03- The Apostles of Doom

by J. Langland

  “Hello, there,” a voice said. “Who are you and what are you doing here?”

  All four knights rotated to see a demon, a relatively normal-looking one, if there was such a thing, staring at them in shock.

  The knights all quickly moved to en garde positions facing the demon.

  “We are here to rescue your prisoner demon!” Gaius declared.

  “My prisoner? I don’t have a prisoner,” the demon replied, sounding rather offended by the very idea.

  “Your master’s prisoner,” Sir Lady Serah said, vexed.

  “Uhm, my master has no prisoners here. There are no prisoners here.”

  “What do you mean, your master has no prisoners here?” Gadius asked, sounding decidedly puzzled.

  “He’s lying. He is a demon!” Gaius decreed.

  “Excuse me. Have we met? I find your tone quite insulting. Why are you accusing me of lying?” the demon said. “I do not lie. Lying is a good way to get on the bad side of my master. You do not want to be on the bad side of a demon prince.”

  “Your master is a demon prince?” Sir Lady Serah asked, shocked.

  “For kidnappers and home invaders, you are remarkably uniformed about your target, missy,” the demon said, shaking its head.

  “Who is your master, demon?” Sir Samwell demanded.

  “Only the best-dressed demon prince in the Abyss!” the demon declared, turning up its nose in a very haughty manner.

  “Are you going to answer?” Sir Gaius demanded.

  Sir Samwell chuckled. “He did. There is only one demon prince who styles himself thusly.”

  “Who is that?” Sir Lady Serah asked.

  “Asmodeus,” Sir Samwell replied.

  The demon with his nose in the air gave Sir Samwell a curt nod of acknowledgement. “At least you are not all uneducated rubes.” He shook his head.

  “This is a very odd demon!” Gadius declared. “This is not the sort of behavior I would expect from a demon who just ran into four knights in his parlor.”

  “Not my parlor, my master’s parlor—or rather his vassal’s, and it’s not even a parlor, it’s a foyer. Seriously, what sort of thieves, brigands and rogues are we attracting these days!” The demon sniffed loudly with disdain.

  “Doesn’t he seem extremely brave, considering the situation?” Sir Lady Serah asked.

  “He’s one of Asmodeus’s majordomos. They aren’t known for their modesty,” Sir Samwell replied sternly. “Further, to get to his position, he would have to be a powerful greater demon, if not a minor archdemon.”

  “Minor archdemon? My dear sir. There are no such things as minor archdemons!” The demon shook his head, crossing his arms on his chest.

  “So what is up with the décor?” Sir Samwell asked, waving his arm at their surroundings. “This is not Asmodeus’s style.”

  “How do you know Asmodeus’s style?” Gaius demanded.

  Sir Samwell turned his head to face Gaius. “I spent a few decades—”

  “In his prison,” Sir Lady Serah finished.

  “Is there any demon’s prison you haven’t been in, Sir Samwell?” Gadius asked.

  “Sir Samwell?” The majordomo demon suddenly dropped his arms and stared directly at Samwell, eyes going wide.

  Sir Samwell shook his head in what the others assumed was resignation. “Yes. Sir Samwell. And you would do well to remember who I am and my history with your master.” .

  The demon noticeably gulped.

  “So, as I said, this is not his style of décor,” Sir Samwell repeated.

  “Ah. Yes. It is actually Lord Hesseforthalus’s castle. He holds it for my master,” the demon replied with considerably more respect—or trepidation—than he had showed before.

  “Hah! Denubian! I knew it!” Sir Samwell exclaimed, gesturing to the other knights for confirmation.

  “Sir Samwell believes it to be a new castle,” Sir Lady Serah said. “Is it?”

  The majordomo demon gulped again and nodded. “It is but a few days old. We just moved in when these barbarians in the fish tank showed up. I take it they are with you?”

  Gaius nodded. “They are. You built this place in a matter of days?”

  The demon shrugged. “Denubian CraftmanshipTM is well known; they are some of the best builders and engineers in the universe. If they can DenubaformTM an entire planet in seven days, what’s a little fortress in the Abyss?”

  Gaius shook his head and glanced at Gadius. “We digress too much. We need to get in and out.”

  “Take us to your prisoner, demon!” Gadius demanded.

  “Are you deaf? I have already told you there is no prisoner here,” the demon said angrily. “You are starting to annoy me.”

  “We know Sir Talarius is here!” Gaius nearly shouted.

  “Our locator shows his position up in that tower!” Gadius said, pointing up the spiral staircase with his locator.

  “Sir Talarius?” The demon grimaced. “I have no idea who that is!”

  “Likely story, demon!” Sir Lady Serah replied. “Who then, is being held prisoner in that tower?”

  The majordomo demon shook his head in annoyance. “You people have one-track minds. How many times do I have to tell you no one is being held prisoner! You are so rudely pointing to the chambers of Lady Hesseforthalus!”

  “Lady Hesseforthalus?” Sir Samwell repeated questioningly. “I was not aware that he was married?”

  “Well, apparently you just don’t run in the right social circles!” the demon said. “He’s been happily married for almost ten years now.”

  Sir Samwell shook his head. “You know that’s like a week in Abyss time.”

  The demon shrugged. “So? They are still on their honeymoon! And look! She got herself a brand new castle! Talk about a loving husband.”

  Sir Samwell sighed and rubbed his helmeted head with his mailed glove. He turned to the other knights. “You are right enough. We shall have this gentleman”—he gestured to the demon—“escort us up the tower to see Lady Hesseforthalus, and find out what your detector is pointing at.”

  The other three nodded. “Best thought I’ve heard since we entered this foyer!” Gadius said.

  Sir Samwell gestured to the demon to lead them up the stairs.

  The demon frowned at him. “I’m a majordomo, not a butler!” he said with a sniff.

  “And if you don’t lead us to whatever our locator is locating, I will personally chop you down to a valet!” Sir Samwell said, raising his sword threateningly.

  The demon blanched. “My, my. No need to get so testy! All you had to do was ask politely. Is that so much?”

  Sir Lady Serah let out a very loud sigh and gestured, mimicking Sir Samwell moments before, for the majordomo to take the lead.

  “Very well, but you should put those sharp sticks away. Denubian stairs can be a bit awkward; you don’t want to accidentally fall on your swords or anything convenient like that,” the demon said, heading for the stairwell.

  They followed him up what admittedly were rather treacherous stairs, the majordomo demon muttering under his breath the entire time.

  Gadius carefully watched both his feet and the locator as they climbed. “We are getting closer!”

  “This is a rather tall tower, and a rather dizzying stairwell,” Sir Lady Serah noted.

  “Denubians have a remarkable sense of balance. I think it’s due to all those ears of theirs; lots of ear canals. I’ve heard it’s nearly impossible to give one of them vertigo,” Sir Samwell commented. “But when they do get it, stand clear!”

  “Again, you are very remarkably informed,” Sir Lady Serah complimented Sir Samwell with a small chuckle.

  Sir Samwell flipped his visor up and gave her a smile. “Knowledge is a never-ending quest! It is something all great men and women should pursue their entire life.”

  “Indeed.” Sir Lady flipped her visor up and beamed back at him before closing it again.

  “And, you must admit, my lady, as we discover
ed upon my arrival on the Inferno, I have been at this quest far longer than most.”

  Sir Lady Serah laughed. “Indeed, Sir Samwell, indeed.”

  After the seemingly interminable climb, the stairwell exited into another foyer. This one, however, was of a very different architecture. It was quite normal—for a human palace, at least. Solid marble floors, four marble columns and a vaulted ceiling. On the opposite wall was a set of good-sized, white-lacquered, arched double doors, inlaid with gold. There were also rather ornate golden door handles as well.

  “The Lady Hesseforthalus’s chambers,” the majordomo demon said.

  “The locator is pointing right through the doors,” Gadius exclaimed.

  “Very odd décor, for a Denubian,” Sir Samwell commented.

  The demon gave him a condescending look. “Whoever said that Lady Hesseforthalus was a Denubian?”

  “Can we see her?” Sir Lady Serah asked.

  “We want to see who is behind that door with her. It must be Talarius,” Gaius said.

  “And I keep telling you there is no one of that name here,” the demon said, shaking his head. “However, since we are here, I shall enquire if the Lady Hesseforthalus is receiving visitors.”

  He walked over to the door and knocked gently. The door opened slightly and a short—something—opened the door. The three Knights Rampant all swallowed loudly at their first sight of a Denubian.

  “I would have no idea where to strike such a creature,” Gaius whispered to Gadius.

  “The rule is to look to the eyes, below which will be the neck; however, which eyes? There seem to be quite a few. I think there are an odd number...” Gadius replied.

  “And I see nothing that looks like a neck,” Sir Lady Serah whispered back.

  The door closed and the majordomo demon walked back over to them. “The Lady’s handmaiden is checking with her Ladyship. It will most likely be a few moments, if we are to be received.”

  “We had better be received,” Gaius said ominously.

  “You are a knight,” the demon pointed out. “I should think you would understand the nobility and courtly manners.” He stepped back and looked at the four of them. “The air and temperature are suitable here for humans—I assume you four are all human?” He seemed to be staring directly at Sir Samwell while saying this.

  “We are,” Sir Samwell affirmed.

  “Very well,” the demon said. ”Rest assured that should the Lady Hesseforthalus deign to give you an audience, you will be under her truce. That means she will not harm you unless you first try to harm her. Further, I also afford you the same promise in there, and out here, as Prince Asmodeus’s agent. Therefore, I should request you remove your helmets and sheath your swords.”

  “Very well.” Sir Samwell complied, sheathing his sword and beginning to remove his helmet.

  “Are you insane?” Sir Gadius asked. “We are in as hostile a territory as it gets!”

  “If Asmodeus’s agent, one of his majordomos, gives you his word, he will honor it. There are rules to this place, bizarre as that might sound,” Sir Samwell replied.

  It took a few moments, but eventually the other three knights also sheathed their weapons and took off their helmets, placing them under their arms.

  The doors opened wide this time and the handmaiden spoke. “Lady Hesseforthalus shall see you now.”

  The three Knights Rampant blinked in surprise. The creature was speaking in three-part harmony with itself. That was most unusual.

  The major-domo made a gesture for the knights to proceed him into the room. They did so, warily. The room they entered was a large receiving room. A very large receiving room; so large, in fact, that it should not have been able to fit within the tower. There were several additional closed doors leading off the room.

  Sir Lady Serah looked in puzzlement at Sir Samwell.

  “Trans-dimensional engineering. The Denubians are experts at it. How they manage it in the Abyss?” He shrugged, implying he had no idea.

  The room was once more all white marble with gold inlaid columns, golden braziers glowing with blue fire, radiating coolness. Huge, furry white rugs were draped everywhere on furniture and benches. At the opposite end of the room was a raised dais with a large, white, upside-down, conical-shaped throne, with its back to them.

  “My Lady Hesseforthalus!” the majordomo announced. “May I present, uhm, well, Sir Samwell and three others whose names I have not been informed of.”

  “I am Sir Samwell, First Knight of High Justice and Sworn Champion of the Keeper of Law, Ponchas the Third of Oorstemoth,” Samwell announced.

  The majordomo demon raised his eyebrows, but said nothing.

  “I am Sir Lady Serah, Knight Rampant of Tiernon upon Astlan!” Sir Lady Serah announced herself.

  “I am Sir Gadius, Knight Rampant of Tiernon upon Astlan!” Gadius announced.

  “And I am Sir Gaius, also Knight Rampant of Tiernon upon Astlan!” Gaius announced.

  There were several moments of complete silence, and then a voice, a human-sounding voice, a woman’s deep and throaty voice, came from the other side of the throne.

  “Amadeus. I would have a private conversation with my visitors. Would you and Miss ❦₣₧☑℮©₡ᾞᾤᾷΊῌ please wait outside?” the voice asked.

  “Certainly, my lady!” the majordomo demon, Amadeus, replied. He and the handmaiden with the unpronounceable name backed out of the room, closing the door behind them.

  “So, I have visitors. Finally, after all these years, visitors from Astlan!” The voice sounded somewhat sarcastic and more than a little bitter. “Sir Samwell, I am afraid I do not know you. But I thank you for visiting me.”

  “So, there is someone in the Abyss that you do not know?” Sir Lady Serah whispered to Sir Samwell with a smile. He grinned back at her.

  “Yes—that quick, sharp sense of humor, Sir Lady Serah. I remember it well,” the woman said.

  That statement caused the faces of the three Knights Rampant to go pale, their jaws dropping.

  “And of course, the salt and pepper of Knights Rampant, Sir Gaius and Sir Gadius. What a fine reunion we are having.” The voice chuckled, although it did not sound amused.

  “I am sorry, my lady, but do we know you?” Sir Gaius asked, puzzled. “You certainly seem to know us.”

  “What? Dear Gaius, have you forgotten me so quickly?” the voice asked. She made a tutting noise with her mouth. “It has only been a decade and you all forget me! I would have thought myself more memorable!”

  “I’m sorry, my lady, but we have no idea who you are,” Sir Lady Serah said.

  “What? Do the Knights Rampant damn so many of those they’ve sworn to protect to the predations of the Unlife that they forget even their closest friends? The beloved lady of the ever-so-gallant Sir Talarius?”

  The throne suddenly spun around, revealing a very gorgeous human woman with long flowing red hair, alabaster skin, and an hourglass figure in a skintight white dress and white fur stole. “Is it not enough that you all forsook me and my flock—damned us all to hell—that you must also forget me?”

  “Melissance…” Sir Lady Serah breathed softly. There was a buckling noise as Sir Gadius collapsed to the floor in shock. Gaius quickly bent to help him back up.

  “Well, at least he knows how to behave in the presence of a lady,” Melissance noted, looking at the fallen Sir Gadius.

  Chapter 139

  Courts of Chaos: Late Fourth Period

  Bang, Bang, Bang! Someone was pounding on her study door. This was quite annoying. “If you want to come in, you better have a damn good reason for pounding on my door!” Lilith yelled.

  The door opened and in marched Asmodeus with his favorite majordomo, Amadeus.

  What a very odd way of entering, Lilith thought to herself. “What is up with the overly dramatic entrance?” she asked rather archly. She was no longer angry or annoyed, so much as puzzled.

  “The trap has been sprung!” Asm
odeus practically screamed. Which, for Asmodeus, meant he was speaking at a volume level suitable for public speaking. He was not exactly the excitable type.

  Lilith shook her head. “The trap? You mean with the knight’s ghoul trollop?” She gave them a very puzzled look. “We haven’t even set it yet.”

  “Yes, but the fortress is under heavy attack as of a few hours ago. All forces are engaged to battle this really bizarre, flying nuclear submarine thing that is highly resistant to the spells Hesseforthalus and his team are throwing at it!”

  “Who has a flying nuclear submarine? That doesn’t even make sense!” Lilith exclaimed.

  “Well, that’s the vexing part. The submarine attack was a diversion. Four knights, three of whom are Knights Rampant of Tiernon, snuck into the fortress during the attack, looking for someone they thought was Talarius.”

  Lilith did a double take. “Three Knights Rampant of Tiernon, in the Abyss, in a flying submarine, thought Talarius was in our glass cage?” She blinked a few times in surprise. In fact, part of her surprise was her surprise; she had not seen this coming.

  “Wait. You said there was a fourth knight? This one was not a knight of Tiernon?” Lilith asked.

  Asmodeus gave her a very grim grin. “No, it was a certain former First Knight of High Justice and Sworn Champion of the Keeper of Law, Ponchas the Third of Oorstemoth.”

  Lilith groaned and sank back in her chair. “That son of a black hole!” She shook her head. “So this is some scheme of his.”

  “Your Infinite Wisdomness?” Amadeus enquired gently.

  “Yes, Amadeus?” Lilith responded wearily.

  “The other three knights are not aware of who he is,” Amadeus offered.

  “One should hope not. Not if they want to remain in good standing with Tiernon.” Lilith shook her head.

  “From what little I could gather, and it was not much, I believe the flying submarine is from Oorstemoth, and it is transporting the Knights Rampant and other members of the Rod along with various Oorstemothian officials. They are looking for Talarius, and one must presume some form of justice against the demon who took him. I suspect, ahem, Sir Samwell encountered them and then joined them to discover what they were up to,” Amadeus rattled off rather quickly.