Gravity

by Amanda Miga

  “Sit.”

  The stern sound of him brings back so many memories but not the right ones. I've been scolded by this tone before. I sit in his chair at his writing desk. I'm in awe of him even if he seems not pleased. My dark angel stands tall and majestic before me. I want to reach out to him. I inch to the edge of my seat.

  "You'll have to leave tomorrow."

  I wait for the words to translate into something endearing; something different, but instead the words sink in deep to the pit of my stomach. Uninvited tears flood the rim of my eyes. I'm terrified of what the words mean. Maybe I heard him wrong.

  Red's stoic expression is an indication of the nightmarish meaning of those words. They unfold in my mind. His arctic stare stabs me without a single spark of warmth, cutting into me. My heart is now bleeding out. What have I done to deserve such a cold Red.

  "I don't understand," I whimper.

  Red is emotionless. There must be a reason for the icy demeanor.

  “Red?”

  “Arrangements have been made. You'll be on your own." He says this while looking me in the eyes.

  I sob, confirming my understanding of what he means. He’s decided to throw me away. "I have to leave? What arrangements? I-I don't understand. Did I do something wrong?"

  "No, you did everything right. I thank you for that." Red steps into the sunlight, but he's so luridly unsettling that even the sun can't erase the darkness he emanates. His overwhelming strength is hotter than the sun; more commanding than I've ever felt him before. "Your leave is what's best for everyone. You need time, Violet. We all need time. This is my solution."

  "Solution? Am I a problem?"

  He doesn't answer. I sob, waiting for his eyes to turn back to blue, his face to soften, but the Guardian is overruling his human side. "The boys?"

  "I will keep my promises to them."

  Promises?

  He turns his back on me, receding into the shade. "You'll need to pack tonight. The sooner you go the sooner you can be."

  Be what? I can't form another word.

  "Just be, Violet." He turns his head slightly. "You may go."

  I take a step toward him. Alex wraps his arms around me. He pulls me away as if Red summoned him to do so. I reach out to Red, but Alex drags me out. I wrestle in his arms. "Let go of me! Please, don't do this! Please, don't do this!"

  Dash and Gabriel stand helplessly crying in the living room. Were they ordered to do nothing?

  "Violet, calm down!" Alex continues to drag me to Grey's room, where he lets go. My body collapse to the floor. Alex kneels beside me. "Violet—"

  "Go away!" I curl up into a ball on the rug Grey once touched me—the fur rug Red held me safely in his arms. My fingers dig into the soft fur. His embrace—will I ever feel his love again?

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Violet

  I open the door a crack. The boys are sitting except Gabriel who's pacing. I've never heard Gabriel shout before. "This is ridiculous. There's nothing out there." Gabriel stops to face Alex who sitting on the sofa with his arms crossed and Dash with his head down. "She can't go. Grey will go after her."

  "Red will watch her. He said it was for the best." Alex sounds confident as usual.

  "He's fucking out of his mind to let her go," Gabriel shouts.

  "Gabriel, your voice," Dash raises his head.

  "I don't care if he hears me," Gabriel growls.

  "Keep it down for Violet's sake," Dash sighs. “Have faith that Red knows what’s best."

  "Why?" Gabriel voice trembles. "Anything she does out there she can do in here. Is it because of me?" Gabriel rubs his elbow.

  Poor Gabriel; he always thinks everything is his fault.

  "Red says she needs the time on her own to grow." Dash says softly. "I agree with that. She hasn't experienced the real world on her own. Red said it's necessary. She needs something linear."

  Linear?

  "It will be good for her."

  What else did Red tell them?

  Gabriel shakes his head. "I don't believe this. It looks like he could care less what happens to her. It's obvious he doesn't want her." Gabriel's words hang in the air. Dash and Alex are unable to hide the hopelessness on their faces. They want me to stay.

  I shut the door. It's obvious he doesn't want her... Could Gabriel be right? Has Red changed his mind? Maybe he doesn't want me. Maybe I'm too much trouble. Maybe that's the real reason why I have to leave.

  A knock at the door makes me jump back.

  "Vi, it's me." Alex says. "I know you heard us."

  I let him in with tears streaming down my face.

  "I'm sorry." Alex says. His amber eyes glisten in the light. He's holding back. He looks to my bed where my packed bags sit.

  "I'll get them." He walks pass me. "So this is your room..."

  "Yeah, my room." I turn to Alex. The empty room I hadn't seen since Red and Grey left had come back just for me to leave it again.

  "You know, it won't be forever, Vi"

  "Did Red tell you that?"

  "Not exactly."

  The little hope for ever living in the Sanctuary again is doused. I leave the cabin with Alex close behind. Red and the others stand outside. Dash stares down at the dirt and Gabriel hides in his hoodie. I worry that Red's unreadable face seems to be the only face I get to see. It's just as terrible as Grey's cry for me, which I'm haunted by.

  We begin our walk to the gate. Alex places his hand on my shoulder, but his warmth doesn't reassure me anything. The sight of Red's back to mine feels so uninviting. I stare at the side where he bled and I healed him. Those arms at his sides wrapped around me once, will they ever again? We pass the lake reflecting the clear sky. There is no sign of an unhappy Red. Is he not sad to see me go?

  She turns to see Dash and Gabriel dragging their feet. They don't want this either. Gabriel looks up briefly and the sight of tears on his cheek brings me to tears. This isn't fair. Alex walks at my side. His golden hair and his amber eyes bring a small smile to my face. His warm smile says it's okay. But is it? What will I do by myself? Who will help me out there? I'll be alone again and that's so frightening.

  Red halts at the gate. His eyes are blue but don't hold that special sweetness. Why is he doing this?

  I know what comes next. I have to say goodbye to my new friends so soon. Their somber faces look back at me. It tears my heart to pieces.

  Gabriel resorts to disapprovingly crossing his arms. His twisted mouth is the only thing I can see. I don't want it to be that last thing I see of that beautiful boy.

  "Gabriel."

  He unfurls his arms and removes his hood. His face softens for me and his eyes grow expectant. I turn to Red for approval to approach. He shakes his head. I can't touch him and he can't touch me. Looking back at Gabriel, our eyes lock. He begs for something, anything. I approach anyway.

  "Violet." Red's cold deep voice warns me with a chill up my spine.

  I stop in my tracks. I mouth to him I'm so sorry. Gabriel turns to Red with a resentful glare.

  Red sighs. He's touch me before. What's one more hug going to do? Gabriel goes to move to me but Red stops him and pulls him back. Gabriel yanks free of Red's hand. For a moment It feels like the pressure in the atmosphere changes. Red's blue eyes flicker darkly.

  "But he's hurting," Violet says.

  Red says nothing.

  Gabriel scornful eyes Red as another reason to resent him makes his list.

  My heart aches for a proper goodbye as Gabriel places his hood back on. He quickly walks away heading straight for the Black forest.

  "Gabriel." I whimper. Gabriel runs until he disappears into the forest.

  He'll be fine. Alex tries to sooths.

  Dash stands with his hands in his pocket. He looks as awkward as the day I first met him. But behind the glasses his hidden olive-green eyes meet mine and I can see he holds so much inside of him. Red will help him bring that out. I go to him and I don't hesitate to embrace him. He trembles. I
squeeze him tighter. A tiny whimper and kiss on his cheek before I pull away. His cheeks are flaming red. He quickly places his hands in his pockets and his body stiffens again.

  "Goodbye Dash."

  He blinks and his tears fall down his cheek. "Bye."

  "Violet." Red's voice is softer than it has been. The hardness in his eyes are been replaced with sadness. He takes my hand pulls me closer but it's not close enough. I want to fall in his arms. I want an embrace, but he keeps me at arm's length, ignoring everyone that's watching. I melt instantly. "You'll always be a part of this family. You will always be part of me. I'll never leave you." He strokes my cheek, "But you must understand I want you to grow."

  All the doubts vanished. He loves me still. I can see it; feel it under my skin. I smile up at him. He wants me to see people, life, he wants me to live, to work and play. "How long?"

  "However long it takes." His lips kiss my forehead gently. The energy serge is more like lighting striking my skin; a fast burn and a pleasurable after shock. I forgot what I was sad about. His kiss sends me waves of comfort. I refocus.

  "What about Grey?"

  "Don't worry about him. I will be watching over you. You'll be protected." He sweeps hair from my face with an adoring smile. "Grey will be protected."

  It's exactly what I wanted to hear.

  Alex picks up my suitcases, displaying a curious smile. It isn't a goodbye smile. His lips curl as if he can't wait to tell my something. His amber eyes widen with excitement. I can't help but smile back. His happiness is contagious but not lasting. The emptiness inside of my chest is growing by the second. I'll need another kiss from Red, but that will be impossible.

  "Come on I've been assigned to show you your new place."

  I look to Red who nods. With one last look at Dash, Red and the beautiful Sanctuary as the backdrop behind them, I can't help but wonder how long will it be until I see it again? It seems in the back of my mind I won't be here for a long time. Enough time for things to change. This makes me sad. When will I see Gabriel smile again? Dash's kindness? Alex's sweetness? Red. When will I see him for more than two days? It doesn't seem fair to leave, yet I feel I have to. The reason is so unclear. Can't I grow in the Sanctuary? I believe that Red has a purpose for me. I trust him. I love him—even after this.

  Red's face has become unreadable again. All hints of emotion have vanished from his beautiful face.

  One last wave and a kiss to the air for Gabriel, I walk through the gate and out of the mahogany mirror. The Real world. The magic is gone. I can feel the weight on my shoulders get heavier with every step I take behind Alex. Making my way through the building, the pain grows in my chest. Alex stops and turns to me.

  "Vi, Look at me." He places my bags down and places his hands on my shoulders. "It's okay. It's going to be okay." His eyes are sincere. He's smiling as usual. "You can do this. You have nothing to be afraid of."

  "I'll be alone."

  "You'll never be alone."

  ***

  Violet

  Alex pulls up in red car I have never seen before. Alex drives? It's strange because I don't remember ever riding in a car. What other things will I do that I don't remember ever doing before. The memory of my past is still lost. I have questions but how will I ask him.

  We start moving and Alex takes my hand. It's comforting for a while as the drive across the city, but Alex won't be coming with me. I'll be living alone. I hold on tight until we pull up to an apartment building. After climbing the stairs Alex opens door 22-D. "This is it." Alex places my suitcases on the bed. The studio apartment is small and perfect for me. One room with everything I need, except people. They’ll be no one again.

  "So you know rents paid first of the month. Red covered five months so you can get settled in a job.”

  Five months! He expects me to be here five months?

  “Here's some important cards, docs you'll need, cash and he opened a bank account for you." Alex let out a long sigh.

  Bank account? What do I do with that? What am I supposed to do?

  "Violet, it's okay."

  It's easy for him to say. He's lived in the real world. I look at his sweet face wondering when will be the next time we'll see each other. We only just met and now I have to say goodbye.

  "Just take one day at a time. He'll be watching every step of the way." Alex tilts his head.

  I manage a smile but it turns on me. "Okay." I wipe my tears.

  "I'm not happy to see you go, Vi. It's just I got a glimpse of what's ahead that's all."

  "Glimpse?"

  "Red. He shared a few things with me."

  "And..."

  "And you'll see." His smug face makes me feel a little better. This must be the reason why he's seemed happier than the others. He's not so sad to see me leave.

  "Vi, of course I don't want you to go."

  I hug him, squeezing the air out of his lungs. "Thank you. I'm going to miss you."

  "I'm going to miss you too. I miss you already." We embrace and I'm glad Red can't tell me that I shouldn't or that we're hugging too long. Alex kisses the top of my head. He hands over the key to my new place.

  "Bye, Alex."

  He goes to leave but turns around with a curious smile. "No. Sweet Dreams, Violet."

  # # #

  About The Author

  Amanda Miga lives on Long Island, NY with her husband, John Miga and her two cats Smudge and Cricket. When she's not writing she's watching movies or listening to music, finding inspiration for The Sanctuary series and other fictions in the works.

  Connect with Me Online:

  Blog: mandyswritingdesk.blogspot.com

  Twitter: @MandyMiga

  www.smashwords.com/profile/view/mandymiga