by Debra Elise
Lara chuckled. “Well, I guess timing is everything.”
“I’m sorry, Lara. Straight up sorry. When I’m using, my personality takes an ugly turn. I should have never said or done what I did. And as far as Nate goes, man, he’s a talker that one. Got me all wound up over the team and how I deserved better treatment for all the years in the league. It was all bullshit, but I bought into it and . . . well, you know how it turned out.”
“Yes, I do. Tell me something. Did Nate tell you he was going to confront Luke and blackmail him? That he would go to the press with a false story that Luke was also using performance-enhancing drugs?”
Lara watched as JR sat back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling. He let out a sigh and looked her in the eyes.
“Yeah. And I can’t say that I tried to talk him out of it. All I cared about was my next hit.” He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. “Lara, what happened? Did he go through with it?”
“No. Not fully. He showed up at Luke’s place a couple of weeks back and threatened to go public and he . . . he made it sound like I was . . . in on it with him. And now he’s disappeared, JR.” She paused and took a deep breath. “Do you have any idea where he could have gone?”
“Jesus, Lara. He never told me he was going to use you. I knew he was ticked off that you were hooked up with Luke. Aw hell, don’t cry.”
She looked around for a tissue box. She couldn’t hold back her tears. Hope had reappeared and she needed to get a grip on herself before she asked for what she’d come for.
“Here, there’s always tissue within arm’s reach in this place. I’m thinking of buying some stock in the company.”
JR offered her a smile as he handed the square to her.
“Thanks. That doesn’t sound like a bad idea. I’m sorry for breaking down on you. I guess it’s just catching up to me now. Nate was a rotten boyfriend, but when he told Luke I was in on this scheme from the beginning . . . it was a new low. And now Luke thinks it’s true. I tried finding Nate, but he’s disappeared. So when I heard you were here I jumped on a plane. JR, you’re my last hope, and dammit, you owe me.”
“Hope? For what? You said Nate took off before he did any real damage, right?”
“Yes, in a sense. But, I . . . Luke needs to hear the truth from someone else.”
JR let out a low whistle. “And you think Luke is going to believe me?” He started to laugh. “I’m sorry, Lara, but I think I would be the last person he would listen to.”
“Dammit, you have to try. I have to try. Don’t you see, JR? Only you can help me make things right with Luke.”
“You love him?”
She’d barely admitted it to herself, and in a way it would be so much simpler if she didn’t, but she loved Luke Garibaldi. She’d shout it to the world if only this man would help her.
“Does it matter?” she asked.
“I think it does or you wouldn’t be here.”
He hadn’t agreed to help her. Not yet. He just stared at her until she wanted to reach over and slap him upside the head.
“JR, please?”
“Damn, I hope he knows how lucky he is to have a woman like you, Lara. Most women I know would just move on to the next ballplayer. But not you.”
“No. Not me. I only want Luke.”
He sighed. “What do you want me to do?”
Lara was gone. After making his life a living hell for the past two weeks by parading around his house in barely anything, she’d turned into the drill sergeant from hell and made him practically weep after every PT session. Two days ago she’d abruptly told him she was leaving sooner than planned. Another interview at the hospital, she said. He had no idea if she was telling the truth or meeting up with Nate.
Dammit, why couldn’t he believe her? Would he ever be able to give his trust to a woman without measuring her against his messed-up past? He wanted to, and he realized the only woman he now wanted was Lara.
He spent the entire weekend wandering the house, Indy at his heels. Everywhere he looked, each room he entered brought on a memory of Lara, of them together. Laughing, talking, and loving.
On Monday, Luke spent his first day officially back with the Outlaws working out with the practice squad at the stadium. The team was on the road, but he planned to fly out later today to meet up with them for tomorrow’s game.
Nate never followed through on his threats past the first e-mail to T.S. Lara had guessed that he was on another bender and had forgotten about them. But he couldn’t put the words Nate had uttered that night out of his mind: “our little charade.”
He’d have to see her again at the wedding, but he thought he could handle that. Hell, he’d probably have to get drunk at the reception to keep from cornering her for a quickie. He grinned at the memory he’d invoked and then swore.
He needed to stop thinking about her. He was back where he wanted to be, playing the sport he loved. Where things were simple. He planned on getting in a full workout with his gear before Mav gave him the real test. Damn, he missed playing with that guy.
He missed everything about the sport, the game play, the ball busting between his teammates, and all the hours spent in the gym. He loved every fucking minute of it. Yet now that he was back, he couldn’t help but think of the early days of his rehab when he and Lara spent hours here, getting him back into shape so he could salvage the rest of his season.
He laced up his cleats and relished the tight fit. He strapped on the shin guards and then the chest pad, picked up his helmet and glove, and walked the tunnel that led to the door into the home dugout.
The grounds crew was out in full force today. But he knew they’d take a break once he and the rookie pitcher, who wasn’t part of the traveling squad, headed out onto the field.
T.S. was already in the dugout. Waiting.
Luke walked over to home plate and nodded at him. He put his mask on and pounded his glove. He looked down at the outline of the batter’s box and dug first one cleat into the dirt, then the other. He shot the pitcher on the mound a quick grin and yelled, “Let’s go.”
The first pitch was low. But it was the best damn pitch all year as he bounced back up and threw the ball. No twinge of pain, and just a minor tug on his muscle. It’d warm up after a few more pitches.
He looked over at T.S. and gave him a thumbs-up. The rest of the practice went smoothly. No significant pain. He took in a deep breath and tasted the dirt of the field and smelled the grass that had been mowed just that morning. His favorite perfume.
His heart stopped when he heard a woman call his name. He thought it was Lara, but instead it was Kelsey. She’d come down from the team offices to watch his practice. She waved and smiled before she sat.
How many times was that going to happen before he would stop thinking everyone woman he heard was Lara?
A week after Nate had ruined his chances at a normal relationship, she’d stopped talking to him unless they were in a workout session. She didn’t even attend his last doctor’s appointment when he was given the all-clear to return to the Outlaws’ active roster.
Maybe he overreacted. Maybe she was telling the truth. But what if she wasn’t? Nate had disappeared and hadn’t tried contacting him or T.S. again. No proof had been sent out to the media as threatened. The likelihood Nate was telling the truth faded every day, and he felt more and more like a heel where Lara was concerned.
He tried to push all the crap to the back of his mind and settled in for another round of pitches.
Forty minutes later he stripped off his gear and walked toward the home dugout. Kelsey met him at the top of the cement stairs. “Hey, Luke. You got a minute?”
“Sure. You hear from Mav? The game must have started by now.”
The Outlaws were in Greensboro on a three-game road trip against the Bulldogs. Mav had been given the start, and Luke would have given anything to be there tonight back in the dirt and giving signals.
Kelsey gave him a hug, not caring about the s
weat and dirt from his uniform transferring to her designer blouse. Mav was one lucky son of bitch to have made it work with her. Luke had given him hell over it at first, but they made a good pair. Kelsey was nothing like the women in Mav’s or Luke’s past. And maybe that meant Lara was different too.
He still hadn’t decided if he was capable of forgiveness with her, but he could also admit that she was the best thing that had come into his life in a long time, if not ever. Shit, he needed Nate to call him so he could end this drama once and for all.
“Luke, you looked like you weren’t in any pain. How’s the knee feeling?”
“Good. Better than good. The doc was kinda astounded at how well it’s healed in such a short time. I still need to rest after my workouts and games to make sure I give it enough recovery time, but other than that, no restrictions.”
He wasn’t sure if she heard everything he’d just said. He now noticed she was bouncing with excitement and grinning from ear to ear. “That’s great. So happy to hear it. Okay, now for my news. Lara flew to L.A. She visited JR in rehab. She got him to confess his role in Nate’s scheme.”
He dropped his gear and walked down into the dugout and sat down hard on the bench. Legs spread, he leaned his elbow on his knees and clasped his hands. “Tell me everything.”
“It seems he’s freaking out about never playing baseball again. He gave her the name and address of their dealer. She turned it over to the police and they’re searching for him now to question the guy, but Nate’s still nowhere to be found.
“JR also sent an e-mail to T.S. asking for another chance, and he put a few lines in it for you. Apparently he and Nate became acquaintances due to their mutual addiction.”
“Nate was taking steroids?”
“No. OxyContin. It seems JR was also using it whenever he could score it, and one night they were in the same place, same time as Nate’s dealer. Nate recognized JR as an Outlaw and began going on and on about how you stole his ex-girlfriend just when he’d come back into town to make up with her.”
Luke got up and began pacing the dugout. He felt Kelsey’s eyes on him waiting for him to say something, but he remained silent. He’d let her finish before he began banging his head against the concrete wall.
“It seems it didn’t take much persuasion on Nate’s part to get JR to approach Lara about a fake stash in Manny’s desk and fill her head with doubt about you using as well.”
Luke wanted to punch something. Preferably Nate’s face. Then JR’s. But JR wouldn’t be out of rehab for at least another month. And most of all he wanted to find Lara and apologize for thinking she could have had any part in Nate’s scheme.
He needed to let her know he was wrong to question her intentions toward him. Damn, damn, damn. The one woman who’d treated him with respect, who didn’t take his shit, and whom he had a genuine connection with had told him the truth and he refused to listen.
Luke stopped pacing and faced Kelsey. “Thanks for letting me know. I’m going to meet up with the team for tomorrow’s last game with the Bulldogs, and shit, I’m catching a flight in a couple of hours. I don’t have time to go see her. Could you do me a favor?”
“Sure. Just name it.”
“Don’t tell Lara I know about JR’s confession. I want to talk to her face-to-face about this when I get back. Wait, will she be here or in Seattle?”
“Luke, she didn’t get the job. She found out early this morning. She’s putting on a brave face, but she’s hurting. First you two, well, you know, and now this. Seems they gave it to someone who’d already worked in the hospital. She’s staying with Noel for now. She doesn’t know I’m telling you all this. Are you sure you don’t want me to talk to her for you?”
“No! I mean, no, thanks. I really need to be the one to do it.” He bent down and picked up his gear and made a beeline for the door into the locker room.
“Luke, wait.”
“What is it?”
“You hurt her again, and I’ll bust your other knee.”
He gave Kelsey a nod and disappeared into the tunnel. He had no doubt Kelsey would do as she promised. But he had to see Lara in person to apologize for not believing in her, and yet he had a job to do. He had a commitment to the team that couldn’t be ignored just because his personal life was so screwed up.
Lord, he hated how this had turned out. It was almost as messed up as the drama he went through earlier in the year. And because he’d been acting like a royal ass to her the last week, his chances now were sure to be slim to none in making it right with her.
He had to take a chance that she’d be willing to speak to him again after he got back from doing his job.
CHAPTER 27
Lara drove to Kelsey’s place with the last conversation she’d probably ever have with Luke running on a loop in her brain. They’d planned Kelsey’s bridal shower for tonight before everything had hit the fan, and she wasn’t about to cancel just because she was emotionally strung out.
Getting JR’s confession in writing gave her some amount of vindication. She needed to see Luke and tell him, but would it be enough?
She wanted to rush to him and tell him what JR had done, but the phone call from the hospital informing her they’d given the job to someone else knocked her on her butt. Instead of tracking down Luke, she’d spent the day in her yoga pants eating Noel’s last pint of ice cream.
And for the first time in a long time she cried fat tears that rocked her body. Not only for the lost job, but for what she and Luke had shared, and for what she’d secretly thought they could have in the future. What she was now scared to go after.
Luke, without realizing it, had opened up to her and she liked what she saw. Not the womanizing bad boy who was hell bent on breaking rules, but a man who cared what others thought, what she thought, and gave his time to kids who couldn’t care less that he was famous.
She marveled at how she’d fallen for a guy she once thought shallow, but who in the end had shown her it was worth digging under the surface to find the real person inside. Damn him for making her fall in love with him.
She drove in a daze and hadn’t meant to go through downtown Pineville, but she found herself on Main Street. The late summer evening was hopping with tourists and teenagers weaving in and out of traffic on their bikes and skateboards.
She watched couples stroll hand in hand as she fought back the tears. It had only been a few weeks ago when that was her and Luke. They’d taken Indy out for a walk downtown and over to the city park. Luke had spread out a blanket, and in between puppy kisses and sips of chardonnay from her camouflaged container of wine, they’d made out in full view of anyone close enough to care.
Other memories hit her full force and she rubbed her chest and took deep breaths. But nothing made the constant ache for Luke and what could have been subside. She pulled into her best friend’s driveway and cried.
Kelsey found her in mid-blow and sat in the passenger seat and held her hand. She handed her two more tissues before Lara was able to bring herself under control. She looked at herself in the rearview mirror and let out a squeak. Her eyes, bloodshot. Her cheeks, splotchy. One side of her hair had fallen from the chignon she’d carefully arranged.
She looked like she’d been on a bender. She found that thought incredibly funny and began chuckling. Soon she was belly laughing and snorting. When the hiccupping started, Kelsey stepped in.
“Okay, this pity party is over, Lara. Take a slow breath in through the nose. That’s it . . . no, let it out slowly. Keep doing that a couple more times and I’ll be right back.” She returned with a bottle of water and washcloth.
Lara sighed a final time and took a cleansing breath. It worked. The hiccups were gone and she no longer felt like a lunatic. She drank deeply from the water Kelsey had given her and draped the cloth over her face. Its coolness helped soothe her flushed skin. She just wished it could mend her heart as well.
She removed the cloth and looked over at her best friend. “So I gu
ess this is the part where you tell me ‘It’s for the best,’ huh?” She waited for Kelsey’s response and finished off the ice cold water.
“Oh, jeez, don’t look at me like that,” Lara said.
“Like what?”
“With pity.” Lara sighed.
Lara held back a sob and stared at Kelsey’s garage door. She couldn’t believe she was sitting in her car, in her friend’s driveway, falling apart. Over a man. Again. “Why does love have to hurt so bad?” she whispered.
“It doesn’t have to, Lara. But in your case I’d say it’s hurting more because you avoided it for so long.”
“I was in love, or thought I was in love with Nate, and that breakup didn’t hurt, not really. It just embarrassed me.”
“See? That wasn’t love, hon. You wanted it to be so bad you had yourself convinced. But when he cheated on you I think you secretly felt a sense of relief. Am I right?”
Lara looked at Kelsey and saw love and regret in her friend’s eyes. The regret for Lara going through two historic breakups in little over a year, and the love was always there. Kelsey had her back. All she needed now was Noel to show up with her “the grass isn’t always greener” lecture and the scene would be complete.
“Yeah, you are. But that doesn’t make it hurt less. God, Kelsey I really love him. I mean have-his-babies-grow-old-together love him. What am I going to do?” Lara closed her eyes and rested her head back. A lone tear escaped. She didn’t wipe it away.
“Listen, you need to stop being so hard on yourself. Besides, I have it on good authority he’s just as broken up as you are.”
“He is?” Lara lifted her head and sat up a bit straighter.
“Thought that might perk you up.”
“But that would mean he doesn’t believe I had anything to do with Nate. Tell me, what’s happened?”
“I told him JR confessed to you and followed it up in writing to T.S. that Nate set the whole thing up.”
This was too much. Lara couldn’t handle the roller coaster she’d been riding any longer. “Where’s Luke now? Is he still at the stadium?”
