Gravity

by Amanda Miga

  "Maybe there's something else Dash could do." He leans closer to her. "He could touch some of Red's things. Maybe he could get a feel for something."

  That's what I said. I purse my lips.

  Alex is too close, whispering "its okay" into her ear.

  I could've done that. I grind his teeth.

  Alex is one of those guys that charm girls and somehow their ears miraculously can hear again. His hand inches closer to her thigh and his eyes capture her attention. "We haven't been here long. It's just the first day."

  The way he's acting sensitive makes me sick. Violet looks like she's about to melt into his arms. Telling from his open sitting position he's counting on it.

  You must practice a lot.

  Alex ignores my poor attempt to insult him and continues swaying Violet as if I'm not even there.

  "I'm sorry it's just I don't know what to do next. I have you all here but..."

  "It's okay." Alex says. "We'll find something to work off of. He's got plenty of stuff that's for sure. There's got to be something, right? Its obvious Red has a lot of faith in us to work this out. We'll find him."

  The way Alex says that, I feel he's sincere. But I hate that she is comforted by him. It could've been me comforting her, but I'm too awkward. Alex inches closer while his greedy eyes take her in.

  "I thought with the three of you, Dash would be the first to find something. I figured with all that he can see, he'd find something."

  My shoulders slump and my hands start to sweat in my pockets. She's counting on me. The weight of the task before me is bearing down now. How can I help her? I glance at the map. She was so looking forward to me finding something. The marks on it aren't meaningless like I had told her. It meant something. Like everything I see in that cabin I have no idea what it all adds up to. She's waiting on me. Red is waiting on me. Maybe I don't know anything. I don't know why Red chose someone so stupid to help someone so wonderful. I'm useless to her. I'm useless. Useless. Useless. Useless...

  Dash? Alex's voice breaks my spell.

  "What?" I open my eyes. Violet is across the room picking up a framed picture of an owl that looks like it had fallen from the wall. It resembles the same owl I drew in school the day I made the windows shatter.

  "You made everything on the walls shake." Alex’s brow wrinkles. "It was creepy dude. Seriously it was like Carrie up in here."

  "Are you okay, Dash?" Violet approach cautiously. She instinctively reaches out to console me, but a thought must have interfered as she retracts her hand. I don't feel worthy of her sympathy anyway. She doesn't have to worry about me. She has Red to worry about. I only add to her worries with my incompetence.

  "I'm okay," I say softly.

  "Does that happen often?" She asks gently as if I'm growling dog.

  I'm still. I'm unable to speak, wanting to tell her Yes, it happens often. It’s worst when I'm upset. Things fall, crack and fling across rooms, but all I say is, "Not really."

  Alex’s brow creases. I forgot he can hear.

  I can’t look at her pretty face when I lie. How could I? I broke one of Red's pictures. I don't want to burden her with my problems. I'm supposed to be a chosen Hybrid. I'm supposed to be special. I'm not.

  "I'll fix the picture." I stare at my sneakers.

  "I'm worried about you, Dash. Are you really okay?"

  No. I don't want to talk about it. "Don't worry about me." My eyes harden to keep from crying.

  "Hey, Vi let's give Dash a few.” He nods at me. “Maybe he could pick up something in the room. I bet he's more focused when he's doing his thing alone."

  I nod back appreciatively. I need to get my bearings.

  Thanks.

  No problem. Violet doesn't care about the picture, so no worries.

  The tension eases as they leave the room. Alex reminds me as he closes the door; remember you're not doing this alone.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Gabriel

  "Yo, we're leaving." A pillow hits my face. Alex and Dash have their backpacks on. "Tell Violet goodnight for us. See ya tomorrow."

  I give them a wave as they leave. I sit up on the couch. It's quiet. Alex must have turned the TV off. I glance over at Violet on the sofa. Her pretty head rests on a pillow, her small body curls in the fetal position. Watching her breathe, I focus on the area around her; shifting my sight the way Violet told me to. I practiced outside on flowers and trees. By the afternoon I was seeing glowing red squirrels and orange bees.

  Materializing out of thin air, a sapphire flame engulfs her. The color resembles the blue wildflowers I've seen in the Sanctuary field. Her aura strangely seems larger than normal from what she explained. I swear its expanding before my eyes.

  "Violet?"

  Violet whimpers.

  "That is so sexy."

  She whimpers again.

  "Violet?" I hear another small sound escape her lips. This is funny. She responds to me. This will be an easy conversation. "I can see your aura. It's blue. I don't know what that means." I rise off the couch and approach the blue aura before me.

  Her soft voice responds with a long sigh.

  "It's bigger than mine. That's not fair." I chuckles to myself.

  My red aura is only inches from hers. A warm sensation heats the front of my body alerting me I'm too close. "When people are too close, Violet, it gets warm." It's so easy to talk to her with her eyes closed. "I want to thank you for letting me stay here. It's peaceful. I think this is about the best thing that's ever happened to me. I know we don't know each other that well but... I think you're amazing." I lift my hand and hover it by the edge where our auras wait to meet.

  She mumbles again.

  "If I wasn't so messed up, I wouldn't mind sharing my space with you."

  Violet shifts, turning her body slightly.

  "Shit!" I fall back tripping over the coffee table. I scurry away on the floor before her aura collides with mine. For some reason the heat is still warming the front of my body. I lose my sight ability and regain focus quickly. Her blue flame is dangerously closing in on mine. It moved and it's still moving. Can auras do that?

  "Violet?" My voice shakes.

  She whimpers in response. Her aura inches toward me.

  "Holy—" I scurry backwards until my back hits the wall. Slowly her auric atmosphere presses into mine like two bubbles joining. I try to fight the urge to immerse myself in her space entirely; pressing my back flush against the wall like it would help pull mine back.

  I slowly rise from the floor, trying to avoid totally emersion. She has to be feeling this too. Would she remember this feeling? If I stay in this too long, it will be harder to fight the monster inside of me. For some reason it seems to be slow at waking. I try to convince myself that I can get closer as long as she doesn't wake. How much of her can I take? There's no one else around to stop me if my body gives in. I don't want to hurt her.

  Suddenly, her aura overlaps mine. The merge is instant. An electrical charge shoots through me. My physical body tenses up. It's magnetic, like she's pulling me to her. I stagger forward like there's a rope around me. My blood is running hot just thinking about her doing this to me—it's so erotic. I've been with many people, but I never felt this.

  Violet's body moves again, making a soft sound as she does. Is she having a bad dream? Does she feel me? Her aura tugs again. The sensation is similar to the night we bumped into each other. I thought that was all me. Clearly I'm not the one doing this.

  I obey her gravity and move toward her. It's strong enough to release my alter-self which miraculously has not come out. If I let go, I'd have no problem taking what my body craves. My monster ego burdens my thoughts; she won't know, she sleeping. If she wakes, she might give in. She might... like it. But I can't do that to her as much as I want her. Violet is someone special, I can't ruin her.

  I curiously inch closer addicted to the spell she put on me. Praying I can keep this up, I kneel besides her wondering why she has this force. She's
a hybrid, but what kind? She tosses and turns. Beads of sweat bloom on her forehead. Her lips are plump—so kissable. My body shakes and perspires just thinking about what it would be like to have her.

  I'm jolted as the atmosphere changed; her aura retracts back to normal size. My energy wants to follow hers. I want to fully connect with her. I brace myself waiting for her receding energy to leave me. As it peels away, I'm disappointed it didn't last long. My body was triggered without causing her harm. I've relieved and exhausted. I've lost something in the connection. It feels an awful lot like sex.

  Violet's whimpering stopped and her breathing is normal. The blue halo settles closer to her skin.

  I didn't start this, it was her. She pulled me. I was the receiver. I've never felt it that way before. It's always me that lures. Somehow, I harnessed the monster inside. No. She pulled me apart from it.

  I have to stay far away. Violet is like me.

  Chapter Twenty

  Dash

  "I did something bad." I walk faster to match Alex's long stride. He's stares at me and stops at the corner where we'll go our separate ways. It's weird feeling him in my head. It's like when I'm in my room and Cedric there' it's kind of reassuring that I'm not alone, but it's nerve-racking that he can see everything.

  "Again." He arches his brow. "Klepto."

  "I took a different journal. This one I think something big happens in it. I just had to take it."

  "Skipping school, stealing shit. I wouldn't have taken you as a rule breaker."

  "Only when it's important. I feel guilty, but it's what Red wants me to do."

  "Guilty. Yeah, you should be. You can just ask her next time. I'm sure with some convincing she'd let you take, but you didn't even try." Alex snickers. "You didn't think twice about taking it."

  "Red wanted me to take it."

  Alex shakes his head. "I see you, Dash. You don't care what people think as long as they don't bother you when you're in your own little world. You took it 'cause you wanted to, not because you wanted to help."

  "That's not true."

  "I tell it like I see it, even if it hurts. It's what people need. If you lie about this now, you'll keep lying and it'll get bigger. Violet won't forgive you."

  "Is that coming from experience? You don't see it like it is. You only scratch the surface when it comes to people. There's only so much seeing you can do."

  "Not according to Violet." He shifts his weight.

  "You're a wolf in sheep's clothing; charming your way into her panties like she's one of the bimbos I'm sure you're used to sleeping with."

  "At least I socialize. Maybe if you opened up, people won't think you're so weird."

  "I don't care what people think of me."

  "That's why you don't have any friends." He leans in close. "If you don't care about what people think, then you don't care about people. You break the rules thinking, 'fuck, them they're idiots'."

  "That's not true." I push my glasses up.

  "Who's the telepath, Dash?"

  "Well, what about you?"

  "What about me? You're going to read me?" He snickers.

  "I can figure you out just as easily. You think by following the rules you can have control of what people think of you by performing; swaying the crowd like the actor you are. If you're not seen in a certain light you advertise. You're a player. You don't mind following the rules just as long as you're the one making them."

  "I don't make all the rules. There's shit I have to deal with. Shit you don't know anything about." He stuffs his hands into his pockets.

  "Like what? Being popular? Poor you."

  "You have no idea."

  "Just because you can read minds doesn't mean you know people. There's more than the brain when it comes to humans."

  "Hybrids." Alex corrects me with smirk. "Look, just be careful with the books."

  "I know. I care about her, too."

  "You're holding the book like it's the Holy Grail of unlocking Violet's panties."

  I release my grip around the journal and stuff it into my back pack.

  "I'm right though. You're not so innocent." Alex bites his lip. "So, are you reading it tonight?"

  "Yeah. Like you said, I like my own little world." I slink my bag over my shoulder and walk pass him.

  Alex grabs my backpack and I'm tugged back. "You want to make a friend?"

  I sneer. I hate that he's right about me. "Whatever."

  "Your place or mine?"

  "Yours. There’s no privacy at my house." We both look awkwardly at each. But the idea that we will learn more about Violet overpowers the awkwardness.

  "I guess we're both doing it for the wrong reason," Alex grins.

  "Maybe." I comb my hair out of my eyes. "It doesn't have to be."

  ***

  Dash

  "All you have to do is sleep."

  Alex gets comfortable in his bed. "Easy for you to say. I've never slept with a dude in my room."

  I clear my throat. "I'll just be reading Red's journal while a connection is made between us."

  "Connection between us? Can you not say shit like that?"

  I ignore his homophobic comment. He's making such a big deal about this. Hasn't he ever had a sleepover as a child?

  "Yeah, I have, when I was six. No one slept in the same bed." He sighs. "Just get on with it."

  "With the lack of control, your mind is wide open to receive whoever is closest to you."

  "Okay I get it. You're the radio, I'm the receiver."

  "Actually, the radio antenna is the receiver. The transmitter creates radio waves through the air in which the antenna receives, making you both the transmitter and receiver."

  "Who cares about the technicality shit! This is so gay, you know that?" Alex bashes his pillow with his fist and plops his blonde head down.

  "Not for long." I try reassuring him.

  "Alright, just watch TV or something." He waves his hand for me to leave.

  "I don't watch TV."

  "What? Who doesn't watch TV?" Alex winces. "Go do something 'cause I don't think I could sleep knowing you're about to lie down next to me."

  I roll my eyes, leaving Alex to try to sleep. I wander the Aisling's large vacant house.

  I check out the Aisling's mantle. Alex is an only child. I'd liked that. It's lonely having eight siblings and two parents who are oblivious to my existence. Alex must get a lot of attention. The family of three in each photo shows Alex growing taller. I pick up the latest one. The family photo taken in the front yard shows Mr. Aisling and Mrs. Aisling's smiles are the same as the last sixteen photos. But Alex's smile seems to have gotten smaller and smaller as time progressed. I'm wrong to assume Alex is perfectly alright. Withdrawn eyes with a goodbye expression like he knows this will be the last time he'll see these people.

  My fingers rub the back of the framed photo. A feeling arrives with every touch—loneliness. Alex's parents are never around and when they are, they hound him to be the best—the best at everything. This is the toll Alex takes with following the rules—someone else's rules. I'm surprised I can tell this much about him from a picture. I place the portrait of their lying faces down.

  A massive movie collection catches my eye. I skim my fingers across them and know from touching their spines that Alex has seen them all. From the titles, he isn't bias to a particular genre or period. Classic epics; foreign romance; fairytale animation; it seems he enjoys anything and everything, watching them alone for the full effect and peace of mind. It makes sense. He hears voices all day, so to watch actors in a movie without hearing their thoughts must be a relief. It's what he does to feel normal.

  I chuckle a little at movies I would've never thought he'd watch, but in fact enjoyed. A guy like Alex watching chick flicks is priceless.

  I make myself at home on an oversized sofa and begin sketching what Alex would look like sleeping. I put a lot of care into what his eyes might look like closed. His blonde hair is perfect in real life and so he
's perfect in the drawing. He's flawless in every visual way; symmetry at its best. I wonder if it has something to do with being a hybrid; I'm not blessed with beautiful hair, an impeccable face and ideal body. Alex is so attractive. I begin to feel even more alien than before, staring at the image. Why are all my new friends beautiful? Why did I get the short end of the hybrid stick? Maybe I'm more human than alien? It would explain why I feel so common next to him. Maybe Red made a mistake? I'm no one special.

  I finish my rendering of Alex. It's so flawless, it makes me sick. I'll have to hide it from him or he'll get the wrong idea like everyone else.

  I check on Alex, who's finally asleep. He's on his back with one arm behind his head and the other occupying the empty space he left for me. I slowly move his arm away to lie beside him. His long fingers are perfect, and his nails are shiny. I look at my bitten ones disappointingly. Alex doesn't work with his hands like I do. The chalk, paint and clay do a number on my fingers. They'll never be as clean and soft as Alex's. He's just as impressive as the drawing. I props my head up on a pillow, giving him one last look before I read the book of secrets.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Alex

  It's like any dream; foggy, blurry sometimes, it even skips like an old record and yet understandable and to the point. Time passes quickly like a flip book. I first observe the Sanctuary come to life. Like massive puzzle, the land shifts into place. The forest shoots up and the flowers emerge from the ground like a time lapse video. The seasons change just as quickly and the colors transfer from one to another like a mood ring. The sky moves from night to day; sun down to moon rising again and again.

  Hovering within a body I have no control over. I identify the subject immediately as Red. I'm anxious as my floating self is trapped observing through Red's eyes. All the emotions Red feels, jumps from one to another quickly. It reflects the dream's immediate state of constant action.