What? Tears stung Kara's eyes. How dare she talk about Neil that way? ... What if it was true?
"Neil was a good man." Kara choked as tears overcame her. "He wouldn't have."
Why didn't she tell me this before? Why now? He wouldn't have. Viv was my best friend. So how could she? What kind of friend is she? Why is she acting like this?
All the frustration she'd held inside turned loose and she curled up, sobbing into the pillow.
Viv rushed to her side and put her arm around Kara. "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." She bowed her head to touch Kara's forehead. "It's okay. Don't cry. I know you still miss him. I'm sorry for what I said. I wasn't ever going to tell."
Kara nodded and took a deep rattling breath to calm herself. "Viv, I never meant to shut you out."
Viv reached for a tissue. "We both went off the deep end." She handed it to Kara. "It's been a long evening, it's late, and we're both tired. I won't bring it up again. But I'm glad you know. Glad it's out." She sat back and her eyes lit up. "Tell you what. Tomorrow you choose what you want to do. I'll follow along quiet as a mouse." She raised one hand. "I promise."
Kara used the tissue to wipe her tears but the realization her best friend was not the friend she used to be still hurt. Just when she'd gotten over losing Neil, it was another blow.
Viv waited for her to speak.
"No, Viv. I need some time alone. Tomorrow I just want to do my own thing."
"Oh. Well, if that's what you want."
They prepared for bed, stepping around each other. Kara fell into bed as exhaustion claimed her When Viv turned out the light Kara exhaled a sigh of relief.
She lay in bed thinking, unable to fall asleep. Is Viv right? Was Neil not the man she'd thought he was? Kara glanced over at Viv, who was now snoring. She can sleep now her conscience is clear. Great. But she's thrown this at me just before bedtime. And she knows I have trouble sleeping.
Kara wasn't sure what shocked her more: the way her best friend was behaving or the accusation. Which might not even be true. Viv tended to exaggerate things when she wanted more attention.
Finally Kara dozed off but then the dream came again.
She was with Neil at the Washington Zoo. Animals moved about in the cool air of early fall and leaves fluttered down as Neil held her hand. They passed a panther pacing the worn path in his enclosure and found the Great Ape House. Neil mimicked the gorilla that watched him with black eyes as he scratched his stomach with human like fingers.
"I wonder what he's thinking?" Kara said.
"He's thinking me want food." Neil scratched his stomach. "Me want hot dog. Me want to kiss pretty lady."
She laughed. He brought her near for a kiss. When a little boy behind them said, "Eeww," they broke apart laughing.
They ate chilidogs on the way to see the pandas. The sun's rays warmed Kara. It was a perfect day.
At the panda enclosure the pandas were eating. She'd thought giant pandas would be big, but these were cute little cubs with black ears and black ringed eyes. They rolled back as if in recliners, their paws and claws grasping pieces of bamboo twice the length of their bodies. It was a special moment for Kara. She always wanted to see the pandas.
Neil's phone rang and he answered. "Can't talk. I'm at the zoo, remember? Call you later."
The call brought on that hushed urgency in his tone. Then Neil asked her to wait by the entrance to the zoo while he went into the gift shop. He came out holding a soft, black and white, stuffed panda, and she laughed and gave him a big hug and a kiss to thank him. He asked the gray-haired man nearby to take their picture. He handed the man his camera, pulled her close, and they both smiled for the photo.
On the way home, they stopped for gas. Neil got out to fill up the car.
A shot rang out.
Neil crumpled to the ground.
Kara woke gasping. She tried the breathing exercises to stop the panic. She was safe in the ship's cabin, not the car. She hadn't had the dream in months. She'd forgotten about the phone call. Now her thoughts raced.
Who had called Neil?
She might never know.
It was Sunday. His day off. There'd been calls on his cell phone at odd times during that trip. She'd never know what those phone calls had been about, but he was a contractor and calls came in at odd hours. It went with the job.
But he was gone now. She couldn't confront him. What should she do with this? Why did Viv tell her now?
She got up for a glass of water and noticed a package on the desk next to the vase of flowers. A box of Godiva chocolates and an envelope with her name on it. Had Nate sent them? Their kissing kept them too busy to notice it was there. Maybe he had. She opened the envelope.
Chapter Eight
Sweets for the sweetest girl in the world. Daryl.
Her heart sank.
They weren't from Nate. Had Daryl sent the flowers too?
It was nice to receive gifts, but this ... First the expensive spa certificate and now this. Why was Daryl sending gifts? He was her boss and a bon voyage gift was thoughtful, but he'd sent more than one and he'd been acting strange before she left too. As if he didn't really want her to go, though from everything he'd said he was all for it.
Viv was acting strange. Daryl was acting strange. Nothing was strange before I won this cruise and now it's like everything in my world has shifted somehow.
She glanced at Viv, who rolled over and snored. Kara opened the desk drawer and shoved the chocolates in. If Viv doesn't see them I won't have to explain.
She got back into bed, but tossed and turned.
If it was true that Neil propositioned Viv, there must have been others. Her mind shifted, sorting facts but giving her no answers.
Neil had always said they had a perfect marriage. Kara had learned not to want too much. That way he couldn't disappoint her.
As she lay in the dark, her inner voice told her she wanted the magic. Wanted to be loved, treasured, and cared for. Wanted a full life, not the one she'd been living.
Viv snorted in her sleep and rolled over.
This cruise has not turned out anything like I'd hoped.
Kara watched the newsletter with the day's events slide under the door as someone did each morning.
It's time I took a day to myself.
The note she left for Viv said, "Taking some me time." Kara showered, dressed and left.
Kara stopped in the Parisian pastry café to load up on caffeine since she hadn't slept. Then she went to watch the culinary art demonstration where chefs prepared food and carved fruits and vegetables into sculptures, followed by the art of napkin folding and a galley tour.
She went to the open house bridge visit to meet the captain and see how the ship was steered, and took a Texas Two Step lesson. Though she stayed busy, thoughts of Nate crept in. Before each event she scanned the room for him and wondered what he was doing, but the entire day passed without a glimpse.
How could she miss him so much when they'd only just met?
Kara reached the dining room early, having managed to avoid Viv by getting ready for dinner early. She'd already ordered when Nate and Adam arrived with Viv.
"I missed you today." Nate sat beside her.
His husky voice sent a ripple of awareness through her. Somehow her feelings for him had intensified.
"I went on the tours to see the bridge and the galley and watch the chefs. Then took a country line dance class."
His eyes lit. "Practicing your moves?" He winked. "You can show me tonight."
"It was line dancing," Viv said with a dismissive shrug.
Nate raised one eyebrow at Viv and directed his attention to Kara. "I'll look forward to seeing what you've learned."
"Tonight's theme is country western," Kara said. "I'm looking forward to it."
"Adam and I have plans this evening. You're on your own, Kara," Viv said.
"Have fun."
I'm sure I'll have a much better time without you.
> "I'd be happy to take you dancing tonight, or anywhere else you'd care to go," Nate said with a smile, his brown eyes like warm chocolate.
Just like the chocolate she could never stay away from, his eyes kept drawing her gaze back to him.
"I'd hoped to see you today," Nate said. "But I'm glad you had fun."
She smiled. "What did you do today?"
"Spent my day hoping to catch a glimpse of a beautiful siren I met the other night." Nate watched Kara, smiling when she blushed.
When her food came out she looked at the green noodles in surprise. She didn't remember ordering green noodles. Nate distracted her, kept her off balance.
She ate a small bite, but realized she'd lost her appetite. Something about the green just put her off.
Nate gestured to her plate, "Order something else if you don't like it."
"Oh no, it's fine. I'm just not as hungry as I thought."
Their waiter bent near Kara. "Madame, would you like me to bring you something else?"
"No, really, I'm fine." She gestured for him to take her plate away. "I'll wait for desert."
The waiter took her plate and she nibbled on her roll. She moved her hand from her lap to her stomach hoping to calm the slight queasiness. Nate's gaze caught the movement. She moved her hand back to her lap and gave him a small smile.
Desert arrived. Angel food cake, fruit, and whipped crème.
"Trifle." Nate picked up his fork. "Should be delicious." He lifted the bite on his fork to her lips. "Try some trifle."
"Are you trifling with me?" she teased in a low tone, the image of him tempting her with the sweet dessert making it impossible for her to say no as a smile crept across her face.
"Only if you want me to, sweetheart."
She laughed and opened her mouth. He slid the fork in. Her lips closed over it and he slid it out. The way he looked at Kara made her want to curl her toes. She sat with her lips pursed and her mouth full of sweet trifle. Suddenly she couldn't swallow.
He's feeding me again. Why does this feel sensual and naughty?
"Is something wrong? Don't you like it?" A mischievous gleam entered his eyes.
Oh, he was trifling with her. He knew exactly what was wrong. The look in his eyes said he enjoyed every minute.
The last time he fed me it was salty as the sea. Tonight he's being sweet.
She swallowed so she could answer him.
"It's quite good." He took a bite, leaving a rim of whipped cream on his lip.
"Yes," she murmured, watching as his tongue slid out to lick the whipped cream off.
She swallowed again hard as she watched his tongue, remembering what he'd said earlier about whipped cream on heated skin and thinking how his tongue would feel against her skin. The thought made her feel warm and melty inside.
Her mouth suddenly dry, she took a drink of water to cool down and clear her head.
"The raspberry trifle is delicious," she said.
"Whipped cream is delicious." Nate's deep brown eyes crinkled at the corners as he grinned. "You did ask what my guilty pleasure was."
Oh my. He's not just talking about this dessert.
She blushed again. She took another drink of water hoping to cool the heat in her cheeks.
"Kara, I'd like to take you on the Rhino Rider excursion tomorrow," Nate said.
"What's that?"
"Adam and I are going," Viv interrupted. "I can't wait."
"We'll ride a Rhino Rider out to a cove to snorkel," Nate said. "You'll love it. Trust me. You'll be in good hands."
Kara relaxed her shoulders. A boat ride sounded like fun. She pictured them riding along on one of those glass-bottomed boats, watching the fish and feeling the slow breeze. She wasn't sure about snorkeling. If she didn't feel up to trying, she could always watch from the boat.
"All right." Kara smiled. "That does sound like fun."
"Good." Nate smiled back. "It will be."
After dinner Nate and Kara strolled past the bars, listening to the different styles of music. The piano bar was playing classical music and in one of the show lounges there was big band music. Country music played at the main dance club were they headed.
They stepped inside and he pulled her closer, raising his voice over the music. "You ready to teach me?"
"The dances I learned were line dances. Not couple dances." Disappointment threaded through her. She wanted him to touch her.
"That's just fine, sweetheart. You can teach me those first, then we'll slow dance."
They moved onto the dance floor, and Nate lined up next to Kara. She looked up into his eyes. "It's really easy," she said. "Just stand by me and follow my moves."
He smiled down at her. "Stand by you? You bet."
A song started, and the dancers began to move. Step, slide, step, slide, turn step again. Nate's legs moved in a slow easy athletic slide to the music as he watched her.
Halfway through the song, Kara noticed he picked up the moves quickly and barely watched her feet. His gaze stayed upon her face, yet he didn't miss step.
He already knows the steps.
When they stopped and found a table, Kara asked. "Have you done these dances before?"
A slow grin spread across his face. "Well, yes. My dad's side of the family is from Texas."
Kara frowned in confusion. "But you wanted me to teach you. Why if you already knew how?"
"I couldn't help myself." He grinned deeper. "The thought of you teaching me was enticing."
"But that's silly."
Why would he want me to teach him something he already knew? Didn't most men like telling women how to do things?
"Call me silly," his brow arched up, and he leaned forward, placing his finger beneath her chin. "You can teach me whatever you like."
His words delighted her mind as his touch ignited her body.
She swallowed hard. "I like to slow dance best."
His eyes searched hers. "Then we'll dance really slowly."
She smiled and he released her chin.
*****
The sun was just rising as Nate climbed the steps to the top deck. Kara stood by the rail watching the ship pull into the dock at St. Martin. Viv yawned at her side.
Happy to see Kara, he was less pleased to see her roommate. Last night the woman had interrupted them once again in Kara's room, just as they'd begun making out.
It was as if he was back in high school with a girlfriend he could never be alone with for anything beyond a kiss. Which would have been slightly less irritating if the woman treated Kara better. He didn't care for the way Viv treated her and wondered why Kara put up with it.
"It's a clear morning," Nate said as he approached them.
Kara turned to reply, her fair hair blown into disarray by the wind. Her eyes met his and reflected the same startling blue as the sky behind her. She took his breath away.
"Smashing," Viv said. "Kara was madly keen on getting up early to see this." Viv's tone said she'd rather not be up.
"I've never seen a ship this size dock before. I didn't want to miss it." Kara looked down at men uncoiling the large ropes before letting them down to where other men fastened them to the pier. The narrow pier stuck out some distance from the shops. A handful of people stood below watching from the pier.
Kara glanced down at a man who paced below. She frowned. "Something about him seems familiar."
"Oh my God," Viv said. "I don't believe it." She turned to Kara. "Is that Daryl?"
Shock crossed Kara's face. "No, it can't be. It must be someone who looks like him."
Obviously Daryl was bad news. Any man who could cause that look on Kara's face ought to be shot.
Her hands clenched the rail as she looked down at the man.
Who is he? And why is Kara reacting this way?
Nate looked from Kara to Viv and waited but neither of the women attempted to explain.
He looked down at the man. "Who is he? Ex boyfriend?"
"He's just a friend." Kara br
istled. "From work."
Her friend from work was anxious to catch her attention.
Nate raised an eyebrow.
"He's her boss." Viv said. "Her very demanding boss."
"Demanding?"
"He wanted to come on this trip with her. Can you believe that? Cheeky bloke."
"Viv, what he said was if you couldn't go he'd take your place."
Nate gazed at Kara and it struck him how naïve she was. He watched her, remembering she'd told him she married young.
"I'll just bet he would," Viv said.
"It isn't like that," Kara shook her head. "He's just a friend. And he's my boss. I'm not going on vacation with him."
"Sure looks like he's determined to go on yours." Viv snorted and shook her head.
"Security won't let him on board," Nate slipped an arm around Kara, who had a bewildered expression on her face.
Daryl's red face and the way his hands were gesturing indicated he was having a heated discussion below with the security guards. Then he looked up and shouted, "Kara," waving one arm.
She frowned slightly and raised her hand instead of waving.
"Guess I'll have to go see what he wants." Kara sighed.
"I knew you were going to say that," Viv crossed her arms.
"Do you want me to tag along?" Nate asked.
"No, it's no big deal. Really." Kara squared her shoulders and walked toward the stairs.
He had a bad feeling about this guy and when he got a bad feeling, it was always right.
Viv shot him a look. "Daryl calls her way more than a boss should."
"Is it work related?"
"Stupid stuff. Any excuse to call her."
"Sounds like he has a crush on Kara."
"He does. But why the hell is he here? This is supposed to be her vacation." Viv frowned. "I don't like it."
That's one thing we agree on.
Nate nodded. "Thanks for giving me a heads up."
"Yeah. Well, see you on the dock. Looking forward to the excursion. I'd better catch up with her now."
Aboard the Wishing Star Page 7
