every brother. That pussy has been road hard n' put up wet. She ain't got shit on you,” Cali adds with a nod. Peaches agrees with an, “amen.” It's not that I think she's better than me. It just hurts that I threw myself at him, let him work me, and let shit get as far as it did all while he had a girl. I'm not that girl. I don't go around fucking other women's men. Not my style. “Girl just give him a chance. Tanks a good man. He wants you. It's all over that handsome face of his.” Peaches sports a wicked grin. I thought I did give him a chance? “Bubbles means nothin' to him. That bitch ain't his old lady. She ain't even a girlfriend,” Cali states firmly. “Tank is a good guy. Big ol' heart.” These girls know too much about club drama. “At least be friends with him. It's good to see him smile.” The girls continue their fifteen minute speech on all things Tank. Telling me how sweet he is. How sexy he is. How smart, and so on. How the hell am I supposed to stay mad at him when Peaches and Cali are spouting all kinds of nice things about him? They have a point, there's no point in causing more drama. Might as well be friends with the man, he isn't going anywhere and I'm here for a while. Friends it is.

  Being friends with Tank isn't as hard as I thought. All day we've gotten along. We just click. He's not like any of the guys. He's not completely hard and cold like my father. He's not creepy like King can be. And he's not goofy as hell like Gin and Happy. He's just different and I like it. Falling into this easy compatibility with each other. We always find something to talk about. We laugh together. He makes me feel safe and comfortable. Things are never strained between the two of us. The way he looks at me makes me feel special. He's still looking at me like he could eat me at any minute, but I'm not going to lie I kind of like it. Sitting around the fire the night has finally cooled off. I can feel the rain coming. There's a summer storm rolling our way. Leaning against Tanks side I feel comfortable, happy, and safe. My family here with me, things are good again. Gin pulls Tank aside and the look on Gin's face says whatever he's got to say isn't good. I've known him long enough to know when he's mad. After a few minute Tank storms back over to me. Standing over me, hands pulling at his hair. Jaw set into a hard line. Irritation bubbling from him. When he's mad, he's mad. There is no hiding it. “What's going on?” I ask him. I know it's none of my business, but I can't hold the question in. His expression concerns me. “Lock down,” he growls. Pulling his phone out of his pocket he dials, holding it to his ear. No need for further explanation, I know what's going on. “Ass inside now sweets,” he grumbles looking at me with a touch of soft in his eyes. His voice hard, but I see the sweet smile there. Nodding my head I walk towards the house. Peaches and Cali grumble, but fallow orders. “How bad?” I hear him bark into the phone before I'm too far away. Looking back up at me his eyes catch mine. For a very brief moment I can see the uncertainty, it passes morphing into anger. “It's that fuckin' bad.”

  Me and Peaches are huddled on the couch watching some bad TV. Cali's up stairs sleeping. Tank, Gin, Happy, and Stitch are pacing around the kitchen barking orders into their phones, making plans, and looking like they're ready to kill someone. Four angry as hell bikers a few feet away and there is nowhere safer in the world for me to be. “I've gotta pee,” Peaches announces getting off of the couch. It's crazy how after years we just fall back into our friendship. As if I never left. That's family. “Okay.” Out of the corner of my eye I see George shifting on the floor. Getting up and down, changing position. Poor dog probably has to go to the bathroom too. “Come on boys,” I call for them to fallow. Slipping on some shoes and a sweatshirt I head for the back door. The rain started an hour ago. It's coming down good. Might even flood if it doesn't let up. I have to walk into the rain; the boys won't go without me. Trained them to damn good. “Go pee George,” I tell him. Stopping his sniffing he looks up at me. Something in his eyes looks off. “What's up boy?” I ask him. Something changes. The hairs on my arms stand on end. The air shifts. Something feels wrong. Everything happens so f
ast. “I knew I'd find ya again princess,” a deep gruff voice teases from the darkness.

  Spinning around I'm knocked flat on my ass. The cold wet grass soaking into my clothes. A man in all black clothes and a black mask stands over me. Shotgun pointed at my face. “No,” I hear myself whisper. Maybe it's not me that said that. My heads swimming with panic. “Fuck!” The man roars in pain. That's when I see it. George's hanging from the man’s arm. Blood dripping from his mouth. With a swift kick he knocks George to the ground. A pained whine comes from him. No. No. No. Not my baby. Out of nowhere Lennie bolts towards the man. Focused on my boys I don't see it coming. I can feel something around my neck and everything goes black. I'm not out cold, because I can still hear everything. “Tank!” I hear myself scream. My throat feels tight and dry. Part of me wonders if I even said it aloud. My body shaking. It's either from the cold wetness or the adrenaline, but I'm not sure. “Tank!” God please Tank hear me. Gun fire erupts around me. “Lil!” I hear Tank call for me. Another loud pop and a dull thud lands a few feet from me. Oh no. Fuck. Getting up on my knees I feel around on the ground. Hands searching for something, anything. For a long agonizing minute all I feel is soaking wet grass and mud in my fingers. Finally my hand lands on something warm and …. furry. Oh fuck. Before I can lose it one of them licks my arm. He's alive. Feeling for a collar I feel the studded one. George. Oh thank God. Lennie saddles up next to me. Oh no Tank. My chest feels tight. Tears start to pool at my eyes. What happened to him? Please not Tank. “Tank?” I call for him. My voice shaky and scared. Why the fuck won't he answer me? Panic squeezing at my chest. George and Lennie are growling and snarling next to me. What the fuck is going on? My panic is rising by the minute. I wish I had a God damn light. “Lil, baby,” Tanks voice rings in my ear. My chest expands on a reviled sigh. Thank you God. “Baby,” his voice is weary. Shit, what's going on? “Lil, the dogs won't let us near you,” Tank says in a calm soothing voice. I can hear Peaches hollering from the house. I can't make out her words though. What does he mean the dogs won't let him near? “Just shoot ‘em,” I hear a voice I don't recognize say. “No!” I yell at whoever it is. Grabbing onto my boys I pull them to me. He shoots them he's going through me first. “Tank?” I call to him. “Shut the fuck up man.” Tank barks at whoever wants to hurt my boys. “Lil, its Gin. The dogs are protecting you sis.” His voice sounds a little jittery. “Lil get them to stand down so I can get to you,” Tank says with a pleading note to his voice. Urgency to his tone. My boys are protecting me. They won't take commands from anyone but me or my pops. Reaching a hand out to my boys I pat their heads lovingly. “Platz.”

  Tanks hands are on me in an instant. “Hold the fuck still angel,” he says impatiently. Tearing a cinched black bag from over my head. Finally I'm able to see a little. I can see Tanks rage filled face starring down at me, concern in his eyes. “Are you hurt anywhere?” His hands all over my body looking me over. Shaking my head I look him over. “Lil are you hurt?” He demands. His face serious. “No.” Looking at him I look for any sign of injury. Is he okay? Noticing me looking him over his lips tilt with a hint of a smile. “I'm good,” he assures me softly. Looking down I can see both boys by my feet, laying still and watching me. George has blood on his face. Reaching over to him I pull him closer. No injuries. My eyes find Gin. He's in one piece. Stitch's fine standing by the house, phone to his ear. One of the prospects standing by him, the asshole who wants to shoot my dogs. Turning around I find the source of the thud. The masked man is lying in a pool of blood not more than six feet away. Tank fallows my gaze. Pulling me up and into his chest he holds me tight against him. “Don't worry baby we've got this.” Well I didn't think it'd happen this soon, but not more than a month home I get to see my second dead body since coming back. Welcome home Lil. Pulling me away from him Tank looks at me like I've lost it. “What's so funny?” he asks. He must have felt my body shake with a laugh. “A dead body,” I mutter dryly. It's really not funny, but what the hell else am I going to do? Shaking his head at me, he hauls me into his side protectively. “We gotta go.”

  Tank has been sitting on my bed watching me for ten minutes now. Not letting me out of his sight. Arms folded in front of him. Hair a fucking mess. A face that needs a good shave. Sexy lips pressed into a hard line. Every step I take, ever drawer I open, every item I put into a bag he's watching. His face and body set into hard means lines. Nothing but hard mean biker sits on my bed. But in those blue eyes I can see it. Every emotion he doesn't want anyone to see, I can see. Inside he's beating himself up for letting that guy get anywhere near us, near me. He's scared for me. Part of him is unsure of how this is going to play out. On the outside he's nothing but calculated cold blooded killer. “You need some help sweets?” he asks gently, getting off of the bed. Looking around I wonder what else I should grab, but nothing comes to mind. “Do I need stuff like blankets or food?” I ask him completely unaware of where I'm going. That's the point. If I don't know then no one can get the information from me, because I truly don't know. That small smile touches his lips. “You bring what'll make ya comfortable, but no I'll take care of ya. Anythin' ya need I'll get it for ya.” Taking my bag from my hand he smiles reassuringly. It's a comforting and calming smile. Sometimes it's hard to believe that someone like Tank, someone like all the guys in this club can be such hard men. All drug runners. All arms dealers. All murders. These bad men are some of the most caring men around. Each one loves me in their own way. Grabbing my hand he leads me outside. “Come on let’s get your ass somewhere safe baby.”

  7

  Tank

  I can hear the water running in my bathroom. I know she's in there safe. One way in, one way out. My eyes trained right on that door. Gun in my lap. I'm still having a hard time shaking the fact that I damn near let that motherfucker take her out. I saw that shotgun pointed point blank. Saw how close I came to seeing a fucking hole blown into that pretty head of hers. That shit makes me fucking sick. Makes me want to kill somebody. That can never happen. Someone wants to get to her again I'll be dead and buried before it happens. Sitting in a chair in my room I watch the door. This whole 'giving a shit about someone other than yourself' thing has me thrown. I'll die from a stress induced heart attack before any motherfucker gets to her. The water shuts off. My heart starts that damn frantic beating. I just stare at the door like it's about to perform a fucking trick. Knee bouncing like I'm on something. Body antsy and humming. With a click the bathroom door opens. Out walks Lil. My fucking beauty. Little black spandex shorts on and a tiny white tee. Oh shoot me now, no bra. That outfit only slightly better than that bikini. Hair hanging down her back. Long and wet. Towel in her hand, smile on her face. Fucking perfect. “Well I'll leave you to it. I'll be on the couch,” she says heading for the door. Couch? Whoa, whoa. Not fucking happening. “You're in here,” I tell her nodding at the bed. I'm not having her out on the couch by the damn front door. She looks at the bed and then back at me. Shaking her head she backs towards the door. “No it's fine. I don't mind.” Too bad I do mind. Her ass is staying in here even if I have to tie her to the bed. Now that's a thought. “You're in the bed tonight. End of it,” I tell her sternly. I'm not arguing about this. She catches my drift. Good girl. Walking over to the bed she lifts the comforter. Holding it between two fingers like it might bite her. Turning around with a smirk on her lips she eyes me and then the bed. “Should I be concerned about what or who's been in these things?” she laughs wrinkling her nose in disgust. “Do they need to be disinfected? Maybe even burned?” Fuck. She thinks I just fuck any bitch in here? How wrong she is. Laughing I shake my head. “Nah, you're the only women who's been in there.” I tell her truthfully. Her eyes brows hit her hair line, eyes widen in surprise. Good God I'm not that big of a fucking slut. Plus what the hell does she think the club house is for? I've got a room there for a reason. “My mom, your mom, and now you are the only women who have ever been in my place.” I reassure her. A little baffled laugh escapes her lips. Sh
aking her head she looks totally shocked. Pointing at the bed I tell her, “enough talkin' get your sweet ass into bed baby.”

  My shower takes me five fucking minutes. Five minutes to long. Each second in here has me antsy and on edge. Should have had her come in here with me. I can't see her. I've no idea if someone got in and I can barely hear anything. Rinsing off and hoping into some shorts I'm out the door and into that room in record time. Sitting in the middle on my bed, my blankets a mess all around her. TV on, phone next to her, magazines around her, and a tub of ice cream in hand. She raided my freezer? Lil sitting in my bed hits me in right in chest. Like a fucking blow to the body knocking the wind out of me. Those innocent brown eyes find me. Beautiful lips break into a huge smile. All the shit I've been feeling for this girl hits me tenfold. It's crippling. Breath stealing. Heart breaking. “Night,” I mumble heading right for the door. I can't do this. I can't fucking do it. Can't stand here and look at her in my bed. “Tank?” That sweet voice I've grown to crave calls me back. Fucking crap. Turning around to her she still smiling at me. Patting the bed right where I sleep most nights she calls me over. “Watch a movie with me. I'll even let you pick,” she barters, offering me the remote. She doesn't want me to go? Hesitating I look for the right thing to do when I see that happy smile slip into a sad one. Fuck me. She doesn't want me to go. She needs me. “I'm mean … if … well if you're tired it's no biggie.” She shrugs one shoulder weakly. I know I should go out that door and take my ass to the couch. Leave the room. Leave her alone, but I can't. I can't make my feet move. I just can't let it go.