Until We Fly (The Beautifully Broken)

by Courtney Cole

  That’s what it sounded like to me, too, and I have to wonder if Gran even knows him at all.

  “Then what did she mean?” I ask curiously.

  “She said that I had a soft spot for Jacey and that I’d never be able to give her the tough love that would fix her. She said I’m the type of guy who will come to your rescue when I’m needed, and it wouldn’t be fair to me if I was with Jacey, because I’d always be coming to her rescue. She said I need someone more considerate than that, someone who has their act together.”

  I swallow hard. “I think your Gran really was wise. She nailed you to a T.”

  But I don’t have my act together.

  Brand shrugs. “I don’t know about that. But she was right about Jacey. I came to her rescue a hundred times over the years. If I’d been ‘with’ her, it would’ve been a hundred more. So, Gran was right.”

  Our food arrives now and as I’m eating the steaming pasta, I can’t help but consider that.

  Brand really is the kind of guy to come to a girls’ rescue. And Lord knows that my life is fucked up. If he were with me, really with me, he’d constantly feel like he needed to save me.

  I’m no better than Jacey.

  I’m conflicted… between the desperate need that I have to be with Brand, to soak him up… and to let him go so that he’s not hurt by me, or by my life.

  When Maria had told me about Jacey before, I’d felt so high and mighty, so judging. But yet, I know that I have to meet my uncle tomorrow, and he’s going to threaten Brand and me, and still I want Brand.

  Still I want Brand, no matter the cost.

  So really, when it boils down to it, I’m as selfish as Jacey ever was.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Brand

  Talking about Jacey makes me uncomfortable.

  Not because I still love her, because I don’t. Not in that way.

  But because I can see that it puts Nora on edge. That’s the last thing I want. She’s been edgy ever since the dinner at her parents’. I don’t want to add to that.

  “Jacey’s happily married now,” I remind her as I finish up my lasagna. “And I don’t want her anymore.”

  “I know,” Nora answers. “And I’m sorry. It’s not even my business. Who you want and who you don’t want are your business, not mine.”

  I put my fork down and eye Nora carefully.

  “Since when?”

  The entire time we’ve been together at the cottage, her actions have been contrary to that statement.

  She shrugs. “I just realized that I don’t have the right to dictate anything to you. That’s all.”

  I narrow my eyes. This is new. And strange.

  “Weren’t you the one saying that the bullet has already left the gun and that there’s no going back now?”

  Something soft flits through Nora’s eyes before she covers it up.

  “Yeah. I did. But I can be selfish sometimes. Anyway, what would you like to do this afternoon?”

  She changes the subject clumsily and now I’m the one on edge.

  What the fuck?

  I shrug, attempting to appear nonchalant. “I don’t care. Want to go swimming?”

  It’s an attempt to lighten the mood. But Nora rolls her eyes.

  “Let’s not push it.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Why? When we first came to the cottage, you went skinny-dipping by yourself. Perhaps we should go together. It’d be a whole different experience, I can assure you.”

  Nora’s face brightens, the clouds clear, and she’s happy again.

  “Sure,” she agrees. “I’m sure it will be far different.”

  I pay the check and we head back to the cottage.

  As we walk inside, Nora looks at me. “It’s broad daylight, you know.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Your point?”

  She grins. “I don’t have one. I was just making an observation.” She slips off her shorts. Then her shirt. Then tosses her bra and underwear onto the couch.

  She stops still and stares at me.

  “I see you haven’t undressed yet. Are you scared?”

  I strip off my shirt. “Nah. Just distracted.”

  I drop my shorts and underwear at her feet.

  “Let’s do it.”

  I grab her hand and pull her out the door, determined to not become distracted by the way her nipples point to the sky. Not yet, anyway.

  When we reach the water’s edge, she stretches, lifting her hands to the clouds and arching her chest toward me.

  I pretend not to see, although my dick definitely stands up and takes notice.

  Without preamble, I scoop her up, plunge into the water, and drop her unceremoniously into it.

  When she sputters back through the surface, she’s shrieking.

  “This wasn’t what I had in mind when I wanted to skinny-dip with you!” she calls out, chasing me through the water. I swim hard, away from her.

  Cat and Mouse.

  She’s fast though, and when I slow just a bit, she catches me. Lunging out of the water, she slams her hands on my shoulders, dunking me.

  I rocket back out of the water and kiss her hard.

  She startles, then clings to me, her tongue burying itself in my mouth. She wraps her legs around my waist and I feel her, the very centermost part of her, pressed to my stomach.

  It makes me instantly rock hard.

  With her wrapped around me, I float a few feet inland to where my feet touch.

  And then I don’t hold back.

  I run my mouth along her neck, kissing it where it arches. I nip at her ear and when she arches backward, I suck her nipples, drawing them into my mouth and teasing them into sharp points.

  She grips my back, her fingernails digging into my skin as the cold lake water chills every part of us.

  But we’re heating each other up.

  Nora reaches down and strokes me under the water, teasing my rigid hard-on into steel. I could etch glass with it now and she knows it. She smirks as she dips her own head and licks my nipples.

  Payback.

  But I trump her when I slide my fingers between her legs and directly into her.

  Despite the water, she’s still dripping wet.

  For me.

  “Let’s go inside, shall we?” I murmur against her neck. She nods.

  “Yeah. Skinny-dipping is overrated.”

  She’s flushed, almost panting, something that satisfies me.

  I did that.

  I pick her up, carrying her to shore.

  “I can walk, you know,” she tells me, laughter in her blue eyes.

  “But you’re too slow,” I answer. “I’m a man on a mission.”

  She laughs and I carry her toward the house, both of us as naked as the day we were born.

  And then I stop still.

  Because there, sitting on the porch waiting for us, is Jacey.

  She looks tired, but she’s still here, in the flesh, watching Nora and I approach, in all our birthday suit glory.

  Nora sucks in her breath.

  “Is that…”

  “Yeah. That’s Jacey.”

  She squirms in my arms, but I hold tighter.

  “You’re more concealed if I carry you,” I point out.

  “But you’re not,” she answers. I shrug. There’s no help for that now. We’re both naked. But at least my arms wrapped around her will provide her with just a little bit of cover.

  Jacey stands as we approach and there’s laughter in her eyes. And confusion. I see her study Nora, trying to figure out who she is.

  “Brand!” she calls out. “I see you’re doing better… there was no need to worry after all!”

  “Is that why you’re here?” I answer. “Because you were worried? You could’ve called.”

  She grins and takes a step off the porch, her eyes fixed to mine, never flickering below my waist.

  “I knew if I called, you’d tell me not to come. I had to make sure you were fine.”

  �
�I’m fine,” I tell her, not stopping. I take the steps two at a time, headed into the house.

  “You’re also naked,” she calls after me. “Did you realize?”

  Little brat.

  I grin. Nora glances up at me.

  “Is it okay that I’m here, or?”

  “Of course,” I assure her. There’s a whole lot of self-doubt in her eyes right now, and I want to squash it. “It’s fine.”

  We get dressed quickly, then join Jacey in the kitchen. She’s sitting at the kitchen table waiting for us, running her hand over the wood of the tabletop.

  “I miss this cottage,” she muses. “There were happy memories here.”

  And I had been in the process of making another one, but I don’t point that out.

  “Jacey, this is Nora Greene. Nora, this is Jacey Vincent. Kinkaide, I mean.”

  Nora holds out her hand, but Jacey by-passes it, hugging her instead.

  “It’s nice to meet you. So nice to meet you,” Jacey gushes. “I feel like I know you, but that’s not possible, right?”

  “Her parents own the Greene estate,” I interject helpfully and Jacey’s eyes widen.

  “Ohhhh. You’re little Nora Greene! I knew I knew you. I used to wait tables at The Hill. I remember you coming in sometimes with your parents. You’ve…uh… grown up.”

  That’s a tactful way to skirt around the topic that Nora was naked on Jacey’s beach.

  Nora smiles gracefully, only the barest hint of a blush along her pale cheeks.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Jacey. I’ve heard so much about you.”

  There’s the barest hint of acid in her voice, and I wonder at it. Is she jealous?

  Jacey looks at me, her brown eyes soft. “I couldn’t help but notice, as I drove down this road, that your parents’ house seems to have burned down.”

  There’s a knowing expression on her face, because she knows me well.

  I nod. “Yeah. There was a bit of a matches and gasoline problem. Apparently, when you douse something with gasoline and toss a match onto it, it burns.”

  She raises her eyebrow. “Is the problem resolved now?”

  I nod. “It’s all good.”

  “Good.” Jacey yawns widely, then slaps a hand over her mouth. “God, I’m sorry. I’m jetlagged. Dom’s still on-set in the UK and he couldn’t come, but I wanted to be here for a couple of days to check on you. The jetlag is killing me, though. I’m gonna nap for a couple of hours, then we’ll catch up, okay?”

  “Of course,” I tell her. “Take all the time you want. You can sleep in your old room. Nora’s been sleeping in with me, anyway.”

  Jacey smiles knowingly. “I bet. I’ll see you in a couple of hours.” She heads down the hall, but calls over her shoulder.

  “Don’t think I’m not pissed that you didn’t call me yourself. I’ll be kicking your ass after I wake up.”

  “I’m scared!” I yell at her back.

  The click of her bedroom door is my only answer. I look down at Nora, only to find her staring up at me. I can’t read her expression.

  “I’m sorry we were interrupted,” I murmur into her hair, pulling her close. “But I’ll make it up to you tonight.”

  She nods, but stays quiet. Her uncharacteristic silence is getting to me.

  Jacey sleeps for hours, and in fact, I don’t hear her stirring until long after Nora and I have gone to bed.

  I lay in the dark, listening to Jacey’s movements in the living room, and ponder my situation.

  A year ago, I would’ve given anything to get Jacey to see me for me…. A grown man in love with her.

  But things have changed, and the only thing I feel at the moment is annoyance, that her arrival has triggered doubts in Nora.

  Because I saw the doubts in Nora’s eyes. I saw that she questioned my feelings for Jacey, that those doubts caused her to question my feelings and my intentions for her.

  We’ll hang out with Jacey for a few days, but I’m going to have a talk with Nora. I know she wanted me for the summer, but I’m not cut out for that. Gran was right… when I open myself up to someone, I’m in it for the long haul.

  The summer won’t be enough.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Nora

  I wake up to laughter and an empty bed.

  Brand is gone, and as I glance out the bedroom windows, I see why. He’s sitting at the picnic table in the sun, eating breakfast with Jacey.

  I feel the early stirrings of jealousy in my belly and I fight to tamp them down. I don’t own him. He’s not mine. But he sleeps with me at night, he holds me all night long. I don’t have anything to be jealous of.

  That’s what I tell myself.

  It’s hard though. Jacey keeps laying her hand on his arm, and they keep laughing over jokes I don’t know. There’s a familiarity between them that comes from years of knowing each other. Really knowing each other. It’s hard not to be jealous of that.

  Even though, at the same time, Jacey isn’t throwing herself at him. Maybe she did at one point, but now, today, there doesn’t seem to be sexual tension there at all.

  I pull some clothes on, and run a brush through my hair, then join them outside with a cup of coffee.

  “I wasn’t sure how strong you like your coffee,” Jacey tells me, looking up from their conversation. “So I just made it pretty mild. I hope that’s fine.”

  “It’s perfect,” I assure her. I glance at the table, trying to decide which side to sit on. Jacey solves that problem by patting the bench next to her.

  “Come tell me all about you,” she sings cheerfully. “I’ve got to know all about the girl who has Brand intrigued.”

  He sighs loudly, but doesn’t try and steer her away, so I sit down next to her.

  We chat for the next hour.

  Where do you live?

  What do you do?

  Where did you go to school?

  The entire time, I find myself wishing that I was at Brand’s side instead of Jacey’s but I smile politely and chat and play the game. Because it’s a game. I know it and Jacey knows it.

  She’s acting friendly and cheerful, but she’s also acting on Brand’s behalf. She’s searching my motives, trying to decide if I’m good enough for her friend.

  But she has no right.

  She hurt him more than anyone else ever will.

  But I keep a smile pasted on and I answer every question.

  I even ask a few of my own.

  What’s it like being married to Dominic Kinkaide?

  Where do you live now when you aren’t on set with him?

  Do you miss Angel Bay?

  She answers my questions for the same reason as I answer hers.

  A show for Brand.

  It’s when my phone buzzes in my pocket and I see William’s name that I remember that I’ve got bigger problems to face than Jacey today.

  Don’t be late.

  That’s all he says. I glance at the time. It’s already twelve-thirty. The knowledge that I need to go soon makes me uneasy. I don’t want to leave them alone. But that’s stupid, I tell myself. Brand is as loyal as they come.

  But he’s not mine.

  That’s an unarguable fact. He’s no one’s.

  I swallow and look at the two of them.

  “I’m sorry, but I’ve been summoned to work for a little bit. I have to drive into Chicago. I’ll be back this evening though.”

  I get up to walk into the house, ignoring Brand’s very concerned expression. Before I reach the door, his strong hand is gripping my elbow.

  “Is everything ok?” he asks quickly, his blue eyes searching mine for an answer. An honest answer. I paste on a mask.

  “Yes.”

  Lie.

  He raises an eyebrow and I sigh.

  “It’s fine. My father just wants to give me some case files to study over the summer. He wants me to be prepared for the Fall.”

  Lie.

  But I sound oh-so-convincing and Brand finally relaxes
.

  “Do you want me to ride along?”

  Yes.

  But I shake my head. “Of course not. You have company. Stay here with Jacey and catch up. I’ll be home tonight.”

  Home.

  A lump forms in my throat because this isn’t my home. It’s their home… Jacey’s and Brand’s. This is where they grew up. I’ll never be a part of that.

  “If you’re sure….” Brand’s voice trails off and I kiss him hard, on the mouth. Out of my periphery, I see Jacey watching us, something that gives me great satisfaction.

  “I’m sure. I’ll be back tonight.”

  I stride into the house with purpose and grab my purse. I don’t look back until I’m all the way down the road.

  ***

  The drive to Chicago seems to take forever, even though it’s only an hour. I weave my Jag through the Sunday afternoon traffic and by the time I pull into my parking slot in the garage at Greene Corp, my nerves are shot.

  My fingers are shaky, my heart is racing, my palms are clammy.

  Brand and Jacey might be alone right now and that might be annoying, but I have to be alone with William. And that’s more than annoying. It very well might be dangerous.

  I gulp as I ride the elevator to the twentieth floor.

  I swallow hard as I step out and my heels click on the polished floor.

  Then, as I stand outside the doors of the conference room, I take a deep breath and try to steady myself. I know he’s already here. I can smell his cologne on the air… something thick and cloying and old-man-like.

  The smell brings back memories… of clawing and biting and penetration.

  I gag a little bit, grabbing the wall.

  I can do this.

  I can do this.

  This is me ringing the bell.

  I open the door, and as confidently as I can, I step inside.

  William waits for me at the far end of the massive conference table.

  “Come in, my dear,” he calls. Even his voice sounds like an old man, thin and frail. I swallow my disgust and approach him, keeping my eyes carefully on him as I stop across the table from him.

  He smiles.

  “Now, was this so hard? Really, my dear, meeting with me didn’t have to be this way.”