Inking the Wolf: A wolf shifter paranormal romance (Wolves of Crookshollow Book 3)

by Steffanie Holmes

  “I’m done.” Robbie pushed his chair back and picked up his plate. “That was great, thanks.”

  “Okay, but there’s some leftover heaven and hell cake, too—”

  “No, thanks.” Robbie disappeared into the kitchen with his plate. I heard the clatter of it on the bench. When he didn’t emerge again, I realised he must have taken the secret staircase up to his bedroom.

  I guess that talk is going to have to happen now.

  “If he doesn’t want the cake,” Hans said, pushing his plate away, “send it my way.”

  I stood up. “I should go talk to him.”

  “Why?” Rolf grabbed my hand.

  “Because … you’re staying here and I think that upsets him. Apparently some stuff happened before …”

  Rolf stroked my knuckles with his finger. “That was ages ago. Yes, I showed him up a couple of times, but it was his ego I bruised more than his body. We were part of warring packs, it is the nature of the game. We are both on the same side now, and he may need some time to realise that. If I were you, I would just leave him be. It seems like he really wants to be alone.”

  “I don’t know …” I stared into the entrance hall, listening for Robbie somewhere in the house, but all that met my ears was the ticking of that obnoxious grandfather clock.

  Rolf leaned over and filled my glass again. “I was thinking you could give me a tour of the house. It’s such a fascinating building, and I want to see what you’ve done. I didn’t get to see much of it during the party.”

  Maybe he’s right. Robbie will come around if I just give him some time.

  “Oh, yes.” Hans jumped up. “I too would like to join this tour. Last time you gave one I was far too drunk to remember anything.”

  I picked up my glass, and headed toward the entrance hall. “Sure. Let’s go.”

  For the next hour, I led the whole group through the rooms, pointing to the new touches Robbie and I had added, and all the crazy artwork my friends had sent in. There were already a few empty spots on the walls from pieces purchased from wedding guests. Rolf asked lots of intelligent questions, and admired all the paintings I’d chosen as my favourites. We spent a long time in front of the wall of portraits on the first floor landing. As allies, Caleb had obviously told him about the ring, and after Serenity, Hans, and the models had wandered off to their rooms, Rolf asked lots of questions about Silvia Sinclair and how our search was going.

  I shrugged. “Honestly, I’ve been so busy with the house and the shop, I haven’t been much help. You should talk to Robbie. He’s the one heading up the research.”

  Rolf snorted. “It seems ridiculous that Caleb has placed him in charge. You know he can barely read, right?”

  “That’s not true.” Robbie was a bit slow, sure, but some people didn’t read fast. I’d seen him read plenty of times, hadn’t I?

  “Are you certain? From what I know, little Robbo never even finished his O levels. His father, Angus, didn’t see the point in his boys getting an education. They just lived in the forest like animals, too busy running the world’s most incompetent werewolf drug ring to even bother to open a book.” Rolf patted his chest. “I was fortunate that my father believed in his cubs getting an education. For this reason, the Wulfrics have pulled ourselves out of the gutter, and we now command the respect of all of Europe.”

  Robbie can’t be that uneducated … it’s impossible … he’s just not … “But he’s so … so polite.”

  “That’s his mother’s influence. She’s a librarian.”

  I jumped as a floorboard at the end of the hall creaked. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the bathroom door was open a crack. One of the others could be in there, listening to us talk about werewolves. Or, it could be Robbie … “I don’t think we should talk about him anymore.”

  “As you wish.” Rolf took my hand and raised it to his lips, brushing them over my fingers. “Goodnight, m’lady.”

  I rolled my eyes. Rolf was a bit silly. He seemed harmless, though. And he’d just told me something unbelievably useful about Robbie, if it was true.

  My mind whirring, I said goodnight to Rolf, fielding his flirtatious invitations with polite mirth. As I shut the door to my own room, and started undressing, my mind turned back to what he’d said about Robbie.

  I knew so little about him, really. Imagine not going to school, not reading books or learning sums or getting into fights on the playground. How could someone grow up without any contact with other kids … and be so kind and courageous about it all? No wonder Robbie had chosen that tiny attic room. I’ve lived my whole childhood in a house like this, surrounded by fancy objects. But he … he didn’t even have a house. He must feel so profoundly uncomfortable with all this privilege around him.

  I stood naked in front of my mirror, feeling like a complete selfish bitch for not figuring this out earlier. Robbie was upstairs in that tiny room … what was he thinking about?

  I touched the edge of my breast, my nipples hardening as I remembered how Robbie’s tongue had worshipped them. He may not be able to read, but Robbie Maclean definitely had talents.

  I think now he might need a little reminding of that.

  Grinning to myself, I pulled on a set of black Agent Provocateur lingerie, wrapped myself in a shimmering kimono, and crept up the attic steps. I knocked on Robbie’s door.

  “I’m asleep,” a muffled voice came from within.

  “This is worth waking up for.” I grinned, pushing open the door.

  Robbie sat on the side of the bed, the blanket wrapped around his naked torso as he stared out the open attic window. As he turned toward me, the shaft of pale moonlight lit up his upper body, highlighting his sharp jaw and the sexy curve of his biceps.

  A cool breeze fluttered the curtains. I dropped the belt of the kimono and it billowed open, revealing my two-piece g-string and longline bra criss-crossed with black straps. Robbie’s eyes bugged out of his head.

  Good. That’s a good reaction.

  Holding my finger to my lips, I climbed in bed beside him. My hands cupped his cheeks, pulling him against me. My lips sought his, burning with heat as they connected with their target. The shiver of energy passed between us as our bodies slammed, our limbs entwining together on the tiny bed.

  Robbie pulled away, his hand stroking my cheek. “I … I thought you wouldn’t come back,” he breathed.

  “Why on earth would you think that?”

  He didn’t answer, just mashed his lips against mine, devouring me with need.

  My own need rose within me, and I fell against him, tearing at the sheets, discarding everything that lay between us until we were skin on skin. His fingers slid behind my back and unhooked the bra, and after some struggling with the straps, he managed to toss it away. Our bodies sizzled with heat. He pulled my g-string to one side, not able to wait even to take it off completely, and entered me. I sighed with pleasure as his immense length slid inside me. Robbie moved slowly, languidly, letting me feel every tiny movement. I lost myself in the sensation of him – his fingers tracing my skin, his scent enveloping mine, the tickle of his stubble on my cheek.

  Our bodies pulsed against each other as the strange energy that consumed us every time we were together cocooned us in erotic heat. Time and space ceased to exist. All that I was lived in his touch, in the rise and fall of our bodies.

  We came together again. The heat exploded through my chest in a supernova of pleasure. The attic room faded away, the peeling paint and rickety brass bed frame disappearing into a deep void into which all my pleasure flowed.

  I emerged from the void, moments or maybe hours later, my body rocked with tremors. Robbie held me in his arms, his body fitting so neatly against mine, like two puzzle pieces slotted together.

  I held his arms against me, ready to fall into him once more. Robbie was so different from every other guy I’d been with. He was … like the best parts of all the kinds of people I loved. Gentle and sweet like a poet, but hard and tough li
ke a warrior.

  He was also a complete mystery. Past conversations of ours run through my head. I thought of all the times I’d watched him read a menu at a restaurant, then order the exact same thing as me. I thought back to the day at the pub when I’d shown him June’s letter and he’d frowned as he read it … or pretended to read it. How he’d been so slow to get through all the archive material for the Benedict Ring search … why did he volunteer if he couldn’t read?

  Why did you hide it from me? Why did you lie? I would have understood.

  I opened my mouth to confront him, but I couldn’t form the words. Moonlight from the waxing moon shone across the tiny bed. What we had here, now, was so perfect, I didn’t want to ruin it.

  Robbie was the one who broke the spell of the moonlight. “Bianca?” His voice, husky and heavy with exhaustion, brushed my ear.

  “Yeah?”

  “What are we?”

  “What do you mean? We’ve human, I guess, although the jury’s still out on you—”

  “No, I mean … us, together. This.” He squeezed me, indicating our naked bodies tangled together.

  “Do we have to give it a name? Does it really matter? Can’t we just be two people enjoying each other’s company.”

  “Can you really live with that? The uncertainty …”

  “That’s the way I do things. I don’t do relationships, Robbie. I never have. Relationships end in marriage, and married people become my parents. I don’t want that. I don’t want stale and stodgy and sleeping in separate beds. I don’t want to be two ships passing in the night. I want excitement and adventure and loud sex and rock’n’roll—”

  “But cannae all that stuff be part of a relationship? The others seem pretty happy … Caleb and Rosa and Elinor and Eric. Hell no one’s more rock’n’roll than Eric. And I’ve lived with Ryan and Alex. Trust me, they’re loud enough to hear even on the other side of Raynard Hall.”

  I giggled. “I don’t doubt it. I’m sure it works for some people. It just isn’t me. You know that, you’ve seen the way I go through partners. I don’t do relationships, period. What’s brought this up?”

  Robbie sighed. “I wish it were that easy for me. I think I need … a label for us, for what this is. I need to know where I stand.”

  “Why? Why is that so important?”

  “It’s important because I … I’ve wanted this for a long time. Since we first met, actually. I never said anything because … well, because I was afraid. Because I never thought you could possibly want me the way I want you. I still don’t.”

  His voice sounded so sad. I hugged his arms tighter to me. “Well, you thought wrong.”

  “Did I?”

  “It took me a while, but I’m totally in this, Robbo.”

  “But you’re not. Not 100%. Be honest, you still want to be able to act like you’re single. You’d still jump Willow in a second if she showed any interest. That’s why you’re flirting with Rolf.”

  “I’m not flirting with Rolf. You’re being ridiculous. Don’t let him get to you.”

  “I want you. I want all of you, Bianca, and I want you to have all of me. I want us to be together.”

  I snorted. “You mean marriage, a house, kids … the whole stupid package.”

  “No, I mean … I want those things too, eventually, in the future. But I never in my wildest dreams imagined they’d be mine. They’re just stories in the few picture books my mother read to me in secret.” Robbie closed his eyes. “You’re not the only one who came from a messed-up family.”

  “Robbie, about your dad—”

  “I dinnae want to talk about him. I dinnae want to think about him, not while we’re here like this.”

  “Okay, but—”

  “Aye, right, you don’t want to end up like your parents. Join the club. But they’re not the only example of marriage out there. Think about Caleb and Rosa, and Luke and Anna, and all the others. We could be just like them. It’s possible we could have our own happy ending.”

  “No,” I whispered. “No, I don’t think it is.”

  The coldness clamped around my heart, those old pains gnawing in my chest. Robbie dropped his arms, rolling over. The tiny space between us became a gaping chasm.

  “Have you heard of fated mates?” he said to the ceiling.

  I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. Tension crackled between us.

  “In order for a shifter male to produce a child who can also shift, he has to mate with a human woman who carries the shifter genes. It’s relatively rare, and so somewhere in shifter history, we came up with a way to pick these woman out. We’re drawn to people who are our perfect genetic match.” Robbie sighed. “You and I are fated mates, Bianca.”

  The coldness crept down my arms, my legs. I opened my mouth to speak, but my throat closed.

  “I felt it as soon as we met – the energy between us. I think you dinnae notice it because … because you have such an energy about you. I think you’re attracted to everyone.” There was a tiny hint of a smile in his voice, but as quickly as it appeared, it was gone. “I didn’t tell you because … I dinnae want to scare you. But I can’t keep quiet about it anymore. That’s what the bite on your neck means. It’s my mark, claiming you as mine. It’s what Rolf is responding to, why he’s trying to take you away from me.”

  “You claimed me?” I rubbed the wound.

  “I couldnae help it. When we came together, it overwhelmed me. Instinct took over. The connection was too powerful to resist.” He turned his head, his eyes burning into mine. “You’re it for me, Bianca. And I just think, we’re already married, and we live together, and we’ve got the sex part down. So what difference does it make if we call this a relationship?”

  He sounded so hopeful. My throat itched, the words fighting against the ice in my veins. I wanted so badly to make him happy, especially now that I knew he’d had so little happiness in his life. But every word he spoke stabbed into me, wounding my pride, my independence, my very core.

  He doesn’t want me. It’s just biology. He thinks he’s in love with me but he’s no different than my parents … it’s all about keeping the bloodlines pure. He claimed me without even telling me what he was doing …

  “I can’t give you what you want, Robbie.” I blinked, forcing the tears from my eyes as I rolled out of bed, and raced from the room, slamming the door behind me.

  Naked and chilly, I fled down the stairs, holding back my sobs until I was safely behind my own door. I sunk to the floor, glaring up at the roses on the walls – staring at me, mocking me. The tears fell thick and fast. I cried for Robbie, because I knew now more than ever that no matter how much I cared about him, I couldn’t be the person he wanted so much.

  20

  Robbie

  I stared out the window at the waxing moon. Only a thin sliver remained dark on one side, and within the next week that sliver would disappear and my inner wolf would be unleashed.

  Even now, he clawed against my skin, already relishing his chance to be free. Soon, I’d become the prisoner as the wolf took over my body. Luckily, there was a forest right outside where I could retreat. Although, Rolf would be heading for the forest as well, and if he crossed my path, I wouldn’t be responsible for what happened.

  Bianca’s words replayed over and over in my head. I can’t give you what you want. How could that be true, when all I wanted was her? How could she not see that I didn’t want to destroy her independence, or quell her strength? Didn’t she believe we could be stronger together?

  You should never have told her about being fated mates. Now it’s too late. You’ve lost her.

  I leaned over and popped the spring on the hidden door, revealing the three shelves that housed Hattie’s collection. I’d been looking at it a lot recently, trying to imagine the girl that had slept in this same bed, every night staring out at the same cold moonlight glinting off her assembled objects, waiting for her opportunity to escape.

  Hattie wouldn’t give up, and neither s
hould I.

  It took many long hours for the glow of the moon to become visible over the dark trees at the edge of the forest. I couldn’t stand remaining in bed any longer. The sheets smelt of Bianca’s spicy scent, the whole room saturated with the memories of her. I needed a distraction.

  I crept down the stairs, thinking that I’d go for a run in the forest. If I embraced the wolf and let him have a few hours of joyful roaming, the agitation of his confinement might be easier to bear. As I passed by Bianca’s room on the way to the main staircase, I couldn’t help pressing my ear to her door. My superior wolf hearing caught the faintest sound – a sob? Yes, there was another one.

  Bianca was crying.

  Bianca never cried.

  I longed to push open the door, wrap her in my arms, and make her pain go away. But I couldn’t. I was the cause of her tears.

  You pushed her. You knew what she’s like about commitment, but still you pushed. And now she’s crying and it's your fault and you’ve lost her … you had your chance and you lost her …

  I tore myself away, and headed for the stairs. Something creaked in the hall, but when I turned around, I couldn’t see anything. I sprinted down the stairs and whipped open the front door, the cool night air brushing against my naked skin. I glanced toward the forest at the foot of the garden. The trees leaned in toward the house, cocooning it in shadows. I dropped to my knees, and set my inner wolf free.

  I gritted my teeth as the change coursed through my body. My bones snapped and reshaped, forming my new body. Searing pain tore up my thighs as my knees turned inward. My fingers and toes dug into the wooden porch as they became paws and claws. Prickles erupted along my skin as the thick hairs of my pelt grew through my skin.

  Behind me, another loud creak sounded from the hall above, but I was too far into my shift to attempt to investigate.

  My nose stung. I watched through the corner of my eye as it elongated, becoming a snout. My eyes shifted to the sides of my face, and my view of the world changed – becoming wide-framed, the colours drab and muted, shades of grey, unremarkable and indistinguishable.