No Shame

by Nora Phoenix

  Noah spotted them leaving, raised his eyebrows. Blake winked. Noah would know where he and Aaron were headed, no doubt, and Blake didn’t care.

  Aaron beelined straight for the fuck stalls, where they did indeed beat the crowds and walked straight in. Blake locked the door, and when he turned around, Aaron had lowered his jeans, and stood bent over at the sink. He’d kicked off one leg of his jeans, so he could spread his legs.

  Blake would smile, but he didn’t want Aaron to take it the wrong way. He should never experience shame over his needs. Instead, Blake grabbed lube from his wallet.

  “Do you have it bad, puppy?” His voice was warm, kind. “I’m gonna take care of you.”

  Aaron whimpered in response, his eyes closed, and his body trembling.

  Blake lubed up his cock as fast as he could, didn’t bother to grease Aaron’s hole. When he was like this, he didn’t need it. He’d want to feel it, would welcome the burn.

  “I’m here. Hold tight.”

  He entered him hard, not stopping till he’d bottomed out. Aaron’s moan bordered on a scream, but it wasn’t in pain. It was relief. Blake pulled out almost entirely, drove back in hard.

  “Blake!” Aaron’s voice broke.

  He held Aaron’s hips as he fucked him hard and deep, exactly as he had promised. Aaron came in under a minute, but Blake didn’t stop. He was nowhere near done, and neither was Aaron.

  He didn’t speak, the only sounds audible the slaps of his body against Aaron’s as he fucked him, the slicking sounds of his wet cock in Aaron’s channel, and the music that filtered through the doors. People were talking loudly outside, so a line was forming of people who wanted to fuck as well. Well, they’d have to wait until he was done.

  The second time, Aaron did actually scream, and outside people laughed and commented. Blake didn’t give a shit. He released the tight hold he’d had on his own needs and came without making a sound, his orgasm barreling through him.

  Aaron shuddered, still breathing hard. “You good now?” Blake asked.

  “Yeah.”

  Blake smiled now, wiping off his cock with a hand towelette. Aaron pulled his jeans up without cleaning himself. He loved the sensation of cum in his ass, he’d told Blake once. There was something inherently dirty about it, but Blake loved knowing that he’d marked him. Aaron would feel him the rest of the night, and somehow, that was deeply satisfying.

  When he was dressed again, Aaron turned around, his face devoid of the stress he’d shown earlier. “Thank you,” he said.

  Blake grabbed his head, kissed him deeply. “Always. I love fucking you, and I love taking care of you even more. I love you, puppy.”

  Aaron all but melted against him. “I love you, too.”

  Epilogue

  One Hundred Days Later

  Indy woke up wrapped around Josh, Noah and Connor already up. Josh looked at him with beaming eyes, a soft smile playing on his lips. “Good morning, baby.”

  Indy leaned up on his elbow for a kiss. “Good morning… Did you sleep well or were you as excited as I was?”

  Josh grinned. “It feels like Christmas morning to me.”

  “I know, right? It’s the weirdest feeling…” Indy leaned in for another kiss, then disentangled himself from Josh.

  Indy looked around their bedroom as he threw on some sweatpants and a shirt. The contractor had done an amazing job with the renovation. He had added a few square feet to the former in-law wing, making it big enough for the huge bed they’d ordered custom-made. They had also added a second shower to the bathroom, and had created a second walk-in closet.

  And, of course, he’d built a play room Josh and Connor made good use of. Indy still couldn’t stand to watch when Connor whipped or caned Josh, even though he knew Josh craved it, but he loved seeing the bliss Josh experienced afterward.

  It had become their sanctuary, this house, and especially this room. They’d all found their place, both literally and figuratively. Noah and Connor on the outsides of the bed with Indy and Josh in the middle. Indy loved that whenever he woke up, someone was always holding him, touching him. Josh’s nightmares were gone for good, too.

  On the other side of the house, the contractor had built another wing, slightly smaller than this one, but roomy enough to comfortably house Miles, Brad, and Charlie. Watching the three of them making their relationship work had been a joy.

  Brad had rebelled hard at times, and Miles had patiently been there for him. Even Noah and Connor had stepped up at times to give Brad the stability and discipline that he needed. Miles had to go through a week training upstate a few weeks ago, and Connor had taken over Brad’s daily morning spanking to make sure Brad knew he was not invisible. It was heartwarming to see that Brad was slowly, but surely getting better at trusting he was loved and wanted.

  Charlie had blossomed into a sassy, spunky, but super sweet guy whose biggest joy was loving his two men. He loved his job as a beauty consultant, and still did monthly performances at Flirt.

  Indy sighed as he thought of Miles. The former FBI agent was developing a counseling practice working with teens. Recently, he’d been asked by the school district to help train teachers in recognizing mental health issues in students, and Indy couldn’t have been prouder of the man.

  It was also clear that Brad wasn’t the only one who loved having a family again. Miles had become close with Noah and Connor, the three of them hanging out a lot. Miles and Noah loved having long conversations about psychology, Miles cheering Noah on every chance he got for Noah to finish his degree. The safety Miles experienced at home, being able to be himself, had made a huge difference for him as well. And he doted on Charlie and Brad, the love between the three of them healing for all.

  “You ready?” Josh asked, snapping Indy out of his thoughts.

  “Yeah.” He sighed. “They’re gonna react well, right?” His stomach rolled a little.

  Josh quickly closed the distance between them and gave him a gentle hug. “You really worried about that?”

  Indy’s stomach settled as Josh’s hug steadied him. “A little.” His voice sounded muffled, his mouth against Josh’s shirt.

  Josh let go and grabbed his chin. “Indy, Noah loves you. Don’t you ever doubt that. And you know he’s more than fine with us.”

  Indy nodded. He did know—on a rational level. Still, there was this flutter in his stomach, this deep-down fear that Noah would reject him anyway. “Let’s go,” he said, not wanting to bring Josh down. “We’ve got a plan to execute.”

  His nerves wouldn’t go away the rest of the day. When they started the preparations for the barbecue party, they were back in full swing. He pushed them down as he let Aaron and Blake in, helped set everything up outside, then prepared the side dishes with Josh, Aaron eager to help as well.

  It was a gorgeous autumn day, the sky crystal blue with soft white wisps of clouds in the distance. The men were laughing and eating, catching up and joking around. Aaron was at Blake’s feet, more confident than ever before. He was excelling at his new job, making local and even statewide headlines for his work. Brad was playing chess with Noah, Max sleeping at his feet as usual, while Connor and Miles were talking about Connor’s job at the school district, Charlie content to simply sit on Miles’ lap.

  Indy felt Josh behind him before he saw him, then Josh’s arms came around him. “You ready, baby?”

  Indy nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

  Josh handed him the small box, and hand in hand they made their way to their family, their tribe.

  “Everyone,” Josh said, then waited till the conversations had stopped. “Indy and I have something we want to say.”

  He squeezed Indy’s hand, and suddenly those nerves were gone, and Indy’s heart filled with so much love it felt like it would burst.

  “I don’t know if you realized what day it is today, Noah,” he said.

  Noah frowned, shook his head.

  “It’s exactly a year ago that I met you and Josh,
and even Connor for the first time.”

  Recognition lit up on Noah’s face, and he smiled, but stayed silent, sensing apparently that Indy had more to say.

  “In hindsight, that was the best day of my life, even if I didn’t realize it at the time. Meeting you changed my life in so many ways, that I can’t even put it into words.”

  “It was the best day of my life, too,” Josh took over. “Because that day changed everything for me, for us. It was the start of a new chapter, and looking back, it’s hard to imagine my life before that day. Meeting Indy was the catalyst for a lot of changes, all of them good. We would not be sitting here with this company, if not for that day.”

  “That doesn’t mean this year was easy, because it wasn’t,” Indy said. “We all paid the price for the crimes of others…and we came damn close to losing some of us. I’ll be forever grateful to what you all have endured and sacrificed because of me.”

  His voice choked, and Josh squeezed his hand again.

  “It was also not easy because all of us, we didn’t take the easy route to love. We found love in unexpected ways and forms, and that was often a struggle in itself,” Josh said. “It’s what makes us a family: to be able to see and accept that love comes in many shapes and forms. And no one knows that better than Connor and Noah, who had the courage to set Indy and me free.”

  This was it, Indy realized. This was the cue he and Josh had agreed on. Peace descend in his heart, as he let go of Josh and reached for that small box. They kneeled at the same time, and an audible gasp sounded in the garden as the others realized what was happening.

  Indy opened the small box at the same time Josh did, and they both held it out to their men.

  “Noah Flint, I love you more than words can say, and I want nothing more than to have your name. Will you marry me?”

  Next to him, Josh repeated his words for Connor. Then all Indy could see was Noah’s face, lighting up like the sun, radiating with so much love it would’ve brought Indy to his knees if he hadn’t been there already.

  “Yes! Oh, yes, Indy, hell yes.”

  Noah came out of his chair, dragged Indy to his feet and kissed him senseless. Those strong arms held him so tight it felt as if Noah never wanted to let go.

  “God, I love you,” Noah breathed in his ear. He leaned back. “Are you sure this is what you want? I wanted to ask you a hundred times already, but I didn’t want to make you feel like you had to choose between me and Josh.”

  Similar words were uttered by Connor at the same time, and Indy and Josh smiled at each other. They’d guessed it right when they had discussed it.

  “We both agreed that we want your names. For us, it’s enough to be together. We don’t need anything else. But we want to make it official with you,” Indy said.

  “We’ll do it together,” Noah said with a quick look at Connor. “Right, Connor? Same day wedding, the four of us.”

  Connor nodded, his eyes suspiciously moist. “There’s nothing that would make me happier.”

  Then they kissed and hugged, and the others stepped into congratulate with even more hugs and kisses, and Indy’s heart swelled inside his chest.

  He’d found love when he never expected it.

  He’d found a family he’d never dared imagine.

  Life was pretty damn good.

  Meet Nora

  When she was a little tot, Nora’s mom got a library subscription for her. That, as they say, was that, and a lifelong love for books was born. Nora never stopped reading and doesn’t exaggerate when she says she devours books, rather than plain reads them. She started writing stories as soon as she could hold a pen. She wrote her first full book as a teen (on a typewriter!), but waited waaaay too long to follow her dream to become a published romance author.

  Nora writes M/M romance, because hello, sexy boys, and likes her men flawed, strong, and a tad broken. She appreciates a little kink but insists on a happy ever after.

  If you want first dibs on freebies, updates on new books, announcements of sales and more, sign up for Nora’s Newsletter. No spamming your email inbox full, promise.

  Come hang out with Nora in her Facebook group Nora’s Nook where she shares previews, sneak peeks, freebies, and much more: https://www.facebook.com/groups/norasnook/

  You can also stalk her on Twitter and Goodreads, where she shares tons of reviews of M/M romances.

  And please, leave reviews of the books you read and loved (including this one, hopefully). It’s the most helpful thing you can do for an author!

  Ballsy Boys Preview

  Don’t miss the exciting new series by Nora Phoenix and K.M. Neuhold: the Ballsy Boys Series. Ballsy Boys Productions is the hottest gay porn studio in LA, and we follow its leading men on their journey toward love. Will Rebel, Tank, Brewer, Campy, Heart, and Pixie find their forever love?

  Rebel, the first book in the Ballsy Boys Series, will be released January 31st 2018. Grab it now! And check out the next page for an exclusive first preview of Rebel!

  For a free preview of this series, check out the free prequel/introduction on Instafreebie: https://instafreebie.com/free/so1mA

  Here’s the blurb:

  Meet the men of Ballsy Boys Productions— Rebel, Tank, Brewer, Heart, Campy, and Pixie— the hottest gay porn stars in LA. They seem like they have it all: fame, money, and lots of good times, but what about love?

  Join these sexy, cocksure men as they journey through love, lust, friendship...and of course, a whole lot of what porn stars do best.

  Ballsy is the 5500-word introduction/prequel to the Ballsy Boys Series, a super sexy MM romance series with plenty of good times. While this series do contain some instances of sex outside of the main relationships, they DO NOT contain cheating.

  (Turn the page for an exclusive first preview of Rebel)

  Preview of Rebel

  Troy

  My stiff muscles twitch and spasm, letting me know I slept in one spot way too long last night. Which can only mean one thing… Someone broke my rule and slept over.

  I close my eyes and say a silent prayer for patience, before rolling over to figure out who the fuck I took to bed last night, and what gave him the dumbass idea he could break my rules and spend the night?

  Beside me is a cute little twink I’m sure I had a blast fucking last night. And the taste of garbage tequila in my mouth lets me know why I can’t remember a damn thing.

  “Hey,” I rasp giving his shoulder a little shake. “Um…” Fuck, I don’t have the first clue what his name is. “Dude, get up.”

  He grumbles and rubs his face. When his eyes blink open, his expression goes from sleepy and annoyed to sultry. “Good morning, stud. You want another round and then we can talk about breakfast?”

  “No, man. You’ve gotta go.”

  His eyes harden and his lips pucker into a full-on bitch fit face. “Sorry,” he spits out sarcastically.

  I settle back and watch as he gets dressed in a huff and then stomps out of my apartment without a backward glance.

  I’m not always so dickish, but there’s an art to severing ties with someone. Not everyone needs to be dumped the same. Some need a gentle hand, others to be tricked into thinking it was their idea, and some people need to be told to fuck right off afterward.

  Maybe I know too much about cutting someone out and not enough about getting anyone to stick around.

  I sit up and attempt to roll the tension out of my shoulders. When that doesn’t work, I reach for my laptop. While it starts up, I get comfortable beneath the cool sheets. I reach down and give my semi-hard cock a lazy stroke.

  My screen comes to life, and I click immediately on my favorite site, saved to the favorites bar. Ballsy Boys, the best damn gay porn site in existence.

  A little shiver goes through me as the crystal blue, virtual eyes of Rebel meet mine. I was hooked on Rebel from first sight. His broad shoulders and stubble covered jaw got my dick hard with nothing more than a glance.

  When he fucks, he gets
this passionately tortured expression that drives me fucking insane. I could get caught up for hours watching his toned ass flex as he thrusts into a greedy hole. And his moans, oh, his moans are otherworldly.

  My stomach jumps with excitement when I spot a newly uploaded video labeled Rebel Tries Fleshjacking.

  Be still my beating heart.

  I click on it and Rebel’s shy smile fills the screen. I’ve wondered if this is really the way Rebel is or if this is just a character. And if this is a character, who is he really? I know Rebel isn’t his real name, but what do his friends and real-life lovers call him? Does he fuck the same off-camera as he does on, or is that an act too?

  “So, tell me Rebel, have you ever used a fleshjack before?” an off-screen voice asks as Rebel holds up the box to the camera to show off whatever name brand toy payed for the publicity.

  “No, I’ve never had trouble finding a willing partner,” Rebel banters.

  “Are you excited to see how it feels?”

  “Yeah, I’ve heard it feels better than the real thing. If that’s the case maybe I’ll give up getting out of bed all together.” He winks at the camera and my cock thickens under my unhurried playing.

  Rebel answers a few more questions, but I tune out the chatter and focus on his full lips wishing like hell I could feel them wrapped around my cock.

  Maybe Ballsy Boys is hiring, that would pay for the rest of my degree. Then I’d get paid and get the chance at fucking or getting fucked by Rebel. Not a bad idea.

  It’s a throw-away notion. I can’t see doing porn myself, and who knows how it could affect my future prospects in video game development. In many ways these days being a game designer is a public persona, and with all the judgement and political correctness it’s easier to avoid a misstep as epic as fucking on camera. Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with doing porn, but unfortunately the world doesn’t always see it that way.