We stayed overnight, hoping something fun would happen. It didn’t, at least not with them. But all was not lost. Talking about our experiences with the others made us both excited and we had great sex. I vengefully hoped that nothing was happening next door. The next morning we were asked to come down the following weekend. Joe promised to provide an insertable “hardener” (a small and expensive pill that is inserted directly into the penis’ opening and which provides quicker results) and suggested I bring one of the oral drugs, just in case. We babbled something and left.
My vengeful hope probably came true. We were later advised that Bobbie is bi-sexual and that her primary job is to lure suckers in. They had hoped that with an appealing woman, Joe could perform. Profile block in place as soon as we got home.
We were on and off the site for a while, with different user names and slightly different profiles each time. Within a few days of establishing a new profile, Joe would be there with the same set of lies.
Morale of this profile: People lie and have hidden agendas.
Chapter Two
Phil and Barbara – A Great Couple
Phil and Barbara worked for the same manufacturing company. Phil’s work could be on the dusty side so he wore casual work clothes. Barbara worked with the office staff and managed to keep her very nice clothing clean. We agreed to meet at a chain restaurant that was convenient for both couples. Phil is a big man and was easy to pick out, especially coupled with a gorgeous woman in very nice office apparel.
We mistakenly thought that Phil worked on the line as a regular assembler. As it turned out, Phil was on the management side, with a technical degree from a prestigious university. He had to frequently get right in the middle to the production process. Thus the casual wear. We never were told what Barbara’s formal education was. She and Phil could carry on a great conversation, not taking themselves seriously, so who cares what letters she could put after her name.
Needless to say, it was a great evening that flew by. These were terrific people who we could really be friends with, as well as enjoying sex with them. Phil told me that he was totally taken the first time Jan smiled at him. Good thing because Jan was very ready for more. She was more attracted to him than any other man she met. I thought Barbara was beautiful and really wanted to see her nude. I like to think that she was also attracted to me.
When it was time to part, we gave each other hugs and cheek kisses. I asked if they were able to come over or had to get home. They said they had animals that needed to be fed, which turned out to be true. They had a commitment the next weekend but it looked like the following week would be a go. Jan and I talked about them and became increasingly turned-on and eager to share beds with them.
Then things fell apart. We kept trying to set things up but they always had a reason why they were unavailable. We were confused but finally gave up.
We finally received a message from Phil and Barbara. They felt they owed us an explanation. Three days after meeting us, they found out that they had Herpes, caught from friends who were absolutely, positively DDF. People with Herpes looking for other couples will often call themselves “gifted.” This isn’t a gift you can return; once you have it, outbreaks can be lessened but don’t leave you completely. We were able to “lose” a really ugly painting from Jan’s parents but Phil and Barbara were stuck. Phil and Barbara don’t advertise but are upfront if a couple shows interest. According to a physician of my acquaintance, Herpes can be caught with either oral or genital sex. We really wish Phil and Barbara hadn’t made that one terrible connection. They and we were looking for one “right” couple. We knew what we wanted from the beginning and they eventually learned what they wanted – too late to be with us.
Moral of this profile: Those who can’t possibly have anything bad to pass on to you sometimes do, sometimes the gift of a lifetime.
Chapter Three
The Party -- Hosted by Marc and Mindy (No Kidding)
Boy was I dumb. So here goes the story of my terminal stupidity. And let me take all the responsibility for this one; Jan knew what to expect.
We met a couple on-line who seemed very nice. We wanted to meet. The only problem was a personal situation that very much limited their ability to make plans. Finally, after several cancellations, Marc called and suggested that we come to a party they were hosting so we could finally meet.
We weren’t sure what was appropriate since we had not met in person. Generally, unless we know a party is to be casual, we dress a bit nicer than usual. For me, that was dress pants and shirt, nice shoes, and the usual stuff that goes underneath. Jan wore a very short skirt, a sexy blouse, and barely there bra and panties. The only non-sexy thing was her pantyhose. Editorial comment: women should go back to real nylons that roll up the leg, hopefully exposing a lot of thigh if she isn’t careful – or wants to show off. Pantyhose are totally non-sexy and a bother to get off. We shouldn’t have bothered going dressy. Most of the people had on jeans or shorts. The hostess wore an easy-to-get-into bra, and easy-to-see-down sweater. Beyond that, she had on very brief briefs and easy to lose leggings. The host wore shorts.
We got there about half way through the guest arrivals. There seemed to be a lot of introductions being made. As it turned out, only one couple knew the host and hostess. The rest were unexplored territory, at least for a while.
We had some mild drinks and snacks. Then, when the host thought we were all pretty well relaxed, he introduced a game of their design as a party icebreaker. The game went something like this: With each round, all present were dealt a playing card. High card could then draw from a deck of homemade cards. Each card described a sexually oriented activity to complete; if the person who drew the card really didn’t want to complete the activity they could pass the card (but no one did).
Maybe my luck with this game was payback for the miserable experience with Joe and Bobbie. I had high card at least six times. Most of the activities involved somehow playing with the breasts of the woman of my choice (they could say “no” but none did). On one hand the lady was to sit on one of my legs with her legs making as much genital (through clothes) contact as possible. This position put her chest (covered) right in my face. Unsure of the right protocol, I turned my face to the side so that only my cheek was touching her breasts. After being teased a bit, my partner said, “Maybe this is in the way.” She whipped off her top, revealing a small but nice set of breasts, clearance for me to enjoy them orally.
I sat by the hostess because I was aroused by her. It seemed that she had similar thoughts because every time one of us had to get up, she very deftly gave me a pleasant groping.
My last action was to find a freshly applied scent on a woman. I could smell anywhere in my search. Not sure whether I could remove clothing during my search, I made a quick search of her front and found the scent on her back. I should have asked about clothing removal. She had deliberately put the scent on her back so that I would strip her and carefully search her front.
Jan was not without sensual activities. One of the men drew a card that directed him to work his hand up a woman’s leg (no clothing removal) until he reached her vagina. He asked Jan to be his partner. He slowly worked his hand up her leg. Reaching her vagina, he asked if it were okay for him to rub. She said, “Yes.” Jan later shared that her partner had done a really good job of entertaining her recreational area. That was kind of obvious, given her relaxed state and comfortably spread legs.
Jan was also a high card winner. If she agreed, she was to strip completely and sit, legs apart, on the chest of her chosen partner, who would be on his back, head toward the other players. She had to keep moving forward until the partner “certified” that he could see all of her vagina. She picked me and I cheated a bit. Everyone else could see all of her body even if I couldn’t. After that display several men asked us for “dates.”
The general rule was that once someone was completely nude, the party would move to an area with bedrooms but no windows. T
he remaining “tasks” were handed out randomly. Mine directed me to stimulate a willing woman’s clitoris. I asked the hostess and she quickly agreed. Off came the leggings and panties, as she laid back and waited to be entertained. Again I was a rule breaker. I started with her clitoris but moved on to pleasure the whole area. She was certain to make sure I knew she was enjoying it. Her husband was watching and was fine with my enjoying her best fun part (more about spousal reactions later).
Somehow the clothes gremlins had removed all but my t-shirt. The hostess got on her knees and provided incredible oral sex. Jan, who had been sitting next to me and watching, then took her turn and provided an equally wonderful experience. The hostess, after obtaining Jan’s permission, sucked on her nipples; she liked it.
I then asked the hostess to join me in one of the bedrooms for some alone time. I expected to go to a bedroom, talk a bit, play with her body, and then enter her. She was very wet from our previous play. We entered the bedroom and – to my great surprise – there was already a couple on the bed. He was lying on his back while his partner provided very enthusiastic and long-lasting oral sex. I still had hopes of being more than a biological vibrator. It was not to be. The man on the bed took hold of one of my bedmate’s breasts while she rubbed his chest. They were obviously good “friends” and I felt pretty much ignored. Nonetheless, I had a firm erection and she willing opened herself to me. She got the bed very wet. As I climbed off, another guest knelt down behind the woman providing oral. He started licking her and she never even bothered to see who it was. My sperm receptacle (can’t call her a partner) enthusiastically told her husband how soaked the bed had become. His attitude toward me seemed to dim greatly! When we were both out of the bedroom, we laid on a couch. I tried to hold her and get to know her a bit as a person. Waste of time! She just wanted to get on the floor and go at it again, this time with her husband watching.
By this time most of the guests were nude and engaged in various two-somes and three-somes. The host had an equal opportunity approach. After securing permission, he entered each woman present, thrust a couple of times and moved on. Unfortunately, he was big and Jan is small. It was not her most fun experience. But she does like seeing erections so I guess she got something out of it.
Jan and I quickly dressed, as most of the people were doing by then. Each of the women wanted to kiss goodnight. All but one. I had played with her enormous breasts with the rest of the guests watching, and had seen her naked. But she wasn’t “into” kissing. The woman who had provide oral to someone, and been licked by a stranger, gave me a very nice kiss and suggested that we might be together “next time.” There was no next time.
Morale of this profile: Lifestyle parties are not places where you dress nicely, have some snacks and drinks, and talk to people. After the initial icebreaking it is nothing more than a meat market. As active as the host and hostess turned out to be, I guess we were lucky not to have brought home something unwanted.
Chapter Four
Matt and Nancy -- Nice People With a Strange Agenda
Matt and Nancy were the one couple we did not meet via a lifestyle site. We actually met them at our one party. Matt was the guy who rubbed Jan’s vagina and Nancy was the woman who rode my leg and whipped off her top so I could enjoy her breasts. They were the only couple who we got a chance to view as more than compatible (or not) genitals. Matt was very courteous and polite in ensuring it was okay to rub Jan. Nancy provided me a comfortable way to proceed with her. They were also the only party attendees we had any desire to see later. The guy who licked the total stranger was hot to see us after getting a good look at Jan’s breasts and recreational area. The guy who enjoyed the hostess’ breast also saw a great opportunity with Jan. Up until Matt and Nancy, all the couples we met thought condoms were a silly waste of time.
Matt and Nancy used them. We thought this was sensible but kind of a problem for me. After ensuring an enjoyable state of wetness for my partner and hardness for me, I didn’t need any delays. To all you youngsters out there, taking them three or four a night, your time will come.
We identified Matt and Nancy as having a strange agenda. Here’s the background. Matt was okay with being monogamous. His only complaints were that Nancy was kind of rough giving oral sex. And that, when he entered her, she laid there with virtually no motion and barely a moan. She was definitely not the girl who was going to jump him and scream until the neighbors called the police.
So, you ask, why does this make for a strange agenda? After all, Nancy spent most of her college nights in Matt’s bed and they both knew what they were getting into (maybe a pun here). Since Nancy was rough, limp, and just seemed to want to get finished, you would think Matt might look for an enthusiastic playmate on the side.
Strangely, it was Nancy who suggested that they get involved with the “lifestyle.” Why bother when it was something to get finished quickly with her husband? One could argue that Matt just wasn’t meeting Nancy’s needs and she needed something extra so as to not be totally bored out of her mind. Arguing that would be a mistake. I can certify that this is just how Nancy is. It felt good to be inside her and I made the appropriate sounds. But I had to ask if she were enjoying it. And clearing Matt of any inadequacies, he showed Jan a really good time (or should I say “times?”)
Nancy confided that Matt got irritated about her lack of enthusiasm and desire to finish quickly. Matt confirmed his irritation and advised me never to expect more from her.
Moral of this Profile: She got it and still didn’t want it? Beats me!
Chapter Five
Robert and Cynthia – Oh How I Do Love Me; Let Me Tell You How Wonderful I Am
Ever known anyone so insufferably impressed with themselves that they make you flee as soon as possible? Bet I can top your experience! Robert and Cynthia both worked for a major corporation and, according to them, made obscene amounts of money. The company downsized and offered them both buyouts. Since the buyouts were salary-based, they supposedly left incredibly wealthy. Some of it must have been at least partially true, as we were told many times. I guess we just weren’t smart enough to understand the first five or six times. We were told:
1. About their neighbors the millionaires, I guess implying that they were in the same bracket.
2. About how she had the builders totally re-do their house to make it suitable for them (It was nice but had some cheap touches).
3. That they had new twin luxury vehicles (Think the most expensive American-made sedans).
4. That they lived in an exclusive gated community (Unlike, I guess, all the other gated communities).
5. That they traveled world-wide six months of the year.
Here’s the story of Mr. and Mrs. Don’t You Wish You Were Me. Oops. Strike the Mr. and Mrs. Part. They weren’t married; they were “in love”! Easy to escape if they got tired of each other?
So much for sarcasm. I saw their profile on one of the popular sites. As with most sites, their pictures advertised her; we saw main pictures of the men only if they were really good looking. Cynthia seemed very attractive, with a pretty face, very nice breasts, and an appealing lower area. He turned out to be a pretty good looking guy, in decent shape, and amply endowed.
We arranged for a first meeting at a local, fairly upscale restaurant, where they wanted to go. In fairness, it was pretty good and we have been back a few times.
We were in a kind-of-out-of-the-way, curved booth, which was apparently their booth. They arranged the seating. I was on the extreme left. Cynthia was next to me. Robert was on Cynthia’s other side. Jan was at the other edge of the booth. We had minor chit-chat and ordered lunch. Robert could not keep his hands off Jan. He was kissing her and rubbing her back and legs. When Jan made a trip to the ladies room, Robert announced how he wanted to know Jan Biblically. Okay, I figured that was the ultimate physical goal with the right people, but to announce it in the first fifteen minutes? Cynthia’s leg was touching mine and she put her hand on mine
. It was a fun lunch except for Robert’s over-enthusiasm with Jan. We even arranged for a follow-up dinner, which often means that the couples are ready for sex.
But back to lunch. The restaurant is kind of strangely constructed. What looks like the entrance isn’t. I parked where I thought we would be close to the door. It would have been very hard to be in their parking lot and be farther away from the door. When we exited, Robert asked where we were parked. Since it was a ways, Robert offered to drive us to our car. Nice guy! Robert managed the seating so that Jan was in the front seat with him and Cynthia was in the back with me.
Instead of taking us to our car, Robert drove to the extreme edge of an adjacent parking lot where the closest cars were barely in sight and there were no pedestrians. Robert started kissing Jan so I reciprocated with Cynthia. Jan was wearing a thin top and no bra. Robert made a move to her breasts, without protest from Jan. Possibly this was not preplanned because Cynthia was wearing a very thin sweater over a thin bra. A hindrance but thin enough to feel her erect nipples. A fun time and a suggestion of more to come.
Swingers: A Strange Breed of Risk Takers Page 2
