by Nina Croft
“The simple answer—it’s my home and I love it here.”
“What’s the unsimple answer?”
He grinned. “That I won’t let the fuckers chase me off, and I’ll show the bastards that I can make it no matter what they think of me. Despite them.”
Whew. It made her wonder how much of his badass attitude was a show. And how much was for real. She was guessing she’d find out over the next few months. Maybe it was her duty to find out before the baby was born. She thought all children had the right to know both their parents, if possible. But maybe Tanner’s bitterness went too deep and he would do more harm than good.
She hoped not. But there was so much bitterness there. She took a deep breath. “I think we should keep quiet about the baby for now.”
“You do? Now that’s a surprise.” He could do sarcasm extremely well. “We wouldn’t want the townspeople to discover their nice little first-grade teacher was pregnant.”
“Well, it’s not something I’m going to be able to hide forever. Perhaps they won’t fire me. I’ll worry about that later. Right now…” She shrugged. “I just need time to come to terms with it myself—without anyone else interfering.” She cast him a look. “Except you, of course.” She took a deep breath. Maybe he’d just say no. That he didn’t want to be involved at all, except for the financial help that he had already offered and which she hoped she wouldn’t need. “I think we need to spend some time getting to know one another.”
“You do? You want to get to know me? Are you sure? Maybe things might go easier for you if people don’t know who your baby’s father is.”
“I’ve thought about this. And perhaps you’re right. But…I want to do the right thing.”
“Little Miss Perfect.”
She had a rush of anger again. “Stop that. Right now. The last thing I need to deal with at the moment is your persecution complex.”
His jaw tensed, and his eyes narrowed. “I don’t have a—”
“Yes, you do. And perhaps it’s justified. But I don’t blame you for this. It was as much my doing as yours.”
“Yeah—you did that cute little striptease thing.”
“Shut up. All I’m saying is we did it together, and now we have to deal. I lost my parents when I was eleven, and I missed them, and if at all possible I would like my baby to have his mom and his dad. Not together, together,” she added hurriedly. “I know the last thing you really want is to marry someone like me. But both of us there for him or her.”
“I lost my mom when I was six,” he said.
She’d forgotten that. She reached out and rested her hand on his thigh, gave it a quick pat, and withdrew. “Then you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I know.” She glanced at his face. For once the sullen attitude was absent. “So how do we do this?” he asked.
She nibbled on her lips for a moment. “I suppose we just spend time together. See if we can get along enough for it to be more of a good thing than a bad. And to give you time to decide if you want to be in our lives. I know this has come as a shock.”
He grinned then, and something twisted low down in her belly. “Yeah, just a little.”
“We could take it in turns to choose what to do. Things we each enjoy and can maybe share. Something out of town so…”
“…people don’t see us together,” he finished for her.
“Yes. But that’s as much—maybe more—for you as for me. Probably more. If a few weeks down the line, you decide you don’t want anything to do with us, then you can walk away from this and no one will be the wiser.”
“Is that what you hope?”
“Gosh. You are so touchy. No. I told you what I want—for my baby to have a mom and a dad who get along together. Are you willing to at least try?”
He didn’t answer immediately, and in some ways, she liked that. Liked that he was clearly thinking about his answer. Finally, he nodded. “Yeah. I’m willing to try. But I’ve got to warn you—even my brothers reckon I’m a moody bastard, so don’t expect this to be easy.”
“Believe me. I don’t.”
But for the first time since this whole thing had started, she felt a little hint of optimism.
Just don’t try and think of everything that could go wrong.
Chapter Twelve
Riding his bike usually made him feel better, made him forget the bad stuff. But not today. His mind was churning as he turned his Harley Davidson Super Glide into the drive of the ranch.
His first date with Emily Towson, the soon-to-be mother of his baby.
It seemed more than a little surreal.
In the week since she’d told him, Tanner had occasionally believed that he’d come to terms with the notion. Then it would come crashing in on him again.
He was going to be a father.
Yeah, totally fucking surreal.
And she wanted him to be part of its life. Whatever it was, he or she. And at the same time—she’d given him the chance to back out if that was what he wanted. It occurred to him, frequently, that Emily was way too good for him. She was a genuinely nice person. And he’d fucked up her life with his three-year-old condom. Probably before that. It had all started when he’d taken her grandmother’s check for a Harley he had no intention of selling her. He was still actually waiting for the fallout—Josh had said that Mimi had promised to return. He wasn’t looking forward to that. Wasn’t even sure if he could look the woman in the face after he’d knocked up her granddaughter.
One thing at a time.
Get through the first date, first.
She must have been keeping watch for him as she emerged from the front door as he pulled up in front of the house. She was dressed in a black and white dress, sleeveless, finishing just above the knee. She looked…nice.
Maybe he should have made more of an effort on his appearance, but it had never occurred to him. And perhaps that said it all. Did she look a little dubious as she watched him from the top of the sweeping stairway?
Hell, this was as good as he got. Clean jeans and T-shirt, his best boots, and a leather jacket. She’d asked him to meet her here and she would drive them wherever they were going. Maybe it was some fancy restaurant and they wouldn’t even let him through the door.
He switched off the engine and swung his leg over the bike. As he pulled off his helmet, he caught the brief flicker of a frown on her face.
“Am I not smart enough for you, princess?” he said, then wished he could take the words back. Of course he wasn’t smart enough for her.
Her face cleared, and she shook her head. “No. It was just the bike. It made me think of Mimi and the bike you sold her. She hasn’t said anything, and it hasn’t turned up…”
“I tore up the check.”
“What? Because of me?”
He shrugged. Let her think that. “So where are we going?”
She smiled. “It’s a surprise. But come on. We don’t want to be late, and I don’t drive very fast.”
“We can go on the bike if you like. I can go as fast as you want.”
A look of alarm flashed across her face. She glanced down at her dress, then back at him. “I don’t think so. No, we’ll go in my car.”
She led the way to the small gray sedan she’d been driving the other day. She appeared a little nervous, kept shooting him sneaky sideways glances. She was probably regretting even telling him she was pregnant. Probably regretting suggesting this getting-to-know-you stuff.
He actually felt more than a little nervous himself. He didn’t do dates. Had no clue how he was supposed to behave. He cleared his throat. “You look smart enough for both of us,” he said.
She peered at him across the top of the car. “This isn’t a date like that. You don’t have to say nice things to me.”
No, he supposed it wasn’t really a proper date. She didn’t date guys like him. Christ, he was pathetic. He forced the feeling down. He couldn’t start getting maudlin this early on or they’d never make it through the eve
ning. And he wanted this to work. The thought took him by surprise.
“Maybe I want to,” he said as he climbed into the passenger seat beside her. The car was small, and he nearly didn’t fit. “You do look nice. Very school-teacherish.”
She turned and glared at him. “Don’t you dare say sensible.”
He held up his hands in mock alarm. “I promise. Never mention it again. Except to say that Ryan’s loss was my gain.” With a start of shock, he realized that despite the outcome, and the baby, he wasn’t sorry he’d fucked Emily. It had been a once-in-a-lifetime fantasy come true for him, and he’d never regret it. So thank you, Ryan.
She was silent for a minute while she switched on the engine and reversed out of her parking spot, the tip of her tongue peeking out between her lips as she concentrated. When they were out on the road, she relaxed a little, her grip not so tight on the wheel. Did he make her nervous?
She sighed. “It’s so weird to think if he hadn’t said that, maybe we wouldn’t be here now.”
“No, you’d likely still be picking out sensible wedding rings with asshole Ryan.”
She giggled, and he liked the sound. He didn’t think he’d ever heard her giggle before. Made her sound younger. Hell, she was only twenty-four.
“So how are you feeling?” he asked. “You know…?” He shrugged. “I did a bit of reading, and pregnancy does not sound fun.”
“You did? I’m impressed. And I’m still throwing up every morning. That’s how I suspected I was pregnant in the first place. Just sick in the mornings, though. After that, I’m okay.”
He knew there was all sorts of other stuff, tender breasts, bloating… Maybe he would wait until they were a little more comfortable around each other before he asked about her breasts getting bigger.
“And I don’t have much appetite,” she said. “At least I might get rid of that last ten pounds I’ve never managed to lose. Except I’m going to be huge, so I might as well not bother.” She sighed again.
“You never needed to lose weight. You’re perfect.”
“Hah.”
They were quiet then. He relaxed back in his seat and tried to think of things other than Emily’s breasts.
He was worried about Josh. The job was working out fine—he was more than capable of doing the work and was conscientious, did what was needed. But he spent too much time alone. Maybe that was inevitable. His brothers had repeated some of the gossip around town—the serial killer stuff was especially interesting. Assholes.
Maybe Josh would have done better in some bigger place, where he wouldn’t have stood out so much. Perhaps once Reese had the Richmond shop set up and functioning, Josh could move there. Or maybe he just needed more time. Tanner knew he spent a lot of time on the beach, walking or just sitting and watching the waves. Perhaps that was what he needed. Not company. Hell, he’d spent forty years with way too much company. Now he wanted to be alone. But Tanner still worried.
“You’ve gone all serious,” Emily said from beside him.
“I was thinking about Josh.”
“The man you have working for you?”
“Yeah. He’s a good guy. I might not have made it inside without him.”
“Now you want to pay that back. That’s why you helped him?”
“Hell no. I helped him because there was no one else. And he’s my friend.” He grinned. “I don’t have many.”
“Mimi likes him,” she said.
“Yeah?”
“She said she went in to check up on her Harley on Saturday and met him then. It must have been when you came to meet me.”
“She came in just as you phoned with the good news.”
She was driving into the city now, and he let her concentrate. She didn’t seem the most confident of drivers. Maybe she didn’t do much of it, just from the ranch to town. He hadn’t heard rumors of her going away much. Not since she came back from college. Even then, she’d come home for weekends. He realized that without consciously doing it, he’d kept tabs on Emily over the years.
Finally, they pulled up into the parking lot of the festival hall. A poster as they entered showed a man sitting at a grand piano. Mozart’s piano concerto no. 21. Tanner almost smiled—it was one of his favorites. He’d never been to a live recital before, and anticipation turned in his stomach. Did she know of his secret vice?
She parked, switched off the engine, and wiped her hands down her thighs. “I hope this is okay. I know it’s probably not your favorite.” Obviously not. “I was given tickets and I love Mozart. And you know music is supposed to be good for the baby.”
“Don’t worry. I can probably sit still and not embarrass you for a couple of hours.”
In fact, he didn’t feel conspicuous as they moved through the busy foyer. He was guessing there were a lot of students in the audience—all casually dressed. It was only when they took their seats in the area in front of the stage that he felt a little out of place. Obviously, these were the pricier seats, and that was reflected in the clientele, mostly middle-aged to old and well-dressed. He didn’t let it bother him. He’d been worried about tonight, and this was turning into a totally unexpected treat. There was an orchestra beneath the stage, and he could hear them tuning up.
“I’m sure you’ll recognize it when it starts,” Emily whispered in his ear, though she didn’t sound convinced. “It a very popular piece.” In fact, she sounded worried. Probably thought a Neanderthal like him would be bored out of his mind.
“I’m fine. I can always take a nap.”
He had no intention of sleeping. This was a piece he played, though not very well. It was a little beyond his ability, but he loved it. And it would be great to hear it played live by someone who could do it justice.
The lights lowered, and the orchestra went silent as a man walked on to the stage from the side. The guy was dressed in a tuxedo, long tails, and he gave a small bow to the crowd and then took the seat at the piano.
Staring at that piano, Tanner’s fingers itched with the need to play. If his life had been different, he would have loved this. But while he was good—a natural, his teacher had told him—he’d never be this good—he’d started too late in life. All the same, playing and listening to music was one of the few things which gave him pleasure.
Then the music started, and he lost himself, letting the music flow over him and through him. And the time passed without him realizing.
The lights came up, and Emily touched him on the arm. “Are you okay.”
He couldn’t even pretend he hadn’t found it moving. “I’m great. That was…wonderful.”
A smile broke out on her face. Relief, probably. “I’m glad. I have to go to the bathroom. You can wait here, or we can go get a drink.”
“Do you want a drink?”
She shook her head.
“I’ll wait here, then.”
He peered around as he waited. The man on his right was wearing a dark suit and tie. In fact, all the men in his row were wearing suits. He must stand out like a grease monkey at a…Mozart concert.
Would it have hurt him to dress up a little for her? He’d bet she was regretting bringing him here.
He didn’t care for himself—they could think what they liked, but he didn’t want Emily to feel self-conscious just because she was pregnant by a guy who didn’t even own a suit.
Then again, maybe she needed to get used to it.
They had been mostly silent on the drive back.
He’d been reliving the music in his head. So powerful. It had been one of the best evenings of his life, and he would always be grateful to her for giving it to him. And he knew this was something they could share in the future, that could maybe forge a bond between them.
She pulled up in front of the house, switched off the engine, and killed the lights. She turned to him and was just about to speak when the door to the house opened and Mimi appeared on the porch. She stared at the car for a moment and then disappeared inside.
Emily si
ghed. “I’d invite you in, but there’s something I need to do, and I’ve put it off long enough.”
His stomach churned. “You’re going to tell your grandmother?”
She nodded. “I think she’s probably already guessed. My morning ritual vomiting is hard to miss.”
“Will she be angry? Do you want me to come with you?”
In the dim light, he could see her smile. It was probably the last thing she wanted. “Thank you, but no.”
He swallowed. “Are you going to tell her who the father is?”
“Yes. She probably saw your bike anyway.”
Probably. He rubbed at his chest—it had suddenly become too tight—then looked away, not wanting to see the embarrassment pinkening her cheeks.
She climbed out, and he followed, came around the back of the car. He stopped in front of her. He hadn’t touched her all evening. Now he gave into the urge and cupped her cheeks. He lowered his head and kissed her on the forehead. “I had a good time tonight.” Then he backed up and grinned. “I bet that surprised you.”
“Maybe a little. But I hoped.” She shrugged. “I suspect you’re not the philistine you pretend to be.”
The strange thing was, if it hadn’t been for his time inside, then he probably would have been just that. It had been a dark time, but also a time for contemplation and change and growing up. And he’d learned about music and reading. It had changed him, and on balance he’d come out a better person. Not that he’d let anyone else see that. But all the same, he couldn’t belittle the evening. “Maybe not. Good luck with your grandmother.”
“Thank you. And I’ll see you next week?”
“Yes.”
And he turned and walked away. She was still standing there, watching him as he revved the engine and headed home.
Was she worried about telling her grandmother? Maybe he should have insisted he go with her. A shudder ran through him at the thought. Miriam Delaney was a forceful woman and was unlikely to be happy with Emily’s news.
He wouldn’t be at all surprised if she came after him with a shotgun.
…
Emily stood by her car and watched until Tanner had disappeared around the bend in the road. Then she heaved a huge sigh and headed into the house.
