“And how will that work? What’s changed?” I brought up my knees and wrapped my arms around them.
“I’m willing to date you exclusively.”
“Why now? Because of Red?” I drank some coffee and waited for his response.
“Isn’t that what you’ve wanted from me?” he said as he furrowed his brow.
“That’s part of it. A bigger part is that you really want it and I don’t believe that you do. I think you’re scared of losing me and will say just about anything. I’m not saying you’re lying, maybe just desperate. I don’t even want you to try to change any more, because I already know how that ends up.”
“And how is that?”
“With me hurt and you apologizing.”
He stood and walked to the edge of the screen. “This is about Red, not about me. Like I said, I’m willing to try.”
“No Bond. This is about me and what I need. Maybe someday you’ll be ready to do and not just try. I sure hope so, because I truly want you to be happy.”
He turned to face me and said, “Do you plan to tell the group on Wednesday?”
“What do you want me to do?”
“I think you should tell them about you and Red and his horseshit plan. Did he somehow think I would be grateful because he’s willing to share? It’s an insult to both of us.”
“I’m not sure what we’ll do on Wednesday, honestly. It’s clear to me that you’re unwilling to date me while I date Red. I mean, I get it. I do think you’re being shortsighted and yet at the same time I think this will be good for us. You can find a woman who wants what you have to offer without me making it difficult and I’ll finally get to feel like I’m enough.”
“Jacqs, how many times do I have to tell you that it’s not you?”
“I get it Bond. It’s you. Maybe you’re not enough for me.”
“And Red is?”
“I guess we’re going to find out.” I stood and said, “After my shower, I’ll drop you off on my way to work. Thanks for making the coffee.”
Exhausted from the all the talking and lack of sleep, Bond and I didn’t speak on the way to his apartment. When he got out of my car, he said, “This conversation isn’t over.”
“It never is, is it?” I said through the passenger window before I pulled away.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Magic
by Colbie Caillat
My boss was ensconced in the office by the time I arrived.
“You look like hell,” he said as he strolled by my desk.
“Thanks so much,” I replied.
I had showered and threw my hair up in a twist. My eyes were red-rimmed so I hadn’t bothered with any makeup that might further irritate them. I thought my beige, low-slung pants and wild multi-colored chiffon blouse looked fetching given that they were my work attire. I was, however, sure I looked as exhausted as I felt.
Instead of packing lunch, I decided I would text Red when I got to the office and see if he was still interested in lunch.
Me: Made it to the office but I skipped breakfast and will be very hungry by lunch time. Hint hint!
Red: What time shall I pick you up?
Me: 12:30? I should probably warn you, my boss said I looked like hell.
Red: Duly noted. Did you get any sleep?
Me: Not much. I should run. I need to check in with the employment agency.
Red: I’ll let you go but I’m anxious to hear how it went with Bond.
Me: As you might imagine. Later. ♥
By twelve o’clock I had lined up three interviews for Thursday. Propped up on coffee and nothing else, I felt tired and jittery at the same time. Wishing I could crawl in bed and take a nap, I decided I needed a distraction to keep me up. I dialed my mother.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi Mom, how are you and Sarah?” I swiveled in my office chair as I held the phone to my ear.
“We are both doing great. How are you?”
“I have some news. I’ve given notice at my job and I’m starting at Burke and Associates in a couple of weeks.”
“I didn’t know you were looking.”
“It happened suddenly. A friend knew of a job opening and I interviewed for it. The money’s better and I get more paid vacation.”
“Oh, Jacqueline, that’s wonderful. I know you haven’t been thrilled with your new boss.”
“Thanks, Mom. I’m excited about it. Anything new with you?” I shifted some papers to the side and opened my computer.
“Samantha has been coming by almost daily to spend time with Sarah. And she hasn’t once asked for money.”
“That’s excellent news. Has she mentioned Darren?”
“No. She has never talked to me about the men in her life. She did say that she would need to find a new place to live soon and that she was looking for work.”
“That all sounds promising, but I don’t think we should get our hopes up.”
“I’ve been thinking about letting her move back here.”
I sat up straight and said, “That’s a big step. Is she going to meetings?”
“I haven’t asked. Would you consider asking Lainie to hire her? She’s great with clothes and people. I’m sure she could help with the window displays.”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I loved my mother dearly, but she had far more faith than I did of a possible transformation from Samantha. “I don’t know, Mom,” I said. “What if she steals from her or worse, lets her criminal boyfriend ransack the place?”
“Well, Jacqueline, if she moves here, she’ll be away from that man. You could let Lainie decide for herself.”
“I’ll think about it. I need to go in a few minutes,” I said, loading up my work email.
“Please consider calling your sister. She told me what happened between you and she would like to make amends.”
“I love you, Mom, and stay in touch.”
“I will sweetheart and I’m very happy for you. Take care.”
“You too,” I said and ended the call.
I poked my head in Henry’s office to let him know I would be gone for lunch. He just grunted at me. I popped into the bathroom to check my appearance and groaned. After removing the clip that kept my hair fastened, I smoothed it out around my face. It was a vast improvement.
I took the elevator downstairs and waited outside for Red. I felt antsy about seeing him again. Some of the things Bond said about him still bothered me.
He pulled up in his gargantuan SUV and stepped out of the vehicle. He looked very handsome in his gray slacks and a white collar button-down shirt. “Your boss doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about because you look good enough to eat.” He swept me up in a big hug and gently kissed me. “You taste good too.”
I quickly let go of his embrace and stepped back.
“Whoa, what’s going on here, Jacqs?”
“What do you mean?” I looked up at him, my arms hanging down by my sides.
“You seem different. Tell me what’s happened,” he said, touching my shoulder.
“I … I don’t know what to say.” I looked away.
“For us to work, you need to be honest with me.”
I glanced back at him and said, “Are you being honest with me? Bond said some things about you that has me thinking.”
“Like?”
“Well, he said that business of you not sleeping with women on the first date was a line you were using on me.”
“Some of his knowledge comes from when we were younger and we used to share a lot more about our conquests.”
“You really didn’t answer my question, Red. If you feel like I can’t handle it or you can’t be honest with—”
“Then let me be clear. I haven’t had sex since before you and Bond broke it off the last time. And I stopped sleeping with women on the first date years ago. It’s not like I discussed that change with Bond and I’m certain he’s not letting on to what he really knows. I won’t lie to you, I’ve enjoyed the fli
rting and meeting new women, but as I’ve gotten older, sex without connection has completely lost its appeal.”
“Oh. I don’t know what to say.”
“Trust takes time, I understand that. In the future, just check it out with me and I promise to be honest. I’m invested, Jacqs. I have no intention of lying to you or jeopardizing what we’ve—”
I threw myself into his arms. “I’m sorry, Red. I believe you. I’m just scared that what we have isn’t real and—”
He lifted me up onto the front of his car and cupped my face in his hands. “Trust in this.”
As he kissed me, I lost my fears and insecurities. I resolved to trust what I felt in his arms and not let Bond or anyone else taint my experience. After we had parted, I said, “I think you must be magic.” I beamed at him.
“How’s that?”
I breathed out a long sigh and said, “You’re willing to talk out anything with me and really hear me. Once I’m in your arms, all my stress melts away, and it all seems possible again.”
“This is happening, Jacqs. You and me. I want to hear the rest of what happened with Bond, but I have no doubts about us. My gut is telling me, he’ll come around. I’m sure it’ll have to be on his terms, when he’s ready.”
“Well at least one of us is positive about that.” I shimmied forward a bit and slid down to the ground with Red’s help. “Let’s get some food, I’m starved.”
“For such a little person, you do have a large appetite,” he said, twitching his eyebrows.
I laughed. “Well, with you I’m insatiable.”
He hoisted me into the passenger side and said, “That’s why you need to move in with me ASAP.” After closing my door, he strode around to the other side of the car and continued, “That way I can feed all your needs.”
“As enticing as that sounds, I believe we need to take things slowly.”
“I plan to change your mind about that and soon. So where to?”
“Red Thai and Sushi on Hollywood Boulevard? Do you know it?”
“I’ve never eaten there, but I’ve passed by it,” he said as he drove out of the parking lot. He reached over and took my hand in his.
I stared at his profile, feeling the warmth of his energy mixing with mine. Tears threatened to surface, but I held them back.
When he stopped for the red light, he glanced over and smiled. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I said quietly. “This might sound silly but I feel like part of a couple. I’ve only ever felt like this with Lainie. Wait, that didn’t come out right.”
“I get your meaning. It’s a first for me too.” He squeezed my hand and pulled through the intersection.
“Seriously? I mean, there have been others for you?”
“And you? Right?”
“Not like this.”
“Not even with Bond?”
“No, definitely not. We were a lot of things, but I never felt … I don’t know the right words.”
“Safe?”
“Yes, that’s part of it.”
“Connected?”
“I have felt … feel connected with him but not secure.” I watched the buildings pass by outside the window. “I’ve changed and I think you’re a big part of it.”
He parked in front of the restaurant, unbuckled his seat belt and faced me. “In what way?”
“I’m not afraid to say what I feel with you and it’s spilling over into my relationship with Bond. I’m not hiding anymore.”
“You never need to hide from me. I want the real you, Jacqs. All of you.”
“And yet you’re willing to share me with Bond.”
“That still needs to be sorted through. For this to work, our loyalties have to be with each other, first.”
“I won’t share you, Aidan.”
“Baby, I don’t want you to,” he said, touching my cheek. “We don’t have much time so let’s order lunch and continue talking. I want to hear all about what Bond had to say.”
“Okay.”
He helped me down out of his car and we walked hand and hand into the restaurant.
The Red Thai happened to be one of my favorite eateries. The yellow walls, warm dark wood flooring, elegant red decorative tapestries, gold laughing Buddha and the beaded drapes exemplified Thailand. The full-bodied aromas of varying Thai cuisine filled the air. The hostess immediately greeted us and escorted us to our table.
“I liked it when you called me Aidan. That was a first,” Red said, taking both my hands in his.
“I didn’t know your name until I meet Ted.”
“Really? Well, that makes sense. Bond’s been calling me Red for such a long time.” He rubbed his thumb across the outside of my hand.
“Yeah and I didn’t know your last name until I arrived at the job interview and saw the marquee. Aidan Burke … I like it.”
“I know your last name. It’s Worth, right?”
“Yes, how did you—”
The server brought to the table tea, water and soup. “Are you ready to order?” she asked.
“Jacqs?”
“I’ll have the Pad Woo Sen, two stars, and thanks.”
“Red curry, four stars with shrimp for me, and I’ll have a Thai coffee too. Thank you.” After the waitress stepped away, he said, “I’ve made it a point to know everything about you.”
“Apparently. You continue to surprise me. I guess I didn’t know the real you. Based on the things that Bond has said about you, does he even know the real you?”
“He knows me better than anyone. We’ve been through a lot together. What else did he have to say?”
“He said he would never consider sharing me and that I should stop seeing you and give him another chance. He also said that you crossed a line with him and that there was no going back. He thought I got involved with you to get his attention.”
“Sounds similar to our conversation.”
“He wants to keep seeing me but according to him, never plans to speak to you again.” A knot synched in my stomach when I remembered what I had done with Bond. I sipped a couple spoons full of soup in an attempt to calm down.
“Your energy has shifted again. What is it?”
“We fooled around … well sort of … but—” I peered up and saw his cheeks and ears redden.
We sat in silence and I could hear my pulse pounding in my head.
“Tell me,” he said.
“He kissed me at first and I stopped him. We never discussed the rules of how this all would work and I said as much but then—”
“Then?” He stared at me with his green eyes and I could have sworn they became a shade darker.
“I … we … he fondled my breasts—”
“Did you fuck him?” His gruff voice scared me.
“No … no … no one orgasmed and I stopped him because he started talking about you and I didn’t know what was allowed and he pissed me off and this whole situation is confusing the hell out of me.”
Red drummed his fingers against the table as I waited for him to speak.
The server came back to fill our water glasses and clear our bowls. I took a sip of tea, hoping to settle my nerves.
He moved his chair from across the table to cattycorner to mine. Grabbing my hand, he forcefully placed it over the zipper of his pants so I could feel his erection. He whispered in my ear, “I owe you a spanking, Jacqs. Do you understand me?”
I looked into his dilated eyes and said, “Yesss.” I felt his accelerated breathing against my neck and ear.
“Did you let him touch your pussy?” he said as he rubbed my hand over his cock.
“Red,” I moaned, trying to pull my hand away.
“Answer me,” he demanded.
“Yes.”
“Did you get wet for him like you do for me?”
“Please!” I pleaded. I scanned the restaurant to see if anyone was watching us. “What the fuck is up with you guys and women getting wet.”
“Not women, Jacqs. You. Tell me,” h
e whispered, feeding his free hand up the back of my hair and twisting it slightly.
“Yes, and that’s exactly what he asked me about you, if you make me wet like he does. What the hell is it with you alpha men? Anyway, that’s when I stopped everything,” I said, feeling scared and aroused at the same time.
He crushed his mouth against mine and I groaned out loud. “You’re coming over after work and we’re going to settle this.” He moved his chair back to the other side.
I put my hands on the edge of the table, leaned forward and said, “I … um Red … are you angry?”
“We need to establish some rules here,” he said in his normal voice. “Moving forward you need my permission to fuck Bond. Is that clear?”
“Yes, I think you’ve made that perfectly clear,” I said in a curt voice.
“Are you giving attitude? Don’t make me come back around the table,” he said with a smile.
I laughed at his expression. “Don’t expect that to change.”
He laughed with me. “I have no delusions on that front.”
“Seriously though, it will help if we establish how it’s going to work between us all. That is if Bond ever does come around to the idea.”
The waitress approached the table with our entrees and Red’s coffee.
After eating a couple of bites of my meal, I said, “Bond thinks we should tell everyone on Wednesday.”
“We should wait. You know Bond, he’s going to take a couple of days and then it will be like it was his idea all along.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
“Trust me on this. I’ve known this guy a long time. He’ll never give you up. In spite of everything that’s gone on, he’s in love with you. He just doesn’t want to take the risk of commitment.”
“Because of the accident?” I no longer felt like eating.
“Yes. How would you feel?”
“Yeah, I get it. Did you know her?”
“Yes, I knew her well. I expected them to settle down and start a family.”
“I can’t imagine Bond with children.”
“He’s a different man now.” Red ate a few more bites before taking my hand again. “I want you to know something. I’m dead in love with you, and I want you to think about that and really take it in.”
Stuck in Between (Bound by Your Love) Page 19
