by Amanda Miga
It's time to go home and it's my fault that I agreed it would be safe to come out and have a good time. I should have known. I should have known. I'm sorry, Red, I'm so stupid.
Alex's is so soothing; it actually quiets my mind some. Dash exits the club with Gabriel. My eyes accidentally connect with his. His eyes are red. He's crying. He knows what he did was wrong.
Alex arms hold me tighter. My eyes dart back to my feet. We stand here quietly, but I know the dirty looks Gabriel is receiving.
We walk home. Alex's voice in my head soothes with things like we're almost home and I got you, don't worry. I got you. I'm grateful he can do that and embarrassed at the same time. Maybe I should let him go. Every time I think it his arm squeezes.
Before I knew it I'm lying on the sofa with Alex sitting beside me.
"Vi?" Alex says softly, stroking my hair behind her ear.
I look around for Dash and Gabriel.
"Dash went home and Gabriel's outside."
The outside is pitch-black, it must be late.
"It's 2:00 AM."
"Past midnight?"
"Vi, don't worry." He places his hand on mine. "It's not even a school night, remember?"
"But your parents. You'll get in trouble." I slide my hand away from his and realize I'm practically in his lap. I shift away from him.
"They're not even in town. They never are." He shifts closer to me. "Besides I can't leave you here alone after what happened."
Why did Gabriel do that? Why did he purposely seek me out?
"He likes you, Vi. Once Dash helped him with his aura thing, it seems he got it in his head he can do whatever he feels like. But still he's dangerous. He's done some fucked up shit. I'm not leaving you alone with him tonight."
"No, it's okay. I'm sure the alcohol I smelled had something to do with it."
"Sorry about the beer. That's kind of our fault. But seriously Vi, he's fucked up. I've seen what he's done. It's like Dash opened Pandora's Box. I'm not leaving you here alone."
I agree I don't want to be alone tonight. But there's no way I'm sleeping on the sofa.
"You drank too?"
"Yeah." Alex purses his mouth.
"Goodnight Alex." I get up and go to Red's room, safely locking the door from the hormonally drunk teenagers running amuck in the Sanctuary.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Gabriel
My reflection comes together in the calming lake. I can make out the details of my eyes, nose and mouth on the surface.
"I hate you."
Another pebble is dropped in, distorting my likeness again into a blur. I run my hands through my hair. My face—where do I begin and end. This is the face Violet saw coming after her. There is no difference between me and demon inside me. We wear the same face. It’s destroys everything I love and it’s continues to kill the new things I've come to enjoy. Slowly it will eat me from the inside out.
'You can be many ways.' The words Red had said still make no sense. What does that mean? Maybe I'll be burdened with this forever—a double life—many ways. I can't be a normal person. There’s isn't definition to my life. The many ways Red's referred to are starting to blend into each other. I can’t be just Gabriel; I’ll be the monster too.
Last night was a nightmare. What I did to Violet is shameful. I expect to be kicked out as soon as she wakes. She wouldn’t want someone like me living with her. I’ll end up hurting her.
But...I want to. So badly, I want to.
I sit back and wince from brightly lit ball in the sky. The unforgiving sun bears down on me. The blackness in my peripheral catches my eye like ghostly presence. Violet doesn't know enough about the Black forest. Maybe I'll find out myself. She said it was off limits because you could get lost and there is no way of anyone finding you after you enter. I can use a little getting lost. The darkness is probably where I should be; far away from Violet. She has no need for me. I proved that at the concert. Sex craved monsters don't have a purpose. In the real world, I have no purpose and here in, the Sanctuary, I have no purpose.
The blackness calls to me. It’s only natural for a dark soul to live in a dark place. Whatever the forbidden area holds must be meant for me. I'm a bad person. The lustful burden, the hungry part of me won't sleep. To bury myself in the darkness is what I need; like lying in a coffin to die. This is where I can’t hurt anyone—especially Violet.
I approach hearing strange things teasing my ears. Living things scurry and dead things scratch. The forest speaks.
In the first step, I'm swallowed whole by the blackness. I can't see my hands in front of me. I turn around and the light is gone; all around me there's nothingness. I hear trees creaking and echoes of ghostly whispers. I walk forward with hands in front of me feeling between trees, hearing the crunch of dead leaves beneath my sneakers.
My eyes adjust until I'm able to see the outline of leafless trees. In between them, their trunks start to glow. The trees are alive, not dead. Small creatures that move about leave a residual light trails. My peripheral view is littered with phantom mists; dark spots the appear and reappear. Walking deeper, I become comfortable in the strange demimonde. This is my new lair.
I hear my name. I follow the soft cry. A figure with a blue flame around them passes between two trees with her hands out in front of her.
"Violet."
"Gabriel?" Sapphire flame comes towards me.
She came in here for me?
"Gabriel!" She's frightened when she calls my name, but I don't respond. I'm in awe of her lovely aura, the colors change from blue to lavender. The surface shimmers in a reddish hue. "Gabriel, I've been calling you. What are you doing in here?"
I realize I have no idea. Seeing her makes me forget why I came into the forest at all. She stands the usual safe distance away from me even though it isn't necessary anymore, but after what I did at the concert I don't blame her.
"Follow me okay?"
I nod, but I'm sure she can't see.
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine, Gabriel. I understand, just please never come in here again."
"Why?"
"This place is terrible." She's trembling and her aura looks dense like she's trying to protect herself from the darkness. I realize I'm part of the darkness she's so scared of.
"I like it." The words come out. It's true. There's something about this place that makes me feel comfortable. I feel like myself.
"There's nothing in here."
"There's us." Us—I'm alone in the dark with her. I smile. Somewhere deep inside me vibrates. The monster is clawing to come out. I'm hungry again. I walk into Violet's personal space. My heart races and the desire that makes my body move toward her, transforms into appetite. I hear her whimper as my aura forcibly tries to merge with hers again. My hands search the flame and find Violet's arm. I pull her weak body toward me. She's breathing heavy and so am I. I find her hips, and with a firm grasp, I command her closer. I can feel a rope around her waist.
"What is this?"
"So we can make it back out." Her voice is so small, like a helpless animal. "G-Gabriel… please let go."
I ignore her. She’s stiff in my arms, her hand presses against my chest, but she isn't really trying to push me away. Her will is weak. I smell her scent. It makes my mouth water. My hand caresses her cheek and my finger glides across finding her quivering lower lip. I tease myself with how soft and wet they are.
I bring her chin up to meet mine. I open my mouth and very slowly saver her. Her trembling lips are delicious. One kiss. I pull away. My craving for her overwhelms me. I kiss her again, more vigorously.
Her unresponsive lips whimper once more before they open slightly. "No."
I respond quickly to her, walking her backwards, pressing her against a tree in the darkness. My tongue naturally pries her mouth open.
"No!" Violet pushes me away. "Gabriel, No!"
I'm quiet and the forest is very still.
I kissed her. I touch my lips.
She had to have liked it. She must want more.
The light stabs my eyes. Violet shoves my hand away. When my eyes adjust, she throws down the rope tied to her waist and the other end to a tree. She doesn't say a word and hastily makes her way to the cabin. Dash is standing beside the tied tree. His mouth is a straight tight line and his eyes glare at me above his glasses.
"She has a boyfriend." Dash says firmly.
I don't care. I'll do again... and again... and again. "No labels," I smirk.
Dash’s hands ball up into tight fists. My smile disappears. Something in Dash's eyes tells me to run before he decides to use them. I don't waste any time and rush pass him. My blood is hot and I need to finalize my contact with Violet. Her body must be longing for me just as mine is for hers. My soul is full and my body is exhilarated. I'm running on high.
She's locked herself in Red's room. I knock. "What do you want?" She sounds just as vulnerable as the others I've had.
"It's me." I see her shadow under the door, pacing. She takes a while to decide. I'm patient in hunting mode. They always come to me. I lean into the door ready to place my foot there in case she changes her mind. I know what she really wants. We're both made for it. Our auras joined, feeling her body react to me—that can only be desire. She wants me too. This is how it works. This is how it always works. It will take another interaction for her fall into my arms.
Violet finally opens the door and just as I suspect she changes her mind. I quickly shove my foot in the door. Our eyes meet. It feels like it's for the first time. I hold her gaze as long as possible. We are the same. She will want the same thing there's no denying it.
"You're different." Her eyes dilate.
"What do mean?" I entice her.
"Your eyes. Your confidence… it wasn't there before. What happened to the frightened, worried boy I know?"
I glance at her trembling bottom lip. "He's… inside me." My mouth waters thinking about another kiss.
She pushes the door but my foot wedges in pretty good. "Violet please," I beg. "You can help me finish this."
"I can't do that." She attempts to avert her eyes from me, but manages to bite her lip causing her eyes to well up. "You don't know what you're saying."
"Yes, I do. You can open this door." My words can be convincing if I let my ability come through my voice. I've used this talent before. "You wouldn't have opened the door at all if you didn't want something. You don't have to fight this. I know what you want. I can smell it."
Violet eases the force on the door.
"Gabriel!" Get away from her! Alex's growl painfully applies pressure to my temples. It rips its way to the top of my skull. I give Violet one last look before removing my foot from the door and collapsing to the floor.
***
Alex
Holy shit! What did I just do? Gabriel's still body is at my feet. His mind is dead quiet.
"What did you do, Alex?" Violet kneels in the door way.
"I-I don't know. It just happened. I got angry."
"Is he—?"
There's activity. There's presence. He's still alive. "He's fine. I think I knocked him out. I've never done that before." I step over Gabriel to approach Violet. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
I kneel beside her. There's something stronger about being near her. She makes my heart race. Rummaging through her thoughts as she crawls closer to Gabriel, my chest tightens. Violet's hand reaches for him. I snatch it. "He kissed you!"
She wipes her tears away and brushes her lips as if it shows on her face. "It was an accident. I set him off in the Black forest."
"It wasn't an accident. He pursued you, Vi."
"No. It's not his fault."
"Why are you defending him?" I tighten my hand around hers. "He's a terrible person who doesn't care who he hurts."
"He's not a terrible person! It was an accident. He's trying to understand his ability. And I wouldn't talk if I were you. You're still learning yours."
"Your right. I'm sorry, but he's not." I lean toward her with my hand still wrapped around hers. "I see what's in his head. He's not as innocent as you think. The kid was molested and it fucked him up."
"What?" She looks back at Gabriel. I tug her closer, my hand locks around hers.
"Don't. Don't feel bad for him. He thinks he can relieve himself like a cat in heat. What he did to you is wrong, Vi. I'm worried about leaving you with him. He's not right."
I don't like seeing her cry but she's so hot even when she's upset. I move a stray hair on her cheek. "I worry about you." My finger grazes her skin and my breath catches. Her aura is intense. The sensations running up my fingers must be what Gabriel had started. She's so magnetic my fingers never want to leave her skin. My breathe catches again when she closes her eyes. My hand gently caresses her cheek. She looks so relieved. Her body sways slightly. I let go of her hand and slide it up her arm. I lean in to kiss her. My breath enters her parting mouth and she turns away.
"Alex, don't." She backs away.
"Don't what." I feel lightheaded.
"You know what."
"That's not fair. It's okay for him to do it?"
"Of course not. What's this have to do about being fair?"
"Well, from your memory you didn't seem to mind him—"
"I think you should go." Violet stands, folding her arms.
"Fine." I stand and step over Gabriel.
"We can't leave him here." Violet says.
"Why not? We can't touch him. He'll wake up and go to his room. I'm not touching him." Who cares about what happens to him.
"We can't leave him."
"I'll move him." Dash appears behind me. "I don't mind. I'll put him on the sofa."
"Are you sure?" Violet asks.
Dash brushes pass me, hitting me arm. He watched the whole thing, absorbing it all like an addiction to the pain. Dash likes her too and to be the only one that hasn't connected with her in some way pisses him off. He does it a lot; letting people do things while he lets himself get angry and bottles it up. He holds it inside like he's collecting all the shitty things people do. I would hate to see the kid explode. He drags Gabriel to the sofa just as he said without a reaction to his aura. It's not like he doesn't feel him—he does, but unlike Violet, there's pleasure in the self-denial.
"How does he do that?"
I ignore her and block her view of a masochistic Dash pulling Gabriel up on the sofa. "I'm not leaving you in this cabin with him." I touch her chin.
"Yes, you are." She bats my hand away. "I think it's time for you two to head out."
"But it's early." I take her hand. "I thought we could—"
Violet pulls away. "Please leave." She goes into Red's room and locks the door.
"What did I do wrong? I only want to protect you. Vi! Vi?" I shout at the door. It's a lie. I don't want to protect her as much as I want to keep her away from everyone else.
Chapter Thirty
Alex
"Violet?" I throw my backpack down on the sofa. The cabin is silent. Gabriel's mind is usually preoccupied in his room. Her precious thoughts usually lead me to Red or Grey's room like bread crumbs. But my reading tells my there's no one in the cabin. There's more to the Sanctuary than just the cabin. If Gabriel isn't in his usual place then Violet must be with him.
I moves quickly to the porch and scans the landscape. I didn't see anyone when I came in through the gate. The lake is still and the forest edge is motionless. Where would he take her? I jump off the porch and runs to the Black Forest side of the cabin. Distant laugher catches my ear—Violet's laugh. She's not alone which means he is with her. The first thing I can think of is how a girl laughs when she is tickled. Is he touching her? I strain my mind ear to hear. But they're too far away. My feet kick the tall grass—tall enough to lie in and no
t be seen. She giggles again and it wrenches my heart. After yesterday, there's no telling what he's doing to her. He has a persuading aura. I've seen it in Gabriel's memory that luring is the first step. They all fall for it. Violet was going to fall right into his lap if it I hadn't knocked him out. He's had all day to entice her. I should've skipped school.
Two figures sitting by a fallen tree face each other. They're not far apart, but they're not close either. They're just talking. Violet giggles again. Gabriel is smiling but his relaxed body is not a good sign. He's usually slouch and too afraid to even look at her. I dive into their heads and their voices tune in and out so badly I know it's because of the stupid weight in my chest. From what I can read she's too content with his company. It makes my eyes burn to see her lean close to him. So what if he looks like Red. So what if his ability is identical to Red's. He isn't Red. I want to let him know that he isn't welcome to be that close to her after his attempts. Why does she forgive him so easily when all he wants is one thing?
"Are you okay?" Dash startles me.
"No, I'm not. Look at them. It's like nothing happened. He must have another ability that's causing her to think she's safe with him."
"Dude, calm down." Dash places his hands in his pocket.
I pace like a caged tiger. I rake my fingers through my hair as Violet laughs. She's interested in whatever lies he’s telling her. His greedy eyes covet her. There’s something new that twinkles in her eyes. I hate like it. That creep isn't hiding anymore. I want to shove my fist into his pretty face so he'll have a reason to hide in his hoodie again.
"He calmed down after your telepathy zapped his brain. I think they're just talking."
"Look at him. This is what he does. He uses people, Dash. I know because I've seen everything in that kids head. He can't be trusted."
"I think you're reading him wrong."
"Excuse me?" I face Dash. "Who's the telepath? I can see he's just one touch away from foaming at the mouth before he humps more than Violet's leg. That kid is an animal. Why don't you just grab him Dash, keep him occupied or something."
