Covet
Page 12
Liam was being so distant since the plane ride. Come to think of it, ever since they drove away from his parents’ home that morning. Maybe his mother had said something about her when he went into the house? Maybe Liam was coming around to Elise’s way of thinking? Maybe he didn’t want a poor girlfriend anymore? Maybe status was beginning to be important? Something was definitely wrong.
She twirled her hair at the nape of her neck and tied it with a rubber band. Opening the door, soft snores from Liam caused her heart to deflate. She slid underneath the feathery comforter onto the cool linen, cuddling him from behind. She wrapped one arm over his waist and shook him slightly. He didn’t respond, and she felt like smacking that groove in the back of his head. Instead, she closed her eyes and spent half the night trying to fall asleep.
20
Raven looked up at the high-rise apartment building; anxiety rising as high as the clouds in the sky. All morning she’d tried to call Charlene. No luck. After all the talk of dragging her mother to Bellwood by her hair, Raven was fearful of passing out. This was the moment of truth. Liam took her hand as they walked into the building.
A black doorman in a dark blue uniform welcomed them into the gray, high-gloss building. There was a glass stand in the center of the lobby with a tall vase arrangement of pink cymbidium orchids. Raven knew all about the flower. It was one of her grandmother’s favorite. She tried not to think about Annette. Since waking up, she’d attempted to keep her mind focused, not even asking why Liam was so distant.
In the mirrored elevator, Raven felt her world beginning to shrink as she concentrated on breathing. Legs like overcooked noodles, she stepped out on the fourteenth floor, gasping for breath.
“Are you ready?” Liam asked when they stepped in front of the correct door. With Raven’s nodded response, he rang the doorbell. No answer. He rang again.
“What?” A woozy, feminine voice snapped as the door opened.
A woman in a sloppily tied silk robe appeared. Raven knew without a doubt that this was her mother. Peering through Charlene’s Medusa-like hairdo, the smell of booze assaulted her nose. Raven focused on the features of the woman whose picture she’d studied from photos in the attic.
Charlene’s mind began to recoil from the stranger’s scrutinizing eyes until the flash of familiarity blinded her. The young woman standing at the door was her. Reality flooded Charlene like ice water through her veins. She was instantly sober, wide awake. This was the same girl Alvin had snuck Charlene pictures of…her daughter. “Raven?” she asked, not really needing confirmation.
Looking at Charlene, Raven knew that she hadn’t thought this through. Should I hug her? What do daughters normally do when they meet their mothers? She refused to mimic a friendly moment between herself and her mom. I’m not here for that. If she wants to have a relationship with me, then she should hug me…
“Please come in.” Charlene opened the door wide, allowing her daughter and the young man inside her home. Her only dilemma? How did they find her? Why were they here?
Raven walked into the darkened room. I guess she answered my question for me. She didn’t know whether to be fuming about Charlene’s nonchalance or if she should scream and demand a reason for neglecting her, for never even checking on her! Elise said I was abandoned…and my mom didn’t want me...
Instead of listening to the negative thoughts that attempted to suffocate her, Raven held onto Liam as they stood in the gloomy living room. Charlene opened the windows, sunlight streaming into the lavish home. The living room and kitchen were all one modern open space: high ceilings, expensive artwork, the picture of elegance, trappings of success.
Raven looked at the minimalistic white leather furniture and the zebra print rug. There was a bar on the far side of the room with enough liquor to host a New Year’s Eve party in Times Square. Mirrors and modern art were placed on the walls, but no pictures. No pictures of Charlene, no potential lover, no friends, no family, no children. No Raven… Well, at least, I haven’t been replaced.
“Please have a seat. Would you like anything to drink?”
They declined her offer and sat on a leather sofa. Raven watched Charlene fidget with her fingers. She’s nervous. Looking down at her own hands, Raven found she fidgeted, also. Wiggling her fingers, she stopped and took Liam’s hand. She stared at her mother, watching her every movement, gauging reactions, looking for…love?
Charlene meandered into the kitchen and pressed the button for the automatic coffeemaker, needing a moment to think. She opened the refrigerator, pulled out a carafe of orange juice, and poured herself a glass. Taking a big gulp of juice, she came to sit across from her guests.
“So you’re Jonathan and Elise’s child?”
Raven’s eyebrows furrowed. How does she know?
“Yes, I’m Liam. You know my parents?” Liam let Raven’s hand go, folding his arms.
It took all of Raven’s willpower not to grab his hand back. So far, she’d determined that besides being distant the night before, he was doing a good job of showing support, comforting her through his touch.
“Yes. I knew them when we were young.” Charlene retained her poker face. Turning to her daughter, she asked, “What brings you here?” That came out wrong, but it was too late. The question was out.
“I need your help.” Raven mirrored her mother’s emotionless posture. She no longer cared about a relationship with her. Before she had tried to rationalize Charlene’s indifference with thoughts like “there must be a good reason she hasn’t reached out for her child.” The view of her immediate surroundings set fire to those beliefs. No matter her initial intentions, Charlene only cared about herself. Her mother was vain, greedy, and self-centered. Not worthy of the love, respect, and forgiveness that a small part of Raven had been prepared to give.
“Yes, any way I can help you.” Charlene’s indifference was maddening.
You can help by showing me that you love me… Raven tried to suppress that thought, that need to be loved. On the outside, she was just as detached. “Your father is extremely sick with leukemia and needs a bone marrow transplant. You need to get tested to see if you’re a match. I’ve learned that the procedure is very painful…and I’m sure, very inconvenient. Since you have done nothing for your father–or for your child for that matter–I’m here to ask you to do what you can to help him.” Raven felt as if she were a third party while listening to her own voice. Her voice was powerful. A quiver almost escaped her mouth when she mentioned her mother never doing anything for her.
Charlene pulled her legs to her chest as she sat. “I’ll schedule a doctor’s appointment.” A depressed look crossed Charlene’s face for a split second, a look that almost caught Raven off guard. That look wasn’t for you, Raven told herself. Charlene doesn’t want you. She was just thinking about her father. Clarity. If Raven’s mind hadn’t been made up before, it certainly was now.
“Who’s my father?” Raven felt like one of the investigators on television, asking questions with a laser-like stare. “My grandmother refuses to tell me. I want to know.”
“Of course.” Charlene gulped the last bit of her orange juice. Shifting in her seat, she jumped slightly when the coffeemaker beeped. “Excuse me.” Charlene hopped up like there was a match under her, hurrying into the kitchen. She moved slowly and methodically, pouring French vanilla creamer into the coffee.
Raven’s eyes were attached to her mother’s every move. Why was she taking so long to answer the question?
“Raven…I…” Liam started in a whisper.
“Later, Liam.” So as not to fidget, she placed her fingers under her thighs, rumpling her summer dress even more. Chest tight, she watched as Charlene took her time pouring sugar into a mug. Liam’s hand rubbed her shoulder and she felt instantly guilty for being mean to the man she loved, who was only here to support her. Raven gave Liam a smile and in a kinder tone added, “I want this woman to give me answers.”
“Raven, we should–”
Eyes softening for a moment, Raven tried again to be nice to Liam, just for a moment, so he would understand. She loved him like she would never love any other. Despite her feelings now, she would always be able to count on him.
Touching her hand to his cheek, she said, “I love you. Thank you so much for coming with me. When we’re done with this woman, we can have some fun before we go back to Bellwood. I promise I will be nice and sweet and…and we won’t have to think about this ever again. I’ll even run off with you to Paris tonight. I just need her to answer this one last question.”
Those satisfying lips mumbled their love, before Liam glanced at the carpet.
Raven sat on the edge of the couch, hands numb from being stuffed under her legs. Charlene came back and sat down.
“I don’t know who your father is.” Her mother’s face was a slab of cement.
Raven’s heart drummed faster. Oh my God. The bullies were right…Chris was right. My mother is a whore!
“Your father is one of two men.”
Raven nodded to the vigorous beating of her heart. “Keep going.”
“I was…raped when I ran away from home by a truck driver.”
Raven gasped. Liam’s eyes bulged.
“He… His name was Roy, and he had these,” Charlene’s gaze swept across Raven’s almost in fear, “he had these striking blue eyes.”
Before Raven could react in horror, Charlene dropped another bomb, “Or I may have already been pregnant by Jonathan Lemaître.”
Raven looked down at the zebra rug, focusing so hard that the black-and-white strands faded to gray, wanting to put her hands over her ears. Dizziness threatened to overcome her, but she was determined not to let it. Needed to be strong. Craved composure. She wanted desperately to…endure this. Maybe she hadn’t heard her mother correctly. Maybe we should’ve just left… We’d be lazing about the beach right now. What if we’d have stayed in North Carolina on Liam’s boat? Anywhere but here.
“Jonathan and I dated for three years until Elise came to North Carolina.” Charlene looked at Liam as if he were her opponent. “Elise stole him from me.”
Raven watched her mother’s lips move as a loud ringing drummed her ears. She got up, the need to keep moving motivating her every stride, helped to suppress the volcano that threatened to erupt.
“I need a pen and paper. Charlene, I want to give you my phone number. Call me after you’re tested. I’ll be waiting. I’m also going to give you the number to the hospital, in case you are a match.” The business at hand saved her. Without it, she would crumple to the floor. Show weakness.
Raven flitted around the airy apartment. Pen, paper, pen, paper… Noticing a magazine on the kitchen counter and a pen, she scribbled the phone numbers across the face of an actress, then walked out.
21
Had it been a minute, a second, an hour? How long had transpired since Charlene admitted to Raven about her possible fathers?
Liam rose from the couch slowly. Charlene still looked at him as if he were her adversary. He hurried out after Raven, but she wasn’t in the hallway. He assumed she would be waiting by the car downstairs. He pressed the elevator button and mumbled a prayer, hoping with all of his might that Raven was the descendant of Charlene Shaw and a psycho rapist truck driver.
When he was unable to find Raven down the street, Liam got into the rental car. Heart thumping, he drove down Olympic, hoping he traveled in the right direction. Where had she gone?
Two blocks down the road, he saw her on the sidewalk, arms folded, with no clear sense of direction. Sighing, Liam realized he’d been holding his breath. As he slowed, cars honked and sped by. Pressing the window button to roll down the front passenger side, Liam leaned over. “Raven, get in the car. Please.”
There was a hint of desperation in his voice. Time hadn’t been on his side. In his mind he’d worked on the words, the right words to say, all night long. Even when she snuggled next to him, he’d “snored,” still deep in consideration.
The love of his life kept at a steady pace, wouldn’t acknowledge him or the cars that honked as they passed.
“ReRe, please get in.”
The only response was her dress waving in the breeze.
Driving faster, he pulled into the parking lot of a donut shop. Not caring about anything else at the moment. Liam left the door open with keys in the ignition and ran to her. Still didn’t know what to do, what to say. He started by pulling her into his arms.
“You knew!” Raven screamed, pushing him with all of her strength. She visualized herself lying in the meadow again when he had disappeared to France. Time passed by with her thinking of him. Maybe if I stay angry, he’ll go away… It was far beyond her comprehension, imagining Liam not loving her like he did now. Even still, how was he to stay in her life as a brother?
He wrapped his arms around her as she tried to hit him on his chest, on his shoulders, anywhere. Strangers gawked at them like they were crazy.
“I don’t want you!” Raven sobbed into his chest as he held her close.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He wanted to shake her and tell her that she wasn’t his half-sister. She was the girl that he was in love with and the daughter of a rapist.
“Leave me alone.” Raven tried one last struggle. Then she let go, crumpling to the ground.
He picked her up and carried her back to the car. I’ll take care of you and keep you safe. You’re my Raven. You’ve always been mine…even when you didn’t know it.
They drove back down Olympic Ave to Villa Milan in silence. Glancing at Raven, he watched as her eyes streamed with tears. Black hair was flowing in the wind as she stuck her head out of the window.
Then she turned to him with red-rimmed eyes. “You knew.”
“Yes, Raven, I knew. Just yesterday I heard my parents arguing about it.”
Her genetic inheritance was now referred to as “it.”
“That’s why you were acting so…so fucking cold. You didn’t care to tell me.”
“I was going to.” Liam pulled into the hotel valet.
“When?” She glared at him as the valet came to open her door.
“I’m not sure; it’s not the easiest thing to bring up,” Liam said, but Raven was getting out of the car. Her gaze didn’t hold the usual confidence in him. “Raven,” Liam called after her as she started toward the entrance. She turned around, arms folded.
“We will figure this out,” Liam told his longest friend. Her anger melted as he pulled her into an embrace. She began to reason with him. “Let’s just go back to the day before yesterday, the day before you heard your parents argue.” She put her hands to the back of his neck and caressed his favorite spot. “I’ll forget all about Charlene.”
Liam felt her search his eyes, but he gazed straight through her. Not seeing anything, mind consumed with how to fix this. Yes, he needed to fix this. Brain working in overdrive, Liam thought about how they’d deal with the situation. Just give me time to think… He watched as people meandered in and out of the hotel, some with a content smile, as if departing to home after vacation. Some guests were blissfully commencing a new vacation. Then there was them.
When Liam used the hotel key card to open the suite, he was not expecting his father or mother to be sitting on the loveseat in the living room. Both appeared exhausted.
Elise unfastened the top pearl button of her blouse, softening her appearance. She stood and moved toward her stiff-legged son.
“Oh, Liam, what have you been up to?” Elise embraced him. He didn’t return her hug.
“Why are you here?” Liam moved her arms from around him.
With dramatically big, green eyes, Elise recoiled from her son’s cold reaction. Reclaiming her position next to Jonathan, she took his hand–had to show an alliance. She had to save the new legacy
from…from himself. Had her papa not completed their training? Had Liam not been molded into the image of perfection? Into the image of Pierre? Mouth tensed, her pearly white teeth clamped down on her bottom lip so as not to show any further anxiety.
She loved Liam more than anything; the truth perched at the tip of her tongue. And then disappointing Pierre flashed before her eyes.
There's no disappointing Papa. I'm just a worried mother. That is all.
Elise tried to caress her son’s jaw, but he swatted her touch. A mini heart attack clutched her heart. She detested calling her son the legacy, but Papa got what he wanted. Or so, Pierre did before Liam collided with Raven.
“Liam, please,” Elise said. “You…disappeared.”
“Disappeared? How does one disappear? Actually, isn’t it odd, you’re my parents but I don’t live with you? Besides, you cut me off. I thought you both were through with me.”
She held her tongue instead of slapping the idiocrasy off her son’s face. Through with him? A Delacroix? No, she’d allowed him time to vent. Evidently Liam didn’t understand her generosity in offering him ample time to grow tired of Raven. She’d never truly hated the girl. If Raven hadn’t associated with Liam, there’d be no ill will on Elise’s part. If he continues with the madness, I’ll have to consult with Papa. Then they'll all know the truth about Jonathan…
A lump formed in her throat. “You are my child, Liam. You will always be my son. There is no washing my hands of you.” Liam gave her an apathetic glare. Then he looked through his jaded mother, and then at his father. Jonathan had that annoying smug look on his face, but any display of emotion identified that his father hadn’t disappeared into the many facetious corners of his mind. Jonathan was in the here and now, and he was pissed off about it.