Aboard the Wishing Star

by Debra Parmley

  It felt so good to wash her hands, dab wet paper towels on her sticky jeans, and run some water onto her sweater with the hope it wouldn't stain.

  Back in her seat she asked for water and took the peanuts offered. The sandwich was a lost cause so she gave the whole bag to the attendant to throw away, cola and all.

  She flipped through a magazine, listening to the passengers next to her as they murmured to each other. She wasn't trying to listen, but they were so sweet to one another and in love.

  An ache far greater than her rumbling stomach settled within her. One longing to be filled.

  Why was she leaving when he could be the one, the love of her life, the one she hungered for?

  *****

  At last the plane landed. She checked her phone again. Daryl had left texts and phone messages. She dreaded talking to him. He wanted to pick her up at the airport.

  She texted back. No. My car is here.

  Kara looked out the window at the black, barren trees and the ground covered with snow. Ohio in January was a cold, unwelcoming scene. Gray sky and skeletal trees. They'd already received two inches of snow while she was gone and more coming down.

  Wish I'd paid extra to park in the parking garage instead of this lot.

  She reached her car, found her car keys, opened the trunk, and retrieved the scraper then cleaned off the snow on the windows and doors. It wasn't until she was done that she noticed the two flat tires.

  Oh no. Both tires flat. Of all the bad luck. She called it in to her road service.

  "Ma'am we have you on the list, but it's going to be at least four hours. Can you find a warm place inside to wait?"

  "I can't wait here four hours. I have to get home."

  "Sorry."

  She hung up and called for a taxi. Even if she had the car towed tonight none of the tire places would be open.

  This homecoming was already not going well. She wished more than ever she'd stayed in Florida with Nate.

  *****

  Kara wandered into her kitchen and checked the fridge. One can of strawberry diet shake and a diet cola. A liquid diet was not what she had in mind tonight. Opening cabinet doors and the freezer to look in, she sighed.

  There's nothing to eat in this house. Once her car was fixed she'd have to go to the grocery store.

  She ordered a pizza and tried to call Viv, but the line was busy. She left a message saying she'd made it home okay.

  Kara showered, put on warm flannel pajamas and her robe, and turned on the TV while waiting for her pizza. Her phone rang.

  "Hello?"

  Nate's voice rumbled through the phone line, "Hey, yellow bird."

  "Hey, Nate." She smiled and leaned back against the brown tweed sofa.

  "I wanted to be sure you arrived home safely."

  "I'm trying to stay warm in this winter chill, but I'm fine. It's good to hear from you."

  "Is your heat on?"

  "Oh, yes." Her body warmed as his voice moved over her like an electric blanket. It is now.

  "There's no snow down here. Going to be sunny and seventy. I heard you're going to get hit pretty hard."

  She could listen to his voice all night. "That's not good."

  "Why, what's wrong?"

  "I had to take a taxi home because no one can fix a flat tonight, so my car is still at the airport."

  "Damn. I wish I'd been there."

  "I do too. It's been a long evening. I wish I didn't have to go in to work tomorrow."

  "Then call in sick. Take one more day for yourself."

  "No, I really can't. The work will have piled up. I have to go in."

  Nate kept silent for a moment before speaking. "You worried about Daryl?"

  "A little."

  "Do you want to talk about it?"

  A knock sounded on the door. "My pizza is here."

  "I'll wait while you get it."

  She put the phone down and went to answer the door, paid for the pizza, and closed the door again. The pizza smelled so good. She picked up the phone. "Okay, I'm back."

  "What kind of pizza did you get?"

  "Pepperoni. My favorite."

  "Sounds delicious. Well sweetheart, I'll let you go so you can eat, but I want you to know you can call or text me any time of night or day. I always have my phone on."

  "Thank you."

  "Are you all locked in for the night?"

  "Yes."

  "Good. Will you call me tomorrow and let me know how you are?"

  "Yes, I will."

  "And if Daryl gives you any problems, you call me, okay?"

  "Okay."

  "Good night, yellow bird. Enjoy your pizza."

  "I will. Good night, Nate." She hung up and opened the pizza box, reaching for a slice.

  He'd called. Viv was wrong. Nate hadn't been giving her a line. It wasn't over.

  She turned on the weather channel proving Nate right. The weatherman predicted a huge snowstorm. Maybe she'd get snowed in and wouldn't have to face Daryl for a few days. She could clean the house and get it ready to put on the market. A snowstorm wasn't always a bad thing.

  Her phone rang. "Hello?"

  "Did I wake you? Are you in bed?" Daryl said.

  Kara muted the TV. "No, I was catching the weather, but I'm tired and won't be up long."

  "You should know we're expecting a snowstorm. You need to leave early tomorrow before the roads get bad."

  "Right." Kara glanced at the clock. Eleven fifteen. She hoped he wouldn't talk too long.

  "Do you have snow tires?"

  "No, but it wouldn't matter if I did."

  "Why is that?"

  She'd slipped. Great. She was too tired to fabricate and unaccustomed to making things up anyway.

  "Because my car has flats."

  "You'll need a ride to work. I'll pick you up."

  "No, Daryl." She stood, clicked off the TV and paced across the room. "I'll take a taxi."

  "Don't be ridiculous. I can give you a ride. Be ready at seven thirty."

  How could she tell her boss she didn't want to ride with him? "Well, all right."

  "Get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

  "Good night." As Kara hung up the phone, her shoulders sagged. If Daryl wasn't her boss, she'd have said no. But she needed her job, so how was she supposed to do that?

  It took time to find a new job and it was easier to find one when you already had one.

  But she needed to find one. Soon.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Kara couldn't sleep. She paced in the living room, then stopped, stood still and glanced around at the furniture. The masculine brown and tan stripes showed Neil's tastes, not hers. She didn't want to live here anymore. Nothing about living here felt right.

  She went to the kitchen, picked up a pad and pencil, and started a list of things she could sell. A list of actions for tomorrow.

  First, list the house with a realtor.

  Second, create a resume.

  Third, list furniture to sell. Most of the furniture could go.

  She'd start somewhere new, leave her old life behind, and take only the things that made her happy.

  It was time to leave her past in the past. The house, which had once given her a sense of security, now felt restrictive.

  Could she stand staying at the job long enough to sell the house? And what then? Though Daryl now made her nervous and she'd rather not spend another moment with him, she still needed a good letter of recommendation. She hadn't worked any place else since she graduated from high school.

  She realized she'd been pacing again. Well, she wouldn't get any sleep this wound up. She went into her bedroom and fired up her computer.

  Might as well get started.

  She began listing furniture she wanted to sell. When Kara finally climbed into bed and set her alarm, it was two a.m. She snuggled down under the covers up to her chin and thought about calling Nate, but it was late to call. Then exhaustion took over and she fell asleep.

&nb
sp; *****

  The alarm went off too soon.

  The beginning strains of a headache pulsed behind her eyes as she got out of bed to turn off the alarm. She'd slept restlessly, having strange dreams.

  Tired eyes gazed back at her from her bathroom mirror. This is going to be a long day. She missed the warm rays of the Caribbean sun.

  The phone rang. What now? "Hello?"

  "Did you just get up? You don't sound awake. I'll be there in fifteen minutes." That's right. Daryl was giving her a ride to work.

  "I'll be ready."

  She hung up and rummaged through her closet in a hurry. None of her clothes suited her. She missed the colorful styles of the Caribbean. It was hard to come back to the cold, bare lines of the trees covering the landscape in frozen Ohio. The newscaster last night said an ice storm was probable.

  Kara glanced out the bedroom window at the crusty, sparkling snow. She'd move somewhere warm, like Florida. Sighing, she pulled on a slip, hose, and a dark gray skirt, the warmest one she owned. A white blouse and gray sweater completed the outfit.

  She looked into the mirror. In her tan and braided hair she didn't look as if she belonged in her old things.

  She put on the new yellow banana earrings and yellow scarf. Maybe they were silly but she liked them, and they added color against the gray.

  She hurried into the bathroom and washed her face.

  A knock came on her front door. Daryl is here.

  She spit the toothpaste out, anxiety coursing through her as water dripped down her chin.

  "Just a minute," Kara called.

  She went and opened the door and stood looking at him.

  "Kara? I brought you an all grain muffin for breakfast. Since you haven't been to the grocery."

  "How did you know I hadn't been?"

  He stood close enough she saw a slight tic in the corner of his left eye.

  "I guessed."

  "You didn't need to bring me breakfast. Really, you shouldn't have."

  "Oh, but I wanted to. I know how you like muffins. And we can't have you skipping breakfast."

  "Well, thank you."

  "Looks like you didn't get much sleep."

  "Let's go," she said as she grabbed her coat and shrugged it on.

  They walked to the car then she stood shivering under the falling snow as he unlocked and opened the passenger door. Once inside, she noticed a greeting card and a red rose on the dash.

  Oh no.

  They could never work together as if nothing had changed because it had. She regretted accepting the ride.

  Daryl climbed into the driver's seat. "I missed you, Kara. I'm glad you're back."

  "Daryl, please start the car, I'm getting cold."

  "After you open the card." He kept his voice shaded in neutral tones and his face closed, his expression guarded.

  She put on her poker face and opened the envelope then pulled out the card. A couple stood hand in hand on a beach with a red sunset and the sea. She read the front silently. We'll always have each other.

  She opened the card up and read the inside. I will always be there for you. Daryl.

  This was awkward.

  Kara forced a strained smile. His steady, watchful eyes made her nervous.

  "Thank you," she said, hoping her voice wasn't shaking. "You're a good friend, Daryl." She emphasized the word friend.

  "Now I'll start the car." He patted her knee, and she froze. "I know you're cold."

  Kara listened as Daryl caught her up to date on things she'd missed at work. Things she no longer cared about. She forced herself to depict an interest and an ease she no longer felt. He went on and on. How had she ever found him interesting?

  She nibbled on her muffin and stared out the window as her head, which had started a steady drumbeat, showed signs of growing worse.

  "We'll go to dinner after work and then to the grocery."

  What? Have I missed something?

  She glanced at his assured profile. "Daryl, I don't..."

  He cut her off. "Don't tell me it's too soon to date." His expression darkened with an unreadable emotion. "I saw you with Nate." He almost spit the name. "I know you're dating. You've never given me a fair shot." He shook his head. "Not once."

  He's twisting things. This was always a work relationship, nothing more.

  "You haven't been playing fair." His eyes met hers, and then he smiled. "You can't say no this time. There's no excursion and I've already made the reservations."

  The pounding in Kara's head felt as if elephants were running across it.

  I can't handle this. I just want to go home and call in sick to work for the next five hundred years. I'd like to tell him I wouldn't have dinner with him if he were the last man on earth. But the job. I need the job.

  "Yes, fine," she muttered just so he'd be quiet.

  If she could just get to the office and out of this car. She never had to get into this car again. She'd get her own way home.

  Tomorrow she'd call in sick. The way her head pounded she must be coming down with something. Her stomach hurt. She looked at the half eaten muffin in her hand and wondered if she was having an allergic reaction. Whatever it was, she stopped eating.

  Daryl leaned back in his seat and drove without speaking.

  Kara closed her eyes. Tomorrow I'll have to deal with this. I need to get my car, get rid of this headache, and get some sleep. Then I'll can cope with him.

  It was all she could do to keep the muffin down.

  She stared out the front window, fingers tensed in her lap, all the way to the office. Daryl turned on the radio and heavy early morning traffic kept his attention.

  At the office, Kara had only minutes to settle into her cubicle before coworkers began popping by, giving her no time to settle her thoughts. Everyone wanted to hear about her cruise.

  Daryl hovered, watching her. When he didn't hover and she was alone in her cubicle, it still felt like he watched her. Then it hit her.

  He's watched me like that for years. Always watching.

  Her stomach rolled.

  She wanted to scream. Taking charge of her life would take more than new clothes, colorful accessories, and a trip somewhere. She should confront him. She should report him. But he was her boss and her head pounded. She needed to lie down and get rid of this headache.

  Kara took the pictures out of her purse to show everyone some of the things they'd done.

  "It's good to have Kara back," Daryl said. "Even with those ridiculous looking braids."

  Everyone laughed, but after he walked away to take a phone call, several of them told her she looked good.

  Kara wanted to be anywhere but here. She thought back to the night she'd danced with Nate and he'd sung the Yellow Bird song. She looked down at her scarf and fingered it, remembering how he'd nicknamed her. Oh, how she missed him right now.

  She walked down to the break room and found aspirin. When she got back to her desk Kara called Viv. The receptionist said Viv was out of the office meeting with a client. Kara sighed with frustration then turned back to a week's worth of papers on her desk.

  Very few people had come into work today. Many claimed they couldn't get out of their driveways and had taken vacation days. Daryl hovered, leaning over her cubicle

  Does he have nothing better to do than to hover like that?

  She decided to ignore him. She worked until it nearly lunchtime. Then she flipped through the yellow pages, picked up the phone and dialed. The sooner she got the ball rolling on selling the house, the better.

  "Green Pastures Realty, how can I help you?" a woman chirped in a singsong voice.

  "Yes, I want to list my house."

  "Well, dear, you've come to the right place. Let me just get some information from you."

  Kara answered all the woman's questions, aware Daryl could be listening to every word. This needed to get done and she didn't want to wait. The woman would come out Saturday to look at the house and take pictures.

 
Kara hung up the phone, stood, and walked to the water cooler, past Daryl's office. Daryl smiled at her and she forced a smile in return.

  She bent to sip from the water cooler and when she stood up, Daryl stood behind her. He waited for her to finish then smiled and bent to take a drink. He followed her back to her cubicle.

  "Making calls on company time? Selling the house?"

  "Yes. And I'll work through lunch today." She turned back to her desk; irritated he'd eavesdropped. He knew she didn't goof off on company time. If anything she gave the company too much.

  "I'll order lunch in."

  She shook her head. "No thank you. I'm not eating. I'm not hungry."

  "You're cranky coming back to work after that cruise. Maybe you shouldn't have gone." His hands closed around her shoulders and she froze. "Such tension." He rubbed her shoulders.

  She shrugged him off. "Daryl, that's inappropriate."

  He bent down and whispered in her ear, "Everyone on this floor has gone to lunch so there's no one to see."

  His words sent chills down her spine and his breath on her neck gave her goose bumps that made her skin crawl.

  Oh my God.

  "It should feel good."

  "Well, it didn't."

  "You've had that headache all day. Did you take anything for it?"

  "Yes."

  He turned her chair around and leaned one hand on each side of the chair arms. "You need to relax more, Kara."

  She pressed back into the chair, wishing it could swallow her and take her away. She scowled up at him.

  "All right, I'll leave you alone for now." He turned and went back to his office.

  She still had to confront Daryl about the edible panties, but didn't quite know how. Be brave, Kara. Remember what Nate taught you. It's never as bad as you think it will be. Tell him. Do it. Get it over with. Since no one else is here, it's as good a time as any.

  She inhaled a deep breath and walked to the door of his office. "Daryl, there's something I need to discuss with you."

  "Go right ahead." He gave her his entire attention.

  She swallowed then forced the words out. "On the ship, someone sent edible panties to my room anonymously."

  "Hmm. Imagine that."

  She hesitated. "I thought it might have been you."