by Nina Croft
The evening had gone far better than she’d ever hoped. It had been a risk, but Tanner had seemed to truly enjoy himself. She didn’t think he was pretending.
She’d had second and third thoughts about taking him to the concert. Really, she’d worried that he’d hate it, feel out of place, be bored out of his mind. But in the end, she’d gone with her first thought—that maybe he would enjoy the music, and it could be something they could share going forward.
So many people went to concerts just to be seen but had no real feeling for the music. Tanner had been engrossed. And he certainly hadn’t given the impression of feeling out of place. The opposite. He had such a composure about him, as though the rest of the world could think what they liked, and it didn’t affect him.
She suspected much of his surliness was an act. She’d seen the brief glimpses of bitterness. All the same, his composure was impressive, and she wished she had just a little of his insouciance. She had an idea she was going to need it in the coming months.
Maybe it would be contagious, and if she spent enough time with Tanner then some of it would rub off on her. And when they told her she was fired, she could just smile in their faces.
Thankfully, the night had gone much better than expected. She was feeling optimistic, so she might as well get the next hurdle over with. She found Mimi in the living room, sitting on the sofa, feet curled up under her, a glass of brandy in her hand. She was wearing a long black dress and looked ageless and elegant.
Emily had a sudden yearning for a good stiff drink herself, but that wouldn’t be happening for a long time soon.
“You’re up late,” she said, taking the seat across from Mimi.
“Time enough to sleep when you’re dead,” Mimi replied.
“Hah.” She had no clue how her grandmother was going to take this. She was a law unto herself. She’d always told Emily to go her own way and not worry about what other people thought. But she might think this situation smacked of stupidity. Okay, better to get it over with quickly. “I’m pregnant.”
Mimi looked at her over the rim of her glass. “I gathered.”
“What gave it away?”
“Your mother was exactly the same—every morning like clockwork. Luckily, it only lasted the first couple of months. Fingers crossed you’ll be the same.”
“You’re not angry? Or disappointed? Or…?”
“There are worse things, and I know you. You’ll do the right thing.”
“I’m trying.” Trouble was—what was the right thing? She felt deeply that a baby should have the chance to know both its parents, but really, Tanner was far from ideal father material. She sensed that there was so much good inside him, so much more than he revealed to the world. But that hardly mattered while he continued to stick his middle finger up at the whole town every opportunity he got. What would it be like growing up with a father like that?
“Stop chewing your lip,” Mimi said.
She stopped. It was a bad habit she’d had from childhood whenever she’d gotten nervous or upset.
“You haven’t asked who the father is,” she said.
“I didn’t need to. I saw the hog out there when I got home.” She sniffed. “For a moment, I thought he might have delivered my motorcycle.”
“Never going to happen,” she said.
“Hah. Anyway, I’m glad the baby’s not Ryan’s. I was worried at first.”
“Why? Ryan would seem the more obvious choice for father of your only grandchild’s illegitimate baby.” And she’d at least been in a relationship with Ryan—people might have been more understanding than a one-night stand with Tanner O’Connor.
“Because he might have persuaded you to marry him.”
“You think I would have done the sensible thing?”
“Maybe. For the baby. But it would never have worked.”
“And you don’t think Tanner will persuade me?” Mimi gave her a wry look, and she sniffed. “For your information, Tanner said he would marry me.”
“There’s a good man in there somewhere.”
“Yes. Deep down. I suspect too deep down for me to get to him.”
“Yet you’re seeing him?”
“We decided we would try and be friends for the baby’s sake.” She yawned. It had gone better than she’d thought. Mimi didn’t seem disappointed or angry. “Time for bed.” She pushed herself to her feet.
“First, there’s something I need to confess,” Mimi said.
She frowned. “There is?” Emily couldn’t think what.
“It’s my fault.”
“What’s your fault?”
“The baby.”
“How could it possibly be your fault?”
Mimi looked a little discomforted. She gave a shrug of her shoulders. “I never wanted the motorcycle—not really. I prefer a horse any day. And that young man took a lot of persuading to sell me one. He only did it in the end to annoy the town.”
“But why?”
“Because I knew you would get all riled up and go make a scene.”
“Why would you want that?”
“Because I was worried about you. I was terrified you were going to marry Ryan, because he was safe, and I knew you would regret it. Since your parents died you’ve always picked the safe path. I just wanted to give you another option.” She gave another shrug. “I saw the way you looked at him. That day when he passed us in the street and you thought no one was looking.”
Her eyes narrowed. She couldn’t believe this. Mimi matchmaking. And with Tanner O’Connor, of all people. That was more irresponsible than buying a hog. “How did I look at him?” She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer to that one.
“Like you looked at Beauty that day at the pony auction. When you were six years old. Like he was all you wanted, and you would die happy if you could just have him for your own.”
Crap. That was so embarrassing. And she didn’t have a thing to say. Because it was true. But without Mimi noticing and interfering it would have been a secret she took with her to the grave. When she remained silent, Mimi drained her brandy, got to her feet, came toward her, and stopped, hands on her hips.
“But honestly, Emily, it was supposed to be a goddamn fling. A fling. Not a goddamn baby.” She shook her head, turned, and headed for the door. Emily heard the muttered words just as it slammed behind her. “History goddamn repeating itself.”
And what did that mean?
Chapter Thirteen
Week two of the getting-to-know-you situation. It was the following Saturday. Emily had spent the week throwing up and teaching school.
Mimi had been quiet about the baby, except to ask if she had thought about a gynecologist and that she would come along with her and hold her hand if she wanted. Emily had been putting it off, but she supposed she couldn’t do that forever.
She was glad Mimi had offered. She didn’t want to go alone, but she really didn’t think Tanner was quite ready for hand-holding. If he would ever be.
She hadn’t expected to hear from him every day or anything, but as the days passed and nothing, she wondered if that meant he had made up his mind and was bowing out of the fatherhood role. Or maybe he’d finally realized she was too boring for him.
And she’d been trying not to think about how that made her feel. Sort of weepy and pathetic and crazy and…
Finally, he called on Thursday and asked if she fancied a trip down the coast on Saturday. He had somewhere he needed to go, apparently. Something to do with work. He’d said dress casual—no dresses allowed, so she was wearing jeans and sneakers and a white T-shirt with a pink heart on it.
She was ready and waiting for him, sitting on the porch swing at the allotted time.
Mimi was loitering in the background, and Emily had an idea that she planned to confront Tanner and…truth was, she had no clue what. Maybe ask what his intentions were. Perhaps confess the whole I-never-wanted-a-hog thing. Emily hoped not, because that might turn out very embarrassing for her. Th
ough she had already confessed to Tanner that she’d fantasized about him. She’d even told him she gave herself orgasms while thinking about him. How could she have done that? So totally, totally embarrassing.
He drove up at two o’clock exactly. On his hog. She’d somehow thought he’d come in the truck. Maybe he was expecting her to drive. He must be expecting her to drive. The bike was black and silver and made this noise like a hungry lion as he gunned up the driveway and pulled up at the bottom of the steps.
He switched off the engine and pulled off his helmet. His hair was in a neat ponytail. He wore faded jeans and a black leather jacket, and he swung himself off from the beast with a lithe grace. His legs were long, his hips narrow, and his shoulders, under the black leather, broad. She sighed.
After grabbing a bundle of something from the back of the bike, he headed toward her. Watching him stroll up the steps with that casual, easy grace made things twist low down inside her. Her breasts ached, and her skin flushed. No doubt that was hormones.
She rose to her feet so she wouldn’t feel at a disadvantage. And still felt at a disadvantage—he was more than a foot taller than her.
“Hi,” he said, taking off his dark glasses and halting in front of her. “Ready to go?”
She nodded.
He shook out the bundle. It turned out to be a spare helmet and a leather jacket. “They’re Aiden’s from when he was a kid. They should fit.”
She took them without saying a word and remained where she was, the gear in her hand, not moving while she stared down at the bike. It was huge. And while the seat was quite close to the ground, she really wasn’t sure she wanted to get on it. And she’d have to sit right up close to Tanner and wrap her arms around him and press her breasts up against his back. She’d been doing such a good job of not remembering what Tanner had felt like all up close and personal, and she was betting this would bring it all flooding back.
She swallowed. “I’m not sure…”
Suddenly he looked from her to the bike. “Christ, I didn’t think. Hell, is it even safe? It won’t…fall out or anything?”
For a moment, she had no clue what he meant, and then she giggled. “What, you mean if I open my legs too wide? You wish.”
His face went serious at that. “Actually, I don’t wish. I never even thought about kids. Hell, or getting married. But now that it’s happening, I wouldn’t want anything to go wrong. Hell, I’m sorry. We can take your car. Or I can go back and get the truck.”
Warmth washed through her at his words. This was the first sign that he cared about the baby and didn’t just see it as a huge inconvenience. The thought gave her hope. “No. Really. I was just shocked. I’ve never been on a motorcycle before.”
“Never?” He sounded as though that was an inconceivable idea. “I suppose all your boyfriends have nice safe cars.”
She could feel her eyes narrowing. “Why would that be?”
He held up his hands in mock defense. “Oh no, we’re not getting into that conversation again. But hell, you’ve led a sheltered life. You need to live a little.” He looked her up and down and winked. “Before you get too big. If you’re sure it’s safe.”
She glanced down at herself, expecting to have suddenly grown huge, but there was no sign of the little one in there. Hopefully wouldn’t be for a while.
The door opened behind her, and she turned slightly as Mimi came out. She was wearing her usual work gear of Levi’s, T-shirt, and cowboy boots, and she didn’t look like anyone’s idea of a nice cuddly grandmother. Tall and model thin, and not for the first time Emily wondered if she had done something super-wrong in a former life to end up so vertically challenged. Why couldn’t she have taken after her grandmother?
She’d hoped to avoid this meeting for a while longer, but she supposed it had to be done. Mimi came across to stand by her side and look at Tanner, who did a good job of not squirming. Though his face settled into that sullen look, which she now recognized as his I’m-a-badass-and-don’t-forget-it expression. It didn’t faze her grandmother. She was made of sterner stuff.
Emily cleared her throat. “I believe the two of you have met,” she said.
“We have,” Mimi replied. “In fact, we entered into a contractual agreement, which I believe Mr. O’Connor broke.”
His lips actually curled up at that. “Call me Tanner, ma’am.”
“Only if you call me Mimi.”
“I’ll try.”
“Hmm. I believe you and my granddaughter are going to have a baby together, that makes us family of sorts. I will be inviting you to lunch in the near future, where I expect to get to know you better. Be prepared.”
“I will, ma’am…Mimi.”
Hopefully that was it and they could go, but Mimi hesitated a moment longer. “And how is Josh settling in?” she asked.
For a moment surprise flashed across his face. “I don’t know,” he replied. “He keeps to himself. He’ll talk when he’s ready.” He shrugged. “I’m not sure I did the right thing bringing him to Saddler Cove. The people…”
“Can be charming when they want to. But I fear Josh is a little outside their comfort zone. They’ll get used to him.”
“They never got used to me.” He glanced up at the sky and crossed his arms before settling his gaze back on Mimi.
“That may well be your own fault. You don’t exactly go out of your way to convince them you’re not who they think you are. A little humility would go a long way.”
He half grinned at that. His teeth white in his tanned face, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and there was that weird little tummy twist again. “Humility has never been a strong point of mine, ma’am.”
“No. I suspect not. But maybe in light of your change in circumstances”—she waved a hand in the general direction of Emily’s stomach—“you might want to cultivate a little. You would be the last person to want your child growing up with the stigma of an irresponsible parent.”
“Mimi!” It was hardly Tanner’s fault that his father had been the town drunk.
Mimi shrugged. “I’m sure Tanner doesn’t mind a little straight-talking. Do you, Tanner?”
“No, ma’am.”
“I think I’ve said enough but say hello to Joshua for me. He has a good friend in you.” She smiled. “And warn him he will be invited for lunch as well.”
“You know,” Tanner murmured as they watched Mimi walk away. “I reckon your gran could handle a hog. I reckon she could handle just about anything.”
Emily wondered whether she should mention that Mimi had set them up, that really this whole situation was Mimi’s fault. But maybe she’d wait a little longer. “She’s the best person I know.”
“You were lucky.”
She studied him for a moment. It was a strange thing to say. Because she hadn’t been lucky. She’d lost both her parents. But things could have been so much worse. She still had Mimi.
She followed him down the steps, then placed her new helmet on the seat while she shrugged into the leather jacket. It was a little snug across her breasts but otherwise fit well. Tanner picked up the helmet and placed it on her head, and she held herself still while he tightened the strap under her chin.
“Okay?”
She nodded. Though she was in no way sure that was true. She was a little bit scared, her pulse racing, her heart thumping. “Is there anything I should or shouldn’t do?” she asked.
“Just hold onto me tight. If I lean into a corner, then go with me.” He stepped back and studied her. “You look cute.”
“Great. Because I always aspire to be cute.”
“Cute works for me.” Did it? Or had she been some sort of novelty after all the tall, skinny women he usually dated? Though if he’d been telling the truth—and why would he lie—he hadn’t dated anyone in three years.
He put his own helmet on and then slung his leg over the seat, making it look effortless. She examined the bike for a minute, nibbling on her lower lip. He twisted around so he c
ould see her and patted the leather behind him. “Come on, Teach, show me how wild you can be.”
“Hah.” But she shuffled a little closer. She so wanted to be cool here, but she had an idea she was going to look like an idiot. Try to get on and fall over the other side or…
She took a deep breath and swung her leg over the seat behind him, and then settled herself onto the leather. She wriggled a bit, sliding closer to Tanner. He switched on the engine, and she nearly jumped out of her skin as the vibrations shivered up through her body.
A bit closer, and she was almost touching him, her thighs parted so she was pressed up against his butt. She couldn’t do this. She was going to go into meltdown. Then he did something, and the engine throbbed beneath her, and automatically her hands went to his waist. He took hold of her hands and slid them around him, so she was wrapped tight, the hard muscles of his belly clenched beneath her fingers.
And they were moving, slowly at first, smooth, and she had the feeling she was sitting on some powerful beast. Right now, the power was reined in, but all she had to do was loosen her grip on the reins and they would be off and flying. Did she want that?
Hell yes.
She squeezed with her fingers, and he must had gotten the message, because he increased the speed a little as they passed through the gates and onto the road.
He turned his head and mouthed the word: ready?
She nodded, held him a little tighter, and then they were flying. She bit back a scream of shock rather than fear. She trusted Tanner. Which was a weird thought because really, she hardly knew him. But she did, at some deep, basic level that went beyond mere knowledge.
The ride was exhilarating, snatching her breath from her lungs, and she pushed aside all her thoughts and worries for the future and just lived in the moment.
She rested her cheek against the smooth leather of his jacket. He was so hard, and big, and he’d always been so beyond her that this seemed a little weird. She was pregnant with Tanner’s baby, and she was riding along on the back of his Harley, hugging him as tight as a woman could hug a man—even if it wasn’t for real.
