Gravity

by Amanda Miga

  "What?" Dash says in an offensive tone.

  "Oh, come on! I know your little secret. Everyone seems to just fall to his feet. He knows what he's doing. You haven't seen what I've seen in that sick brain of his. Look what he's done to you and look what he's doing to her." I point to Violet.

  "He hasn't done anything to me." Dash takes his hands out of his pockets.

  "Yeah, right. From what I knew of you before, you weren't such a faggot."

  Dash charges me, grabbing my shirt. We slam to the ground. I roll on top of him and threaten him with my fist. Dash already has a bloody nose and lost his glasses in the scuffle. He sneers. I hesitate to punch the wrong kid.

  "Go ahead! Hit Me! You know only half of what you read."

  "He's got you so tight around his dick; you don't even remember why you're here." I want hit for that reason alone.

  "Fuck you!" Dash shouts as the ground beneath us quakes. I clamp Dash's flailing arms. The grass around us turns yellow. He's trembling in my grasp and his formidable glare makes me think twice about fighting someone who tends to keep everything inside.

  "Alex!" Violet's voice seizes the shaking ground. Dash looks shamefully away from me. His mind simmers down to a more calm and collected state for Violet's sake. It makes me feel like a raging animal in comparison.

  "What is going on? Alex, what are you doing?" She pulls my arm. A light sensation runs through me and places a reassuring feeling to my heart. Gabriel comes to her side. Her hand slips away taking the sensation with her as I let Dash go. The impression must have been a leftover from being with Gabriel. It wasn't meant for me.

  Dash gets to his feet, wiping his bloody nose. I walk away before I reveals too much of how I feel on my face. It's too much for me to handle. Violet catches up to me. I turning my head away from her direction, I don't want her to see me this angry.

  "Alex, talk to me? What was that about?"

  I pick up the pace. "Nothing." I search around for anything, but her face to look at.

  "Alex, stop! Talk to me." I stop, but I can't look at her. But I fail when her pretty face moves into my view. "Alex, tell me."

  I shake his head. I can feel the pressure around my eyes. "It's all bullshit! How can you let him take advantage like that? It's obvious he has a stalker-crush on you. He's sadistic, Vi."

  "Alex, he's not sadistic. He's adjusting that's all."

  "And you’re going to forgive him? After what I saw in his sick head?"

  "Gabriel's not sick in the head, if he is then so am. Have you forgotten we have the same ability? He's stronger, had a hard life, but he has someone to talk to about it. I understand."

  "You're nothing like him. Your thoughts aren't evil."

  "He's not evil, Alex. How could you say that?" She takes a step away from me like I disgust her.

  I shake his head. "I'm not the one you should be disgusted in. I'm trying to protect you. The way you look at him because he looks like Red. I can see you compare the two. I can't stand it. He's not Red, Violet."

  Her mouth drops and her arms wraps around herself.

  "Vi, tell me I'm wrong. He's using that to his advantage."

  She shakes her head and looks down at the ground. She’s ashamed.

  “I know you like that he looks like Red just like I remind you of Grey. Call me jealous because I am. But I can’t let you be with that beast over there.”

  She looks back at Gabriel and then Dash. Her tearing eyes look back at me.

  "I didn't mean to—"

  I suddenly regret everything I just said. This is the same as the journal; the same as Red and Grey fighting. I'm making her feel guilty again.

  “Violet? I—" I reach for her, but she resists me. “I didn’t mean—"

  "I’m so sorry.” Her fingers grip her arms like she's trying to hold it all inside.

  "Vi—"

  She runs to the cabin thinking she could never be friends with any of us.

  My hands want nothing more than to hold her. My feet want to run after her. But I'm stuck in place, thinking she needs be as far away from me because I made her remember everything that happens is her fault.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Dash

  "You wanted to see me?" I stand awkwardly in the doorway. I can't count the times I've been in Red's room, but for some reason Violet's presence changes the atmosphere.

  She wipes her wet face with the back of her hand. "Yes. Come in." Her voice tries to sound steady. I take a step into the room but I'm not sure if I'm allowed to sit on the bed or at the desk. Something tells me this conversation will be brief, in which case I stand with my hands in my pockets. Violet sits on the edge of the bed, grabbing a tissue for her red eyes.

  "I think we need to hurry." She doesn't look up from her tissue. "Have you found anything?"

  She folds the tissue into a square on her lap. I'm afraid to tell her I've found nothing relating to where Red may have gone. Even Grey's leave, comes up empty.

  "No." The word comes out in barely a whisper.

  Her tears fall again. Her hand trembles. "I thought if anything, it would start with you... that you'd find something. All this time we had. I feel like I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do. I don't even I know what that even is. I left you to your own devices. I figured something would happen."

  "Maybe there's a way to contact him again."

  "No." She crumples her tissue. "I used to feel his presence in my dreams, but now there's nothing. Something is wrong." She looks up at me. Her helpless face is proof of my slacking. I've wasted time.

  "Violet, I'll look again. There's got to be something I missed."

  "I don't know what else to do." She continues. "I don't know. I just don't know. I've let you all get so close... I must have done something wrong—"

  "No, Violet. You haven't done anything wrong." I cautiously step forward.

  "I've done it again. I've ruined everything... you're friendships... you were fighting. This can't happen. We have to find Red and this will be all over."

  Over? This? I can't fathom a day without coming to my new favorite place. To go back to my old life would be such a nightmare. I won't be needed. My Goddess won't need me. My chest hurts just thinking about such a loss.

  I relieve my hands from my pockets and kneel before her. "Violet, please don't say that."

  "We're wasting time. Maybe it's me. I'm wasting..."

  "Violet." I place my hand on hers. A light vibration is ripped away when she shoves me.

  "Don't touch me!"

  I fall back to the floor.

  Violet covers her mouth. "I'm sorry." She gets up.

  I rub where she pushed me. The delightful sensation spreads across my chest. An accidental smile forms on my lips.

  "Oh, my God. You should leave." She rushes to the door.

  "Violet, it's okay." I erase my smile and rise to my feet. "It's fine."

  "No, it's not. I've touched you. Please, leave," she cries holding the door open.

  "Violet—"

  "Get out!" She sobs.

  I do as I'm told. The door behind me shuts accompanied by a cool breeze to my back. My fingers are still vibrating. I close my eyes and feel it slowly fade. My heart sinks and my breathing picks up, beating like I've run a marathon. My hands begin to shake as the anxiety inflates.

  I failed her. She must... hate me.

  I make it to the door leading outside. The knob rattles and the door swings open. I stumble out of the cabin. The wood porch planks vibrate beneath my feet. I want to run away, but where? I sob and collapse to my knees. The subtle rocking motion slows the wood clacking and doorknob seizes it's rattling.

  Violet hates me.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Dash

  Sitting on the edge of the forest I gaze at the great wonder that Red created; the Black forest, the lake, the gate and the cabin in one breathtaking view. There's so much more to I want to explore. There are more journals to read. I want more time with Violet. This new life in
the Sanctuary will end sooner than later. According to Red's journals, I'm not of age to stay. I still have school and a family that cares for me. No more deciphering the hidden secrets of Red's cabin and no time to explore the peculiar forests surrounding it. Violet will be with Red and that's the end. It seems I'm too young for everything—especially Violet.

  The conversation with her was quick and straight to the point—we need to hurry. The friendly aura she gave off is now locked away; reserved only for Red. I saw in her eyes she was purposely putting distance between us. I wish I had spent more time with her. My time with her is next to nothing. It's consumed with the journals, the Sanctuary and Gabriel. I neglected the sole reason for my happiness. I didn't sit with her to talk like Alex and Gabriel had, until now. But it wasn't a good talk. It felt like it was a 'hurry up and find Red and get out' conversation; it hurt.

  I failed her; not finding what I needed to find; what Red wanted me to find. What did I miss?

  "Hey." Alex says behind me.

  "Hey. Come to finish me off?”

  "No. I wanted to tell you I'm sorry. I'm an asshole."

  “Yep, you are. And a douche,” I grin. I can't be mad at him.

  "Yeah, I know. I hope we're still friends?”

  I look up at Alex like I've never heard of such a thing.

  "Yeah, so still friends?" Alex looks like he's awkwardly waiting for confirmation before sitting.

  I nod. Being Alex's official friend is pretty awesome, even if he did make my nose bleed.

  "So what did Vi want to talk to you about?" Alex settles beside me as the slight high of being his friend simmers down.

  "Red. She wants us to hurry."

  “I get that. She needs us to leave so she won't feel she’s hurting anyone. I’m such an idiot.”

  "I know.”

  Alex nudges me.

  “I'm going to look over at a few more things before I leave today. We can't keep wandering away from what she asked us to do for her."

  "When you're done, stop at my place. I'm having a party... maybe forget about this for a while. You should come."

  "Seriously?" The last party I went to was my baby sister’s sixth birthday party. Most of the time there were four year-olds running around the house smearing cake on everything. Somehow strawberry icing made it into my hair.

  "It won't be like that." Alex chuckles. "Well maybe, if you like seventeen year-old girls doing the smearing." He bites his lip. "They'll be music, beer... other girls. You gotta come."

  I smile at all three.

  "Come on you need a break from this place... from Violet."

  “I could never need a break from her,” I confess.

  “I do. She’s messing up my head pretty bad.”

  I want to go but my confidence is low. I wouldn't know anyone there. I thought of Gabriel. If Gabriel goes, it would be a big help. I peer up at Alex baring the guilty thought in mind.

  "No way. It'll end up making the party into a homo-erotic orgy. Besides you can make friends. You know, talk to people."

  "You want him around Violet… alone?" My brow lifts.

  Alex purses his lips and his eyes narrow. "Fine. But tell him to keep it in his pants."

  I try to contain my excitement. A party—being friends with Alex is awesome.

  "Keep the gay down to a minimum." He adds.

  ***

  Dash

  "Are you sure about this? I thought he hated me."

  "He doesn't hate you and yeah, I'm sure you'll be fine." I grin thinking about the last time Gabriel asked about how sure I was. We were in Red's room and he was handcuffed to the terrace. "You make me feel comfortable."

  "I make you feel comfortable?" Gabriel purses his smile. “You really are weird.”

  "Yeah, I don't really have friends." I shrug. "We kind of have that in common."

  He smiles awkwardly. "My social skills suck." He frowns as the music from the party is reaching his ears.

  "Another thing we have in common."

  We walk quietly while I think about Violet and what she told me. With so much on my mind an hour or two won't hurt to stop thinking about what will happen after we find Red, that is, if we find Red. I sigh.

  "This house is huge." Gabriel gapes blowing my thought away.

  "Every house on this block is huge."

  Gabriel rubs his arm like he's cold. I bet he wishes he had his hoodie. He’s having second thoughts.

  "You're okay. You've got yourself pretty contained. As long as no one touches your skin, you're alright."

  "What if I'm set off?" The light from the street lamp makes one of his green eyes glow.

  "You'll be fine. I doubt anyone here comes close in comparison to Violet. Besides, I'm not leaving your side."

  Gabriel swallows staring up at the house. The music is loud and all of the lights are on. People are moving in and out with drinks in their hands. I almost feel bad that I dragged him here for my own comfort—almost. He's a beautiful distraction. I slowly drag my hand down his back and lightly press him to move with me to the house. I'm glad he's used to me touching him. I don't think I could ever stop.

  "D-Man." Alex greets us immediately at the front door, bombarding me with a drunken hug. Gabriel backs away before Alex brushes against him accidentally. I grab his shirt before Gabriel steps too far away for comfort.

  “I’m psyched you came.” I get a whiff of his beer breath as Alex places his arm around me. He waves as if he were presenting the party to me. "Yo, Jake. Pete!" Alex shouts over the music. Two guys Alex's age and just as tall come over.

  "D-man, this Jake and Pete, my besties." Alex tugs his arm around my neck affectionately. "Jake, Pete this is Dash. He's wicked smart and shit, so watch-it. And that's Gabriel." He points without looking at him. Jake and Pete nod, raising their drinks.

  Jake grabs some beers and hands them to us. I take both and hands Gabriel his.

  "Beer pong?" Pete reaches in his pocket, glaring at me and Gabriel for a challenge.

  Alex starts raising his hands up as if he made a goal. "Beer Pong! Set the table!" He shouts to the room.

  I know beer pong from my brother Cedric and I know there’s no way Jake and Pete will win. I've got a knack for precision throwing.

  Setting up the table, Gabriel inch closer. He’s staring at his bottle, worried about drinking. He went overboard at the concert chasing Violet around. “You’re alright, trust me. Have faith in yourself,” I say under my breath.

  "Well, at least I know this won't fill itself." He says under his breath.

  I feel bad about the night of the concert. I just wanted us to have fun. I hold the ping pong balls in my hand as Jake places six red cups into the usual triangle on each side of the table; three, then two then lastly one pointing towards the table center. Alex fills the cups a quarter of the way, spilling a little because of his unsteady hands. I concentrate on the balls in my hands feeling their weight and calculating. I bounce them one by one placing more and more of my energy with the ping pong balls. I grin at Gabriel. He sees the aura around them as I leave my own energy trace upon them.

  "Cheater." Gabriel nudges me. My grin disappears as I realized that it is cheating. I will have control of the balls this way. I frown and hand them to Gabriel to let the energy dissipate.

  The game begins and even in their drunken state Jake and Pete are tearing us a new one.

  "Shit!"

  Pete’s throw lands in another cup. Gabriel has to drink another. The beer is punishing him hard. I feel okay. Somehow the alcohol isn’t as effective with me as it is with Gabriel.

  "You okay?" I say under my breath.

  "Barely." He's reaching the point where he will no longer will be able to hold back his aura if we don't slow the other two down.

  "You're doing great, Gabriel."

  "And you're playing like shit."

  I take the ball on my turn and feel it out again, grinding my teeth. Jake points his finger at me like a gun. Alex bobs his head to the music as he
watches his old friends battle his new ones. Girls cling to him like bees to honey. He seems to be getting bored as his attention is drawn to the big breasted one filling his cup.

  I rub the ball, giving it my energy for the perfect bounce straight into the first cup. With each game, Jake and Pete's triangle is knocked out one by one. Their ball throws are not as direct as before; spinning off the rims or missing them entirely. The beer is affecting their game and their spirit is plummeting.

  For Alex, the game isn't as exciting as sucking face's with a girl wrapped in his arm. Gabriel notices after his turn, looking at me with the same puzzled look. What about Violet? Gabriel shrugs contently at the idea of Violet leaving Alex's mind. But I'm as dismissive as Gabriel. Alex likes Violet. Why is he kissing a random girl? I remember at the diner he did the same thing. It seems Alex is an 'in the moment' type of guy.

  ***

  Alex

  Dash eyes me. Somehow his thoughts make it through. The mind numbing music I'm used to getting away from myself with, mellows.

  What are you doing Alex?

  Forgetting.

  Forgetting what?

  I ignore him and look at the pretty brunette I have my hands on. She isn't remotely as beautiful as Violet, but that’s the problem. Someone better than Violet will be able to destroy her hold on me. It seems like an impossible task for the poor girl. Her blue eyes play coy but her hands aren't as bashful, running up my abdomen. Violet never touched me and she probably never will.

  I'm pissed at my own heart. I take the girl's hand and head to my parent’s bedroom. She doesn't waste any time which I like. We kiss. She tastes like cherry flavored candy—too sweet.

  Oh my God, I can't believe this, she celebrates.

  I avoid kissing her too much to avoid her overly-sweetened flavor. Her hands annoyingly hold my face in place. I push her on my parent’s bed and take my shirt off. She watch's me like she's won a prize—a facial expression I let my ego feed on. The boost reminds me that I'm free to do what I want and I can have anyone I want. Right now I want to fuck. I climb on top of the blue-eyed cutie claiming her as mine for now.