Kiss Me When I'm Dead

by Dominic Piper

  ‘Sakura. Listen. Keep the gun aimed at his head. If he turns to face you or says anything smart, shoot him. Then shoot the other guy. You can guess who these two are. They’ve got Viola and her mother in here; they’re both dead and they’re both embalmed. They’re behind you next to the door. Don’t turn around and look at them, at least not yet. Keep your mind on Mr Fisher here. Don’t let anything distract you.’

  She nods. She looks a little sick and I can see she’s perspiring. I just hope she’s not going to have one of her attacks. I get the feeling that she doesn’t quite know what she should do next, so I’m going to have to step in, despite the fact that I’m helpless and semi-delirious.

  ‘Now listen carefully, you two pricks. You have to imagine that that gun is in my hand. I’m sure it doesn’t require a great stretch of the imagination to guess what I would do if either of you made a move I didn’t like. If I tell this lady to shoot you, she’ll shoot you. Do you understand?’

  Both men nod their heads, which to be truthful, I didn’t expect.

  ‘Get over to the wall and get down on your knees facing me, hands behind your head. Now.’

  They walk over to the wall on my left-hand side and do what they’re told. So far so good. Raleigh keeps looking at Fisher, willing him to do something heroic and marvellous. Fisher doesn’t meet his boss’s gaze, keeping his eyes on Sakura and the gun, occasionally glancing at me with hate-filled eyes. He’s trying to look relaxed and cool, but he’s like a coiled spring. This is going to have to be sorted out fast.

  Sakura licks the sweat off her upper lip. There’s an almost imperceptible trembling in the arm that’s pointing the gun and I’m sure Fisher has noticed.

  ‘Good. Now listen, Sakura. In a moment, you’re going to have to do something for me, but you’re going to have to keep your eye on those two with the same level of focus you’ve got now.’

  She nods her head again. The gun is still pointed at Fisher, who I can see she rightly perceives as the greatest threat.

  ‘These two are in a desperate situation and they’re waiting for a break in your concentration so they can grab the gun and overpower you. That must not happen. I want you to come over to my right-hand side and get my key ring out of my right trouser pocket.’

  She walks backwards towards me, gun still raised and aimed at Fisher’s head. I can feel my heart thumping in my chest. When she’s close enough for me to smell that musky perfume, she slowly slides a hand into my pocket.

  ‘No funny business, Sakura.’

  ‘As if I would.’

  She dangles the key ring from one of her fingers.

  ‘See those two grey metal strips? One of them has a serrated edge. You’re going to use that serrated edge to saw through the plastic tie that’s around my wrists. You’ll only need to saw through it once and it’ll fall off. It’s going to be tricky, but you mustn’t look at the wrist tie when you’re sawing through it. Don’t worry if you accidentally cut me. Keep looking at our two friends there. Keep aiming the gun at them. Once more, if they move, shoot them; and keep shooting.’

  These words are not particularly for Sakura. They’re for the benefit of Raleigh and Fisher. I have to keep reinforcing the idea that they’re in imminent danger of meeting whichever supernatural being they worship.

  Sakura finds the right metal strip and holds it between two fingers.

  ‘You’re going to have to squat down while you do this. Try not to lose your balance. If it’s easier for you, you can rest the butt of the gun against my thigh to keep it stable if you have to fire. Now try and saw through the plastic. Just keep your aim steady.’

  She squats down beside me and keeps the gun pointing in the right direction, never taking her eyes off her targets for a second. She’s very good. Apart from looking a little green around the gills, she seems totally in control and is actually quite scary, her cold expression contrasting with the beauty of that unique face. If I was Fisher right now, I’d definitely think twice before trying anything. She turns her head a little to the right and gets a good view of Viola and Rosabel.

  ‘Oh God, Daniel.’

  ‘I know. I know. Keep it out of your mind for now. Concentrate on this.’

  I can feel the metal strip against the inside of one of my wrists as she fiddles around trying to find the right position and angle. There is a quicker way of getting this type of tie off by lifting the locking bar with a credit card or something, but you need two hands for that, so it has to be this method.

  I look over at Anjukka and give her what I hope is a reassuring glance, while putting as much pressure as I can on the plastic tie with my wrists. The position that Sakura has to be in is giving her problems with the sawing action that’s required. She wobbles a couple of times and I’m afraid she’ll lose her balance and drop the gun, but after a minute I can feel the plastic snap apart and my hands are free.

  ‘OK. That’s good. Now you can stand up again. Keep your attention on those two. Don’t fall asleep.’

  ‘I knew I shouldn’t have taken all those Valium.’

  She smiles at me, but she’s not looking at all well. Not surprising, really. She’s had a traumatic, exhausting day, has just seen the embalmed corpse of a former lover and it’s barely the evening. She stands up and places the key ring on my leg.

  As I try to rub some feeling back into my wrists, fingers and hands, I can see Fisher staring at her with total contempt. He turns towards Raleigh.

  ‘This bitch is the pimp. He called her Sakura. That’s the name on the site. Sakura Bianchi. She’s the one who’s been pimping your daughter to fucking lesbians. It’s a fucking disgrace. It’s fucking disgusting.’

  Raleigh’s face goes dark red, but he doesn’t say anything. Fisher shouts at Sakura.

  ‘You better put that gun down, girly. You’re in enough shit as it is. You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into here.’

  Sakura ignores him. I don’t.

  ‘Tell him to shut up, Raleigh, or I’ll get her to shoot your girls over there.’

  ‘You wouldn’t dare,’ says Raleigh angrily.

  ‘Oh, wouldn’t I?’

  I’d expected to see some cuts on my wrists, but there are only deep red and purple marks. I still can’t articulate my fingers properly. I’m just about capable of taking the serrated tool on my key ring and starting on the ties around my ankles.

  Once those are out of the way, I attempt standing up for the first time in God knows how long. I feel woozy and faint as I straighten up, but I know that will pass. Most of the pain I’m feeling is in my abdomen and face, plus some residuals in my back, but it’s fading with every second that passes, or it better be. I can’t wait to see my face in a mirror.

  I take the gun off Sakura and quickly look it over. The safety was on, which went unnoticed by Fisher. I click it off. I check the magazine and it’s fully loaded. It isn’t in very good condition and hasn’t been oiled for a while. I’ve never liked guns that aren’t maintained properly. They can be a menace. I can see Fisher watching me with curiosity.

  For the first time I wonder where Sakura got this gun from. Raleigh said it was his, but I can’t imagine that she got hold of it here. If he has guns on the premises, they’d all be locked up. I wonder where she took Eleanor. Wherever it was, is that where she got the gun from? And where is Eleanor now? I just hope she’s safe somewhere.

  I look around hoping that there’ll be some more wrist ties like the ones they used on me, but I can’t see anything. I’m sure there are some somewhere in the house, but I’m not going to waste any time looking.

  ‘So what are you going to do now, Beckett?’ sneers Fisher. ‘Are you going to execute us? I don’t think you’ve got the balls.’ He turns to Raleigh. ‘I don’t think he’s got the balls, do you, sir?’

  ‘For God’s sake stop it, Fisher,’ Raleigh mumbles. ‘You heard what he said.’

  ‘Yeah, I heard what he said. That’s probably all he’s got the balls for; shooting dead women.’


  ‘Fisher!’

  The next thing I have to do is untie Anjukka. I’m still a bit too flipped out to have a clear plan yet, but the first thing I think I have to do is get Anjukka and Sakura out of here. What I’m then going to do with Raleigh and Fisher I have no idea.

  I hand the gun back to Sakura. ‘As before. Any sudden movements, kill them both. Aim for the centre of the chest.’

  ‘You honestly think she’ll kill us, Beckett?’ Fisher’s hands are slipping away from the back of his head and are no longer making contact with any part of it.

  ‘As you were, Fisher. Hands on the back of your head.’

  ‘You people don’t know anything about killing. It’s people like me who have to dirty their hands with killing, to protect scum like you.’

  I crouch down in front of Anjukka and rest both hands on her thighs. ‘I’m going to take that tape off your mouth, but I’m going to have to take it off in one quick sweep, otherwise it’ll be murder. OK?’

  She silently agrees. I try to take one of the corners in between my fingers. It takes a few attempts as there’s little feeling in them still. ‘I’m going to count to three.’ I rip the tape off on two.

  ‘You bastard.’

  ‘Had to be done. Are you OK?’

  ‘I think so.’

  She looks terrible, but then I guess I’m no oil painting at the moment, either. I get behind her and am about to saw through her wrist and ankle ties, when I realise that I can lift the locking bars and use the ties on Raleigh and Fisher. I should have thought of that before I cut through the ones on my ankles, but I was in a hurry.

  I take a credit card out of my wallet and start work. This would be considerably easier if I had more feeling in my fingers, and it’s like trying to play the piano wearing thick gardening gloves.

  ‘Daniel.’

  I look over to Sakura. She doesn’t look at all well. Because of the state I’m in, this isn’t going as fast as it should be.

  ‘Hold on, babe.’

  Eventually, I manage to flip open the locking bar on the plastic tie that’s around Anjukka’s wrists. I put the tie on the floor for later use. Fisher is still working on Sakura. I start fumbling with the ties around Anjukka’s ankles. The feeling in my fingers has improved, but it’s still taking me a frustrating amount of time to do this.

  ‘Hey! You!’ bellows Fisher. ‘You Japanese whore or whatever fucking nationality you’re meant to be. You stupid bitch. All of this is your fucking fault. Your fucking girlfriend over there. Your whore. Have you had a good look at her yet? Go on – take a look at how sexy she is now.’

  This seems to be having more of an effect of Raleigh than it does on Sakura, though I know it must be difficult for her not to look at Viola. It was looking at her that got me a blast from that stun gun.

  ‘There’s no need for that, Fisher,’ Raleigh says. ‘And don’t refer to Viola as a whore. Remember your place.’

  But Fisher can’t help himself.

  ‘If she’s not a whore, what is she? I want her pimp to take a good fucking look at her. She how she’s ended up. I bet the two of them were at it, as well. Is that how it was, Mrs Bianchi? Are you a fucking lesbian whore as well?’

  I know what he’s doing and he’s getting on my nerves now. Maybe he’s not trying to goad her. Maybe he’s in serious denial about who it was that set Viola up in that hotel in the first place.

  Anjukka rubs both of her wrists in turn, then takes her ruined bra off and throws it on the floor, doing up the front of her ripped dress as well as she can. My hands are shaking and it’s difficult to get the edge of the credit card into the lock. The ties they’ve used on her ankles are slightly different from the one they used on her wrist.

  ‘Go on, Mrs Bianchi. Take a good fucking look at your best girl!’

  I’ve freed one of Anjukka’s ankles and start on the last tie. I have to admit it; these things are really good. Much better than rope. I look up at Sakura. The hand that she’s holding the gun in is shaking badly. Fisher is aware. She has tears in her eyes and she’s white and sweating profusely.

  ‘Oh, boo-hoo,’ gloats Fisher like a five-year-old playground bully. ‘Are we sad, Mrs Bianchi? Is that a couple of thousand a week down the pan? Because that’s all she meant to you, wasn’t it. She was like a prize cow that you milked for money.’

  ‘Fisher!’ Raleigh is getting red-faced with anger. He doesn’t understand what Fisher is trying to do. But I do.

  ‘Sakura. Ignore him. I’ll be there in a couple of seconds.’

  But I don’t have a couple of seconds. In the same moment that I pop the last of Anjukka’s ankle ties, I see Sakura’s attention wander for a micro-second as she wipes the sweat out of her eyes, then I see Fisher make a swift move and see something shiny flash through the air.

  Sakura drops to the floor, clutching the knife that’s in her shoulder. Fisher is fast and he has the gun in his hand a second later. For an awful moment, I think he’s going to shoot her, but he aims the gun at me.

  ‘Hands behind your head, fucker.’

  I do what he says. I have no choice. Sakura is moaning softly. The knife looks like it’s in two inches deep. Good throw. It looks like it’s missed the artery, but I can’t be positive. I just hope she doesn’t try to pull it out.

  This is my fault. I’d taken a cursory glance at Fisher and decided he was weapon-free, but I was thinking about guns, not throwing knives. I should have done the whole thing the other way around. I should have disabled Raleigh and Fisher and then freed Anjukka, but my thinking was muddled. Fuck it. I don’t know what I’m doing. I stand up slowly and put my hands behind my head. I feel pretty nauseous and weak.

  Fisher is looking pleased with himself. He steps over Sakura and gives the knife a vicious kick as he passes by, whether to drive it in deeper or just to cause more pain I can’t tell, but it’s something that I won’t forget, even if he does, and I won’t forget the deep moan of pain that escapes from her mouth.

  I walk backwards so that I’m standing directly in front of Rosabel and Viola. Fisher thinks I’m trying to retreat and allows himself a little sneer; the cowardly private eye afraid of the big army man with the gun. He helps Raleigh up to his feet. Raleigh looks a little rattled by all that has happened, but Fisher is still looking to him for instruction. Despite his air of macho authority, he’s still like a little child, and has to have someone to tell him what to do.

  ‘I thought I could trust you, Fisher,’ says Raleigh, angrily.

  ‘You can, sir. All those things I said about Viola, they were…’

  ‘You called her a whore.’

  ‘Well, sir, with all due respect, that’s what she was. But I was trying to…’

  ‘What are we going to do about all of this, Fisher? This is a damn bloody mess, isn’t it. If your men had done their jobs properly at that bloody tart’s house, none of this would be happening.’

  ‘That’s because of this idiot.’ He waves the gun in my face.

  ‘Well you were the one who thought he’d be a good bet, I seem to recall.’

  ‘Could you not talk about me as if I’m not here?’ I say. ‘It’s extremely rude.’

  Fisher aims the gun at my abdomen. ‘If you don’t want a slow, messy, painful death you’ll shut the fuck up right now. In fact, I don’t really care whether you shut the fuck up or not. I think I’ll just kill you for the pleasure it’ll give me. You’re going to have to die anyway, it may as well be now.’

  Raleigh looks worried. ‘Not until he’s told us where Valentine is, and for God’s sake don’t wave the gun in that direction. You might hit Viola or Rosabel.’

  ‘I’m sorry, sir, but I’m starting to get impatient with this. I’m just doing my job. I have to keep this bastard under control. The fact that he’s standing in front of your wife and daughter is neither here nor there. Besides, a bullet from a gun like this isn’t going to do that much damage. They are already dead, sir, if you don’t mind my bringing it up.’

/>   ‘Well if you’re not going to do anything about it, then I suppose I’ll have to. Keep the gun on him.’

  Raleigh walks towards me. For a second, I can’t imagine what he’s going to do, then I assume he’s going to wheel Rosabel and Viola out of the way.

  ‘Sir. I wouldn’t go near him if I were you.’

  ‘Oh, good God, Fisher. Look at him! He’s in no state to do anything. You’ve been beating him senseless for the last half an hour. He looks like he’s been in a serious road traffic accident. Keep him where he is, by all means and keep the gun on him. I’m just going to get the girls out of harm’s way. Then we can make a decision about what we’re going to do about him and these others.’

  ‘Sir, the best option now is to finish him off. Let me shoot him. I’ll take care of everything. I can make it like he was never here. Same for the bitch. Both of the bitches.’

  Raleigh ignores him.

  ‘Then we can get back on track and find this bloody Valentine girl. Torture it out of him if necessary. And if you think the whore knows anything about it, torture her as well, if she’s still alive.’

  I can see Sakura move, but Fisher is blocking my view of what she’s doing. She’s lying on her side and she’s been so quiet for the last few minutes that I’m worried that she might have died.

  Raleigh is about two feet away from me, and flashes me a look of seething contempt that I personally find really upsetting. Then something strange happens to his face. It’s as if a small, red explosion has erupted from his left eye. I’m sprayed with a sizeable amount of blood and tissue, and so are Viola and Rosabel. It seems as if he’s staring at me with his other eye while his jaw drops down and his mouth hangs open stupidly.

  Then he drops to his knees. Then he falls forwards so his face is in Viola’s lap. Fisher’s eyes are wide with horror. His face is white. He’s grimacing in pain. It looks like he’s turning the gun so that he can look at it side-on. There’s something wrong with his leg. In the distance, I can hear a woman scream.

  I don’t have any idea what’s happened, but something makes me lunge forward and ram my shoulder into Fisher’s chest before he turns the gun in the right direction again. He goes down hard and yelps in pain. The gun goes flying across the room. I don’t understand why he’s hurting so much and I don’t particularly care.