by Brian James
“Looks like we’re in luck, mates,” Vicky said when we didn’t spot any pirates on deck. The pirate on duty was Long Legs Billy, the ship’s navigator. He was busy minding the wheel.
“Arrr! The first thing we have to do is distract him,” I told my mates.
“Righto! I got it all figured out!” Aaron said. “Me and Gary will sneak around to the other side of the ship. You guys go over there and talk to him. When I shout ‘Man overboard,’ you guys switch the maps.”
“Arrr, why do you get to do the fun part?” Vicky complained.
“Because!” Aaron said. “It was my idea.”
Vicky rolled her eyes. “Arrr, I guess you do have the biggest mouth,” she said.
“Aye,” Inna giggled.
Aaron grumbled. But there wasn’t any time to waste on arguing, so I stepped between him and Vicky before they could start.
“Let’s go, buckoes,” I said.
Gary raised his hand. “Um, Pete?” he asked. “Does that mean I have to go overboard? Because I don’t want to go overboard.”
“Quit blubbering,” Aaron said. “It’s only for pretend.”
“Arrr, okay,” Gary said with a smile. “I like pretending.”
“Then it’s all settled,” I said.
“Aye aye!” Aaron and Gary said and gave me a pirate salute. Then they snuck away and Vicky led me and Inna over to where Long Legs Billy was piloting the ship.
“Ahoy, lil’ shipmates,” Billy said when he saw us coming. “What brings ye out here so late?”
Vicky had an answer all planned out. “Arrr, Rotten Tooth’s been teaching us to plot courses,” she said. “We just wanted to see how you followed one.”
Long Legs Billy smiled. “I’ll be happy to show ye,” he said.
As he was pointing out different stars and explaining how to steer the ship in a straight line, Inna was busy drawing a dotted line on a new map. The new line would take the Sea Rat straight to the North Pole.
She was making a few last marks when all of the sudden, we heard a shout.
“MAN OVERBOARD!”
Long Legs Billy turned around. “Arrr, what’s that?” he asked.
Vicky shrugged her shoulders.
“Maybe we should take a look,” I said.
“Aye,” Billy said.
Vicky raced around the corner. Billy stepped away from the wheel to follow her.
“Pssst, hurry!” I whispered to Inna.
“Aye,” she said. Then she snatched away the map Long Legs was following and put our map in its place. It was just in time, too—Billy was about to sound the alarm bell!
Vicky came racing back around and stopped him. “Arrr, it’s only my blunder-headed brother,” she said. “It was a false alarm.”
Long Legs Billy wiped his forehead. “Arrr, that be a relief,” he said.
It was time for the final part of our plan. I inched closer to Billy and peered at the map. Then I scratched my head and pretended to be confused.
“Arrr, Billy? Are you sure we’re on course?” I asked.
“Aye! Sure I’m sure,” he said.
“But look at the stars,” Inna said, pointing up at the sky. “Now look at the map. If Rotten Tooth taught us right, I’d say we’re off course.”
Billy looked up and down.
“Leaping dolphins!” he said. “Ye pups are right, we are off course!”
I looked at my mates. We all had to cover our mouths to keep from giggling.
Then Billy hollered out orders to two pirates who were snoozing on deck. “Man the ropes,” he shouted. “Turn the ship about. Full sails ahead!”
The Sea Rat started to turn and picked up speed.
“We’d better go back to our quarters,” I said.
“Aye, it’s getting late,” Inna said with a yawn.
“Aye,” Billy said. “Thanks for helping out, mates.”
“No problem,” Vicky said.
We met up with Aaron and Gary. “No one spied us,” they reported.
“Shipshape,” I said. “Now let’s double time back to our quarters before we get caught.”
“Aye aye!” Vicky said.
We raced back to our quarters.
“Let’s get some shut-eye,” I said.
Vicky and Aaron jumped onto their bunks. Inna closed the pink curtain around her bed. Gary lay down on his bunk, and I climbed onto my bed above his.
“Sleep tight. Don’t let the ship bugs bite,” I said.
Inna huffed.
I forgot she didn’t like the bug part. I had too much on my mind to remember. That’s because there was one last order of business before I could go to sleep.
“The list,” I mumbled to myself.
I reached under my pillow and took out the letter for Santa. I put it there to keep it safe. I looked it over one last time and then shoved it into a bottle. Then I opened the porthole window and tossed it out. Now nothing could stop Christmas from coming!
Chapter 5
Right On Course!
“Shiver me timbers!” I said as soon as I woke up. That’s because my timbers were really shivering. Plus, my teeth were chattering.
“Aye, you can say that again,” Vicky said.
I looked over at her bunk, but I couldn’t see her. That’s because she was completely wrapped up under her blanket.
Then I heard a noise coming from Gary’s bunk.
“Arrr . . . arrr . . . arrr-choo!”
I looked over the side of my bed. It was Gary. He sneezed so hard, he fell out of his bunk!
“I think the cold got inside me when I was sleeping,” he said.
“Aye,” I said and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders. “I think we’re sailing toward the North Pole. Our plan must have worked.”
“Aye?” Aaron poked his head out from under his blanket. “It was one stinky plan, then! I think my feet have turned into ice cubes!”
“Arrr, I think your brain’s an ice cube,” Vicky said.
“At least I have a brain,” he said.
“Arrr! That’s not the Christmas spirit,” I told my mates. “Plus, Santa knows when you’re fighting. He won’t give presents to kids who fight.”
“Says who?” Aaron asked.
“Arrr! It’s true,” Gary said. He pulled out his book of pirate tales and turned to the story about Santa. Then he pointed to a picture of Santa holding two lists. “There’s a good list and a bad list, and Santa checks it twice. Kids on the bad list don’t get presents—they get seaweed slop!”
As soon as he finished, we all heard jingling and jangling coming from Inna’s bed. It sounded like treasure rattling. Only it was less rattly and more jingly. We didn’t know what was making that noise, but it sure sounded happy.
“Good morning!” Inna shouted.
She opened the pink curtain that hung over her bed and looked around. When she waved, there was more jingling. That’s when we saw her bracelet. It was made of bells.
“Arrr! What is that?” I asked.
“It’s part of my Christmas outfit,” she said. “So is this coat and this hat.” She picked up a heavy red coat and a red stocking cap and put them on. They both had fuzzy white collars and looked very, very warm.
“Arrr! That’s just like what Santa wears,” Gary said.
“Aye!” Inna smiled. “And guess what?” Inna handed a hat to each of us. “I made each of you your own hat, that’s what!”
I put mine on. It wasn’t very piratey, but it sure was warm.
“Arrr, thanks mate,” I said. “This is a shipshape present!”
“Aye,” Gary and Vicky agreed.
“Arrr! I’m not putting that on,” Aaron complained.
“Quit bellyaching!” Vicky hollered at him. “You said you were cold, so put the hat on already! We have to get on deck for school.”
Aaron made a grumpy face, but he put the hat on anyway.
Then we all raced out of our room and up the stairs.
It was even colder outside than it was
in our quarters! It was so cold, Gary’s glasses fogged up. He almost stumbled overboard.
I took them off and wiped them.
“Arrr! Thanks, Pete,” he said.
“Sure! That’s what best mates are for,” I told him.
Then we looked all around. Rotten Tooth was nowhere to be seen. But we did spot Captain Stinky Beard. He was scratching his beard and staring at a map in his hand.
“Ahoy, Cap’n,” I said and gave him a salute.
“Ahoy, me little shipmates,” Captain Stinky Beard said to all of us. “Have ye noticed that it’s colder this morning than usual?” he asked.
“AYE!” we all shouted.
“Arrr, me too!” he said. He looked at the map some more, and I noticed it was the map with Inna’s course plotted on it. “Something’s fishy,” the captain said.
“Aye, Cap’n!” Rotten Tooth growled as he came toward us. “Mayhap I can take a look at that,” he said, pointing to the map. Captain Stinky Beard handed it to him. After all, Rotten Tooth was the best course plotter on the Sea Rat.
I crossed my fingers really tightly.
I was scared he would figure out our trick.
“ARRR! Something be fishy all right,” Rotten Tooth mumbled as he studied the map.
I looked at my mates, and they looked at me. Then we all gulped. We thought we were going to be shark bait for sure!
“Aye?” the captain asked.
“Aye, but it’s not the map,” Rotten Tooth said. “According to this here map, we’re right on course. The only thing fishy is the weather.”
“Aye! A storm must be a-brewing,” Inna suggested.
“Aye! A really big storm with lots of cold stuff,” Aaron added.
Rotten Tooth glared at them. “Stow it,” he said.
“Arrr! The wee ones may be right,” Captain Stinky Beard said. “We better get the ship ready for a storm just in case.”
“Aye aye!” Rotten Tooth said.
I wiped my forehead and let out a big breath. “That was the closest one in the whole history of close ones,” I whispered to Vicky.
“Aye,” she whispered back.
The captain headed back to the main cabin. Rotten Tooth started to batten down the hatches.
I raised my hand. “Arrr, what do you want us to do?” I asked.
“I want ye pollywogs to STAY OUT OF ME WAY!” Rotten Tooth roared. “School’s canceled for today. Make yerselves scarce belowdecks, savvy?”
“Aye aye!” we shouted.
It was the best news we’d heard in days. We still had gifts and decorations to make for the surprise holiday party.
“ARRR! AND DON’T BE SO MERRY ABOUT IT, EITHER! THAT’S AN ORDER!” Rotten Tooth shouted.
“Aye aye,” we mumbled. Then we pretended to mope all the way back to the galley stairs. But as soon as that scrooge was out of sight, we went right back to clapping and skipping and being very merry!
Chapter 6
Spreading Cheer!
“Sink me! I never knew making cards was so much work,” I said. My fingers were aching from cutting and folding paper.
“We have to keep working,” Inna told me. “We need enough for everyone on the crew.”
I looked at the pile of cards in front of me.
“Arrr! Isn’t that enough?” I asked.
I had already cut and folded about a gazillion cards. I wasn’t sure exactly how many. Pirates aren’t very good at counting. But I was sure it was close to one gazillion.
Inna stared at the pile. Then she put her finger on her chin. That meant she was thinking. “Hmm,” she thought. “Maybe make six more.”
“Aye aye,” I moaned and started cutting and folding again.
Inna went back to work, too. She was writing Merry Christmas on every card. Then she handed them to Gary. His job was to draw a star on them with paste and sprinkle over it with glitter.
“Avast! I think we need more paste,” Gary said.
“Arrr, that’s because you have more of it on your shirt than on the cards!” Inna said.
“Arrr! It’s not my fault,” he said. “It keeps sticking to me.”
Inna crossed her arms.
“That’s its job!” she hollered. Then she got up and went over to the closet. She took out another jar of paste and brought it to Gary. “Here!” she said and dropped it on the table.
The dust from the jar blew right into Gary’s face. He was still a little bit sneezy because of the frosty air, and this made him a lot of a bit sneezy.
“Arrr . . . arrr . . . arrr-choo!” he sneezed.
Glitter went flying everywhere!
“Um . . . I think we need more glitter, too,” Gary said.
“YOU BLUNDER HEAD!” Inna shouted. “I don’t care if I don’t get any presents, I’m still going to bop you on the head!”
She reached over and pulled Gary’s cap over his ears. She was just about to bop him over the head when she had to stop and cover her nose.
“Grimy guts!” I said, covering my nose, too. “What’s that stink?”
Inna’s face turned green. “I don’t know, but I think I might be icky sicky.”
Just then, Vicky and Aaron came barging in. They were carrying huge plates piled high with gruesome grub. “Ahoy, mates!” they shouted.
“Ahoy,” I said. Then I pointed to the plate and stuck out my tongue. “Arrr, what is that?”
“Blimey!” Vicky said. “These are the presents we made for everyone!”
“Aye?” I asked.
“Aye!” Aaron said. “Sea slug cookies! They’re the yummiest!”
“If you say so,” I said.
“Aye, but there’s only enough for the party,” Vicky said. “So promise not to sneak any!”
“WE PROMISE!” I said.
Inna and Gary nodded their heads up and down. There was no way they were going to sneak any of those cookies, either!
“We’re almost done with the cards,” Inna told them. “After that, we need to make ornaments for the tree.”
“Arrr! We don’t have a tree,” Vicky said.
Inna smiled really wide. “I know that,” she said. “That’s why we have to pretend the main mast is a tree!”
“That’s good thinking,” I told her.
“Aye,” Vicky said. “This is going to be the best surprise Christmas party I’ve ever been to.”
“Arrr, it’s the only one you’ve ever been to!” Aaron said.
Vicky glared at him.
“So? It’s still going to be the best!” she hollered.
“Aye!” I agreed.
We all put our hands together in a circle and got ready to say our pirate cheer. Only this time, we changed the words:
“GETTING, MAKING, AND GIVING GIFTS, TOO.
SAVING CHRISTMAS IS WHAT WE WANT TO DO!”
Then we all started cutting, pasting, and glittering decorations. We were so busy that we hardly noticed how cold it was getting on the ship. By the time we finished, it was so cold that each of us could see our breath, even below deck!
Chapter 7
Lookout!
“Please! Please!” I begged.
“Pretty please with seaweed on top!” Vicky added.
Rotten Tooth rubbed the two ends of his pointy green beard and glared at us. “Arrr! Why would ye be wanting to volunteer for night lookout duty?” he asked.
I reached under my Christmas cap and scratched my head. I was trying to think of an answer. “I know,” I said. “Inna thinks there might be a mouse in our quarters, and she’s a scallywag about mice.”
I glanced over at Inna. I was worried she might be mad. But then I remembered that Inna was a clever pirate, and she knew it was part of my plan.
“Aye,” Inna said. “Maybe it will go away by morning.”
The real reason we wanted to be lookouts was so we could watch for Santa. Plus, we had to put up the holiday decorations while the crew was sleeping. If we told Rotten Tooth the truth, he’d never let us stay up.
�
��Arrr,” Rotten Tooth mumbled and rubbed his beard some more. “Maybe freezing out here for a night will teach ye not to be so afraid of mice,” he said. “So as yer teacher, I’m ordering you to be on lookout duty!”
“Aye aye!” we cheered.
Rotten Tooth gave us a suspicious look.
We all covered our mouths and remembered not to act merry. It worked. Rotten Tooth gave us one last grumble and then headed below deck.
“Arrr! Let’s get started,” I said once the deck was clear.
We decorated the main mast to make it look like a Christmas tree. Then we put all the cards and presents around it.
“Perfect!” Inna declared.
“Aye,” I agreed. “Now let’s get up to the crow’s nest and wait for Santa!”
“Aye!” Aaron agreed. “Last one there is fish guts!”
We all raced up the rigging and piled into the crow’s nest. Up there, we could usually see everything. But this time it was different. When we looked out to sea, we couldn’t see anything!
“Pete? I think my glasses are foggy again,” Gary said.
“I think my eyes are foggy,” Aaron said.
“Arrr! I think your brain is foggy!” Vicky said.
“Stop calling my brain names!” Aaron hollered.
I held up my hands and made them both shush. “Avast,” I said. “Something’s wrong with the sky.”
All my friends looked up to see that I was right. Little pieces of the clouds were falling onto our heads.
Inna screamed and covered her eyes.
“ARRR! The sky is breaking apart!” she yelled.
We all ducked down and covered our heads.
Only Gary didn’t duck down at all. He was laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Inna sneered.
“It’s only snow,” Gary said. We all made ooohhhs and aaahhhs. We’d heard about snow, but none of us had ever seen real live snow before. “It always snows at the North Pole,” Gary told us. “It must mean we’re getting close.”
“Arrr, I knew that!” Aaron said.
“Arrr, you were hiding, too, Captain Big Mouth!” Vicky reminded him.
